Peace,

Honesty is the BEST policy.

Be honest to yourself,
Watch them being honest to themselves,
When there is total HONESTY between you two
Touching and kissing ceases to be haram.
Al-Masjid Al-Haram
Marriage is the best policy

Peace

I see a lot of the hadith driven muslims always state that touching, kissing, and looking at someone is Zina.

This really confused me as I always understood Zina as meaning illegal sexual activity which none of the those are.

Those maybe lustful and even sinful in the case of "lower your gaze" but it isn't on the scale of Zina right?

Thanks

Salam Aryan Warrior

There is another thread which is adressing what Zina means, so far it seems the word "zina" can mean either adultery or public sex. Illegal sexual activity can be the heading of adultery or public sex. What sexual activity is illegal? Answer Adultery or public sex.

IMO, touching kissing and even looking falls under lewdness, fahisha, just like you said. But there is nothing mentioned in the Quran about what act is lewd. There is a very general "upper limit" that states you should not approach someone in lust. I think one could call it sexual harassement today. Everything under that is the individual's choice. This is quite logical when you think about the other things Allah has let us choose for ourselves.
We are allowed to think for ourselves, we are allowed to feel for ourselves, we are allowed to believe in what we want, there is no reason why Allah would suddenly enforce strict rules on what we are allowed to be attracted to.

Lewd or not, that is your individual choice. To some extent it is the community you live in and that a person should respect, but in the eyes of Allah it is still your individual choice.

Guarding ones modesty and lower your gaze is also very individual. I see this particular verse as a challenge for me to approach the opposite sex without thinking she is a woman. Allah is telling me that I should meet people without seeing the gender, I should look at their personality. If I cannot be "objective" and let her physical beauty affect my judgement of her, I must walk away.

So branding a particular act as lewd is not correct, because Allah has made us different. A french "hello" is not lewd in France. Two men holding hands is not lewd in SE Asia. Men wearing skirts is not lewd in Scotland.

In other words, according to the Quran zina is not forbidding kissing, touching and looking. The Quran is forbidding you to kiss, touch and look at someone if 1)you are doing it in with lust in your heart towards a person you have not given an oath to 2.)If you are transgressing your own moral values.

So with this little speech I am basically saying the same as you

Emil