Long, and all about me
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Peace FM,
I've been haunting these forums for a while now, I figure its time to step out of the shadows. I have to say that I'm glad I stumbled upon you guys. The perspective and insight provided here has been invaluable in my search.
My story is nothing new, like so many others, when I was but a wee boy, I would asked myself the question ... no, not why am I here. The answer to that question I've known since I was old enough to be beaten...
But I would ask myself what was it that made me so lucky to be born into the correct religion, to get that mile long head start in a fifty yard dash, while every one else is pretty much damned. I would ask those whom I thought would know, but all the answers were patronizing, even to my young mind. With no good answer, I rationalized this enigma to myself by deciding that the scales of good and bad deeds must be skewed more so in favor of those with less ... cheats?
So a member of the ruling elite, lets say in Saudi, with wealth and status and the true knowledge of reality ... well they would only get one good deed per good act and maybe bad deeds would be multiplied a few fold for every act they did that was "un-islamic." While on the other hand, a poor jew from the ghettos of east Berlin ..., hrmm, no, never mind, jews are cursed. Let me start over. A poor Jamaican living in the slums of his/her country, without a job in the tourism industry and spends all his/her time on the ganja ... well for them it would be reversed.
I didn't care about the technicalities, it worked for me. Until about high school when I began to wonder why all these kuf-far do not see the light. I mean, it was so clear to me and my community, a community that wasn't necessarily composed of the brightest minds on earth. Something must be holding them back. I had to help them, it was my job after all. They have to worship God alongside the Djinn the way I was doing.
After building some resolve, I decided to approach the line of blasphemy, I took a peak into their books. Unknowingly, I had just taken the step that would begin this aspect of my journey.
From the Bible to the Vedas and some of those in between. Oh I attacked them with fervor and fanaticism. Using the Qur'an as the measure of authenticity and the Hadith for everything else. I armed myself with the myriad debate points on Islam vs the world and set off on my Sunnisade. I learned how to tactically approach these other faiths, mostly Christians, since there was an over abundance of them. If the foe happened to be Christians that only took the new testament ... I would smite them with knowledge of Paul and the cult of Mithra. Be they Catholics, I would leave them gift wrapped IEDs on their pagan origins, beneath the yule tree.
I look back on some of my most successful battles now with chagrin. One of them, a good friend of mine from the military and devout Christian who believed the entire Bible was the world of God. He and I had a nice extended amicable religious debate war. Though it was pretty unfair, it was pretty much us talking theology, then me attacking his book and him defending. I would present contradictions and he would justify them. Like the one instance when Satan tricked David to number Israel in one book and God telling David to number them in another. He would say, "Well, Satan was doing God's will." How could I rebut a statement like that? However, what broke him was when I showed him the differences in the number of stables in Solomans' Temple, thanks to Ahmed Deedats' handy pamphlets (this was back in 98, when Al Gore was still perfecting the net). My friend, well he completely lost his faith. He went back to his old life of sex, drugs and alcohol ... literally, he started a garage band. I'm not saying that is bad, actually I think that was pretty cool, I just wish/hope I wasn't/am not an instrument that barred/bars him from asking God for guidance.
Smug in my spiritual superiority, I wondered why no one knew enough about the Qur'an to challenge me on my own turf. Well it was a couple years ago that I met a fanatical, but pleasant, atheist who decided to pick up the gauntlet. And he happened to be a fellow Arabic linguist. Oh how he tried. As he put it, he was mostly frustrated by the fact that the style of the Qur'an was almost impossible to attack, that it was nebulous by nature and vague on concrete facts.
Victory, I sent for the banner men with the medieval trumpets to come and herald "my" triumph. It was the eleventh hour when he stabbed me in the back. With 867. Yes, the loins and ribs. He preceded to educate me on the history of medicine.
And part two of my journey began.
I began to realize that these people who have been translating the Qur'an are not infallible. I decided that it was now the time for me to actually study the Qur'an that I knew so much about.
I've never sleep walked, but you can imagine a sleep walking person that suddenly awoke in the middle of an express way. It was kind of like that. Boy did my eyes begin to open, a new found respect for the Reading took seed in my heart. I read it from beginning to end, using the tools I've learned from my trade as an arabic linguist for the military. I'm no expert in Arabic, but I know how to research to get to the crux of the meaning of a word, and coupled with the fact that I grew up in an Arabic speaking family, I can kind of get a "feel" intuitively on the timbre of a phrase when it comes down to interpreting. Needless to say, my perspective on reality began to shift.
Then came time for the Hadith, yes I've studied them all my life but it was time for an academic approach. I felt I had a foundation and was now ready to begin the advanced level of my spiritual training. The six compilations, al-Muwatta, various tafsir's and other scholarly works were needed. Luckily I happened to have them all handy, my father being an Imam and a player in the North American world of Muslim scholars. I started with Bukhari, that being second only to the Qur'an, I cracked it open and I think the first Hadith I read was about a wolf standing on its tail prophesying the birth of prophet Muhammad to a shepherd.
Studying the Hadith, especially in light of a different perspective on the Qur'an indicated that there was something wrong. Studying the Hadith felt like I was reading an unedited version of the Talmud.
It occured to me that maybe, maybe ... I should put "Islam" to the same screws I did with the other religions. Using the same standard by researching any pagan or extra-Islamic similarities, the historicity and authenticity of any statement that imposes itself on the finality of my soul (as in Ruh, not nafs) and how it stands up to the most vicious test of them all, common sense. This was probably the hardest thing I've ever done. I had no idea how deeply I was programmed. And I don't mean that there is a better system at hand, the way every system believes members of every other system are brainwashed, but merely that I was conditioned to not see or sense something that was right in front of my eyes.
Coming to these forums has helped immensely, with the clear concise and precise proofs and arguments, I was able to convince myself that Bukhari and the gang are not divine and cannot define what is divine outside the context of the Divine. Strange isn't it that this was so hard to do.
And its been much easier to breathe once I mustered the courage to unshackle the harness of taboo and tradition that was chaining me to my feet. I can look back into my past now and see the absurdity that was compromising and complicating my existence, as if I was holding the key, that would have freed me, the entire time and I simply refused to look at it. I mean, it was being held by my left hand after all ...
So now, I'm anxious to see where the third stage on my journey will take me. Anxious and a little perturbed, I mean this isn't just a simple make over. Its easy to show the flaw in Hadithism, but what is the alternative. It cannot be a simple swap from one school of thought to another groups' school.
The Qur'an is complex even in its simplicity and provides guidelines that must not be transgressed. We know this much, but what those guidelines are, that is the question. Throwing out certain things from tradition and keeping with others might feel comfortable, and a few posters here have stated that one should stick with what they are doing until they achieve further enlightenment. I disagree and I think this way is implementing ordo ab chao, when I more a believer in the second law of thermodynamics. Traditional Islam needs a tabula rasa approach, a re-discovery more so than a revival.
Many of the senior members of this site have given some great suggestions backed with meticulous research. The opposing views and debates are great tools for learning as well, as it challenges me to think, contemplate and not just take what is shoved down my throat. But there has to be a certain defined consensus no? Especially when in comes to interpretations. I know this is what FM is struggling to do, to build a community that is based on the Qur'an and devoid of ego and I salute you. Of course there will always be opposition from outside as well as from within, chapter 78 says it best. I wish you all the greatest of success in this life and the next and I hope to be a part of the coming dawn.
This is what I know now, and it is in sync with the a priori, that I believe in God alone.
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Peace,
MashAllah brother, I really enjoyed reading this story. You have a talent for narration.
Throwing out certain things from tradition and keeping with others might feel comfortable, and a few posters here have stated that one should stick with what they are doing until they achieve further enlightenment. I disagree and I think this way is implementing ordo ab chao, when I more a believer in the second law of thermodynamics. Traditional Islam needs a tabula rasa approach, a re-discovery more so than a revival.
I have to admit I am guilty of this in regards to Salat, Ramadan, and a few other things. However, I do agree with you that Islam does indeed need a Tabula Rasa approach. I find the terms "Liberal Islam," "Progressive Islam," and other such identifiers as unproductive because I don't believe we need to add or take anything away from the Qur'an to practice Islam in a way that is rational and humane. I merely feel like we are practicing an untampered Islam.
That said what do you think is the best method to get other Muslims to see and understand the viewpoints expressed at FM?
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Enjoyed reading your post brother, loved your style and flow!
As for the consensus question, I am not so sure we need one. I mean basics need to be established and have been laid down well in the Quran, but God is the only one that can provide guidance. What works for me won't necessarily work for you and vice versa, however if you are honest and humble in your request for guidance, I believe all paths will eventually lead to God.
Peace
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Thank you Sarat and $aze for you replies
As far as the consensus, what you suggest would be a great if everyone agreed to it, wouldn't you think? As far as the individuals' existence, I assume that would be all that is required, to strive to grow ever closer to our Creator by learning from the signs he left for us in His book and in the universe. But when it comes to community and society, issues like how to deal with thieves, hajj, ramadan, congregational prayer ... you know all the hot topics. I think we need to understand the foundation before we can build, if we intend to.
And Sarat, I really don't think guilt is a word needed in practicing any aspect of traditional Islam. I understand that was a way of softening the blow in telling me to ease up on the C4 . To clarify I didn't mean that these practices are un-Islamic. I am starting to believe that Islam by its very nature is flexible in allowing anyone to express what is in their heart however they choose, as long as their intentions are pure and seek to ever learn more. The fault probably only show's itself when one is simply practicing TaQlid, mimicry, without understanding the origins or the reasoning of what they are doing.
I mean I would follow the Messenger's slightest suggestions as law, since God anointed him to that station. Sadly, he's not here and all the things attributed to him are laced with cyanide. Many people tend to forget the scale of time involved here. 1400 and some odd years, we all know that was a long time ago... but do we really? Lets think back to WW2 ... now that was a long time ago. We know quite a bit about that time since it was relatively recent, so we can appreciate the age of time, and that was only 60 or 70 years ago. How about the time when slavery was rife? Three hundred years ago? America is said to have been discovered in 1492, how ancient was that time? That was half a century ago. The time of the Messenger is three times the time between today and Columbus. A lot can happen in that span of time.
My opinion in how to get other Muslims to see and understand the viewpoints here, it has to be by example. I don't believe we have to try to reconvert Muslims away from Hadithism, but to instead just create a new way of life. If what we have is the Truth, they will come to us, either in tears or with teargas.
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But I would ask myself what was it that made me so lucky to be born into the correct religion, to get that mile long head start in a fifty yard dash, while every one else is pretty much damned.
Salam.
Though that wasn't the question that got me here, I do remember when I was younger asking that same question and pitying those who were 'unlucky' enough to not be 'born muslim' and are doomed to hellfire. It wasn't their fault that they were born to unbelieving parents. But growing up, I have come to realise that you are not 'born' muslim. It is a journey. This is what life is all about. It is seeking knowledge. seeking the truth. not sitting on your behind and relying on scholars. In the end, we are all responsible for our own actions, not the scholars.
I have just written my story if you want to read it. let me know what you think ) -
As far as the consensus, what you suggest would be a great if everyone agreed to it, wouldn't you think?
So we should have consensus for consensus? Haha, I love it! But I guess you are right, we need some sort of a base for dealing with social issues. This can only come through serious, honest and open debate among true believers. However, I think when it comes to personal stuff like praying, fasting and such, it is much easier to find your own way.
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Peace,
And Sarat, I really don't think guilt is a word needed in practicing any aspect of traditional Islam. I understand that was a way of softening the blow in telling me to ease up on the C4.
I agree with you here. I still do the traditional Salat, mainly because I just love doing it. Even though I've seen very convincing articles suggesting that it may not be entirely correct, I just cant stop doing it. I don't even feel guilty doing it, however I am guilty of the act (if that makes sense haha).
To clarify I didn't mean that these practices are un-Islamic. I am starting to believe that Islam by its very nature is flexible in allowing anyone to express what is in their heart however they choose, as long as their intentions are pure and seek to ever learn more. The fault probably only show's itself when one is simply practicing TaQlid, mimicry, without understanding the origins or the reasoning of what they are doing.
I agree with you completely.
Oh and welcome to the forum
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peace and welcome sun