A short(ish) autobiographical account of my Journey here.
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My story -
Not very adventurous, but mine nonetheless. I was born a sunni muslim. Put through the paces of learning how to read arabic without understanding it (even at age 6 you wonder whats the point?). Memorised passages, but didnt like the way everyone seemed lead two types of life. Near the vicinity of a Masjid - all holy and questioning each other or relating hadith. Away from the Masjid - backbiting, drug abuse, verbal abuse etc. Too much 'DO NOT' not enough 'DO'.
I started feeling incomplete very early on in my life so always sought other ways of satisfying my thirst for knowledge and reconciling what I felt with what I was told was the 'right' thing. At age twelve I saw a programme on TV about meditation and how it develops spirituality - usual comments from the family persued as to how 'infidels' pray etc. I decided to discover for myself. I discovered a book about the 'How of Meditation', and rapidly started meditating, clearing my mind, but making sure that I did not involve any 'god' or deity in my mantras or methods of meditation.
At college I came across a girl from the Ahmaddiya (Qadiyaani) sect. I promptly investigated as much as I could and found the differences between what I had been led to beleive and what their (Ahmadi) scholars were saying were vast. The one and only time I have ever felt that I was losing my mind, that I was looking into an abyss was when I was reading a book that challenged the fact that mainstream Sunnism was wrong and Ahmadism was correct. I promplty put the book down and decided to leave the subject as it questioned the very belief I had been 'born' with. So I went back to meditating quietly on my own.
I continued meditating for a number of years until I became involved with a Naqshbandi group who practiced guided meditation every Sunday. This really awakened my inner self, some fantastic practices and ideas were discussed every sunday. This would have become my whole life until I delved deeper into the group and discoved to my chagrin that people were involved in making their view count or upholding their belief system with elaborate discourses on Hadith, totally neglecting the Quran. The sheikh who led the congregation remarked a statement at one time which pierced me - "The Hadith is pure because the Holy Prophet has related it to us with his DIRECT link to god, where as the Quran has passed through an Angel to reach the prophet." I found this statement to insinuate that the Hadith was to be trusted above the Quran. A week or two after this discussion the group split.
My interest still held, but only when I went to University did my interest reawaken. I met an individual who was fascinating in regards to the amount of knowledge that he had. We used to talk all the time about Islam and what perspectives we each brought. I was severely outclassed in knowledge, but I had ideas that were different enough to discuss. He introduced me to the 'Quran only' method of study. It was interesting and still is to this day. The spark of Ramadan made me install my digital Quran and search the web, where I chanced upon your website. I started in the evening about 10pm and stopped reading (when my wife insisted that i switch the infernal computer off!) at around 2am. I am hooked. Most of what I have read sounds like it makes sense. I hope to continue reading. I was discussing with the wife how it would be impressive if I could actually understand the Quran and not just read it rote - every time this is discussed with everyone it is usually - 'You should do it' but never how I should. I promptly ordered your translation 'The Message' and have been reading the online version too.I am glad that someone is there to show me the way, to put me in the right direction of the knowledge so that I can absorb it myself, rather than preaching to me.
Thank you again for re-awakening my thirst.
Salaam Yasin.