Are women allowed to seek divorce?
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Salaam mz
It's interesting that you brough up this subject.
While I was participating in discussions about the word "adhibuuhunna", I started thinking about the other verse 4128 "And if a woman fears "nushuuzan" on her husband's part, there is no blame on both of them if they make terms of peace, and making peace is better...". I stopped at "there is no blame/sin if they make peace. Why should there be any blame or sin at all? And peace is better than what? Maybe because the woman has the right to divorce him. Especially when we compare it to the verse where she is the naashiz and he is commanded to work out the marriage. I think it might be that women can divorce, men should work out the marriage before they go through some regulations ending in divorce, and are not allowed to divorce by their own will.
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Salam,
Forget about the verses about Nashooz, these are about men and women's insecurities and most people don't have the brain capacity to understand them (no crime has actually been committed). I explained them in the "adhrebhunna" thread where adhrebhunna has nothing to do with hitting. As a matter of fact the word dharaba or dharabtum doesn't mean hit anywhere in the Quran, which proves that the word hit back then was "aatha" or "aathoo-hum/huma/hunna" where God specifies how this shall be done. So these verses are irrelevant here but they basically mean that if a woman is insecure (has fear) she can try to work things out with him (so that her insecurities don't go on and she can hold on to him in case he may be seeking something else). When a man is insecure (has fear) he is to talk to her and avoid her sexually and separate from her unless she responds.
Note if a man's insecurities turn out to be true and let's say the woman is actually cheating, then God protects the husband by saying avoid her sexually and separate from her unless she responds. It's clear, if she responds when husband says he wants to separate then obviously they can work things out, if not then better to leave her as it's clear she doesn't want him... if they split then as God says send judges and if it turns out to be a serious problem then the break will be a COUNTABLE one which may lead to divorce.
Women are allowed to divorce men but must keep in the boundaries of the laws. Oppression is not allowed and no woman can stay with a man against her will. But divorce is strongly discouraged and if she's pregnant she should stay with the man until she gives birth as things may change after the child is born.
Those who intend to divorce their wives shall wait four months (cooling off); if they change their minds and reconcile, then GOD is Forgiver, Merciful.
If they go through with the divorce, then GOD is Hearer, Knower.
The divorced women shall wait three menstruations (before marrying another man). It is not lawful for them to conceal what GOD creates in their wombs, if they believe in GOD and the Last Day. (In case of pregnancy,) the husband's wishes shall supersede the wife's wishes, if he wants to remarry her. The women have rights, as well as obligations, equitably. Thus, the man's wishes prevail (in case of pregnancy). GOD is Almighty, Most Wise.
Divorce may be retracted twice. The divorced woman shall be allowed to live in the same home amicably, or leave it amicably. It is not lawful for the husband to take back anything he had given her. However, the couple may fear that they may transgress GOD's law. If there is fear that they may transgress GOD's law, they commit no error if the wife willingly gives back whatever she chooses. These are GOD's laws; do not transgress them. Those who transgress GOD's laws are the unjust.Verse 2228 shows that the wife may wish to be divorced. But if there's a baby on the way and husband wants the marriage to continue then the woman shall wait till child is born.
2229 - If the couple are righteous and they want divorce they can stay in the same house (they shouldn't be enemies or oppress one another and can't have sex for four months). But if they fear that they will trangress the laws then it's better for the wife to give back what she took from the husband and leave the house and wait the 4 months away from him.The most important thing to God is the waiting period. In case of extreme problems the verse below applies
You shall allow them to live in the same home in which they lived with you, and do not make life so miserable for them that they leave on their own. If they are pregnant, you shall spend on them until they give birth. If they nurse the infant, you shall pay them for this service. You shall maintain the amicable relations among you. If you disagree, you may hire another woman to nurse the child.
The verses thus show that women are allowed to leave the home. There will be other things to do later waiting period, send 2 judges, divorce requires 2 witnesses. Divorce can be done twice.
The waiting period is 4 months after the last time she has had intercourse with him (whether she is still in the house or not). If they break this rule and have intercourse, then start count of 4 months all over again. That's what I understand. It is thus hard to seek divorce and God doesn't like divorce.
But if 4 months have past (with no intercourse) then it's time to send judges if haven't already done so, and if they can't work things out then 2 witnesses come to witness the divorce and then both can move on.
You can't cheat God's law and say we don't need to wait 4 months because we used protection anyway or something like that, and similarly men can't cheat God's law and say after the 4 months I still don't want to divorce her (unless they are both happy to reconcile). So there are long processes involved.
Scholars and religious leaders have added a lot of other laws and strategies for such cases (they don't believe that God's words are enough), but I'm not going to do this I provide information straight from the book.
The only time when a waiting/ break period is not required is if couples get married but never have intercourse.
Hope that helps.
peace
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Salam,
Yes I agree Warner (as long as both parties stick to the rules set by God).
There is no point in a marriage if a woman is there against her will. That wouldn't be "mawadda and rahma".
The actual act of divorce itself comes from neither the husband nor the wife, it is actually done by the two witnesses. It is not a man's privilege.
Such laws have obviously been corrupted beyond recognition.
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Salaams warner,peace,
I think according to 2229 which allows the woman to ransom herself or to buy her freedom
Thats a good one - and supposing she can't buy her freedom Br.
The actual act of divorce itself comes from neither the husband nor the wife, it is actually done by the two witnesses. It is not a man's privilege.
is this according to the present day translation of the quran - or outside it?
Such laws have obviously been corrupted beyond recognition.
yes i agree 100%.
God Bless.
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Salam,
Thats a good one - and supposing she can't buy her freedom Br.
This issue has nothing to do with religion. Women can be oppressed in any culture and in any marriage. It is against the values of God. If a woman feels like that then she should try to work things out. If things continue to get worse then it's time for a break and she's allowed to leave. If they fear permanent separation thus send 2 judges. One to represent each party.
is this according to the present day translation of the quran - or outside it?
The issue of taking action towards a divorce has nothing to do with either a modern or an ancient translation. If you ask different religious leaders they'll tell you different things.
But as I understand straight from the Quran if a husband and wife have had no sexual relations for 4 months straight then it is time to either divorce, or get back together (in addition if she seeks marriage with another man she needs to have passed 3 menstruation periods).
If divorce is the option then 2 witnesses will witness on that... if one of the couples refuses to cooperate with the divorce process while the other wants a divorce and they have already taken the 4 months break then the divorce shall go ahead and counts as divorce ONE. The couple may get back together later if they wish but the couple will still be considered as having taken out divorce number ONE.
If the process happens all over again then this will count as divorce number TWO (divorce is twice). This is a serious DIVORCE where couples are not allowed to get back together unless the woman married someone else and then divorced him.
These days, people are not going by these laws ... they go by Sunna and whatever a sheikh/religious leader says. They also go by tradition and culture which makes a man fully responsible (without the woman) for all marriage and divorce issues which is rediculous .. there are also men that tell their wives straight You are divorced X 3 . It's a joke. and many women get divorced also and seek another man without waiting this 4 months period, it's as if people can't read the Quran.
Hope that helps.
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Salaams peace,
Under certain circumstances IN THE QURAN MEN ARE allowed TO DIVORCE THEIR WIVES , why isn't there such a thing IN THE QURAN FOR WOMEN that is all.
I do believe there is though but it is screwed up in the translation as some one else here said - it will be shown later.
Thanks.
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Salaams,
So if a wife wants a divorce she is allowed it.
Using burhans see the root Du?a ? DAL,AIN,WA .- yearning/cry/ call.
and when (remember) you said to her has bestowed grace Allah on her and you have done favour to her keep to yourself your partner and keep your duty to Allah but you hide in yourself what, Allah will make manifest and you fear the people and Allah had better right that you should fear Him so when their desire to finally end the union increased We joined her in a new marriage tie in order that (in future) there may be no difficulty to the Believers in of the wives yearning/ call, when the latter have dissolved with the necessary (formality) (their marriage) with them. And must be command of Allah fulfilled.
there can be no difficulty to the Prophet in what Allah has indicated to him as a duty. It was the practice of Allah amongst those of old that have passed away. And the command of Allah is a decree determined.
(Those who convey) the message of Allah, and reverence it with awe, and reverence none but Allah. And enough is Allah to call to account.
There is no god but He Who gives life and gives death,- The Lord and Cherisher to you and your earliest ancestors.
Here He(God) is the Abaa.
Gods Blessings.