Huuuuge Problem about sexuality!
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Salam guys
I m new to this forum and glad to be here!
I am going mad actually and ill tell u why!
...... Well the thing is that Im straight and I love girls but have never had a GF ...... ummm for the past 2-3 years, I m getting these thoughts about being gay and wanting to engage in gay activities (not shagging but more like wrestling naked and getting jacked off) .. I know that I m straight and want to get rid of these thoughts but dont know how too! .. I always have to complement a girl to get rid of these thoughts or see some naked girls on the net! I also go on the net to find guys (who are muscled) and get in contact with them! I dont want to do any of this but it just happens!
How do I get rid of this and become 100% straight (even though I know I am)! ..... HELP HELP!
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Cyrus dont panic.
Anyone can go down that path if they are not careful as i believe no-one on earth is biologically gay. You are definetly straight! Try and be patient, and take small steps. First do not go on the internet to look at porn because lust is very hard to control and you need to be away from all that bad material. Secondly, try and occupy your time with something not related to sex as it will make you feel more pure.Don't panic mainly and try and keep a level head. Fight your urges because they are from the devil and he will not just stop at gayness, it will lead to worse things if you don't fight it. Pray to God for help and strive for righteousness. Music/pictures/movies that are about sex need to be controlled or even eliminated until you find that you have some control over lust. Sorry I just want to give advice and it might sound difficult but I truly believe it will help in the long term.
Be patient, patient and do not expect miraculous changes on the thoughts in your head. Try and learn to live with that "bored/restless" feeling because that nearly always leads to impatience if you start doing drastic things to relieve your boredem. It takes time but is not impossible God Willing.
Also I forgot to add, thoughts in your head are not what is deep inside you. Deep inside you can be righteousness just you have a choice whether to lose your soul or strive to better it.
"In patience posses ye your soul." Luke 2119
Peace
Al -
Peace,
Slow down, slow down o
What you need to do is blockade yourself from anything sexual. I recommend the Sunni method of lowering the gaze, and preventing everything up to that path (Sunni philosophy if X is banned and Y and Z inevitably lead up to it, Y and Z are banned).
On a serious note, I believe there are Quranic verses on this. Time to get digging...
004.025
SHAKIR And whoever among you has not within his power ampleness of means to marry free believing women, then (he may marry) of those whom your right hands possess from among your believing maidens; and Allah knows best your faith you are (sprung) the one from the other; so marry them with the permission of their masters, and give them their dowries justly, they being chaste, not fornicating, nor receiving paramours; and when they are taken in marriage, then if they are guilty of indecency, they shall suffer half the punishment which is (inflicted) upon free women. This is for him among you who fears falling into evil; and that you abstain is better for you, and Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.024.033
SHAKIR And let those who do not find the means to marry keep chaste until Allah makes them free from want out of His grace. And (as for) those who ask for a writing from among those whom your right hands possess, give them the writing if you know any good in them, and give them of the wealth of Allah which He has given you; and do not compel your slave girls to prostitution, when they desire to keep chaste, in order to seek the frail good of this world's life; and whoever compels them, then surely after their compulsion Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.Abstinence is recommended. I suggest fasting, it'll probably get rid of whatever chemical is bugging you too No actual helpful advice from me, I guess.
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Well its just that I dont plan to have sex with girls etc but the only thing is that I want to stop these thoughts of gayness .. In order to relieve myself of thee thoughts, I masturbate .. is that right? Thats why I want a GF so I can get rid of these bad bad thoughts and stop doing these things ..
Btw do you ahve to take a shower after masturbation in order to offer your prayers to Allah? (Random question I know)
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Peace,
Is this serious? Cyrus I recommend you get some courage, some character and some self-discipline. Not having sex does not equal being gay. Get that out of your head. Try reading the Quran, praying and focusing on God and other things. Go feed the poor, go do something that God commands you to do and fix your own mind and heart. Honestly I think what you said was too much information, and to some extents very immodest of you. Maybe it is the company that you keep and the way you entertain yourself that is at the root of the problem. Seek out righteousness and it will seek you out. But if you seek out perversion, it will seek you out as well. My advice, Pray, look for better friends, read the Quran, think on God and think of the root of the perversion in your heart and do your best to correct your heart first. I don't want to degrade your emotional issues but please be more modest and indirect in your speech. I can take alot and have heard alot in my life but I still felt that you were excessive in your explanation of your problem.
Godbless,
Anwar -
Peace
Take a deep breath! Many young people during their teenage years and early adult life ponder about alternative sexuality. Some people think about it once or twice without serious consideration, while others dabble in them for periods of time or even for the rest of their lives. In my opinion a lot of such behaviour is governed by what you view on tv/internet as well what appears to be acceptable or even exciting/new. It's human nature to be curious. However, try to stay away from gay porn and porn in general. What others have said before me about occupying your mind in what is good, will result in purer thoughts and God willing pull you away from what is troubling you. Don't worry too much, it may just be a passing thing if you let it be. Let it be in your control bro.
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Salam.
First of all, rely on The Exalted God The Most Powerful, He can and will protect you if you are serious in staying out of trouble, in this case, being gay, which is a huge sin.
Second we have a matrimony site right here on this forum and you can post an ad, God willing and look for a wife and then you have to be patient but during this patience don't just sit there and wait for a wife from the sky or Russia, pray to The Excalted God The Most Merciful, like me, i prayed for a woman who follows The Quran alone and wants to marry me and The Exalted God The Most Wise gave me just that. AlhamdilAllah.
Third I want you to think about this 780 And Lot, he said to his people "Do you commit lewdness such as none of those of the worlds had done before?"
781 "You come to men with desire instead of women; you are a transgressing people."Take care and may The Exalted God Almighty, The Most Powerful protect you from satan the rejected and guide you to the Straight Path and into Paradise.
Peace.
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Peace and wlecome, Cyrus,
There's a saying
If you want to continue getting what you have, keep doing what you do.
Or something like that ;DAs others have said, you're probably best off picking up some new hobbies and surrounded yourself with positivity. I would take a close, analytical look at how your days are spent and I'm sure you can find all the little rituals that perpetuate what you're "feeling". Keep in mind that our bodies are, essentially, animal. It's up to you to steer yourself in the right direction. The good news is you're aware. Now you just need to pin down the negative triggers and change your behavior. Remember, God helps those who help themselves.
Peace,
Tay -
Peace
yea i m gonna stop looking on the internet for guys etc .. and i hope i get a GF soon!
I'd suggest that you cut back looking on girls too. You sound desperate to engage in some sexual function. Control yourself man! elektro
Try and purify yourself and to walk the straight and narrow, if it is to God that you wish to go.
Joe
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Peace
I'd suggest that you cut back looking on girls too. You sound desperate to engage in some sexual function. Control yourself man! elektro
Try and purify yourself and to walk the straight and narrow, if it is to God that you wish to go.
Joe
Peace. I agree with this. I personally don't feel that checking out girls/getting a girlfriend will solve your problem. It will only divert it instead of reducing sexual thoughts and urges. Give yourself a balanced daily routine. Do some exercise, eat good healthy food and engage your mind in activities which require the use of your intellectual faculties (e.g. reading, writing, discussing etc).
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i think if you're seeking out muscled guys maybe you might like guys... it might be that you like guys and girls, but it seems you like guys for sure... so do you have a problem with it because it's not what you want, or because you think your society has a problem with it? investigate
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Peace,
Listen I know we live in a modern world and many of us aspire to live in a world that tolerates all sorts of non-aggressive behavior no matter how immoral it is. However, let me say first that aberrant sexual behavior, in this case homosexual sex is a sin. Sin is the root of all evils in our lives and it hampers our growth spiritually. Let's follow the Quran here. If you don't follow the Quran well that is on you, however the Quran spells out in the story of Lot how sexual acts with those who aren't our mates (zawj) is a sin and faahishatun, meaning abominable behavior. I believe people have the choice to follow the right path or not in this world, but let's not make the mistake of endorsing or supporting homosexual behavior. Righteousness is often times soemthing we have to aspire to and can be contrary to what our society says is okay, and what society says can be engrained in our minds. On that same token, consentual incest, heterosexual sex out of the bounds of engagement and marriage, and many other acts are also sins, although our society might declare it okay as long as it is ""safe." But let's take this safenss beyond this world. That is what taqwaa is about. It is absolute prudence which takes into consideration this world and the next. There are many sins that you can commit "safely" not exposing yourself to immediate danger, however true prudence takes into account God's wrath as well. You may not catch an STD having "safe" heterosexual or homosexual sex but you are sacrificing your spiritual and life growth when you choose to disobey God and you put yourself in danger in the next life. Coming from the Quran homosexuality in the most extreme case can be a result of mental aberration, however if it is a choice or a habit or something that someone justifies then it is sin.
I can't stress enough that sin leads us down the wrong road even in our earthly lives. We have to look at the growth and success of our souls as well, not just our earthly bodies. Doing what pleases us as long as it doesn't hurt others is the wrong attitude. We have to do what pleases God.
Personally I am not one of those people who thinks that homosexuality is an abberation of nature. I think that in social animals it developed to create and maintain relationships, the same as it does between men and women. Remember sex in social animals has more function than just procreation. However, God is leading us to the best ways to live in this life and in following Him we also lead ourselves to true life in the next life. We can eat "safe" pork and never get sick, but is this why we don't eat pork? We don't eat pork (or any other animal that i forbidden) because we understand that this is what God wants of us (if we have come to believe that the Quran is from God). God knows why he doesn't want us to eat pork, have homosexual sex, or heterosexual sex out of the bounds of marriage and engagement, even if we can't see any earthly benefits for us in our lives. In the very least if we do believe that the Quran is from God then we know that disobeying God leads us down a bad path spiritually that has manifestations in this life and serious consequences in the next one.
Sinning against God is never worth it. If you question whether something is a sin or not, refer it to the Quran because sometimes we have false ideas of what is a sin or not. However, what we know to be sin we should stay away from, remember that God guides our lives and if we disobey him we stunt the development of our spirits and souls in this life and in the next. The experience that you gain from consciously sinning will not outway the negative effects on your growth. How can we dare to think that we know what is better for us than God Himself. Let's get serious, and use our brains here.
Godbless,
Anwar -
Salaam all,
So straight means bisexual?
ok so you know, i used to be afraid of the dark. That was before i always think of God when i was afraid. I think of God when i feel something bad, then the feeling goes away.
Think about God when you got the urges. It will help.
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Peace,
No, straight means heterosexual (men like women and women like men). Bisexual means you like both men and women sexually. And Homosexual well, we all know. Bisexuals engage in both hetersexual and homosexual sexual activities and homosexuals just like same gender sexual activity. Most people who are called or go by the name homosexuals are actually bisexuals, from what I've seen.
Godbless,
Anwar