Salam from Indiana. :3
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Hello bros/sis's! I haven't been on here long (just the past 5 hours!), but already I feel a need to step forward and nudge my feet just a little bit further into the door of Islam.
My path to Islam is slightly complicated and difficult. I am still experiencing my jihad as I type this, and it's a hard struggle, let me tell you!
I come from a multi-ethnic family; my father is black, and my mother is from Samoa. My father is a bit of an agnostic he believes all organized religion to be vehicles for those who preach it to gain some monetary/political benefit from it. My mother has been a Protestant all her life, but does not regularly go to church. I was told semi-regularly the sorts of things Christian parents tell their children(say grace before you eat, God loves everyone, pray to Him if you need something), but things such as going to church and wearing one's faith on their sleeve had always taken a backseat to working and household responsibilities my parents were always busy, and usually too tired to attend church. (We did occasionally, but honestly, I hated doing it. I didn't understand the sermons, lol.) I read a childrens bible incessantly (it mainly focused on the terrors of the Old Testament, for some reason) until I was about nine years old.
Like many others on this site, I had a hard time understanding the concept of Jesus dying for our sins. I didn't understand why the pastors made such a big deal out of it, nor why it should matter so much. I was a child; I hadn't committed any sins yet. I continuously asked my mom and others the following question Is Jesus God or is Jesus God's son? Most of the time, the answer would be that they're one in the same, but I did not understand how that was possible. These things vexed me, but honestly, Christianity played a relatively minute role in my life when I practiced it.
When I was eleven years old, I left Christianity. I became upset with how gays are treated in accordance to Christian doctrine I had never been raised with the idea or feeling that homosexuals were any different than regular people. This issue bothered me so much that I began my search for different faiths; the first being Wicca. gasp gasp! Wicca was enlightening and fun; it helped me through a hard time in school, but it bothered my family so much that I felt terrible and ceased practicing. (Nowadays, I find it too disorganized and too high maintenance to even bother.) Around this time, I hung out with a 9-member Muslim family in my neighborhood. They invited me a lot to watch them make Salat, which I was fascinated by. I remember always asking them questions about their religion, and never being put off by it. (except that the father practiced polygamy, which I now view with indifference)
I wandered religious-free for about six or seven years. In that time, I managed to make a huge mess of myself by (let's just say) acting 'immodestly,' and living in a way that only sated my own selfish, short-sighted needs. Islam has came and gone from my life several times. Recently, I read somewhere that people get a 'call' to Islam at least once in their life. I don't know if that's true or not, but this is the third time, and the call is pretty darned powerful.
I haven't said my Shahadah yet, but I plan to this week. Honestly, I'm afraid. I came to this site because there are some personal beliefs that I don't know I can disbelieve, even if I really wanted to (such as the issue with harsh condemnation of homosexuals, prayer during menstruation, etc), and I wanted to see if these are just man-made laws that people who wanted control over others created in the name of Islam. I'm excited that I'm not the only person who find the hadith to be silly, ritualized and very culturally specific, but I fear going to the Mosque and exposing myself to other Muslims. I am afraid of being judged by them. I have worn the hijab outside for the past 32 days, and yet I'm afraid that if I do something that Sunni/Shia Muslims see as haram (smoke a cigarette, listen to music, wear a lovely hijab, have a drink with my husband) that I will be reprimanded. I am also afraid that (like a sister on this site) the person that presides over my Shahadah will tell me that I must divorce my husband or something.
I haven't yet figured out how to overcome these obstacles yet, but I have no intention of letting it stand in the way of my path to God Alone.
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Salam Servetolive,
Find a shahadah facility which serves YOUR needs, if one exists. Don't try to join a particular community and change it to becoming more liberal. It ain't gonna happen. Sorry to be the harbinger of bad news but there it is.
Of course, there's also the option of keeping your faith to yourself. All depends on what you seek from a faith.
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Welcome to the forum.
According to The Quran there is no official "testimony of faith" that has to be said to someone or a cleric, but if that is what you want to do, it is up to you.
You might find these sites helpful
www.StudyQuran.org
www.Learn-About-Islam.com -
Welcome Servetolive. Take alook around and get familiar with God alone Islam and you will se its not as burdensome as the traditional hadith following Islamic practices.
Thanks
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Welcome, welcome!
You can read about the shahada, homosexuality and bunch of other stuff here www.misconceptions-about-islam.com
And if there is anything you need to know then feel free to ask.
peace
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welcome, sister!
The way you write, i don't even have to worry about your situation, especially since you stated this
I haven't yet figured out how to overcome these obstacles yet, but I have no intention of letting it stand in the way of my path to God Alone.
You've got strong spirit there!
So my only concern is this
..., but I fear going to the Mosque and exposing myself to other Muslims. I am afraid of being judged by them. I have worn the hijab outside for the past 32 days, and yet I'm afraid that if I do something that Sunni/Shia Muslims see as haram (smoke a cigarette, listen to music, wear a lovely hijab, have a drink with my husband) that I will be reprimanded. I am also afraid that (like a sister on this site) the person that presides over my Shahadah will tell me that I must divorce my husband or something.
Four times you've said "fear/afraid", which kinda set the whole mood of the paragraph. Please think about this relationship between you (with your family) and this "other" group that you are about to join. Address these fears carefully. Will this group of people that you are about to join in, be able to help you lead a better, more peaceful life, or not?
By now it should have been clear, that as per AQ, there is nothing such as an "official/formal procession/ritual" of bearing witness, that one must proceed through in order to become a believer in Allah and Al-Qur'aan.
So happy reading those links given above and happy perusing this forum, take patience indeed )
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if you want to complicate and make your life difficult, listen to people and follow the hadiths. If you want to make your life easier, have peace (islam) within yourself and around you then listen to God. you have been given the free-will, the brain, the senses - the choice is yours to make.
do you believe in God and the Last Day, and not associate any person or thing to God? if the answer is yes, you have already taken your shahada. congrats!
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Welcome handshake
Well servetolive im the sister who was told my marriage was no longer valid on the day of my shahada...........and do you know what im still with my wonderful hubby...still muslim and more importantly thank god that i met that crazy women in the mosque because my questioning of her evidence for such a silly remark brought me to know that God alone is the judge and no persons opinion or view of me or how I did shahada really matters .....what matters is that you are true to God
May you be guided by the site. God made his system easy for us so my advice is take a step back ........relax..........and just enjoy God, his book and what he means to you .....let all the worry and fear of ritual and culture/dress/shahada etc go out the window and enjoy reading the articles/posts on the site. group
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Salaam sister! sun
I liked your story, and relate to many of the things you write.
You mention being called to Islam three times. I have a similar background, praise God. I would like to read about your experiences, if you feel like sharing.I also agree with some of your father's views on hypocrite evangelical preachers, but that's an entirely different matter.
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welcome to the best forum in the whole world
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if you want to complicate and make your life difficult, listen to people and follow the hadiths. If you want to make your life easier, have peace (islam) within yourself and around you then listen to God. you have been given the free-will, the brain, the senses - the choice is yours to make.
do you believe in God and the Last Day, and not associate any person or thing to God? if the answer is yes, you have already taken your shahada. congrats!
Salaam.
Respectfully.yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes
My point exactly!12111 In their stories is a lesson for those who possess intelligence. It is not a narration that has been invented, but an authentication of what is between his hands and a detailing of all things, and a guidance and a mercy for a people who believe.
352 Whatever mercy God opens for the people, none can stop it. And what He holds back none can send it other than He. And He is the Noble, the Wise.
Trust me, you don't wanna read certain hadeeth ....
May God The AllMighty, The Most Merciful protect us from all evil.
May God increase us in knowledge and guide us The Straight Path.
Glory be to God.
Peace. group -
Hello Servetolive,
Welcome!
Your post here is more than enough of a testimony of faith (shahadah). Sharing this matter with your loving husband and the nearest and dearest is only natural if you feel comfortable enough telling. They are the only people you might need their support. If I were you, I would stay far and away from any ritualistic "muslim" community. And if I might add, forget about the hijab. It only complicates things when you are living in a non-"muslim" place. Just be yourself peace
All the best. sun
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Thanks everyone for your encouraging comments! I'm still puttering along; my newfound interest in religion (specifically Islam) has confounded my family, but really, I could care less. (If they would stop annoying me about it, that'd be great, though. u_u)
One bro/sis commented about the hijab, saying that I shouldn't wear it because it complicates things.
You are right; it does, and it has. However, I've worn it for almost three months straight now, and it's done wonders for my confidence/comfort. You see, part of why I turned to Islam had to do with how I presented myself prior to. I dressed in very revealing clothes specifically to get attention I felt like it was the only good quality I had to offer, which is, looking back at it, the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Now that I have a daughter that I want to set a good example for, I began wearing the hijab, and it feels great. Don't get me wrong I do wear vibrant scarves, somewhat stylish clothes (everything I wear comes from DC shoes >_> and I don't wear jilbaabs and I do wear makeup (I have to work; I can't go to work looking like crap, or looking like I'm in pajamas if you'll allow me to be honest.)
The unfortunate part of that is that I can't go out and have one little drink with my friends and I can't do anything that's seen as 'un-islamic,' since everyone will judge me by the hadiths or what they think they know about Islam. For example, my husband is very touchy feely and dislikes my change of attitude and tries to kiss me/caress me/etc in public. ... actually, even without the hijab, it's pretty annoying, but with the added Islamic modesty, I feel ten times more uncomfortable, and like everyone is watching me and judging me. Everyone thinks i should just not wear it, but it's so hard for me to part with it. (Unless I'm in uniform, in which case I have chosen not to wear the hijab for certain reasons but that's another story....)
Anyway, Inshallah, I shall start my prayers this week. I visited an indoor swimming resort for the holidays and had the encouragement of seeing many Muslim families enjoying themselves. (Note I de-veiled for this and bought a traditional swimsuit. I hated it. >.<
I hope everyone enjoyed their winter break. )
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Hey Serve search Mutazilah ... It was the first Quran only, unaffiliated to dogma or tradition, purely philosophical and spiritual path that emerged during the early period of Islam.
