POLYGAMY NOT THERE IN QURAN?
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I think there is a question of will and determination here. If you marry there must be a determination and firm will that no matter what, you are not free to marry, since you are already married. You may be free to unmarry if in fact the marriage, by itself is damaging those involved, foremost the children, because they are the parents responsibility. They are unswerable for them. And if they are children or adolescents, it is preposterous to come and say that the parents also have rights. The fact that the parents have rights doesn't make children or adolescents less vulnerable to the inconsistencies of their parents, who married forever and may want to marry forever one more time. And the unforeverness may come from the impossibility of upholding a rotten relationship, but there is no justification for termination because you have just discovered a much better relationship. Following that course there would be no marriage which could hold. There are always much better "offers". And the falling in love thing is about the oldest trick in the book. The question is that many of us go through stories of unrequited love when we are unmarried and survive without disrupting our bachelorhood, however we may suffer, but once we marry then we canot survive un unrequited love? Or we say to ourselves that why should we?
I won't answer for everybody, but from what I see it is that we simply manage to convince ourselves that in fact it is better for everybody if we just live our love and stay friends. Of course that is the last error. The first one is to allow oneself to "fall in love" when one knows perfectly well that one does not have the right to fall in love except with one's spouse. And, come on, it is not as if we were in a lonely island with just a stranger man or woman and no way out of it.So there are several things
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There aren't enough men to go around for every woman. In that case, let us have statistics and find out what would people prefer or find themselves capable of as a solution.
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In fact there are enough men to go around, but still these problems crop up. For this there is no solution except keep one's word and stick to the pacts one makes. The rest is plain failure, which of course is human, but there is no need to give it another name. We certainly have to live with failure, repent if we are capable, forgive if we are capable and and carry on anyway we can, and try always to do our best. May be when we are old we may have learnt something and be capable of more repentance and more forgiveness, God loves people who repent and people who forgive.
Salaam
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Salaams Samia,
At least we know your story now and why you react with reckless illogical conclusions by stretching meanings and ignoring others. May Allah give you peace for the heartache you have endured in your married/unmarried life.
Salaams
Salaam Farida
So you think that if A was firm and told C he did not have to have either B or C this would have deterred her and so the problem would have been resolved? What if it did not deterr her? I also know of a true story, same elements. A and B had a love marriage and two daughters, C came into the picture, an intelligent beautiful woman. (I think it was the "beautiful" factor that attracted the husband, since B was also an intelligent working woman). B did not want to break up the marriage, nor did C But who asked the daughters? It was them who boycotted their father without being disrespectful. They just turned cold and stopped sharing their life with him. He was almost crazy 'cause he did not do any calculations for that. He divorced his new love, but for the girls it was too late. B sided her daughters who lost their father to the second wife and did not accept him back. The man is living like a stranger in his own house. Either this or he leaves and starts anew. He became like the person God advises us not be like, "And be not like the one who undoes the threads which she has spun, after it has become strong, by taking your oaths as a means of deception among yourselves..." 1692.
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Absolutely zero influence. I think they were protesting for their own sake.
The story continues on. C met another married man. His wife called her on the phone to confirm to her that she welcomed her husband marriage to her. I had a firy discussion with C trying to stop her, and that the wife's acceptance does not guarantee the kids'. A and C got married. A's son (a university student) had a psychological break down, kept coming to his dad's office everyday, shouting and crying. One month later, the father divorced C.Sounds like "B" is deluding herself again if she feels she had ZERO influence on her daughters. As is also evident here
. B sided her daughters who lost their father to the second wife and did not accept him back. The man is living like a stranger in his own house. Either this or he leaves and starts anew.
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Salaams Samia,
At least we know your story now and why you react with reckless illogical conclusions by stretching meanings and ignoring others. May Allah give you peace for the heartache you have endured in your married/unmarried life.
Salaams
Is this post in agreement with the forum rules? I find it disgusting, repulsive and inadmissible.
Samia is a respected person and moderator, it is indeed very gallant of her to let some leeway in things where she is personally mentioned, but it is no good for other forum members who may feel at the same time bound by the rules and gagged in the face of attacks of this kind.
I humbly request that action be taken against this personal attack and that no personal unrequested mentions of this kind stay posted in the forum.
This otherpeoplesbusinessminding (not to speak of other even more disgusting things) is precisely something the the qur'an tells conclusively not to do.
Salaam
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I don't find praying for someone to receive peace from Allah as offensive. People who post their personal information on here should expect it to be responded to. But sounds like you have some similar problems in your life. May Allah send you peace and reconciliation with your mind as well, you seem to need it. pr
And stop begging others to fight for you! jedi I find that disgusting, repulsive and inadmissible. elektro
Is this post in agreement with the forum rules? I find it disgusting, repulsive and inadmissible.
Samia is a respected person and moderator, it is indeed very gallant of her to let some leeway in things where she is personally mentioned, but it is no good for other forum members who may feel at the same time bound by the rules and gagged in the face of attacks of this kind.
I humbly request that action be taken against this personal attack and that no personal unrequested mentions of this kind stay posted in the forum.
This otherpeoplesbusinessminding (not to speak of other even more disgusting things) is precisely something the the qur'an tells conclusively not to do.
Salaam
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Salaam huruf
I appreciate your concern, but don't worry. I am not offended. IQO hardly understands anything, and this is something I know from conversing with him on this forum. In fact I do not know how he concluded that this story concerns me in anyway more than I know B. I was telling a story anological to that told by Farida. Did he or anyone else conclude that it was Farida's personal story? Blame it on the (Samiaphobia syndrome).
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Blame huruf's concern on ImamQuranOnlyphobia syndrome. O0 yes voodoo
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Salaam huruf
I appreciate your concern, but don't worry. I am not offended. IQO hardly understands anything, and this is something I know from conversing with him on this forum. In fact I do not know how he concluded that this story concerns me in anyway more than I know B. I was telling a story anological to that told by Farida. Did he or anyone else conclude that it was Farida's personal story? Blame it on the (Samiaphobia syndrome).
I only noticed that you said you had a conversation with 'C', from that I knew it was a close relationship....
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Salaams Samia,
At least we know your story now and why you react with reckless illogical conclusions by stretching meanings and ignoring others. May Allah give you peace for the heartache you have endured in your married/unmarried life.
Salaams
Salaam IMQ
How rude. I thought you believed in respecting and being respected. If you follow the Quran you need, also to abide by those commandments, which warn us not to say that of which we have no knowledge i.e. do not speculate.
Like me Samia gave a real life example, and making it personal will only deter us from learning from real life issues.
Remember Those are worthy of respect who, when they realise that they have harmed others, apologise and refrain from such conjecture in the future.peace
farida -
Salaam farida,
Sorry, I don't find it rude at all. Maybe you should read it again. If you think assuming something is regarding a person is rude, then I don't know what to tell you. She gave ample clues to someone like me that knows a little bit about her that it could very well be her own personal situation. She commented and said it wasn't. Those who know her personally, her and Allah all know whether or not that comment was true or not. So I have no intention to apologize. I have said many times before that people should leave their personal situations off of this forum when trying to understand Al Quran. But if you put it out there, then it's up to be commented on. Personal situations never prove or disprove anything from Al Quran.
As Salaamu Alaikum, peace
Salaam IMQ
How rude. I thought you believed in respecting and being respected. If you follow the Quran you need, also to abide by those commandments, which warn us not to say that of which we have no knowledge i.e. do not speculate.
Like me Samia gave a real life example, and making it personal will only deter us from learning from real life issues.
Remember Those are worthy of respect who, when they realise that they have harmed others, apologise and refrain from such conjecture in the future.peace
farida -
Salaam farida,
Sorry, I don't find it rude at all. Maybe you should read it again. If you think assuming something is regarding a person is rude, then I don't know what to tell you. She gave ample clues to someone like me that knows a little bit about her that it could very well be her own personal situation. She commented and said it wasn't. Those who know her personally, her and Allah all know whether or not that comment was true or not. So I have no intention to apologize. I have said many times before that people should leave their personal situations off of this forum when trying to understand Al Quran. But if you put it out there, then it's up to be commented on. Personal situations never prove or disprove anything from Al Quran.
As Salaamu Alaikum, peace
Salaam IMQ
It is entirely up to you if you wish to apologise or not, as I am not answerable for you. But reading Samia story I did not see anything personal in it except that she advices C. I myself have some real life example to share just because I dealt with some matrimonial issues, does that make them my story?Salaam
farida -
Salaams farida,
I don't know anything about you, so did I mention to you that your story sounded about you or true? What I said to Samia was to her for reasons that I know of. Didn't you read her comments to huruf? Maybe you should just take her advice since it doesn't bother her.
Salaam,
IQOSalaam IMQ
It is entirely up to you if you wish to apologise or not, as I am not answerable for you. But reading Samia story I did not see anything personal in it except that she advices C. I myself have some real life example to share just because I dealt with some matrimonial issues, does that make them my story?Salaam
farida -
Salaams farida,
I don't know anything about you, so did I mention to you that your story sounded about you or true? What I said to Samia was to her for reasons that I know of. Didn't you read her comments to huruf? Maybe you should just take her advice since it doesn't bother her.
Salaam,
IQOSalaam
Maybe I had higher expectatins of free minders but on the suggestion of taking advice I happen to be from legal profession where we normally give the advice. elektro
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Salaam
Maybe I had higher expectatins of free minders but on the suggestion of taking advice I happen to be from legal profession where we normally give the advice. elektro
Salaams farida,
By the way, Im not a "free minder". I am a muslim that follows Al Quran alone as a divine scripture of guidance, sent and protected by Allah.
As Salaamu Alaikum, angel
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Salaams farida,
By the way, Im not a "free minder". I am a muslim that follows Al Quran alone as a divine scripture of guidance, sent and protected by Allah.
As Salaamu Alaikum,
We all kinda figured that... you certainly are showing your true colors now... >
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Seems like something is really wrong with you if you figure what I said is in any way negative. Maybe you, and some like you, have taken this forum as your divine guidance and only use Al Quran as a back drop. Seems like these are your "hadith" that you worship.
You actually seem to suggest that you are proud to be a "FREE MINDER" instead of a follower of Al Quran alone as divine scripture sent for guidance by Allah! o Go figure. confused So we definitely know who you are and what you stand for now Mr. Free Minder! whatever
We all kinda figured that... you certainly are showing your true colors now... >
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The rule of the arabic sentence construction (whether classical or colloquial) is that the adjective should conform to the gender of the noun it describes. Yataama is a masculine plural, therefore the construction cannot be that of noun-adjective. We are left with the only other relation between the two nouns possessiveness (X of Y) orphans of women.
Dear Samia
Quran came first then grammar was invented as per your opinion.But now you are taking the support of that grammar.Samia said
Heading The Quran grammatical errors
date Nov 24
Reply No 7'I read other explanations which emanate from Zamakhshari. It says that it's "laakin" not "laakinna", and hence its function stops. Just like "inn haathaani lasaahiraani", which is not "inna".
As for the former verse, we are still left with "muqimiina" being the "odd" one, as in your post.
This "justification" creates yet another problem according to grammarians "laakin" and "inn" should not be followed by a nominal sentence!!The problem with grammarians is that they invented rules and then tried to fit the quraan into them.
What is the standard of grammar being correct or wrong?
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God does not love the Arrogant....
And you seem to love "free minders" more than Al Quran...I wonder if God considers that arrogant? hmm