Adoption
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Can someone please explain to me why Islam bans adoption? Really why would it ban something so beautiful?
I read once that it is a "sexual" issue. So for example, if a woman adopts a son and that son grows up then since he is not biologically hers then she can't be alone with him in the house and stuff like that. But I find all these reasons laughable, simply because if a woman raises her child whether he is biological or not, he will end up thinking of her as a mother. And how could a child ever be attracted to their mother? It's a very sick way of thinking in my opinion.
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Peace,
The only restriction I see is to name them by their father's names.334 God did not make any man with two hearts in his body. Nor did He make your wives whom you make estranged to be as your mothers. Nor did He make your adopted children to be your sons. Such is what you claim with your mouths, but God speaks the truth, and He guides to the path.
335 Name them by retaining their fathers` names. That is more just with God. But if you do not know their fathers, then, name them as your brothers in the system and your patrons. There is no sin upon you if you make a mistake in this respect; but you will be responsible for what your hearts deliberately intend. God is Forgiver, Merciful. -
Peace,
The only restriction I see is to name them by their father's names.334 God did not make any man with two hearts in his body. Nor did He make your wives whom you make estranged to be as your mothers. Nor did He make your adopted children to be your sons. Such is what you claim with your mouths, but God speaks the truth, and He guides to the path.
335 Name them by retaining their fathers` names. That is more just with God. But if you do not know their fathers, then, name them as your brothers in the system and your patrons. There is no sin upon you if you make a mistake in this respect; but you will be responsible for what your hearts deliberately intend. God is Forgiver, Merciful.So does that mean that a woman can be uncovered infront of her adopted son? I don't believe in the veil, but I mean, you know humble decent clothes? Not the usual shorts that she might otherwise wear around the house?
Also, if Islam doesn't ban adoption, why do you think the Muslim world is so averse to it?
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So does that mean that a woman can be uncovered infront of her adopted son? I don't believe in the veil, but I mean, you know humble decent clothes? Not the usual shorts that she might otherwise wear around the house?
Also, if Islam doesn't ban adoption, why do you think the Muslim world is so averse to it?
The verse says God looks at your intentions. Communicate with others who have adopted children about the issue you raised. I guess do what you think your inner good tells you. Obviously adoption may raise issues especially regarding father/daughter relationship but it is not something that is black and white. If the child adopted was very young when adopted he probably sees his adopted parents like any child sees their parents. But you should speak with those who have experience in this.
The rest of the "Muslim" world follow the teachings of their respective sects. These sects like Sunni/Shia sects rely on oral traditions(hadiths) each claim is from the prophet and each claim the other oral traditions are false and fabricated. Some of it is similar to the Koran but many are very different and often even contradicts the Koran.
The two verses aalmakto quoted are very good guidelines. The reason why the Koran says do not name them accept by their fathers because it is the simple TRUTH. It does not mean you can not adopt, and the Koran says even if you do not know who the real father is you can still adopt them. Listen to your conscous.
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The verse says God looks at your intentions. Communicate with others who have adopted children about the issue you raised. I guess do what you think your inner good tells you. Obviously adoption may raise issues especially regarding father/daughter relationship but it is not something that is black and white. If the child adopted was very young when adopted he probably sees his adopted parents like any child sees their parents. But you should speak with those who have experience in this.
The rest of the "Muslim" world follow the teachings of their respective sects. These sects like Sunni/Shia sects rely on oral traditions(hadiths) each claim is from the prophet and each claim the other oral traditions are false and fabricated. Some of it is similar to the Koran but many are very different and often even contradicts the Koran.
The two verses aalmakto quoted are very good guidelines. The reason why the Koran says do not name them accept by their fathers because it is the simple TRUTH. It does not mean you can not adopt, and the Koran says even if you do not know who the real father is you can still adopt them. Listen to your conscous.
What you say is very interesting Bigmo, thanks for the clarification.
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Hope, could you please clarify some of the problems that adoption might raise later in life? I'm curious.
Peace
Let me start by saying that i am not antagonising adoption, i am just highlightening some potential problems that might happen or might not happen, no gurantee.It is a fact that the adopted parents are not the real parents and the adopted child is not a real son or daughtar.
and it is a fact also that they are all human being liable to change in emotions.one of the problems is the daughter- father relationship especilaay after puberty, the girl herself knowing he is not her real father may feel embarresed from him, in a way that she may not feel free at home, may be she won't accept the usual father behaviour like hugging or even batting on her shoulder,.........etc, the same apply to a boy toward his adopted mother, this will make life v difficult.
Usually couple who think of adoption has no children of their own, wht if they have one of their own after adoption? and what if it happen to be of the opposite gender, they may not consider themselve brother/sister, how can they live under the same roof especiallly after puberty.
another thing, one of the main reason for a couple to adopt a child is to bring them joy and happiness, what if this child was a sort of trouble in a way or another, whould they tolerate him? feelings do change.
These were some examples of many other potential risks.regarding the islamic point of view.
God gave examples for prophets who had no child for a long time, zakaria and ibrahim, they could have adopted a child, , there is no mention of that.
God orders us to take care of orphans, cheirsh them, be humble and kind to them, save their money, support them financialy and psychologically, but he never mention adopting them as far as i can recall.still i think, a single female can adopt a girl child , a single male can adopt a male child.
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Peace
Let me start by saying that i am not antagonising adoption, i am just highlightening some potential problems that might happen or might not happen, no gurantee.It is a fact that the adopted parents are not the real parents and the adopted child is not a real son or daughtar.
and it is a fact also that they are all human being liable to change in emotions.one of the problems is the daughter- father relationship especilaay after puberty, the girl herself knowing he is not her real father may feel embarresed from him, in a way that she may not feel free at home, may be she won't accept the usual father behaviour like hugging or even batting on her shoulder,.........etc, the same apply to a boy toward his adopted mother, this will make life v difficult.
Usually couple who think of adoption has no children of their own, wht if they have one of their own after adoption? and what if it happen to be of the opposite gender, they may not consider themselve brother/sister, how can they live under the same roof especiallly after puberty.
another thing, one of the main reason for a couple to adopt a child is to bring them joy and happiness, what if this child was a sort of trouble in a way or another, whould they tolerate him? feelings do change.
These were some examples of many other potential risks.regarding the islamic point of view.
God gave examples for prophets who had no child for a long time, zakaria and ibrahim, they could have adopted a child, , there is no mention of that.
God orders us to take care of orphans, cheirsh them, be humble and kind to them, save their money, support them financialy and psychologically, but he never mention adopting them as far as i can recall.still i think, a single female can adopt a girl child , a single male can adopt a male child.
Your points are interesting. But I want to make one ramark regarding the father/daughter and mother/son relationship. How could a child develop any sexual feelings or even be embarrased from someone who has raised them and was always there as a mother or father figure? I mean for example, my aunt's husband was like a father to me. He was always around when I was a child and I remember he used to take me and my cousins to the beach when we were children and the amusement park etc. When I was 23, I had to move in with him and my aunt and cousins for several reasons. I lived with that family for two years and even though I was a grown woman, I never ever felt anything sexual towards him. I mean it didn't even cross my mind, he was just like a dad, someone who used to play with me as a child. And while I lived there, he treated me the way he treated his daughters.
As you said there is no guarantee. But for the life of me I just can't imagine that a child can develop sexual feelings for a parent just because they happen to be not the biological parents. It's just weird and against human nature.
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How could a child develop any sexual feelings or even be embarrased from someone who has raised them and was always there as a mother or father figure?
Peace
I didn't mention mere sexual feeling , although it could happen , i meant feelings of discomfort and not being at ease.I mean for example, my aunt's husband was like a father to me. He was always around when I was a child and I remember he used to take me and my cousins to the beach when we were children and the amusement park etc. When I was 23, I had to move in with him and my aunt and cousins for several reasons. I lived with that family for two years and even though I was a grown woman, I never ever felt anything sexual towards him. I mean it didn't even cross my mind, he was just like a dad, someone who used to play with me as a child. And while I lived there, he treated me the way he treated his daughters.
I think your mentioned story is irrelevant, i can't compare it to adoption, your aunt husband is a real relative to you, he is a part of your real family, so it is very normal the way you both feel and behave toward each others.
As you said there is no guarantee. But for the life of me I just can't imagine that a child can develop sexual feelings for a parent just because they happen to be not the biological parents. It's just weird and against human nature.
Again, i didnt mention sexual feelings, let say feelings of embarresment, discomfort ad not being at ease, and i believe these are not weired or aganist human nature.
peace
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I wonder wether it would be a good thing to tell an adopted child very early on that they were adopted.
That could possiblly prevent problems in the future (emotional) for both the parents and the adopted child. Even it the adopted child grows up to be a great person, it could still upset them to know that they were adopted.
Peace
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I think adoption is just fine. In fact, my belief is that ideally people should not have children of their own and instead just adopt. I dont find it fair that there are (probably) millions of children without parents (or without parents who can support them) and instead of taking care of them we are just having more. This doesn't apply to everyone, of course
So far from being wrong I think adoption is the right thing to do for a lot of people.