my journey to islam and quran
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Hi All/Salamvalekum,
Iam Pavani from India,my story is very long so please bear with me.i was born and brought up in a liberal hindu family,my mom and dad always preached me that all relegions preach peace and all pray to one god but with different names.they also taught me to treat everyone equally.i had christian and muslim friends form my childhood.on Eid our table used to be filled with all the delecious food from muslim families.so i was actually a very liberal and receptive person to all relegions.All that was culture of india where we care and share with our neighbours but my actual introduction to real islam was through my husband.He is from a muslim family,but doesn't fit into a typical muslim personality.we were frineds for 3 years and then we realised that we want to be married for life.Then he was moving to Australia for his further education.we both were 20-22 then,so we decided to keep in touch through mails and phones.After moving to Australia my husband became a practicing muslim partly because he was all alone facing the difficulties of life struggling for his career,supporting the family in india,and partly because he was sharing room with the other practicing muslims .after 2 years he came to india on a holiday and one day he said he can not marry me if i dont convert to islam,as it is forbidden in islam to marry a non-muslim girl unless she converts.that was the frist shock of my life,because i thought he will never ask me to change my faith though everyone around me told that muslims usually convert the people during marriage and girl eventually have to do hijab/parda and she has to follow their faith.I knew that traditionally indian woman adopt the culture of the husband,but times are changing,so i was thinking that may be i have to do that for society but he will never aks me to change my faith.I was hurt and my hatred for islam started,i felt people usually can be mean,but how a relegion can be mean?so i felt i can not change my faith for the sake of a guy,so we both decided that we will breakup.he went back to australia and i have finished my MBA so i was trying to find a job.both got busy in our lives and tried to forget each other,partly we were succesful also ,but i think we both strongly wanted each other in our lives becasue we both found each other very good human beings.so when he came back after an year he requested me to reconsider my decision.i then started my research and soon learnt to do salat also,actually now i know that whatever i was doing then was to have him in my life at any cost and knew nothing about real islam.so it was more outer than inner change.i finally came to terms that i have to sacrifice my name and my identity(as i have to take off "bindi"a kind of redcolour dot we hindu woman wear on forhead from our childhood)if i want him in my life.Finally we got married,my family was not happy with my decision but they let it go coz they love me so much.there was not much opposition from his family.we moved to Australia after marriage.Now the reality of life started.
My husband was expecting me to be a very devout muslim doing my all prayers on time,though he was not practicing that himself.i was under pressure to prove myself.but how is it possible when the change he saw in me was result of a compromise.he was growing imaptient.I used to open Quran ,read few chapters,get frightened ,as most of the verses say unbelievers will go to hell.and my understanding of unbeleivers then was anyone other than muslims,muslims in the sense with an arabic name,basically from a muslim family.so i was constantly in fear of my parents and family's destiny and i felt it was gross injutice becasue i know they are really nice people,so i completely stopped reading quran.i used to browse all islamic sites and they used to usually qoute a lot of hadith, i read many of them and my hatred for muslims increased as hadiths are full of voilence,sex and rape with kaffir woman legal.being a woman i could not digest the fact that a woman can be treated so badly if she happend to be a kafir and it is not only legal but also encouraged in islam.i started regretting my decision of getting in to islam.i asked my husband couple of times about the hadiths related to kafir woman treatment ,We ended up in big fights as he took it as an offence to question anything related to islam.He beleives in hadith and sunnah strongly.So he said he will divorce me and said a polythiest will alwyas be a polythiest and can never become muslim.for the fear of that i stopped asking him questions and kept quiet.this continued for a lot of times and i used to cry and ask god for a solution to my problem.after so many days of going through this finally i ended up one day on quran only site which was a sister site of code 19 people.i was happy to find that but soon disappointed when i came to know about few things that did not go well with my reasoning.then i saw free minds also but even without reading it completely i thought this is also the site of the same poeple.so i stopped searching for islam on the net.but somehow i still believed that quran only is the best solution.and kept praying for guidence.
Everytime before ,i used to read quran from chapter 1 and once i get to the chapter4 -woman; i never went beyond.just stuck there thinking why god was only biased towards men?but last year Ramadan was the time which changed me completely i read Quran from last chapter 114.and as i read each chapter i believed them without question.then slowly in a span of days i have finished reading Quran and whenver i felt stuck i browsed on this site and found the answers,when i couldn't find them here i prayed and God answered.so from then my spiritual journey is a bliss except my husband opposition to this belief of quran only.recently he said unless he get few things clarified he will not have kids with me as he fears i will drive them out of islam he also said that he will think about our future together if things doesnt go fine.I just keep praying for the best. i dont want to lose this man who is a real nice human being,helpful,charitable but liitle agressive and orthodox.
Sorry for boring you all with my very very long story.
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I just keep praying for the best. i dont want to lose this man who is a real nice human being,helpful,charitable but liitle agressive and orthodox.
Peace sister,
Personnally I think that what's between u and ur husband goes beyond any religion,
u said u have overcomed lot of difficulties in order to get married ...
It's obvious that u r both in love with each other,
and I believe that love is enough for u both in order to continue ...
U don't have to lose ur husband, but still u know very well that ur life could be hard
with him being a hardliner orthodox ...
That's why u need to be very wise, and u can be so cose anybody can be it.
Ask GOD for patience and guidance, be flexible with him, try not to argue a lot about
serious points of divergence in religion between u and him, and concentrate on ur
mutual love that gathered u together even from different native religions ...
And finally u need to be aware that "Islam" or "Submission to GOD" is beyond religion,
it's simply about the best system of life ...
So being a submitter means in this world to submit oneself to GOD and tend to perfection ...
That all means u need to be a better person and always try to do the right choices.
And if u love ur husband u will know what is the right choice here.Hope GOD guide u in all ur life so u would find happiness and joy
Ali
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Your love for your husband and your devotion to your Craetor will lead both you to happiness.Keep reading this site and encourage your husband to view it too so he could help you understand. You may even ask him honestly to explain things here with an open mind as you are relatively new to it all.Also review yet another translation on line at www.ourbeacon.com and look at QXPiv section in it which has drop down menu for all chapters, and try to read it cover to cover along with your husband and ask him to keep comparing it with any translation you might have and both of you will grow closer to your Rab and find inner peace. None of them are perfect, but reading in this manner leads to a better understanding and more peace.
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No offense but couldnt you find a better Hindu man?
Hi,
Thanks for your response,and iam not offended at all.Actually what i feel is we cant say why we fall in love,how we chose a person,it just happens,and then becomes our weakness.I might have got a better Hindu man for sure but i felt i will be very happy in the company of a perosn whom i love.By the way except in the matters of relegion he is quite a nice person,very very caring.But when he is angry its like he cant control himself,but i think love is all about tolerating a person even when he is at his worst....... -
Peace sister,
Personnally I think that what's between u and ur husband goes beyond any religion,
u said u have overcomed lot of difficulties in order to get married ...
It's obvious that u r both in love with each other,
and I believe that love is enough for u both in order to continue ...
U don't have to lose ur husband, but still u know very well that ur life could be hard
with him being a hardliner orthodox ...
That's why u need to be very wise, and u can be so cose anybody can be it.
Ask GOD for patience and guidance, be flexible with him, try not to argue a lot about
serious points of divergence in religion between u and him, and concentrate on ur
mutual love that gathered u together even from different native religions ...
And finally u need to be aware that "Islam" or "Submission to GOD" is beyond religion,
it's simply about the best system of life ...
So being a submitter means in this world to submit oneself to GOD and tend to perfection ...
That all means u need to be a better person and always try to do the right choices.
And if u love ur husband u will know what is the right choice here.Hope GOD guide u in all ur life so u would find happiness and joy
Ali
Peace Brother Ali handshake,
Thank you very much for your input,whatever you said is very true,actually you know, it was relegion from the begining which was the cause of problems between us,otherwise we both are very happy with our choice and our lives,I stopped asking him questions because i know very well that he doesn't know answers for them and is frustrated when i question those beliefs.He usually goes and asks the same questions to other muslims in his friend circle.And they usually say "where the hell she is getting this info from,ask her to not to browse internet,moreover she is new to islam so you should take her to some learnt people in islam".Slowly instead of talking or arguing with him on this matters i started posting him emails with information and proper evidence to support, giving him sometime to think about it.I guess he has changed a little bit but not much.But i know he will open up oneday,because our goal is same but presently the paths are different.He is confused because he has a lot of influence from his friends and other muslims.He fears for the loss of faith and his alienation in the society if he follows this kind of path.He always say kids will be very confused if in a family mother and father follow different ways and they will end up looking for other sources for knowledge and can be influenced by any other relegious group or community....... confused
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Hi,
Thanks for your response,and iam not offended at all.Actually what i feel is we cant say why we fall in love,how we chose a person,it just happens,and then becomes our weakness.I might have got a better Hindu man for sure but i felt i will be very happy in the company of a perosn whom i love.By the way except in the matters of relegion he is quite a nice person,very very caring.But when he is angry its like he cant control himself,but i think love is all about tolerating a person even when he is at his worst....... )Yes we cannot choose love. It just happens. All Im saying is that culture and finance can become fatal factors for love if you know what I mean. Lets face it in reality love alone isnt enough. We have to make a choice in life. If you are happy with your choice then so be it.