The quraan & the amazing bukhari
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Dude this is the entire article http//pressthat.wordpress.com/2007/09/06/hadith-plagiarized-from-the-bible/
It's from 07 but it's so freaking funny! It keeps getting better and getter! yay
-M
Its originally from freeminds itself... You will find the article in hadith section.
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Maybe I should paste this on sunniforum thread.... LOL
Yeah that would be great rotfl
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Oh..I thought the Free-Minds thread copied it from there...turns out it's the other way around. It was by JK the guy with "no god but the God" in his orange avatar. )
Did you read this one yet WayFinder?
Holy tears in my eyes! I find one new interesting hadith after another! rotfl rotfl rotfl
From the same link
Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 5 Narrated ?Ata We presented ourselves along with Ibn ?Abbas at the funeral procession of Maimuna at a place called Sarif. Ibn ?Abbas said, ?This is the wife of the Prophet so when you lift her bier, do not Jerk it or shake it much, but walk smoothly because the Prophet had nine wives and he used to observe the night turns with eight of them, and for one of them there was no night turn.?
This is a mystery.
Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 6 Narrated Anas The Prophet used to go round (have sexual relations with) all his wives in one night, and he had nine wives.
But the other hadith just said someone missed a turn.
Aisha said to the Prophet, ?Ah! My head is bursting.? He said, ?I wish it did.? Aisha responded ?You want me to die so that you can spend the next night with another wife? (Bukhari, Book of Medicine, vol.3).
Maybe Aishah was the woman who did not get her turn that particular night?
rotfl bravo
-M
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Holy tears in my eyes! I find one new interesting hadith after another! rotfl rotfl rotfl
From the same link
Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 5 Narrated ?Ata We presented ourselves along with Ibn ?Abbas at the funeral procession of Maimuna at a place called Sarif. Ibn ?Abbas said, ?This is the wife of the Prophet so when you lift her bier, do not Jerk it or shake it much, but walk smoothly because the Prophet had nine wives and he used to observe the night turns with eight of them, and for one of them there was no night turn.?
This is a mystery.
Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 6 Narrated Anas The Prophet used to go round (have sexual relations with) all his wives in one night, and he had nine wives.
But the other hadith just said someone missed a turn.
Aisha said to the Prophet, ?Ah! My head is bursting.? He said, ?I wish it did.? Aisha responded ?You want me to die so that you can spend the next night with another wife? (Bukhari, Book of Medicine, vol.3).
Maybe Aishah was the woman who did not get her turn that particular night?
rotfl bravo
rotfl OMG
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Stupid reasoning of scholars!
CHAPTER 14 MORE BIBLICAL BELIEFS OF THE AHLUL SUNNAH ? GRAVEN IMAGES
The false religion of Ahlul Sunnah believes that one should not make statues of animals and humans. They say that the act of having statues of humans and animals will lead to idol worship. They also disallow the making of woodcarvings, moulds and also the drawing or painting of pictures that have animals or human forms.
Of course with the advent of newspapers, television, videos etc it is a little ridiculous for the Ahlul Sunnah to insist on such foolish beliefs. But the ulema of Ahlul Sunnah have learnt the value of publicity. They will not mind being photographed by the newspapers or being filmed for the television news coverage. It means more money for them. The Ahlul Sunnah ulema of Saudi Arabia have come up with a simple solution to get around the problem of having their ?graven images? recorded on photographs. They say that a photograph is just like a mirror that reflects a human beings face. It is just that in a photograph, the image stays. So it is alright.
First they make the silly little rules. Then they find their own even more silly loopholes to break their own silly little rules.
rotfl bravo rotfl yay P whatever yeah
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Stupid reasoning of scholars!
CHAPTER 14 MORE BIBLICAL BELIEFS OF THE AHLUL SUNNAH ? GRAVEN IMAGES
The false religion of Ahlul Sunnah believes that one should not make statues of animals and humans. They say that the act of having statues of humans and animals will lead to idol worship. They also disallow the making of woodcarvings, moulds and also the drawing or painting of pictures that have animals or human forms.
Of course with the advent of newspapers, television, videos etc it is a little ridiculous for the Ahlul Sunnah to insist on such foolish beliefs. But the ulema of Ahlul Sunnah have learnt the value of publicity. They will not mind being photographed by the newspapers or being filmed for the television news coverage. It means more money for them. The Ahlul Sunnah ulema of Saudi Arabia have come up with a simple solution to get around the problem of having their ?graven images? recorded on photographs. They say that a photograph is just like a mirror that reflects a human beings face. It is just that in a photograph, the image stays. So it is alright.
First they make the silly little rules. Then they find their own even more silly loopholes to break their own silly little rules.
rotfl bravo rotfl yay P whatever yeah
bravo
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Stupid reasoning of scholars! )
CHAPTER 14 MORE BIBLICAL BELIEFS OF THE AHLUL SUNNAH ? GRAVEN IMAGES
The false religion of Ahlul Sunnah believes that one should not make statues of animals and humans. They say that the act of having statues of humans and animals will lead to idol worship. They also disallow the making of woodcarvings, moulds and also the drawing or painting of pictures that have animals or human forms.
Of course with the advent of newspapers, television, videos etc it is a little ridiculous for the Ahlul Sunnah to insist on such foolish beliefs. But the ulema of Ahlul Sunnah have learnt the value of publicity. They will not mind being photographed by the newspapers or being filmed for the television news coverage. It means more money for them. The Ahlul Sunnah ulema of Saudi Arabia have come up with a simple solution to get around the problem of having their ?graven images? recorded on photographs. They say that a photograph is just like a mirror that reflects a human beings face. It is just that in a photograph, the image stays. So it is alright.
First they make the silly little rules. Then they find their own even more silly loopholes to break their own silly little rules.
rotfl bravo rotfl yay P whatever yeah
Be careful I?m a religious police police muscle voodoo
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Beard rule was also stolen from Bible! )
I'll color the most important points.
CHAPTER 15 MORE AHLUL SUNNAH STUFF FROM THE BIBLE ? BEARDS
The Ahlul Sunnah and Shiahs are fond of growing beards. They say that this is a good thing to do for men because wearing a beard brings rewards from GOD and also blessings. This is a lie. The Ahlul Sunnah and Shias also shave off their mustache.
Here are some false hadith from Bukhari that talk about growing beards
Bukhari Book 002, Number 0501
Abu Huraira reported The Messenger of GOD (may peace be upon him) said Trim closely the moustache, and grow beard, and thus act against the fire-worshippers.Bukhari Book 002, Number 0502
?A?isha reported The Messenger of GOD (may peace be upon him) said Ten are the acts according to fitra clipping the moustache, letting the beard grow, using the tooth-stick, snuffing water in the nose, cutting the nails, washing the finger joints, plucking the hair under the armpits, shaving the pubes and cleaning one?s private parts with water. The narrator said I have forgotten the tenth, but it may have been rinsing the mouth.The Ahlul Sunnah and Shiah also have a hadith on crotch shaving. Good hygiene is welcome but there is nothing religious about shaving. There are no magical blessings to be gained by growing beards or shaving one?s crotch.
This is another false idea the Ahlul Sunnah have stolen from the Bible.
Book of Numbers 85-7
?5 Then the LORD said to Moses, 6 ?Now set the Levites apart from the rest of the people of Israel and make them ceremonially clean. 7 Do this by sprinkling them with the water of purification. And have them shave their entire body and wash their clothing. Then they will be ceremonially clean. . . .??The hadith on beard and crotch-shaving are NOT THE WORD OF ALLAH. They are innovations borrowed from the Christian Bible.
The result is that a lot of Sunnis and Shiahs therefore look exactly like the Amish Christian brothers who also grow their beard and shave off their mustaches.
In Afghanistan this silly Sunni cult behaviour was used by the mad Taleban to enforce racist policies in the country. Afghanistan consists of the Asiatic mongolian type races like the Uzbeks, Tajiks etc. It also has a sizeable number of the Aryan type races like the Pushtuns. The Taleban were the Pushtun type people (Aryans).
There are groups in the north who are mongoloid Asiatics. Asiatics do not have much beards or facial hair. This is how GOD has created the different kinds of people on this earth. (Red Indians and Eskimos for example have almost no facial hair).
So the Pushtuns came out with a ruling that according to Sunnism, all men must grow a full beard. People who cannot grow a full beard are considered as inferior ? they can be punished. You can never be a religious leader in Afghanistan if you don?t have a full beard. And during the time of the Taleban if you were not a religious leader ? you could not do anything nothing in Afghanistan. So the Asiatics could not do anything in Afghanistan.
With this simple rule the Taleban could discriminate against the Asiatic races in Afghanistan. The Quran does not say anything at all about growing beards or trimming moustaches. So where do these strange Sunni ideas about beards come from ?
You guessed it folks ? it comes from the Bible. You cannot ever find such weird cultish behaviour in the Quran. These are all Biblical ideas stolen from the Christian Bible. This is Ahlul Sunnah Christianity. Here are the Bible teachings about beards
You shall not round off the hair on your temples or mar the edges of your beard.
They shall not make tonsures upon their heads, nor shave off the edges of their beards, nor make any cuttings in their flesh.
You shall not even cut your beard. A lot of Rasputin types running around. Then there is also a story of some men who were forcefully shaved.
When it was told David, he sent to meet them, for the men were greatly ashamed. And the king said, ?Remain at Jericho until your beards have grown, and then return.?
Here it is a shame not to have a beard. A bit of Taleban Afghanistan here.To the Christians today these are not issues at all. The Christians have long ago decided NOT to listen to their Bible (otherwise there would be a bunch of beardos running around ? probably wearing robes as well)
I bolded "beardos" because it sounds funny.
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Beard rule was also stolen from Bible! )
You shall not round off the hair on your temples or mar the edges of your beard.
They shall not make tonsures upon their heads, nor shave off the edges of their beards, nor make any cuttings in their flesh.
You shall not even cut your beard. A lot of Rasputin types running around. Then there is also a story of some men who were forcefully shaved.
When it was told David, he sent to meet them, for the men were greatly ashamed. And the king said, ?Remain at Jericho until your beards have grown, and then return.?
Here it is a shame not to have a beard. A bit of Taleban Afghanistan here.To the Christians today these are not issues at all. The Christians have long ago decided NOT to listen to their Bible (otherwise there would be a bunch of beardos running around ? probably wearing robes as well)
I bolded "beardos" because it sounds funny.
what the? I didn't know that it was in the bible o ...I can imagine christians with robes and beards rotfl
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They don't follow their bible, which ironically makes them BETTER than the Sunni's who actually follow their hadith (which has extracted many things from the bible), as the author of the article points out. The Sunni's are in reality the greatest practicing Christians whereas the Christians believe in less falsehoods.
-M
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They don't follow their bible, which ironically makes them BETTER than the Sunni's who actually follow their hadith (which has extracted many things from the bible), as the author of the article points out. The Sunni's are in reality the greatest practicing Christians whereas the Christians believe in less falsehoods.
-M
The Sunni's are in reality the greatest practicing Christians whereas the Christians believe in less falsehoods.
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The Sunni's are in reality the greatest practicing Christians whereas the Christians believe in less falsehoods.
rotfl
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-POST EDITED-
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Praise Bukhari jedi
jedi
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- Sahih Bukhary
Gaber Ibn Abdullah said the messenger of God was carrying rocks with them to the Kaaba while having his clothes on. His uncle Al Abbas suggested to him to lift his clothes up, so he did and so exposed himself. The messenger of God fell unconscious and was never seen naked again since then.
Wtf?! rotfl
- Hypocrisy nope
(57) DO NOT BUILD MASJIDS ON TOMBS
THEY DO NOT EVEN FOLLOW THEIR OWN CLAIMED HADITHS !!
Sahih Moslem
Abu Hurayra said, the messenger of God said; "Cursed are the Jews and the Christians, they made out of their prophet's tombs masajids (places for worship).<<
So, what did the Muslims do with Muhammed's tomb after his death ?, while claiming to believe in what is written in these hadiths books, they built a masjid on his tomb. Not only did they defy this commandments, if it was his, but added to the ritual of Hajj, that is supposed to be ABSOLUTELY to God ALONE, added to it a visit to Muhammed's tomb. This kind of visit is neither from God nor from Muhammed himself. He never visited his own tomb after his Hajj.
Is it any wonder that the prophet Muhammed will complain from them on the Day of Judgment, THAT THEY DESERTED THE QURAN ?see 2530.
- The ulema's (scholars' illiteracy contradiction
Sahih Bukhary
Qatada said; Anas said, "When the prophet Muhammed (PBUH) wanted to write to the Romans, he was told that they would not read a message unless it is stamped. He (Muhammed) took a stamp made of silver, I can see its bright whiteness in his hand and he engraved in it, "Muhammed the messenger of God"
In this Hadith Muhammed is mentioned writing his name on his own silver stamp. The rest of the hadiths books tried to picture Muhammed as an illiterate man who cannot read and write.
rotfl rotfl
The fact of the matter is Muhammad was literate and wrote the Quran according to God in the Quran. Of course the scholars were too busy with their hadith books and didn't know about this.
-M
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- Sahih Bukhary
Gaber Ibn Abdullah said the messenger of God was carrying rocks with them to the Kaaba while having his clothes on. His uncle Al Abbas suggested to him to lift his clothes up, so he did and so exposed himself. The messenger of God fell unconscious and was never seen naked again since then.
Wtf?! rotfl
- Hypocrisy nope
(57) DO NOT BUILD MASJIDS ON TOMBS
THEY DO NOT EVEN FOLLOW THEIR OWN CLAIMED HADITHS !!
Sahih Moslem
Abu Hurayra said, the messenger of God said; "Cursed are the Jews and the Christians, they made out of their prophet's tombs masajids (places for worship).<<
So, what did the Muslims do with Muhammed's tomb after his death ?, while claiming to believe in what is written in these hadiths books, they built a masjid on his tomb. Not only did they defy this commandments, if it was his, but added to the ritual of Hajj, that is supposed to be ABSOLUTELY to God ALONE, added to it a visit to Muhammed's tomb. This kind of visit is neither from God nor from Muhammed himself. He never visited his own tomb after his Hajj.
Is it any wonder that the prophet Muhammed will complain from them on the Day of Judgment, THAT THEY DESERTED THE QURAN ?see 2530.
- The ulema's (scholars' illiteracy contradiction
Sahih Bukhary
Qatada said; Anas said, "When the prophet Muhammed (PBUH) wanted to write to the Romans, he was told that they would not read a message unless it is stamped. He (Muhammed) took a stamp made of silver, I can see its bright whiteness in his hand and he engraved in it, "Muhammed the messenger of God"
In this Hadith Muhammed is mentioned writing his name on his own silver stamp. The rest of the hadiths books tried to picture Muhammed as an illiterate man who cannot read and write.
rotfl rotfl
The fact of the matter is Muhammad was literate and wrote the Quran according to God in the Quran. Of course the scholars were too busy with their hadith books and didn't know about this.
-M
bravo rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl