Small kids and money gifts from strangers
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My five year old son came back from shopping at the local supermarket with the shopping and more money than when he left the house! Sounds good but I'm not comfortable with it. I gave him around US$5 and he had to items to buy which together cost around $4. He explained that on the way home he was waiting to cross the road when the car he was waiting to drive pass, stopped and the driver said he was such a good boy for looking and waiting he wanted to reward him with a gift, and gave him a coin (worth US5). Possibly the driver had seen him in the shop too and was impressed that he was shopping on his own or maybe he'd seen him on other occasions but my son didn't know him at all.
I think its great that he gets acknowledgement and praise as it reinforces the importance of being careful crossing the road however I'm not keen on strangers giving my kids money. I can be concerned that this opens up the possibility of befriending by people to be avoided. I've stressed to my son that he mustn't under any circumstances accept a lift or deviate from his way. Another issue is the expectation of having earned money for doing something right. Previously money was just shiny coins but now he's started shopping for real he's getting a real sense of what money is.
What do you think about strangers giving anything to your kds? My kids often get offered sweets and I'm not keen on this either but mostly for the health issue.
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My five year old son came back from shopping at the local supermarket with the shopping and more money than when he left the house! Sounds good but I'm not comfortable with it. I gave him around US$5 and he had to items to buy which together cost around $4. He explained that on the way home he was waiting to cross the road when the car he was waiting to drive pass, stopped and the driver said he was such a good boy for looking and waiting he wanted to reward him with a gift, and gave him a coin (worth US5). Possibly the driver had seen him in the shop too and was impressed that he was shopping on his own or maybe he'd seen him on other occasions but my son didn't know him at all.
I think its great that he gets acknowledgement and praise as it reinforces the importance of being careful crossing the road however I'm not keen on strangers giving my kids money. I can be concerned that this opens up the possibility of befriending by people to be avoided. I've stressed to my son that he mustn't under any circumstances accept a lift or deviate from his way. Another issue is the expectation of having earned money for doing something right. Previously money was just shiny coins but now he's started shopping for real he's getting a real sense of what money is.
What do you think about strangers giving anything to your kds? My kids often get offered sweets and I'm not keen on this either but mostly for the health issue.
It could be quite innocent, but on the other hand could be very dangerous. In a perfect world it would be wonderful if everyone was honest and straight forward, but unfortunately this is not a perfect world and there are some very strange people out there.
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This happened to me once when I was a kid. I was at a local supermarket buying candy with coins with my sister. We were counting coins to pay, when we realized we did not have enough. The guy beyond us overheard and gave me and my sister a dollar, so we could buy the extra candy. However, when I came back home my mother freaked out and threw away the candy. '(
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Well in my community kids at 5 yrs don't normally go shopping alone..
I dunno i remember as a kid my mother always teaching me never take anything from a stranger.. however i never traveled alone or anything but was still taught it..
Some people are genuinely kind and friendly but in most communities there isn't that trust. Do you trust your community? would you give candy/money to a kid?
I think it would be ideal to teach the child not all people are kind and friendly some people pretend to be to do bad things.. next time if someone offers something say 'no thank you' and ask me you're mother/father and we can get it for you.. or whatever explanation works for you..
it's not uncommon for people to be nice to kids but i'd be careful or try to be.
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Does this apply to big "kids" like me?
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Thanks for the response.
Where I live abductions of small children by strangers is pretty much unheard of. That said five year olds don't normally go shopping on their own either but then we don't conform to the norm! I can only remember one case in the last couple of decades and that was a very amateurish attempt at kidnapping in the chinese community so I'm not too worried about very dangerous cases of that kind. the man was not alone in the car but had a women passenger, most likely his wife. The more I think about it the more I find it strange. I can understand people giving sweets or something but money, especially this much seems very odd. Maybe the guy had had some bad experience of running a child over or something and wasn't quite thinking straight.
My philosophy is that the best protection against evil minded people kids can have is self confidence. The opportunity to abuse is by means of leading a child on and that is no easy task when it comes to my kids. They ask as much as they answer and often control the conversation by with unpredictable answers and questions on not so few occasions catching people on the wrong foot. I also think its important that my kids maintain the natural happiness generated by both receiving and giving sponateuosly. If I had shown my disapprovement when they were offered small gifts then I think this would have dampened their own wish to share their own goodies. Its all part of wanting my kids to meet others in a positive light. I think this is will help them no end in their lives and increase their opportunities for a fullfilling and happy life.
Basically that's why this episode has gven me a dilemma!
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Alamsulten,
What you said here is actually a really important factor to consider.
Another issue is the expectation of having earned money for doing something right
Everything will be equated to "what will I get in return?" Wait another 8-10 years when he hits his teens. Its already an inbuilt problem for many teens (not all, of course ) ) ie lack of motivation and you would not want to aggravate it.
You live in a good place if there is no fear of abduction. Would that country be called Utopia by chance? LOL Just kidding. But you lucky.
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Selam
I have a 5 year old and I could not even imagine sending him by his own to go shopping. Its not safe, specially here in London. Also I am sure the social services will have something to say or investigate the parents if they found out a 5 year old was allowed to go to the shops and shop for themselves. Child protection issue &
Peace
Hope
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Alamsulten,
What you said here is actually a really important factor to consider.
Everything will be equated to "what will I get in return?" Wait another 8-10 years when he hits his teens. Its already an inbuilt problem for many teens (not all, of course ) ie lack of motivation and you would not want to aggravate it.You live in a good place if there is no fear of abduction. Would that country be called Utopia by chance? LOL Just kidding. But you lucky.
Well this was a one off situation and I don't think there's any sign of damage yet!
Yes, I think we are fortunate in many ways but its far from utopia.
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Selam
I have a 5 year old and I could not even imagine sending him by his own to go shopping. Its not safe, specially here in London. Also I am sure the social services will have something to say or investigate the parents if they found out a 5 year old was allowed to go to the shops and shop for themselves. Child protection issue &
Peace
Hope
Well to be honest there aren't many parents here who do either and there aren't many kids I would consider it safe for anyway. My kids have been traffic trained from when they could walk and walked and cycled on a daily basis. That's not usual here as most kids get driven around either in a stroller or in a car and people used to think I was crazy driving home past kindergarden and then walking back to pick up my kid. However I'm convinced its a small investment with a big payback.
It has happened once that a "kind" lady has followed my son back to our house and expressed her concern to us. He is small for his age so people think he is much younger.
When I was four I lived in Yorkshire and I went to and from school on my own around half a mile each way including a long enclosed snicket, railway bridge with low parapets and a busy road junction with a lollypop dame in the morning but not in the afternoon. That was actually quite normal then and although I would generally have company there were times I would walk alone especially "off piste".