From Malaysia: Still searching but here?s my story?
-
Welcome. welcome
-
welcome I enjoyed reading your story. I used to think that a lot of the sunni stuff, like dogs being unclean, polygamy and circumcision, were in the Quran and when I joined Free Minds I realised that most of them weren't. If I had spent more time reading the Quran, like I do now, I would have been aware of 1736.
-
Peace to all,
Thanks for sharing your story with us all Max , welcome to the forum. It can be hard and dangerous to hold Quran alone beliefs in a traditional society, its probably alot like what the original muslims went through with Mohammad in the early years, they were attacked and ridiculed too,,. Keep searching and learning, hope to hear more from you here on freeminds.
Kurt
-
Peace to all,
Thanks for sharing your story with us all Max , welcome to the forum. It can be hard and dangerous to hold Quran alone beliefs in a traditional society, its probably alot like what the original muslims went through with Mohammad in the early years, they were attacked and ridiculed too,,. Keep searching and learning, hope to hear more from you here on freeminds.
Kurt
welcome welcome
-
Peace to all,
Thanks for the kind wishes. Seeing many like minded people here gives me the comfort of knowing that I am not alone in this 'struggle'. May Allah guide us to the straight path!
Ariji, nice to know that there is someone from Malaysia too. We are in a serious mess here aren't we? Sigh...
-
Peace to all,
Thanks for the kind wishes. Seeing many like minded people here gives me the comfort of knowing that I am not alone in this 'struggle'. May Allah guide us to the straight path!
Ariji, nice to know that there is someone from Malaysia too. We are in a serious mess here aren't we? Sigh...
Salamun 'alaikum brother, it's nice to read about how you came to this position. I think most people here adopted our position after some deliberation and thought; no-one here is "born" into the Qur'an-only position, and I do admire those who had the conviction to question the beliefs they're born into.
I'm from a neighbouring country Glad to have you here. Enjoy the discussion!
-
@maxthecat80
Peace and blessings
I found your story very uplifting, may Allah blesses you and protects you...
Yours in belief
Idriss.III 'aka' Nabil -
Like I mentioned earlier, being a Muslim and not believing in Hadith openly is a crime here, so not many know of my beliefs. I am currently going out with a beautiful girl who is a traditional Malay Sunni (even wears the hijab), and I the first thing I told her was this. I wanted to be honest as from the start I knew that I want to marry her someday, but I was worried that our religious beliefs may get in the way.
Did you tell her your belief after you are in relationship with her or at the very early phase when you start dating/going out with her? I am not sure whether it is better to tell a girl at the very early phase of getting to know her or better after she is already in relationship with me. Please kindly share your experience if you don't mind. How do you tell her by the way?
She accepts me the way I am and we discuss a lot about religion. I realized that it is not easy for many to accept as it would require one to reject almost everything that he/she has been practicing. God wasn?t kidding when he said that he would test us. Today, I still don?t have the answer to everything eg prayers, hajj etc. That weakness is mine alone and it is something I hope to remedy going forward. The search is part of my journey and I am still learning. I often tell her, I may not know for sure what is right, but I know for sure what is wrong. And who would do something once they know it is wrong?
Glad that she accepts you as you are
-
Peace to all,
Thanks for the kind wishes. Seeing many like minded people here gives me the comfort of knowing that I am not alone in this 'struggle'. May Allah guide us to the straight path!
Ariji, nice to know that there is someone from Malaysia too. We are in a serious mess here aren't we? Sigh...
Nice to know you too.
-
Did you tell her your belief after you are in relationship with her or at the very early phase when you start dating/going out with her? I am not sure whether it is better to tell a girl at the very early phase of getting to know her or better after she is already in relationship with me. Please kindly share your experience if you don't mind. How do you tell her by the way?
Glad that she accepts you as you are-
Get knowing either if she's a Sunni/Shia etc
-
If she's not a God Aloner, then give her a clue why she should be so. You can start it by sharing your opinions about something related.
-
-
Salam ade_cool,
Did you tell her your belief after you are in relationship with her or at the very early phase when you start dating/going out with her?
I told her at the very early phase, in our second/third date I think... &
I am not sure whether it is better to tell a girl at the very early phase of getting to know her or better after she is already in relationship with me.
Its a tricky question and one that I considered as well at that point in time. I decided to tell her early because-
- She wears a hijab (ie, most likely religious, hence more likely to not agree with me)
- This is important to me and I will not compromise my beliefs
Based on 1. and 2., and the fact that it is still early days for us, ive decided to come clean early so that we both could cut our losses early if we cannot agree.
Please kindly share your experience if you don't mind. How do you tell her by the way?
I basically told her everything in my earlier post but I also discussed the history of hadith and why I had my doubts. After explaining my beliefs, I told her that I will not force her to believe what i believe. I do not mind going out with someone who doesnt share my belief, but I hope that she would not force me to believe in what she believes either. I also said that I am still learning and willing to learn. If there is any rationale evidence that I am wrong, I will 'mend' my ways. I am open, and I only seek the truth.
She later told me that my openness and honesty impressed her. (Perhaps that sealed the deal? bravo. Hehehe..I dont know but at that time all I wanted to do was to tell the truth. She was also amazed that I read the Quran. (Again, brownie points..haha). I guess, the fact that I was willing to be 'corrected' if there is sufficient evidence and that I wont force her is the key as it showed that I was genuine about wanting to know the truth, and I am not looking to recruit her as a member of some deviationist cult.. O0.
Glad that she accepts you as you are
Thanks.. Its not a smooth ride to be honest . Even today (15 months), we still have disagreements. Whenever possible, I try to take the opportunity to present my view on what the Quran preaches on certain topics. And we would debate on them, more often than not the issue is left hanging because, well...the Quran is quite straightforward on certain things isnt it? And at that stage, she will ask me to talk to a 'religious teacher'/ustaz as she is not knowledgeable enough. Of cos, I refused since I know its a total waste of time + I could be jailed!
The thing I have learnt about this is, we cannot force people, no matter what. It is not easy for them to unbelieve what they have practised all their lives. After all, everyone is doing it, how can it be wrong? Yes, it pains us to see our loved ones led by the nose by these career priests. Partly, I am to be blamed as there is much that I cannot explain clearly. Like I said, I may not know the correct way, but I definitely know the wrong way.
It is tiresome sometimes, the 'fightings' can take their toll, but I think everybody needs to be given a chance to find his/her way. Just like we did/are still doing. I think I am making progress, as the constant debates and questioning has opened her eyes somewhat. Hopefully, it wont take too long.
Overall, no regrets. This has worked well so far for me and I am certainly glad that I told her earlier. But for you, the solution maybe something else and this entirely depends on you and your partner. Different people react differently and only you would know the best approach to take. Good luck!
-
peace,
Welcome to the forum.
Amazing isn't it.Thank you, Wakas.
Yes, it is. Instead of mind numbing rituals, we are asked to think! How refreshing!
We have now bestowed upon you from on high a divine writ containing all that you ought to bear in mind; will you not, then, use your reason? (2110)
-
welcome welcome
-
Thank god i FINALLY found a fellow malaysian who has the same views as I do! Reciting arabic surahs that you didnt know the meaning of, the right leg first in the door , dogs arent alowed in the house because angels will go away (and all sorts of stuff espacially stoning) never made any sense growing up!! and whenever i tell my friends about how theyre in the hadiths and not actually from god and get in debates with them, they all say i cant use my own mind to think i need the help of a religious scholar!! (I also get in debates with my parents like you) and i feel the same exact way as you do in how i just want to know the truth and im willing to be corrected, if it convinces me otherwise! We are the people who are sincere in finding truth, we should definitely keep connected so... can you give me your email somehow? maybe through priveate message? im so happy that a malaysian besides me has the same views! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
