Taking off the Hijab
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haha. I don't think I have been on a forum before with such a healthy sense of humour.
I started wearing the hijab at the age of 16-17. My biggest reason for it was quite complicated. But basically as a minority in a country, where you dont feel like you are part of your own original culture, nor do you feel completely a part of the majority, you are stuck kind of in between without a sense of belonging. However, where I went to high-school, all the girls wearing hijab were "in-between" but it was an in-between group that they belonged in. I wanted to be a part of that group and thats what I chose. At that time, I believed that their values were similar to mine, and I also thought the hijab was obligatory. However, when I became part of this group, I started to realize more and more that I really was not one of them, but continued to wear it. People have a certain opinion of those that wear the hijab, and I just did not fit that description. Because its hard to just stop and deal with others' opinions.
Fast-track a couple of years, and I was going away to a different town to University, and it was an easy way out for me. I just took it off completely when I was there. I got the same amazing sense of feeling taking it off, just as I had done putting it on a few years earlier. However, whenever I was home, I put it back on again, because I wasnt ready to face the comments, and questions. It was a bit of living a dual life, and not much fun at times. There was one time my mom was lecturing me on the phone as to how the hijab was preventing me from basically everything (friends, a boy, job), when I hadnt been wearing one really for two years (Though, I had completely different reasons for taking it off, as I don't believe when I wore it, it hindered me from anything).
Then, this summer I graduated, I was done school, and back in a city among family (albeit in my own apartment). So I had to solve this dilemma one and for all. I wore a very large bandanna that covered all of my hair, but not my neck, all summer when I was around family. When winter approached, the bandanna got replaced with a toque, and the hood of my jacket. Now when its too warm for toques, and hoods, I just plan to go bare-headed. So i took a slow approach as well.
Anyways thats my story. For those of you that wear the hijab, and no intention of taking it off, I admire you. For those that feel it no longer fits their purpose in life, I admire you too, and pray God will give you strength to choose your destiny.
Also this summer, I found out that the one high-school friend who had been most influential to me, as for putting the hijab on in the first place, no longer wears one either.
You know any girls like this http//www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-502714/Why-Muslim-girl-born-virgin-wedding-night.html
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Thanks for sharing your story )
did you get much comments in the community? for your actions?
lol i wish my mum was like that
your family seems liberal. i don't have such freedom which just makes it difficult for me.
i bought a beanie (toque) the other day though it's got like a weaved cap, a different style but i liked it.. i thought hmm when winter comes if i got guts i'll go out with that on
You desire to be liberal rather than a believer a submitter a peace maker a muslim?
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I'm just waiting patiently to get to University soon enough. I think my personality will shift with it. I've become incredible reclusive since I began to wear it. I think I can identify with you about the fact that it might be something that you can identify with at a phase in your life, and I don't knock those who wear it or wouldn't consider taking it off, there are many reasons in favour of it and you know, I slightly admire them too. But for me personally, it doesn't represent what is within me any more. I'll take it off when I can make a fresh start and I'll be making some steps to return to my old self again, I miss being me and hijab doesn't represent me anymore.
Did you become reclusive because you afraid of what people would have thought of you if you said something? If islam doesn't represent you... then what represents you?
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peace Sarah,
But the sequence is
3358 says "and those who harm believing men/women......."
3359 discusses modification of jilbab for women
3360 says "and if they (perpetrators) do not cease/desist/refrain..."Is the harm mentioned in 3358 then an unrelated coincidence, and general statement not related to 3359?
Also, what do you make of the Arabic word "yantahi"?If it means "cease/desist/refrain" then it definitely means harm was taking place, this will be a fact.
That is not strictly true. That is why Asad uses "more conducive", because the Arabic literally says "that is more suitable/better that they be recognised and not harmed" NOT "modify jilbab so then they will not be harmed", as we all know a modification in jilbab does not guarantee no harm.
There are other problems for this non situation-specific view, as mentioned in the other thread, but remained unanswered.
Isn't there a quranic story that talks about such people who would try to conclude something opposite from the quran?
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Incorrect... http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9x5wY6hbX8 - Do you see women going deaf in front of men?
That video is rubbish. women can go deaf in front of men, but you don't "see" deaf. it as as if you assert women have no attraction no sexual inclination to men. you obviously do not understand women.
You'd add a remember? Then where's this quranic remembrance? Where's the verse? Show me the quran.
thanks for misunderstanding me, let me fix my punctuation/grammar.
I just thought i'd add Remember, Quran isn't against cultural rites and as societies move on from generation to generation things change as part of social/cultural norms. Doesn't mean people need to adopt them just saying it's part of society and that's fine but obligating it and make it part of religion or obligation is when lines get crossed.
how about reading verse 4911 or verse 4913
It's when a rite/practice/culture introduces something and makes it obligatory and impedes on religious duty/law when it's not right.
why complicate things? Show me in the Quran about wearing headscarf. considering you're the wise male who knows how males think and apparently assume that all women are asexual and don't think about men in any form or way. women are so awesome they could never lose concentration in front of a man! go ahead show me where females need to be curtained away from men because men don't know how to use their brains around women.
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Peace all
Thanks for the welcome Munzir.
I don't think your relationship with the hijab is weird, Halihan. Many people wear it as a fashion statement. I personally think my main reason for wearing one, was my pride in being Muslim. After donning it, I came to realize, I was not really like any of the other hijab wearers.
My last year in highschool, I was with 2 muslim friends. One that wore a hijab, and one that did not. The one that did not said "I don't understand the reasons for wearing the hijab". Neither me or my other friend said anything to her. I always respected other people's beliefs, regardless of my outfits. But I remember thinking then, that this friend would never pray without hijab, or enter a mosque without hijab. You cannot have it both ways, if its obligatory, then its obligatory all the time, prayer or otherwise.
However, now that I no longer wear the hijab, I still pray wearing one, not because I believe that God won't accept my prayer without it. But its hard to break habits that have been formed since birth. While rituals may have little meaning, there is a degree of comfort in them.
What are your thoughts in this matter ?
If rituals have little meaning to you... then why do you do something you don't understand? Should you rather try to understand them? http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfflgF_H0kY
Should you rather know how to worship your creator? http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYMKQKSV0bY
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Peace Ay. Thanks for the story.
And I completely agree with Omeiza. A scarf on the head is just as much fashion as spaghetti straps and mini skirts.
You have some interesting points Ay. As I said in my very first post, I admire those that wear the hijab, and I admire those that have the courage to take it off. So im not one of those that hates the hijab. I dont agree with your slippery-slope argument of taking off the hijab will over time lead to mini-skirts. God gave us a brain to use, and most of use it to determine whats appropriate or not. Theres lot of muslim girls/women who have never worn the hijab (head-scarf), never will, but will never show even an inch of their legs in public. Second I don't see the issue with mini-skirts. While, I have never worn one, and probably never will due to my cultural conditioning, who is this woman/girl hurting by wearing one. Absolutely no one, so there is no need to judge her.
While I may find it hard to follow it all the time myself, I have this philosophy where we leave judgment to God in all instances except when one is being hurt. For example if a women is abusing her husband, we judge the woman, judge the situation, and get them both help.
If you find any fallacy in my arguments, please point them out. I am only here to learn.
Weren't face veils and headscarfs banned by colonialists when they took over muslim lands?
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In about 4 or 5 centuries, the headscarf will be completely forgotten as a religious obligation.
Well... as long as they push and force and ban hijabs and headscarfs... then you'll get that. But when it comes to the desert, a headscarf free individual... is an individual with heatstroke.
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The Mainstream christians seem to have forgotten it 5 centuries ago. The same will happen to mainstream islam and Judaism. Their fabrications will disappear.
And say ?The truth has come and falsehood has perished. Falsehood is always bound to perish (qur'an 1781!?
http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9x5wY6hbX8 - Falsehood perished naturally.
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Salam
I just wanted to add my personal experience for removing hijab.
Well to be frank I have been wearing my hijab since I was 16 years. Now I'm 20 years. A few months back I was feeling very frustrated wearing it. I coud not stand it anymore. I tried several times to view my opinions, but it was said that once you start to wear it, you can't take it off.
I tried to talk to my father once, and he was with me. He too doesnt agree that in the Quran, it was mentionned to cover the hair. My mother was angry and she did not speak to me for one week. But now Alhamdulilah, all's fine at my place. I am engaged, N my fiance threatened to leave me coz I wanted to remove it, but I did not let myself fall weak. I was too determined to remove it,.Well finally he agreed to let me be without it but on the condition that I have to wear it after nikah.
Secondly ever since I removed it, I got a lot of people saying it's wrong what I did and blabla..I really dont knw how to rufute them, coz according to them, I'm going against the Quran.
Anyway, just 1 more thing to highlight is that I hve got nothing against hijab, but I do not have any regrets since I removed it.
SorayaSo when your father said that he believed it wasn't in the quran... you choose your father's opinion? Did you quran 496 it?
You don't have regrets? What about after watching this video and viewing quran 971?
http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9x5wY6hbX8
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You know any girls like this http//www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-502714/Why-Muslim-girl-born-virgin-wedding-night.html
That's pathetic, it just goes to show how ignorant some cultures are, virginity doesn't = she bled when she had sex. Many women don't bleed and it doesn't mean she's not a virgin. The fact that women feel they have to go to such extremities whether it be to hide the fact they had a past or whether it's to maintain stupid cultural practices is just lame and what does this have to do with HIJAB OR HEADSCARF!
You desire to be liberal rather than a believer a submitter a peace maker a muslim?
Your judgement disgusts me, i rather desire to live in peace. This has nothing to do with liberalism or submission. how does headscarf make you a submitter a peacemaker a muslim? please outline the punishment of such a deed? or what "sin" word is used to attribute to the lack of compliance to this "deed/act" of apparent believers, submitter, peacemaker.
many girls are pressured into the notion of hijab as an obligation, the minute they are children they are told they must represent islam when they know little or nothing about it. they place this identity this responsibility on women! when look how men treat women, even till this day many men even in western societies refuse to let their women get an education. how do you expect muslims to prosper, educate others, give a good example of a true believer/submitter if people don't even educate their own women and these are the very people representing islam..
prove it's an act of worship.
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That video is rubbish. women can go deaf in front of men, but you don't "see" deaf. it as as if you assert women have no attraction no sexual inclination to men. you obviously do not understand women.
thanks for misunderstanding me, let me fix my punctuation/grammar.
I just thought i'd add Remember, Quran isn't against cultural rites and as societies move on from generation to generation things change as part of social/cultural norms. Doesn't mean people need to adopt them just saying it's part of society and that's fine but obligating it and make it part of religion or obligation is when lines get crossed.
how about reading verse 4911 or verse 4913
It's when a rite/practice/culture introduces something and makes it obligatory and impedes on religious duty/law when it's not right.
why complicate things? Show me in the Quran about wearing headscarf. considering you're the wise male who knows how males think and apparently assume that all women are asexual and don't think about men in any form or way. women are so awesome they could never lose concentration in front of a man! go ahead show me where females need to be curtained away from men because men don't know how to use their brains around women.
That video is rubbish? Do you have an scientific rebuttal against it? I don't see women have sexual attraction to the average joe male. Of course quran 2430 is before quran 2431.
I obviously don't understand women? I'd have to ask you the same Do you understand women? Do you know what you are? Biologically speaking? Do you know the effect you may have?
"Quran isn't against cultural rites" - and according to what verse is this? Because if the cultural rights are adultery and fornication as it was when Valentines day was first invented... then that would have contradicted with the quran.
As for quran 4911 and 4913... yes... I note them, and am trying to apply them here. Particularly, I'm hoping that you would agree to that with me.
The people have made it obligratory for women to look a specific way... they push it upon you when you go to the beach as you do. They push it upon you in schools (heck pushing schools upon people, what nazi horror), they pushed it upon muslimahs when they ruled over them.What show you the quran... are you quran 37ing on me? Quran 2431 makes it clear to take your head cover over your chest. I'm sure Wakas made it clear to you about extension rather than retention.
Women think about me? Should I put a picture of myself... I'm regarded as a pretty male, and the thai kick boxing probably has helped with that... We can exchange each other's pictures, and wire one another up to a thingy machine to check how each of us react to the other... elektro We could also do as that video suggested. You give me some information, and I give you some information. And lets see who remembers what not? No? You to fat to give me your picture?
"women are so awesome" - are you boasting to me now?
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That's pathetic, it just goes to show how ignorant some cultures are, virginity doesn't = she bled when she had sex. Many women don't bleed and it doesn't mean she's not a virgin. The fact that women feel they have to go to such extremities whether it be to hide the fact they had a past or whether it's to maintain stupid cultural practices is just lame and what does this have to do with HIJAB OR HEADSCARF!
QURAN 243-9... what does it say? She declares herself that she was one of those "non-headscarf" wearing females... but of course did so when she went to her family... but had non-muslim friends when she went to schools and what not. You cannot hide your past... you have to propagate the quran 243-9 and other such.
It has everything to do with the identity of a muslim and quran 971. And the verses regarding jilbabs so that you may be recognized and not attacked or what not. (It's getting late here I'll let you search for that verse).
Your judgement disgusts me, i rather desire to live in peace. This has nothing to do with liberalism or submission. how does headscarf make you a submitter a peacemaker a muslim? please outline the punishment of such a deed? or what "sin" word is used to attribute to the lack of compliance to this "deed/act" of apparent believers, submitter, peacemaker.
many girls are pressured into the notion of hijab as an obligation, the minute they are children they are told they must represent islam when they know little or nothing about it. they place this identity this responsibility on women! when look how men treat women, even till this day many men even in western societies refuse to let their women get an education. how do you expect muslims to prosper, educate others, give a good example of a true believer/submitter if people don't even educate their own women and these are the very people representing islam..
prove it's an act of worship.
Live in peace, rest in peace, prepare for peace as far as I say. I don't know the punishment, but quran 2430 states that if you probably see me staring at you... as I was with one "lady" (who told me to be observant in observing how the work was done), then you are to tell me since I'm a believing man (and she did do that). Of course when I tried to tell her the same... I messed up and misquoted the next verse 2431, and said "You quoted the quran, theres a verse after it that continues... I don't want to really say.. oh you insist... It says you have to cover up" ezzzz wrong. The verse doesn't say that. It says what it says. Of course she scrunched up the post it note that I had given her a few minutes before regarding that video she was going to watch later on.
Of course when they represent islam, other muslims will help them.
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That video is subjective that?s my evidence. If you don?t accept that as evidence then you are being subjective and bias. Just because the verse is before it doesn?t mean the ruling is different or stronger.
I don?t understand everything about myself, there are many things I do not know. I know I have effects I don?t know all the effects I may have but everyone has influences, it?s not limited to females.
"Quran isn't against cultural rites" - and according to what verse is this? Because if the cultural rights are adultery and fornication as it was when Valentines day was first invented... then that would have contradicted with the quran.
I?m starting to think you have comprehension problems. Let me simplify it for you ?Anything that is against the Quran is not acceptable.? Clear now?
As for quran 4911 and 4913... yes... I note them, and am trying to apply them here. Particularly, I'm hoping that you would agree to that with me.
The people have made it obligratory for women to look a specific way... they push it upon you when you go to the beach as you do. They push it upon you in schools (heck pushing schools upon people, what nazi horror), they pushed it upon muslimahs when they ruled over them.People have made it obligatory for women to look a specific way, and what way is that exactly?
What show you the quran... are you quran 37ing on me? Quran 2431 makes it clear to take your head cover over your chest. I'm sure Wakas made it clear to you about extension rather than retention.
I?m not 37ing nothing on you. I?m asking you for proof considering you appear to know it. 2431 isn?t proof ?khimar? doesn?t = head covering. Wakas didn?t say anything about extension nor retention the context you?re thinking about is in regards to believers who are harmed.
Women think about me? Should I put a picture of myself... I'm regarded as a pretty male, and the thai kick boxing probably has helped with that... We can exchange each other's pictures, and wire one another up to a thingy machine to check how each of us react to the other... elektro We could also do as that video suggested. You give me some information, and I give you some information. And lets see who remembers what not? No? You to fat to give me your picture?
Ah so you want to see my picture, you could have asked. You or anyone can see me. Beauty is subjective something you fail to recognise. You may find me ugly/fat maybe even beautiful and frankly I don?t care because it?s all subjective and women might find you "pretty and attractive maybe even ugly" so what? that's normal.
"women are so awesome" - are you boasting to me now?
no I was trying to fault your logic by showing your weakness though unfortunately you couldn?t recognise it.
Women think about men too (physically/beauty wise), in case you didn?t know now you know.
BTW most reporters are ?above average looking? there is something called marketing.
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Reread quran 243-9 for your own sake brother, it has nothing to do with non-headscarf.
In relation to the girl who went out and did promiscuous acts, that?s between her and God. nothing YOU can do about it. at least she?s amending ways and assumingly would repent. See what happens when you strangle someone it just makes them rebel, you need some space for people to breath, not everyone can handle pressure. I'm not saying what she did was right but the actions her family wanted to take are not right either, wrong and wrong do not = right or justice.
In relation to the jilbab verse, the context as I was saying earlier is in relation to believers being harmed. Excuses, excuses, read from verse 3358-3360.
Dude people stare at ?ugly? people, people stare at all sorts of people be it the glamorous or not. We?ve been given a code of conduct some people are unmindful, you?re responsible for your OWN actions even if a naked man or women walked right in front of you be it the most amazing or the most ugliest person. It?s not she needs to cover for me to be normal and not stare. In actual fact I believe I look better with a headscarf. Would that mean I?m more of a fitnah? More non-muslims ?stare? at me, does that mean I?m creating more problems?
Other muslims help them? Look at the muslim community.. You?re so oblivious to reality.
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FAR
If you want to judge me, go right ahead. If you want to believe that I will punished for the way I dress, go right ahead. If you want to make inferences on what my college experience was, based on a biased news article, go right ahead. I don't care what you think. I only care what God thinks, and he knows my past, and whats in my heart.
I am a Muslim. I do not judge others unless it is a situation of abuse. I do not care if my fellow human being is called Abdullah or John, Mariam or Katie. If I see injustice, I will stand up against it. I support equal rights for those with alternate sexual orientations. I support women who wear the hijab. I support women who do not wear the hijab. I ask people what they want out of life, and support them as what is in my means, rather than lecture them. And it is these things that make me Muslim so much more than covering my head.
I wish you nothing but peace
Kukumber
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That video is subjective that?s my evidence. If you don?t accept that as evidence then you are being subjective and bias. Just because the verse is before it doesn?t mean the ruling is different or stronger.
I don?t understand everything about myself, there are many things I do not know. I know I have effects I don?t know all the effects I may have but everyone has influences, it?s not limited to females.
I?m starting to think you have comprehension problems. Let me simplify it for you ?Anything that is against the Quran is not acceptable.? Clear now?
People have made it obligatory for women to look a specific way, and what way is that exactly?I?m not 37ing nothing on you. I?m asking you for proof considering you appear to know it. 2431 isn?t proof ?khimar? doesn?t = head covering. Wakas didn?t say anything about extension nor retention the context you?re thinking about is in regards to believers who are harmed.
Ah so you want to see my picture, you could have asked. You or anyone can see me. Beauty is subjective something you fail to recognize. You may find me ugly/fat maybe even beautiful and frankly I don?t care because it?s all subjective and women might find you "pretty and attractive maybe even ugly" so what? that's normal.
no I was trying to fault your logic by showing your weakness though unfortunately you couldn?t recognise it.Women think about men too (physically/beauty wise), in case you didn?t know now you know.
BTW most reporters are ?above average looking? there is something called marketing.
Khimar does = head covering. But that's not the ultimatum... it's the part that refers to covering the "zeenat" that would make it clearer to you. What would that part imply? Well refer to this http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu_0C8O2hTo - (warning male viewer discretion advised - only for women).
?Anything that is against the Quran is not acceptable.? - you seem to have grammar problems (as you've already said).
As for believers harmed, are we males not harmed when we cannot even recall information when you women stupefy us with your pheromones?
No no, I've already looked a donkey pictures... I don't need to see yours. ignore
"o I was trying to fault your logic by showing your weakness though unfortunately you couldn?t recognise it." - well it's obvious that I didn't accept your faulting.
Most reporters... just wear make up, and when it comes to men... most if not all women have that effect. Especially in my case when I leave the office do I start to remember things I could have said, and do I truly feel awake.
Women think about men? Do they lose concentration thanks to the men around them?