Islamic Bill of rights for women in the bedroom
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Peace sis )
Ok well I guess there is a lack of trust.. lack of trust isnt exactly the greatest thing to have in a relationship..actually prob one of the worst things.
How about she call him? Mobiles exist but not to the extent that she becomes obsessive?
Maybe he is slacking off and not getting bonuses..
anyway this lose of patience kinda reminded me of a verse. Dont take it to offense because its not intended
432 (Asad) Hence, do not covet the bounties which God has bestowed more abundantly on some of you than on others. Men shall have a benefit from what they earn, and women shall have a benefit from what they earn. Ask, therefore, God out of His bounty behold, God has indeed full knowledge of everything.
So many women like to fully take advantage of their mens income. Not saying she is but it is very common hence what made me remember this verse..
If he is providing for them the children herself its not a big deal if he does or doesnt bring in a bonus so long as he does his duties..right? if he does more than well God bless the guy.
She doesnt need to stand up with a bat in her hand or just yell or anything extravagant. But maybe chat, as what normal couples would do and then slid it in that shes concerned or feels upset because of bla bla bla. If shes not willing to do anything and only accept herself as a victim shes not really helping herself is she? Call is in her hands.
Possibly she needs to believe she has the ability to change her situation, until she believe that i have no idea what you can tell her. maybe tell her don't place a victim seal upon yourself but recognise you're capable of changing the situation. we can only listen to your complaints but we can't actively involve ourselves to help.
how does she expect you or her friends or the people she complains to, to help? i guess she's just venting out or probably scared...
Peace
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Yes I think its deeper than that, She says the bills are barely getting paid. She had to go apply for welfare to provide food. They live in a really bad cheap area. There bills are about $1,000 a month all together, and he is never home. The apartment needs repairs and they all need clothes they wear practially rags, There car is not working and just too many things. They have cell phones but he does not ever seem to call. I dont know anymore. I will pass the verses on to her but I think its deeper that what she has been telling me.
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Peace sis,
the intention wasn't to pass on the verse i just recalled it, that's all. Well if she can get support from welfare and she needs, i guess that's a good step. practically rags? she could go to the local op shop i'm sure she'd be able to get decent clothes at a cheap price.
she should call him..
anyway the real question is does she wanna stay in that marriage or not? and is she making effort to talk/work things out with him (that is agreeable on both sides)? I mean they'd both need to work it out when they're both in the right state of mind. God knows what her husband is thinking or issues he is in.
lack of communication = big problems
Inshallah things work out for her
salam
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They have a major lack of communication. She does want to stay with him and she is too fearful to go anywhere he gets very angry if she goes with another sister to the store or anything. I dont know I give up on it with her. I will share the information with her today when we meet up and thanks for your advice and suggestions.
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Yea,Im glad someone feels the same way. Im very lucky my husband left all his old sunni ways when he became a quranist/submitter.As for my friend, Its really bad for her, he is a truck driver home only 1 week out of 2 months, Hubby and I agree he has a another wife or 2 on the side becuase they live far worse than his income. My husband used to drive trucks too and he said for how they live and the thngs they need and whats not being met he has plural wives. She does not know about it of course and she is blind to the facts. I hate to see her loosing patience and faith in general and I have tried to tell her something is not right and she talks about the islamic bill of rights for women but still lets herself get walked all over. I just dont know what to do to help her anymore. Im almost to the point tot where giveup and let her deal with her own life but it just doesnt seem right of me to let herself do that to her. What would you do??
He's a truck driver? She should join him.
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Hahaha Well she put a boot up his a$$$$ as we could say and she forced him to get a new job and gods gift he has a new job that allows him to be home more and on a different route and schedule so whatever the situation she fixed that. LoLol yes I always thought it would be a little fun to be a truck driver just to travel the country and see places.
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Hahaha Well she put a boot up his a$$$$ as we could say and she forced him to get a new job and gods gift he has a new job that allows him to be home more and on a different route and schedule so whatever the situation she fixed that.
bravo Good for her!
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Yea but you should marry for love... In the Quran it says god has placed love and mercy between there hearts referring to husbands and wives. Who would not want to marry for love, that seems a bit sad. ???
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Yea but you should marry for love... In the Quran it says god has placed love and mercy between there hearts ) referring to husbands and wives. Who would not want to marry for love, that seems a bit sad. ???
Some people marry for money, security, looks, status or power amongst other things. Whatever floats their boat.. but I prefer marrying for love.
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Yea but you should marry for love... In the Quran it says god has placed love and mercy between there hearts ) referring to husbands and wives. Who would not want to marry for love, that seems a bit sad. ???
Some people marry for money, security, looks, status or power amongst other things. Whatever floats their boat.. but I prefer marrying for love.
A believer is above those categories I think.. (2221) so I?d say similar beliefs comes before love. I don?t think love is just instant, I think it builds and grows. If there is attraction and you have similar direction, in my opinion love will grow and be there. but if love is the end and all, i wouldn't say that's wise.
The verse you were talking about i think
3021 (Asad) And among His wonders is this He creates for you mates out of your own kind. so that you might incline towards them, and He engenders love and tenderness between you in this, behold, there are messages indeed for people who think!i wouldn't base my choice solely on love. love is so overrated like as if nothing else matters.
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i wouldn't base my choice solely on love. love is so overrated like as if nothing else matters.
Very true and I know from my current situation. But I wouldn't marry someone if there isn't love involved. It's true that love might come afterwards but if they don't give you any reason to love them now, then how would you know if you ever will.
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What in Heaven or Earth matters more? Sure there are other factors but without love they are nothing.
Maybe, everyone has their own priorities and preferences. i didn't say love is bad or should be non-existent. I could love someone who has a different direction than me, i wouldn't marry him. God is more important.
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Maybe, everyone has their own priorities and preferences. i didn't say love is bad or should be non-existent. I could love someone who has a different direction than me, i wouldn't marry him. God is more important.
Thank you for the advance warning handshake
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A believer is above those categories I think.. (2221) so I?d say similar beliefs comes before love. I don?t think love is just instant, I think it builds and grows. If there is attraction and you have similar direction, in my opinion love will grow and be there. but if love is the end and all, i wouldn't say that's wise.
The verse you were talking about i think
3021 (Asad) And among His wonders is this He creates for you mates out of your own kind. so that you might incline towards them, and He engenders love and tenderness between you in this, behold, there are messages indeed for people who think!i wouldn't base my choice solely on love. love is so overrated like as if nothing else matters.
The term that love is used to refer to is infatuation and lust. Mostly godless. And most of the time they take their "love" partners replacing the god.