Any input much appreciated - before Friday!
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Assalamu Alaikum.
I have been a member/reader at free-minds for awhile now, but I have merely been observing and appreciating everyone's opinions on different matters. However, now I would like to ask for a some opinions on an issue of my own.. So I appreciate, in advance, any suggestions or input this wonderful community may have.
My fiance and I are muslim. We follow only the glorious Qur'an. We were convinced from the beginning that all of the logic and beauty contained therein was all that we needed, and the Qur'an provides any other confirmation we may have desired. We are both American born, and into secular families. We both came to Islam from hard-core, serious atheism. Neither of us have been to any kind of religious establishment past the age of 5.
We have been joyously and gratefully following the straight path of Allah in our own home, but have thus far never gone to our local Masjid. Though we live in a city with a pretty low Muslim population, Sarasota is in the process of building a beautiful new Masjid, mashallah. We have wanted to go for a long time, but we were honestly intimidated since we know no other muslims in the area and we do not know the 'movements' for the friday salaat. We are still not sure how we feel about the process, but after talking to a few muslims in our only local middle eastern market, they asked us to please come to this Friday's prayer. We avoided speaking too much about our rejection of Hadith and Sunnah, but our relative 'shyness' ultimately led them to believe that we don't know that much about Islam.
Anyway, I have been debating several things, and have some major concerns about starting to get involved in the local Ummah, no matter how much I would love to.I have been considering wearing Hijab as a personal choice, not because I believe it to be a requirement, and my fiance, though he also knows that it is not a requirement, is in favor of it. (Don't judge this the wrong way, he's not weirdly chauvinistic, I promise.)
That is one of my internal struggles. The other has to do with meeting all of the local Muslimahs and trying to explain/stay true to my beliefs without offending anyone or being immediately cast out. This is such a big thing for me because although I have non-muslim friends (who are all away in college) and although I have communities online to turn to... I have no sisters to talk to. I have no one except my fiance who is akin to me. It's becoming very difficult not to have anyone with whom I can intelligently discuss Islam. I would love to be accepted into the local community, but I am at a total loss as to how to achieve this. Of course, all things Inshallah.I apologize for the very long post, but I would GREATLY appreciate any input, advice, or opinions anyone chooses to give.
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Wa Alaikum Assalam,
welcome to the forum. I few people have actually met other "Quran aloners" through Masjids but by and large I believe they will be following Hadith. Maybe some other members can give you advice on "integrating" but I can't really offer much sorry.
If you can, let us know how your visit goes. Also your post is not long
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Peace
I'm not sure you should have offense from being different from the others for than you should probably also be offended by their difference.
You want to please your man than why not wear a headscarf? Personally I think it can be good looking on a female, although for some reason it's supposed to be a conerstone of modesty. I dunno but I think men like veiled women.
Joe
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Salaam,
Welcome to the forum. ) Sorry, I can't really offer any advice. The last time I spoke to someone about a particular topic, that was not in the Quran therefore was not the words of God, I was told that as Muslims we believe in the Quran and the way of sunnah. I was like ok-ay. -X My knowledge at this time is not enough to debate, but I am still learning. Perhaps, others might have advice they can offer. -
Salam welcome
If you think they have good characters ethically and morally, then slowly tell them of your beliefs. They may reject you or they may accept you. I would think that should they reject you, they are not really worthy of being friends with or socialising with. It's kinda like a friend who'd refuse to hang out with you because the majority don't like you or something like that.
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I have been considering wearing Hijab as a personal choice, not because I believe it to be a requirement, and my fiance, though he also knows that it is not a requirement, is in favor of it. (Don't judge this the wrong way, he's not weirdly chauvinistic, I promise.)
That is one of my internal struggles. The other has to do with meeting all of the local Muslimahs and trying to explain/stay true to my beliefs without offending anyone or being immediately cast out. This is such a big thing for me because although I have non-muslim friends (who are all away in college) and although I have communities online to turn to... I have no sisters to talk to. I have no one except my fiance who is akin to me. It's becoming very difficult not to have anyone with whom I can intelligently discuss Islam. I would love to be accepted into the local community, but I am at a total loss as to how to achieve this. Of course, all things Inshallah.If you wish to wear the hijab as a personal choice, why should it be a problem? Imo, it's your decision, knowing that it's not a requirement.
You can def go and check out the surroundings/environment, try to keep it low-key and gradually open up if you wish to later when you've scoped it out. Sometimes one finds friends in the strangest places, so maybe you'll find people or someone who understands and/or shares somewhat your beliefs. You'll never know unless you give it a go. Low key being the key word, this way even if wish to stay within the community for social reasons, you haven't rocked the boat much. Perhaps maybe with patience and discussions it might be a good learning and sharing opportunity if nothing else. Good luck and let us know how it works out for you )
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Hi anyafloris,
I don't believe in hijab, but I would put a headscarf on when going to a Friday prayer, for the simple reason that I do not want to offend people. And whether I agree with it or not, most people do think that it's mandatory for a woman to cover her head at a mosque.
You could take a scarf with you and place it over your head before entering, and take it off when you leave, many women do this.
My advice regarding getting involved with the local ummah, would be to take it easy. ) Don't expect too much or too little, approach people with an open heart and see what happens. You might feel you fit in or not, you might have interesting discussions, you might meet people whom you can connect with, you never know ...
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Peace be upon you,
with all due Respect.You can always find friends right here on this forum, God willing.
When it comes to hijab, you can always first seek the evidence in The Quran and then also talk to the imam of that local mosque and ask him where in The Quran does it say that hijab is necessary. Try to engage in a peaceful conversation and be patient.Of course, he might tell you that you should also follow hadith and don't be afraid of a challenge, sister, just ask questions which might lead this imam into thinking about comparing The Quran to those other hadith books. God knows, maybe he will accept Islam and follow Quran alone, God knows best.
Whatever the questions they ask, you don't have to answer immediately, you can always say you will give it some heavy thought. It's not an interogation, right?
God bless you all,
Peace. -
When it comes to hijab, you can always first seek the evidence in The Quran and then also talk to the imam of that local mosque and ask him where in The Quran does it say that hijab is necessary. Try to engage in a peaceful conversation and be patient.
Of course, he might tell you that you should also follow hadith and don't be afraid of a challenge, sister, just ask questions which might lead this imam into thinking about comparing The Quran to those other hadith books. God knows, maybe he will accept Islam and follow Quran alone, God knows best.
I would like to talk to the imam, also.. Everyone we have talked to seemed very nice, so I don't want to seem like I'm judging anyone unfairly - only trying to prepare myself.
As far as the hijab goes, I had been reading some of the other posts in the forum and how it unfortunately seems to take on a life of its own. I'm wondering if this is only in larger/tight-knit muslim communities? We are also considering moving out of the United States in a year or so, inshallah. Possibly to Morocco... I would have no reservations about wearing hijab there. Even though I find it personally comfortable and a good reminder, I just don't want to feel like I'm limiting myself unnecessarily..
Needless to say, I will definitely do much more listening than speaking and 'scope out' the local Ummah, since I really have no prior knowledge to work with. Inshallah I will be surprised. I will post about my first experience afterward...
Mashallah -
Thank you all for the input. Much appreciated.
Salaam.