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  4. Falling in love?

Falling in love?

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Issues / Questions
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  • A Offline
    A Offline
    Alen
    wrote on last edited by
    #8

    Of the top of my head I can't think of any verses in the Koran that would ban faling in love and even kissing before mariadge. If I am wrong than can someone corect me please?

    Thanks

    Peace,
    Respect.

    Kissing leads into sex, sometimes, not always.
    God knows Best.

    Peace.

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    • A Offline
      A Offline
      Ayisha
      wrote on last edited by
      #9

      Well kissing is sexual, so I would guess it would be haram.

      I kiss my kids and my friends and my husband hugs and kisses his friends. At a recent wedding I was kissed full on the lips by my husbands mother, aunt and gran. Kissing is only sexual if you have that in mind first

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      • C Offline
        C Offline
        Confused
        wrote on last edited by
        #10

        I kiss my kids and my friends and my husband hugs and kisses his friends. At a recent wedding I was kissed full on the lips by my husbands mother, aunt and gran. Kissing is only sexual if you have that in mind first

        Yes, but the kind of relationship I am talking about is different. It's not your aunt or uncle or cousin, it's a partner of the opposite sex who you are very attracted to. So obviously kissing will be sexual.

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        • A Offline
          A Offline
          Ayisha
          wrote on last edited by
          #11

          Yes, but the kind of relationship I am talking about is different. It's not your aunt or uncle or cousin, it's a partner of the opposite sex who you are very attracted to. So obviously kissing will be sexual.

          Good point and I had not read your opening post before I posted.

          I don't see how falling in love and having a non sexual relationship before marriage can be wrong, the alternative is you marry someone you don't know and don't love. Even here in Egypt the couple spend time and get to know each other before marriage but it's normally meetings with family present in another room.

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          • M Offline
            M Offline
            Mazhar
            wrote on last edited by
            #12

            Good point and I had not read your opening post before I posted.

            I don't see how falling in love and having a non sexual relationship before marriage can be wrong, the alternative is you marry someone you don't know and don't love. Even here in Egypt the couple spend time and get to know each other before marriage but it's normally meetings with family present in another room.

            May be it provides a guideline

            http//haqeeqat.org.pk/English%20Tafsir%20e%20Haqeeqat/00.Arabic%20Text/temp%2002%20%202.235.gif
            And there is nothing wrong in it for you people if you subtly indicate your interest to the women or keep it secret to your selves.
            http//haqeeqat.org.pk/English%20Tafsir%20e%20Haqeeqat/00.Arabic%20Text/temp%2002%20%202.235a.gif
            Allah knows that you will recall/remember them but do not allure them to lead them to promise except saying to them a normally acceptable statement in plain words of evident import.

            2235

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            • L Offline
              L Offline
              Leyna
              wrote on last edited by
              #13

              However, I noticed that most Muslims think that any relationship between the sexes, even if it is respectable and non-sexual to be against the teachings of Islam.

              And the believing males and the believing females, they are allies to one another.
              971

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              • E Offline
                E Offline
                Emil
                wrote on last edited by
                #14

                I noticed that most Muslims think that any relationship between the sexes, even if it is respectable and non-sexual to be against the teachings of Islam.

                I think that observation is spot-on evidence that culture gets implemented in religion. Seems to be closer you get to the Middle East, the stricter it is.....In Singapore where I spent many years I had many muslim girls as friends, we hung out just like any other kids would do...

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                • N Offline
                  N Offline
                  nerspi
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #15

                  how could falling in love be against islam... you're supposed to know the person you wanna be with, spend time with them, if you fall in love that's even better, it's how it's supposed to be...
                  you can't just marry someone right away the first day, then after a while you realize you don't love that person and can't stand them

                  May be it provides a guideline

                  http//haqeeqat.org.pk/English%20Tafsir%20e%20Haqeeqat/00.Arabic%20Text/temp%2002%20%202.235.gif
                  And there is nothing wrong in it for you people if you subtly indicate your interest to the women or keep it secret to your selves.
                  http//haqeeqat.org.pk/English%20Tafsir%20e%20Haqeeqat/00.Arabic%20Text/temp%2002%20%202.235a.gif
                  Allah knows that you will recall/remember them but do not allure them to lead them to promise except saying to them a normally acceptable statement in plain words of evident import.

                  2235

                  bravo

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                  • F Offline
                    F Offline
                    FAR
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #16

                    From
                    http//www.misconceptions-about-islam.com/muhammad-married-young-girl.htm

                    What does The Quran say on the age of marriage?

                    The Quran does not state a specific legal age of marriage, however it does give a guideline and mentions situations and conditions that should be considered before marriage

                    Determining mutual attraction/compatibility
                    Ascertaining whether the potential partner is of similar beliefs/faith
                    Discussion of and agreeing to the level of dower and other terms (if any)
                    Understanding and mutual acceptance of marriage as a solemn/strong oath/contract
                    If male, capable of providing for the family/household
                    To have physically matured / post-puberty

                    If the marriage is unsuccessful, one should also be capable of undertaking divorce proceedings, e.g. separation period, arbitration, discussion of settlement etc .

                    Thus, one can get to know another before marriage. If love blossoms, great.

                    Hear hear

                    Don't for get quran 53-5, if you can begin any thing, with allah's name. Then that is a recipe for a halal arrangement.

                    Quran 425 also mentions that if you do find someone, then he must inform your parents/folks/people or at least be courageous enough to do so. Since causing suspicion and back biting is a sin as in quran 4912

                    Falling in love you (original poster) say?

                    That might be against the quranic references on intoxication.

                    http//corpus.quran.com/qurandictionary.jsp?root=xmr#%285905%29

                    It (the chemical) sometimes befogs the mind similarly to alcohol (you find that person more attractive as you would when drunk), whereas over time the chemical will diminish and you will see that person without the aid of the chemical.

                    The best way to fall in love, is to fall in love with allah. That kind of love will stay as long as allah.

                    Of course the best way to find someone whom you work with. They way treat other people and yourself, would be a sign as to how the marriage would be.

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                    • L Offline
                      L Offline
                      Leyna
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #17

                      Falling in love you (original poster) say?

                      That might be against the quranic references on intoxication.

                      http//corpus.quran.com/qurandictionary.jsp?root=xmr#%285905%29

                      It (the chemical) sometimes befogs the mind similarly to alcohol (you find that person more attractive as you would when drunk), whereas over time the chemical will diminish and you will see that person without the aid of the chemical.

                      I would say there is a difference between using intoxicants such as alcohol or drugs, and the chemicals our body produces / releases.

                      Judging by your logic, exercising, meditating / praying, eating pasta or chocolate and many other activities where the body releases serotonine, endorphine etc. would also be haram.

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                      • U Offline
                        U Offline
                        unknownuser
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #18

                        Far, I don't think that love chemicals=wine. Because the literal interpretaion of the verse in the Quran is as far as I know is wine, not intoxicants.

                        Would you say that someone sufering from scizhophrenia shouldn't take his/her medication because it intoxicates the mind.

                        To control who you fal in love with would be very hard!

                        A lot of medication thats used by modern medicine intoxicates the system, were wine is used just for fun.

                        Thanks

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                        • F Offline
                          F Offline
                          FAR
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #19

                          I would say there is a difference between using intoxicants such as alcohol or drugs, and the chemicals our body produces / releases.

                          Judging by your logic, exercising, meditating / praying, eating pasta or chocolate and many other activities where the body releases serotonine, endorphine etc. would also be haram.

                          Judging by your reply, you don't trust my logic...

                          The chemical I referred to is that of oxytocin.

                          Far, I don't think that love chemicals=wine. Because the literal interpretaion of the verse in the Quran is as far as I know is wine, not intoxicants.

                          Would you say that someone sufering from scizhophrenia shouldn't take his/her medication because it intoxicates the mind.

                          To control who you fal in love with would be very hard!

                          A lot of medication thats used by modern medicine intoxicates the system, were wine is used just for fun.

                          Thanks

                          I don't know what you mean by "literal interpretation", there's no such thing. The quran is in arabic, and all meanings used by the root is referred to.

                          Love is controllable as is worship.

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                          • A Offline
                            A Offline
                            Ayisha
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #20

                            Judging by your reply, you don't trust my logic...

                            The chemical I referred to is that of oxytocin.

                            I don't know what you mean by "literal interpretation", there's no such thing. The quran is in arabic, and all meanings used by the root is referred to.
                            This is a natural chemical that Allah gave us just like any other in our body it is needed and used. Are you saying that this natural chemical that Allah gave us should not be used or is dangerously intoxicating to us and against Quran?

                            Love is controllable as is worship.

                            If you're an unfeeling unemotional robot, yes.

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                            • C Offline
                              C Offline
                              CavemanDoctor
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #21

                              Judging by your reply, you don't trust my logic...

                              The chemical I referred to is that of oxytocin.

                              All conscious experience, while on the physical plane, is mediated by one set of chemicals or another. There can never be no neurochemistry, only different sets of neurochemistry. You're essentially saying that to be human is to be acting unlawfully.

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