What are the important factors in a marriage relationship
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I would like to think that if one is a quran-aloner than he/she already possesses those qualities. At least.... its a pleasing fantasy land that houses those thoughts. D
But maybe though it is more important that i just learn to put my trust in God for these and all matters and to learn and exercise patience.
Oh by the way, are you all sure its the thing to do, to devote ones love as much to others as to God?
Buuut than again, thats more like just a stiff "practical" argument from me, designed more to just be..... annoying ignore.D
Interesting question. D I do feel that it's a responsibility to help others and that it's more beneficial to love since God created these people and in fact all of the creatures...it seems logical to love them and care for them. But I don't think you can compare love for others with love for God. It's a totally different thing. I also think it's good to work for others as much as possible but I don't know if that is a value I've brought from my previous life (D) or if that is in Islam and I don't have time to look it up right now, lol. Perhaps its not? Again, that is something that fluctuates. When you need to be more insular you can be; when you feel able to help others - why not do it? As I said, it seems logical that we should.
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I agree with that too. Life is full of constant change and fluctuations. I used to be a person who was involved in many things, doing a lot for others etc. Then I went through hard emotional times and I retreated a lot. I wondered who the other person was, but again things changed and I notice I am becoming more ''outward' (? lol) again. I think time for yourself is needed, as you said, in our daily life as well as on the bigger scale.
Also seclusion can be depressing but also depression (and sadness) can be secluding.
True. Depression also sometimes causes someone to retreat into themselves. It's good to hear that you've become more outward again ;D.
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Is loving God and loving others synonymous? Isn't that what (or part of) what loving God is? Submitting to his attributes/characteristics?
I agree with that too. Life is full of constant change and fluctuations. I used to be a person who was involved in many things, doing a lot for others etc. Then I went through hard emotional times and I retreated a lot. I wondered who the other person was, but again things changed and I notice I am becoming more ''outward' (? lol) again. I think time for yourself is needed, as you said, in our daily life as well as on the bigger scale.
Also seclusion can be depressing but also depression (and sadness) can be secluding.
Speaking from experience, sometimes we get into rut and feel as if there is no getting up/past things that happen to us , but time, time heals all wounds. Just focus on what makes you laugh, what makes you happy, and everything will be a-ok.
It depends on your 'form' of seclusion. Sometimes I like to just interact with nature alone (e.g. watching ducklings do their thing by the lake), or read, or create stories, turning off the rest of the world while I do this.
Point being, seclusion can also bring peace.
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Point being, seclusion can also bring peace.
Agreed.
Aloneness, is beautiful. when you can enjoy your own company when you can observe everything and be joyed by it i.e. ducks, ants, trees, shadows, closing your eyes and just imagining, listening to your thoughts, your breathing.. or whatever it may be
Having a balance of being in a relationship and enjoying your own alone time would be sweet.
don't recall if anyone said it but showing affection is important
peace
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and @ San - yes, good points.
what? the cookies?
Agreed.
Aloneness, is beautiful. when you can enjoy your own company when you can observe everything and be joyed by it i.e. ducks, ants, trees, shadows, closing your eyes and just imagining, listening to your thoughts, your breathing.. or whatever it may be
agreed. ducks, ants, trees, shadows... those are the important factors in a marriage relationship
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hey.. i'm young & fresh!
that aside, yeh i'm getting tired of fortune cookies chit-chats hypno OK i'll quit this thread, since i just realized that i'm not even qualified to reply to the OP
Communication, trust, love, mercy, forgiveness... what are the ingredients to a happy marriage in your opinion and how do you strive to keep those qualitites in your marriage ??
Admit it guys... just how many of you here have ever tasted marriage? let's leave it to the experienced ones
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Agreed.
Aloneness, is beautiful. when you can enjoy your own company when you can observe everything and be joyed by it i.e. ducks, ants, trees, shadows, closing your eyes and just imagining, listening to your thoughts, your breathing.. or whatever it may be
Having a balance of being in a relationship and enjoying your own alone time would be sweet.
don't recall if anyone said it but showing affection is important )
peace
Yes to alone time and a BIG yes to affection...not too much though lol. - yes, balance
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Once upon a time in a summer romance, after being with her the whole day for a few days in a row i told her i wanted a few hours or a day by myself. She got angry and wanted to break up. It took me several hours to explain myself. After that i was even more tired.
Though nothing bad about her, shes a great gal.
Its just that alone time can be important, but i think it depends on the difference in attraction between the two. Cause ive been on the opposite end of that situation too in a previous relationship where i was the one who was more attracted and wanted to spend more time but she didnt.
Just personal experience, but anyone else think that the level of attraction should be somewhat equal?
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Once upon a time in a summer romance, after being with her the whole day for a few days in a row i told her i wanted a few hours or a day by myself. She got angry and wanted to break up. It took me several hours to explain myself. After that i was even more tired.
Though nothing bad about her, shes a great gal.
Its just that alone time can be important, but i think it depends on the difference in attraction between the two. Cause ive been on the opposite end of that situation too in a previous relationship where i was the one who was more attracted and wanted to spend more time but she didnt.
Just personal experience, but anyone else think that the level of attraction should be somewhat equal?
I shouldn't laugh but that is a tricky one. Everyone is different I guess. I haven't really had that problem, I mean of different time needs, but I do know people who have and it's hard for them. It's so subjective that it's hard to say anyone is right or wrong. Still if the relationship is going somewhere...i.e. if you are married or planning to get married then you have to be able to spend quite a lot of time together (not all hamdulillah ) otherwise how will it work?
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Communication, trust, love, mercy, forgiveness... what are the ingredients to a happy marriage in your opinion and how do you strive to keep those qualitites in your marriage ??
Peace,
Respect.I believe it's best if the young couple has a place of their own, I really am not a fan of them living with the parents of one of them, that's really a minus in my book. Get a place of your own, that's the first step and the second is easy - get a job to support yourself. Don't live of the government, that's another minus in my book.
Of course, I'm not married yet becuase we seem to have a major issue here.
I can't marry a polytheist and it seems to me that Qur'an aloners are missing ....?Peace.
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Of course, I'm not married yet becuase we seem to have a major issue here.
I can't marry a polytheist and it seems to me that Qur'an aloners are missing ....?
Peace.Salaam Alen. Yeah there aren't many. Where I live it's hard to find any Muslim to marry. It's a small town and most men here are already married or too young lol. If I added another stipulation, that they must be Quran alone Muslims, it would be impossible. That's ok, a quiet life will be nice laugh
InshAllah you will meet your match - I hope everyone on here who wants to marry will be guided. It's terrible shame otherwise (
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I shouldn't laugh but that is a tricky one. Everyone is different I guess. I haven't really had that problem, I mean of different time needs, but I do know people who have and it's hard for them. It's so subjective that it's hard to say anyone is right or wrong. Still if the relationship is going somewhere...i.e. if you are married or planning to get married then you have to be able to spend quite a lot of time together (not all hamdulillah D) otherwise how will it work?
Yeah i guess, never had experience from marriage or very long time relationships, maybe this is something thats more common in those useless youngster relationships that are going nowhere. But its a real factor though, i allways notice that with almost everyone, the difference in attraction that is.
Question is why be in a relationship that is not completely or at least allmost mutual in that case? Think its this "modern" culture with using sex as if it was a snickers bar or something. -
Opposites usually attract complementing each other thus come to a balance and don?t compete.
Fast paced control authority types usually pair well with slow paced laid back consultative people.
Example Hillary & Bill Clinton (she's definitely the boss! lol)
http//news2.in/wp-content/uploads/Hillary-Clinton-Bill-Clinton-Chelsea-150x150.jpg
Other extreme ? slow paced perfectionists pair well with fast paced attention seekers/entertainers.
Example conservative models attracted to flamboyant rock stars ???
http//img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/11_04/jagger1970DM_468x601.jpg
Lastly, would say to marry the mother/father of your children is usually an important factor.
Peace