How i came to find the truth
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well i was raised in a very religious home, and as the son of a christian minister, i was inundated with church functions and surrounded by everything that has to do with the bible. i was also raised to have a very deep respect for the founding of the US, its foundational documents, and the history that surrounded it.
i grew up in the back woods, and we had a wood stove, so in the winter i would spend hrs on end near the stove reading. in our household we had a huge library for a somewhat humble family, so i picked up whatever caught my eye and devoured each page. many times i would fall asleep and find my mother had walked me to bed.
we were also home schooled, so we didn't get the same dull education as the other kids in the township. our education was very complete, and if we wanted to learn ouside of the curriculum we were always encouraged to do so.
for the short time we were in the public school system, i noticed they spent very little time on the history of the antiquities, so i have always had a soft spot for ancient history and knowing what really happened deep in the past, where we came from and what cool facts there were about ancient civilizations. my two favorite topics of interest were the Egyptians and the Sumerians, since neither one were given more than a paragraph in public school.
well, at the age of 17, i was sort of pushed out into the world. my father thought it would be a good idea to put me in school, so i went to college to study religion. while i was there i did pretty good for the first coupe of years, but something was missing. the classes they had on apologetics and other doctrinal classes were confusing. they made no sense. it was as if we were supposed to allow ourselves to be willingly brainwashed to tell people lies. they also had a very negative outlook on Islam. the attitude was to try and win them to conversion rather than really try to understand what their Qur'an was saying. later i found that a lot of the presumptions about Islam were complete lies and fabrications, but at that time i knew little of it except that they were wrong and needed Jesus. so i grew weary of school and decided to join the military. i dropped out and went to the army, where my life journey really took off.
i wanted to travel the world, be all i could be, and then some. so i thought maybe i could have my cake and eat it too.
i decided to join the national guard. after basic training and AIT, i got to participate in a lot of really interesting projects here in the US. as a result i was really on my own away from my family, away from religious peer pressure, and ready to party. so i got my feet wet, or rather i should say i jumped in with both feet. from then on for a long time it was women, drink and music. i was a party animal and loved it.
but it was not all fun and games. while i was there i took the officers placement battery, which was a measure of how good a candidate i would make for officers school. i aced it, top of the state. well the idea of OCS didn't really appeal to me, because i wanted to finish my degree in something, so i went to a local campus and was dead set on getting a degree in military science, focusing on military history through the ROTC program. i showed my face as often as i could, made friends with the professors, and was guaranteed a scholarship to become an officer in the army. then just a week before i would have begun my first classes, the funding was pulled by the state. so i decided i would transfer from the national guard, to the full time army.
they give you a wish list of places you want to go, so i put Germany down and my second choice was something i cant even remember now. well i got Germany no problem. and i was ecstatic. i was finally going to see Germany and the places of history there. i knew it was going to be a great trip.
when i first got there it was the dead of winter, so there was not much to do. i stayed to myself most of the time, and just tried to recover from jet lag, until eventually i was ready to hit the town. i went out after the orientation classes to mingle with the locals at the off base clubs. and this went on for a few weeks until i got assigned a unit.
once i went to my unit, spring began to peek out from behind the snow. little did i know i was walking into a very interesting chapter of my life at that point, but it was just the beginning.
i began to adjust to the day to day soldiering in the army, the weekend routine of clubs and dancing and alcohol. and i wanted something mroe than that. so on a suggestion from a few friends, i decided to go with them to see Nuremburg. what a city that was. red light districts, bars, pubs, outdoor beer gardens, you name it, everything was ripe for the picking. we strolled the city streets, looking at everything, snapping pictures like a buch of dumb tourists and enjoying the sights. then we decided it was time to visit one of the smaller clubs to see if we could pick up some girls. well that's where i met my ex wife. she actually was checking me out more than i was her. she didnt speak the best english, but i didnt care about that, it was fun to talk to someone from a different culture. so we hit it off.
eventually she came to visit me at the barracks. i was one of the few guys who had his own room, so she used to come over for the weekends and hang out with me.
one thing led to another and before you know it we were closer than just a dating couple. then one day, she told me she missed her period and i was floored. i was scared, but i was also excited. i was going to be a father.
so we made a lot of plans with her parents on getting the arrangements ready for a wedding. not exactly a shotgun wedding, but it was not really thought through on my part. i just wanted to do the right thing and start a family, and was blind to the problems that were already there.
eventually we went through with the wedding, and moved off base to a house in the country side. life seemed good. i had a wife, a home and a car and soon we would have a baby of our own. this was how it was supposed to be, right?
well then the orders came down for Bosnia. the former Yugoslavia had split up into several states that became warring factions, and we were finally going in to hep stabilize the region. i had to leave my new wife behind and go into a deadly war zone.
in Bosnia, i learned that the majority of people there were Muslim. well it just so happened we had a translator who was Muslim, so i got to talk to him about a lot of things pertaining to his experience as a Muslim. he was not the most religious man i ever met, in fact he explained that he was merely ethnically Muslim, and not really a devout believer. this was my first introduction to the difference between being Muslim and being born into a Muslim family. in fact he admitted that before the war, they would have barbecues with people of different ethnic backgrounds and even eat pork ribs and drink beer in the summer. well to me that sounded like a bunch of southern baptists. so i joked him about that.
now there were still a lot of practicing Muslims in the region, so it was very common early in the morning to hear the call to prayer from at least 5 different mosques over a loud speaker. often i would mimic the call to prayer and say the words "Allah u akbar, Allah u akbar, Ashhadu an la ilaha illa Allah, Ashhadu an la ilaha illa Allah, Ashadu anna Muhammadan Rasool Allah, Ashadu anna Muhammadan Rasool Allah..." but this was about all i had learned about Islam. usually this would land a pillow from a fellow soldier on my head for waking them up rudely. basically i knew the people were nice, not the terrorists we are told they are, and they really cared about family values. this was the first turning point in my view of Islam.
once i got back from Bosnia, i was shocked to find there was a really huge mismanagement of my savings account. i was left with little more than enough to get a decent used car, which i really needed, and not much else. i found my wife had been spending it all on her friends, clubs and other nonsense and i was furious. so we began having problems.
eventually i got out of the army, but i was still full time reserve in Germany. so i had to get a second job to be able to afford living on the German economy. this took me away from the home almost as much as Bosnia had. it also intensified the problems my marriage had. soon enough, i found my wife had run away with a soldier in another unit and was cheating on me. i was young and idealistic at the time, so i thought i could win her back, and i worked for a while, but i could see that in order to make it stick we had to move to the US. so i took her with me.
in the states, i landed a job at a major supplier for Boeing. i was a heat treat specialist of aluminum sheet, the same stuff that makes the skin of airplanes and helicopters. life was back to normal. i had everything i ever dreamed of. it seemed as if our old troubles were gone and life could go on, but i was just delaying the inevitable. my wife never really was ready for marriage, let alone motherhood, and soon the old problems i thought i had fixed resurfaced over time.
eventually it led to a very messy separation and divorce, one i do not ever wish to repeat. but that was not all. while i was working 12-16 hours a day, my wife had been working her mischief and had my family believing i was the bad guy. that i was a devil worshiper and a drug addict. nothing was further from the truth. i worked, went home, slept and went back to work. my life had no time for games, but she had ulterior motives.
so she had succeeded in turning my whole family and friends network against me. my grandmother didn't want to help me, neither did the friends we had shared. and eventually i was fired from my job. everything came crashing down at once. i was disowned by my relatives and homeless in a few months.
while i was trying to get on my feet again, she had moved on, had a new boyfriend and was planning to marry him, and have him adopt our son. and i had no idea.
eventually her true colors were revealed and she was put out, but i still had no idea. in her desperation, she put our son up for adoption, and joined the air force. she never tried to contact me or anything, she just did it and left.
when i found out i was so heartbroken, it was then that my family and friends finally admitted they were wrong, and they had been fooled. since my son was gone, and i had no leads, i began to fall deep into depression. my only option i could think of was to get as far away from these bad memories and pain as i could. so i moved from one side of the US to the other.
i went to Detroit. there i found more trouble. i lost my money, my drivers license, my birth certificate, and my SSN card. so to get a job, i had to find one under the table. i had a new girlfriend and she seemed to be a good one. very supportive and very affectionate. after some time scraping money together, we moved to a better apartment and i began to rebuild my life.
this was the beginning of my first real internal journey.
well things with her didn't last more than 3 years, and after a time she was cheating too. so i made up my mind i was going to be by myself for a while and try and figure out why i kept making these mistakes with women.
instead of really finding that out, i absorbed as much literature as i could. i learned how to build computers, i read about DNA, religions, philosophy, and ancient history. i even took time to try and learn how to read hieroglyphics. i painted, listened to music, and used the time i had to send off for replacements of my personal documents. this i learned later was part of internal jihad, and one of a few times i actually applied myself to it.
it was in this self examination time period that one day i woke up to see a plane crash into one of the twin towers in Manhattan. immediately i knew something was terribly wrong, and the ignorantly happy chatter of the news personalities about an accident was not even close to the truth. this was deliberate. and i was dumbfounded as the events of the day unfolded. i like many was glued to my couch watching the world fall apart before my eyes. after that things began to be very difficult financially. and my once steady job began to give me less and less hours. i had to find a better job soon.
eventually i got a better job with another heat treating company, this time a steel company. it was the same basic idea, just the metal was different. well that lasted 8 months, and after 9/11 it seemed that companies were folding left and right. Detroit was becoming less and less favorable by the day. i had to move or face homelessness once again.
so i packed my car, and left a note for the landlord, and moved to Baltimore. boy did i ever make a mistake in that choice, or so i thought.
at first it seemed as if i could just wing it and things would be ok. for a month i struggled to get on my feet. i would usually start the day going to a local temp agency, if that didn't pan out, i would go stand with the Latinos for pickup work. if that didn't work i would hack all day until i made some money. eventually i landed a carpet laying job that payed well enough. and things were looking up. i met a new friend who agreed to let me stay at their place til i could get my own, and i showed up for work every day with a great attitude.
then one evening, i lost my phone. it was Friday night. i needed my phone so my boss could contact me Monday. so i got in my car to retrace my steps. i started down the street and was trying to think of where i could have left it. i came to a stop light and stopped. when it turned green, i began to inch through slowly. i drove a stick, so it didnt just go from 0 to 60 quite as fast as i wanted it, but i got it into 2nd right before i was halfway through and WHAM!!!
another driver had plowed right into me, turned my car 90 degrees and slammed into a credit union. i was dazed. my legs were numb and i could not find my balance once i got out of the car. i was a mess.
the other driver was stunned sitting in her car with the airbag in her face but i didn't really notice much else. it was surreal.
a cop came over to ask me what happened, and soon after an ambulance showed up. i explained how i was starting to move through the intersection from a stop, once the light turned green and then out of nowhere this other car hit me.
he was not buying my story, it was obvious, and he didnt really press the issue, but the paramedic was adamant that i had to be intoxicated. i said no, but he would not believe me. so then he said i had to be on drugs. all i could think was what is going on here? i said no again and he insisted i was some sort of junkie. it was as if he was trying to convince me i was high. then he said he could use a syringe he had with a cocktail in it to burn out anything i had in my system and that jolted me to full alert!
i said as boldly and clearly as i could "you get that damned syringe away from me, and go away right now. i dont want your help, i dont know whats in that thing, and i dont trust you to examine me. i will go to the VA hospital in the morning sir. have a good night!"
with that he backed up like i had just pointed a pistol at him and put his hands up. then the cop issued me a citation and let me go. my car was totaled. it would not even start, all the tiers were blown and the frame was bent. it was obvious i could not do anything with it any more. so i walked the few blocks i had to go to get back to my friends place, and told them what happened. the next day my adrenaline wore off and i was in extreme pain. i could barely walk without help, and i went to the VA hospital to get looked at. i was ok, but really weak and really sore. so i lay down the rest of the weekend with no pone and no car. then i got sick. since i was on the couch and it wa near the front soor. any time someone came in, i got blasted by cold air, and eventually i got sick.
this friend decided i was a health risk and took me to a shelter. once again i was homeless, when i had worked so hard to keep from it.
the shelter was for veterans. so it was a lot different from your average shelter. there was structure, rank and even duties. it was not quite like the military, but close enough for me to feel somewhat at home. and for the most part it was safe, unlike a lot of shelters. i could have done much worse.
i stayed there for 2 years. i would have liked to leave before 2 years, but this shelter was also a program for drug and alcohol rehabilitation. my problem was neither of those, but i was still required to go through the motions and do what everyone else did. so the process was overly tedious and drawn out. it was as if they didn't want people to really recover from their problems. later i found out that was true. it was just a racket with a fancy facade to capitalize on the needy and desperate. so i set out to get a job as quickly as they would allow me to and vowed i would get out of the trap i was in as fast as possible.
i was exposed to islam again during my time there.
one exposure was to a very devout Muslim who didn't say much, but it was apparent he took his 5 pillars very seriously. his ablutions, his prayers, salat, even his manner and dress were markedly different from everyone else. he really did practice his faith. this was the first time i saw someone practicing regularly over an extended period of time. even though i had no idea what he was reading, it was music to my ears. but it was not much more than a passing curiosity. i never asked to learn more from him, but i marveled at it.
the job i found was a security job at a very well known hospital. i fit in well there and i was admired and even pegged for promotion fairly quickly. i went from being an inside guard to outside in less than a year, and i had opportunity then to volunteer for special duties.
one such duty was the often sought after assignment to the prince of the UAE. his family had renovated a special wing of the hospital just for his use, and when i was able to be assigned to that wing, i got to see a royal Islamic family up close. his family was very down to earth, not snobbish, like the British or other Europeans. they dressed very plain, were polite, and didn't force their will on anyone. if they had food, they shared it. often times when they ate, they would invite me to eat with them, and since i could not leave my post, they instead prepared me a table of my own and wheeled it out on a silver platter with every imaginable delicacy on it. i was literally eating like a king. and what i could not eat, they put in containers for me so i could take it home. i was truly their guest, and treated just as a friend would be. i also got to see him in person once. he had trouble breathing sometimes, so his wife had to help get any blockage out of the way for him to keep from suffocating. once i was asked to help. and when he could breathe again, even though he could not speak, he looked me in the eyes and his eyes said "thank you brother" and fell asleep content. i will never forget that.
those two experiences of seeing Muslims, one poor, and the others rich, with no apparent difference between them from the outside, or their manner, really showed me a glimpse of what Islam really is. and from that point on it was burned into my mind. Muslims are truly Gods people.
but still i didn't think Islam was for me. just because good Muslims had shared food with me, or shown me they could maintain their faith was not something that made me want to look any deeper yet. i was content in knowing they were good and that was good enough.
i eventually left that job and worked inside the hospital in the OR. that job lasted for a while, but after 2 years, i was fired again and before i knew it i was homeless once again. this 3rd time was the hardest of them all. it was the dead of winter, and i bounced between shelters, friends houses, and sleeping in the cold out on the streets. this time i knew it was not a fluke, or because i was careless. something was wrong. terribly wrong. the economy was crumbling and i was a victim. this time i had just enough time and foresight to plan for my homelessness. i put everything in a storage unit that i could carry. not by a car or truck, but by duffel bag. i rode the bus in several trips to carry my bags until all the essential items i would need later were safely locked away.
i struggled to get back off the streets for 4 months, and finally made it. i got a place again, held a job, and began to rebuild my life all over again. i wanted to know why the economy had failed me. i began to search for answers. eventually i got my computer back on the internet and began to explore events. everything from 9/11 to the housing bubble began to fit together. it was obvious that someone was out to do us all in.
but one of the questions i had was why did they single out certain groups? why Muslims? why constitutionalists? why patriots and people preparing for WROL?
then it hit me. every one of these all believe in the same thing. rights with limitations. my rights end where yours begin. it was simple concept and even though i was on the very edge of the truth i still didn't really grasp it fully.
so i went from forum to forum, posting mt collected wisdom, my opinions on things, and often met with disapproval from my conclusions, but i gained respect for my views and equanimity.
one day a person made a comment about how they thought Islam and socialism were joined at the hip. immediately i jumped in to defend Islam. in my experience i had not seen one indication that real Muslims were socialists or even terrorists, but i didn't really have enough information or proof to make an argument. so i set out to go to the source and see what Islam had to say about it.
i began to read the Qur'an, look into the meanings of words that many misunderstand and armed myself for battle. each time i found out more and more. it was as if i was a starving man engorging himself on truth. and that is when i realized. after all these years of struggling in the personal Jihad, the creator had guided me, and now my own personal values were identical to everything that was in the Qur'an.
i was a Muslim and didn't even know it.
Alhamdulillah! He is indeed the most merciful and gracious.
since then i have fed on as much information, videos, and reading as i can to learn more of this wonderful way of life. i have decided now that i must begin to practice Islam completely. i find nothing i can object to in the Qur'an. it is the truth.
i'm finding that my built in need to have a family is right in line with the Qur'an. that the right to personal protection is right in line with the Qur'an. that fighting against tyranny is right in line with the Quran. that i grew my beard for a reason, even though i thought i was just being practical. that the reason i got that shemagh was not to be fashionable, but there is a real reason behind it. that i dont have to feel out of place any more because i abstain from drugs or alcohol. that my chastity was for a reason. how my abstaining from using credit is correct also. everything i was raised to believe in or Allah guided me to do as i began to really grow up, is right there in the Qur'an. the answers are all there, to every objection i had, every question. i just needed that missing piece of the puzzle. the one true eternal creator and His prescription for our lives.
how beautiful. how complete. how awesome.
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i am getting very close to 40. isn't that great? God made sure he got to me before i turned 40!
my life is nowhere near an action movie. much of the time, was devoted to reflection and study. and the times i was close to death or could have been killed it was obvious that Allah was preserving me for a purpose when i looked at it later.
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than you all for reading. and i know the shemagh is not required, but the beard for me is. one thing i always knew from exposure to Muslims was that to be taken seriously, you had a beard as a male. and it fits me. i have been growing a beard since i was going through puberty and only cut it once i enlisted in the army. when i got out i grew it back for good.
the shemagh was something i picked up in my travels, and i hung onto it as a symbol to myself of struggling for justice. so now it remains as a personal symbol.
as far as my personal life being easy all of the sudden, its not. in fact i am going through some problems right now with my employer. nobody said everything would be smooth sailing once you decide to submit to God. in fact the opposite is usually true. it is a test.
N' Shallah i will make it through this test.
one thing i wanted to add to this post is that i also read a lot about our founding fathers during my several periods of reflection. one thing that sticks out is the more they matured, the more worldliness they sacrificed for the sake of pleasing God and bettering themselves. two figures i studied in depth were Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson.
if you really look at their lives and how they eventually grew and conducted themselves, you might even come to the same conclusion that i did and many others have. They didn't know it, but they were Muslim. and it reflected in their daily lives, their ideas, and ultimately in the two Documents that birthed America the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of the US. the principles there are directly in line with the Qur'an.
Both claimed to be Deists. which is simply believing there is one Creator of the whole universe, and that reason and intellect, or logic should be used to determine facts about religious figures such as Jesus. this is very similar to the teachings in the Qur'an. they even rejected the deity of Christ and in many cases focused on the logic of his teachings. Benjamin Franklin eventually made himself a list of things he consistently did in order to contact God on a daily basis and improve himself. he believed it was an ongoing process. this list of things is very similar to the principles of Islam. They also rejected the doctrines of the various churches of the time as ludicrous and contradictory, much like we all do when we really look at how silly some of the doctrines of the church are. Jefferson even went as far as taking the teachings of Jesus in the Gospels and arranging them in chronological order to show "the most sublime and benevolent code of morals which has ever been offered to man."
of course there is a lot of other details in their lives, and some of the ideas of Deism that dont quite fit into the teachings of Islam, but since they did not know about the Qur'an, and were truly doing their best to live as best they could, they were obviously as close to true believers as you could find in the earliest days of American culture. they were also quite a contrast to the Christians of their day. in fact i think it is safe to say they were often times more moral than their Christian counterparts.
it is my true belief that God guided these men and placed HIS principles in their hearts in order that they would share these ideas with their peers, and form the two most revered documents in the history of the United States. this ultimately is the seed that was planted to make the way clear for all of us to come to Islam in this nation.
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Salaam bro,
as far as my personal life being easy all of the sudden, its not. in fact i am going through some problems right now with my employer. nobody said everything would be smooth sailing once you decide to submit to God. in fact the opposite is usually true. it is a test.
There will not be sudden change in you nor your life, but facing problems? I believe "Facing problems" are not from Allah. If it is a test, it cannot be a "PROBLEM" otherwise it will be called an "AZAAB ".
440
440 Indeed, Allah does not wrong/injustice the weight of an atom; and if it is good He will double it. And He grants from Himself a great recompense.
1044
1044 Allah does not wrong the people in the least, but it is the people who wrong themselves.
The above aayat is for the mankind. But the aayat below is for believers and wrong doers.
4521
4521 Or do those who work evil expect that We would treat them the same as those who believe and do good works, in their present life and their death? Miserable is how they judge.
May Allah guide us all towards the truth pr
Mohammed M. Khan -
let me clarify, i am struggling with injustice from my employer. he is an independent contractor for a larger nationwide company. that's what he told this company anyway, but the truth is that since 3 of them share the profits secretly from this company, he allowed the other two to dictate how the rest of us are treated. so it was their bright idea to short the rest of us a half a paychecks worth of income, and they all pocket the other half we are supposed to get.
now since he is posing as the sole owner of his independent contract, those of us that didn't know it demanded raises. well it was promised, then he skirted the issue and now it is obvious it will never happen. so they continued to get greedy til two of us that were getting abused decided to leave. now there is even more work and no way possible to complete it all without breaking the company's strict policies.
so yesterday they got the 7 day warning. usually that is only a formality and its a signal they are going to end the contract anyway. so they are going to lose the contract. well instead of them wising up and deciding they should quit using the rest of us, now they use intimidation, even more sneakiness and even try to appease us with small refunds for travel, etc. its too late however.
so that is what i mean by problem. i am looking for a new job right now since now that i know the truth i cant even be associated with these people.
last night i got a suggestion from one of the guys who works for another contractor in the same company, but he pays what he is supposed to pay, if fair, and so far i have not heard any complaints about him as a boss, so i will be talking to him as soon as possible.
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Salaam brother,
let me clarify, i am struggling with injustice from my employer. he is an independent contractor for a larger nationwide company. that's what he told this company anyway, but the truth is that since 3 of them share the profits secretly from this company, he allowed the other two to dictate how the rest of us are treated. so it was their bright idea to short the rest of us a half a paychecks worth of income, and they all pocket the other half we are supposed to get.
now since he is posing as the sole owner of his independent contract, those of us that didn't know it demanded raises. well it was promised, then he skirted the issue and now it is obvious it will never happen. so they continued to get greedy til two of us that were getting abused decided to leave. now there is even more work and no way possible to complete it all without breaking the company's strict policies.
so yesterday they got the 7 day warning. usually that is only a formality and its a signal they are going to end the contract anyway. so they are going to lose the contract. well instead of them wising up and deciding they should quit using the rest of us, now they use intimidation, even more sneakiness and even try to appease us with small refunds for travel, etc. its too late however.
so that is what i mean by problem. i am looking for a new job right now since now that i know the truth i cant even be associated with these people.
last night i got a suggestion from one of the guys who works for another contractor in the same company, but he pays what he is supposed to pay, if fair, and so far i have not heard any complaints about him as a boss, so i will be talking to him as soon as possible.
Thanks for clarifying it.
I suggest you to seek Allah help on EACH STEP you take. Allah is the all Knowledgeable and Listener.
And remember the aayaats quoted above in my previous post. IF you are believer, then surely you will treated differently EVERYWHERE as said in 4521 above. And if any problem comes to you again that means there is some problem from your side as mentioned in 1044. So, keep your eyes wide open. InshaAllah, you will be happy soon.
May Allah help you and guide us all towards the Truth pr
Mohammed M. Khan -
Selam Joseph and welcome to the forum. I normaly don't read stories as long as yours but in this case I did. Sory to hear you were homeless, that must have been very hard. The good thing is that you have remained honest and a good person.
Do you go to mosks these days and do you consider your self Quran only muslim. If you do consider your self Quran only and go to mosks as well other muslims know about it? You know where do you stand?
Thanks
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to answer your question, i have just decided to submit, obey, surrender and learn peace from Allah not very long ago, so i have not found a masjid that i know beyond the shadow of a doubt teaches the clear teachings of the Qur'an. this is not something i am taking lightly. i want to make sure i am fully grounded in the correct way. i dont want to join a local masjid and find out they are squabbling over Hadith or claiming to be this or that, i just want to meet people who simply say "i have chosen to submit to the creator and believe that the Qur'an is the best possible prescription for life". i dont really care for Hadith, those are stories, and often times in my mind they are the same as wives tales, something that even the bible warned against. i dont believe it is wise to take a separate name to belong to "unique" sect or division, doing this means you are deliberately committing Fitnah. isnt it good enough to say "i am Muslim"? isn't it good enough to say "the Qur'an is God's word and that is good enough for me"?
even though i understand the principles behind the 5 pillars, it is very difficult for me to actually practice even the salat right now. logistically my work does not allow for the many breaks i would need to take in order to wash and partake in salat. i often times dont even get a chance to eat a real meal and must do so while i am driving. this has become a huge issue for me, since i want to obey, but i am restricted from doing so. this is another reason i really want to find other employment. there are so many negative aspects to my work, that i cannot reconcile the job i have now with actively practicing Islam. it really is to the point where i would have to choose between work and salat. i dont like this kind of quandary. since the job i do is so demanding and is prohibitive of doing what i should, then it has to go.
even though i enjoy reading the Qur'an, viewing videos of sheiks and other scholars about Islam, i know this is only scratching the surface. i need a community of fellow believers, its not natural to simply be an internet Muslim. after all where is the personal friendship? how can i go to someone on the web all the time if i have a real pressing matter i need help with? i think we can all agree it is better to be a part of a community of believers than to be isolated.
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I don't think that you will find a masjid that doesn't teach the hadith. Internet is the only solution, hopefuly a temporary solution only. I recomend you get a book Natural republic by the monotheist group. They have taken verses about prayers from the Quran only and came up with only three prayers in a day. The midle prayer you can pray within a window of many hours.
I strongly recomend the book. Anyway, I need to start praying to inshallah.
Thanks
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getting up every day and going to work earning a honest living, taking care of your family and community that's practicing islam. speaking for myself....quitting my job so i can pray is not what will make me a righteous person earning my wings. i am sure God understands everyone's situation and He makes it clear that he does not want to impose hardship on us. i pray while walking, driving, eating, well... throughout the day.
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i do the same, in fact on the weekends i fast similarly to what one would do during Ramadan. and i devote the bulk of the weekend to spiritual study. i also think about how Islam applies to my life throughout the day, and pray to/ worship Allah all day during work. often times i hum a contemporary Muslim tune, or repeat the words to myself. and i have found i am much happier and at peace with others just by doing these things. and a genuine smile doesn't hurt.
since i have made the conscious decision to follow the will of the creator, things are for the most part falling in place.
now of course i dont always go unhindered through the day, sometimes people look at me weirdly, i have even had some say i look like a terrorist since i have a beard. instead of taking offense, i just talk to them with the same respect or even better than i did before i decided to follow the creator. this usually diffuses these ignorant comments and they realize they have nothing to worry about.
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Salam & welcome
. so on a suggestion from a few friends, i decided to go with them to see Nuremburg. what a city that was. red light districts, bars, pubs, outdoor beer gardens, you name it, everything was ripe for the picking. we strolled the city streets, looking at everything, snapping pictures like a buch of dumb tourists and enjoying the sights. then we decided it was time to visit one of the smaller clubs to see if we could pick up some girls. well that's where i met my ex wife. she actually was checking me out more than i was her. she didnt speak the best english, but i didnt care about that, it was fun to talk to someone from a different culture. so we hit it off.
N?rnberg is a beautiful city with lots of historical sites, parks, greenery, churches etc. I find it strange and, frankly, a bit offensive that you are describing it as if it was some kind of Las Vegas. (No offence to L.V. residents, but you know what I mean. )
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really its far from las vegas, but to a young stupid American, it would not really seem any different, but later i saw how different it was after we got to explore the city more and get away from the pubs and bars.
why get offended? this was neither a personal slight against you or the city.
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really its far from las vegas, but to a young stupid American, it would not really seem any different
OK. hmm
why get offended? this was neither a personal slight against you or the city.
I'm German, and while I'm far from being patriotic, I do sometimes get a bit defensive of my country. http//www.boesealtemaenner.de/forum/Smileys/bam/flag_germany.gif
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I'm German, and while I'm far from being patriotic, I do sometimes get a bit defensive of my country. http//www.boesealtemaenner.de/forum/Smileys/bam/flag_germany.gif
ach du leiber!
well i have to say i did enjoy the country, especially hiking through the woods or visiting ruins.
it was a lot of fun while i was there, for the most part.
but not all of it was fun. it was the same place i was deployed to Bosnia from, and the same place i met my ex-wife, so there are sad memories too.
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i do the same, in fact on the weekends i fast similarly to what one would do during Ramadan. and i devote the bulk of the weekend to spiritual study. i also think about how Islam applies to my life throughout the day, and pray to/ worship Allah all day during work. often times i hum a contemporary Muslim tune, or repeat the words to myself. and i have found i am much happier and at peace with others just by doing these things. and a genuine smile doesn't hurt.
i am looking for the ayat in the koran that touches upon what you said and still looking.....
for how islam applies to my daily life ---- well, i wake up in the morning to sounds of nature - that's my alarm clock and then i hear the plow truck. i just want to pull the covers over. i ask God to help me get through the day. and should today be my last day on earth, then to make my exit be with honor. most of my thinking/reflecting/praising God actually takes place in the bathroom as it takes me about an hour to get ready. as i am brushing my teeth, i am thinking about stuff. i look at my reflection in the mirror. i find myself thinking about things we discuss here while taking shower. lately pretty much every morning, theres snow to clear in the driveway, as my lips and hands are near frozen - i am praying to God for early spring. but i do look at the snow on rooftops, tree tops and think how beautiful it is! the other day, i just stood there looking at the snowflake in awe. of course, after i spent good 40 minutes clearing the driveway and the plow truck dumps more wet heavy snow and i just want to scream, i start complaining to God. i get to work - yeap another day. and i ask God to help me do the right thing and live right by God. when i feel stressed, i ask God to help me. when i feel like just screaming at someone, i ask God to help me calm down and to be nice. when i feel exhausted from lack of sleep or feel the pain in my heart (from divorce) is just about to explode, i ask God to give me the strength to go on. after work, i head to the gym for an hour or so. another chunk of time when i go into my zone, thinking/reflecting/talking to God. every day now, i thank God for my current job as it is not as stressful as my previous of putting in long hours, not even having time to go to the bathroom and not having time for my hobbies. living alone, i do feel afraid sometime but immediately i call upon God and i feel calm. i usually sleep with the quran next to my pillow - don't know just find it comforting. when i am not working, i am cooking, cleaning, doing household chores, doing my hobbies. of course, posting on the forum!
well...i could go on and on but everything i do in my daily life from watching tv to eating to going to work to working out at the gym to helping people to cleaning the house to reading the koran.....all are application of islam in my daily life.
putting a smile on someone's face, saying a kind word, doing the best that i can at work, being a better person....all of these is what i consider practicing islam. at the end of the day, i just hope that i have lived an honorable life and earned God's blessings. with each passing day, i am one day closer to facing God at the end.