From "Ahmadi" Sheep, to Atheist, to Islam !
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May peace be upon you all.
I am a long-time lurker of this forum, and have learned a lot from the discussions on this site. Finally, today have decided to join as I would like to begin partaking in discussions, mostly as a student at this point, as I am just beginning my journey to understand the Quran as best as I can.
I'm not one for rehashing the past, especially as my religious past was a very dark period for me emotionally compared to now, but after reading a few other members' experiences, I realized how important some of these stories can be for comforting others as well as seeing possible ways for dawah.
My journey went something like this...
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My parents are followers of the Ahmadiyya Movement (believing Mirza Ghulam Ahmad of Qadian is the so-called 'Promised Messiah', ie. The spiritual return of Jesus).
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I was just a 'blind' child, following this faith, though not really knowing the details about this particular movement. Nor did I really care, to be honest. But I knew the few key answers to explain to my parents when they tested my 'faith' about it, and thus I suppose I somewhat believed it.
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An interesting note however, is that I recall as a very young child, for several years, I had a fear of death. I feared the unknown, and I feared dying and never meeting my loved ones again. I distinctly remember crying myself to sleep, begging any God to give me a sign that there was an afterlife (specifically a Heaven). I would try to make silly deals with God like, "Please, make something in my room fall, or make it rain now, just to let me know if you're real". In retrospect, it's quite disturbing that I had these thoughts as a child lol.
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In my young adolescence however, I think I just forced myself to believe in a God, in order to comfort that fear of death I once had, and I would repress any further thought so as to not live an uneasy, worrisome life. But I do remember a few times questioning some peculiarities, such as the virgin birth of Jesus, and how/why he would need to come back, and does this make him and/or Christianity more powerful than Islam, and many other things.
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Fast-forward to age 19, I saw the independent and viral film, 'Zeitgeist The Movie', which seeks to explain how religion, particularly Christianity, is just one big corrupt fable borrowed from ancient, pagan beliefs. It also sought to expose 9/11 as a conspiracy in it's latter half, but that's another issue. Seeing all of this proof that Jesus was supposedly just a made-up, false person whose story was borrowed from baseless pagan beliefs (according to the film), I remember instantly losing all belief in every religion, especially the "Islam" I believed in, as I knew Jesus was fundamental in it as well. I also began reading more and more about the proof provided in the film, only to realize how most of it was true.
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For the next 2 years, I would remain an atheist. Reading all types of atheist texts, watching all types of atheist films and Youtube videos. My life was very very dark, as I saw the world in a new way... a way with no ultimate meaning or purpose. But I was strong and said that if this is the truth, I will NOT return to religion just for the mere comfort of it, and will embrace atheism as I do not want to fool myself.
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One thing I noticed about pretty much all of the atheist medium I indulged in though, was that they had this giant pot of religious dogma, and just threw out whatever, randomly, as their proof for why religion is false. I was still on their side, but I thought this was really ignorant; to just say religion is bad because a few "Muslim" radicals kill, or that Jesus was bad because of some obscure scholar's interpretation. I felt that if I was going to be atheist, I want to be able to soundly denounce the specifics, and that's when I decided that I was going to study all of the major religions, and know quote-by-quote what to say in order to prove religious people wrong. (To this day, I find these type of atheists extremely rare.)
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This is when my enlightenment began. sun To make things really short, it was ultimately the Bible that made me believe in religion again. Though it was severely corrupt, I found many surviving passages that when understood, perfectly linked the religions Moses, Jesus and Muhammad preached, into 1 consistent, sequential message from a God. The fact that the religions always stood alone in my mind, always made me feel that if there was a God, he messed up in revealing his word and therefore couldn't truly be a God. However, seeing that Jesus foretold the coming of Muhammad and the worldly message he would preach, and that it was merely corrupted by man, I began to believe again. A very interesting concept for me also, was that this was like a big key unlocking the hidden path of truth. I felt like the fact that the Bible was corrupt, but that with some thorough studying one will find that God left His truth in traces, it was the test I always felt a divine being would set up. For if the entire message was TOO perfect, everyone would believe it. It's kind of like when atheists ask, "If God wanted us to believe, why doesn't he just show himself?". Because that would be way too certain for the whole point of religion to exist. The truth only comes to those who SEEK it out. I'm not sure if any of that makes sense, but it is fundamental to my belief.
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A quick note to the above point, is that while I was in transition thinking I MAY believe in a God again, I recall praying to "any God that may be listening" that if they existed to help guide me to the truth as that is all I want. I would do this virtually every night as I was studying.
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Anyhow, I studied the Bible thoroughly, and then when I moved onto the Quran I realized how it sought to correct the message, and how it brought the traces of truth left in the corrupted Torah and Bible to a perfect story. It revealed that God was telling us the same thing since the beginning of His contact with humankind, only that the Torah and Bible were specifically to uplift one region and to prepare the world for the final and preserved worldly message.
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Since I pretty much emptied my basket by becoming an atheist, when I reverted back to Islam, I saw no reason at all to go back to the Ahmadiyya Movement (as there was no mention of a Mahdi or Promised Messiah in the Quran). As for the Hadith, to be honest, I never really understood why it was followed in the first place, and now that I realized the Quran was the only divinely-inspired book, saw no reason at all to incorporate it into my new found belief.
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In realizing that Quran-alone belief was quite different from the traditionally-practiced "Islam", I had stopped praying for a while, until thankfully some Google searches led me to this wonderful site. This is where I began reading constantly, for months and months, about Salat, and all the differences between Islam, and Sunni, etc. beliefs.
I am proud to say that today, I am a trying Muslim, following the Quran and the Quran only, as best as I possibly can. pr
All praise due to Allah, my mother has subsequently embraced Quran-alone Islam as well, after over 50 years of following traditional "Islam". As an interested mother, she would sometimes inquire if I was praying 5 times a day. When I finally established my twice-a-day salat, my mother one day inquired if I was reading 5 times a day. I told her that I only read twice, as per instructed in the Quran. For a few days, she was a bit concerned if I was falling into some new cult or something (she was the only one in my family who knew when I was an atheist, and she supported my journey, may Allah bless her). But one day when she asked about the issue again, I brought her to the computer and showed her many ayah from the Quran that denounced following the hadith, and that only described 2 salat per day. Within days, she had told me that she was always uneasy about the hadith, and didn't like the fact that they were what was bringing the majority of negativity to Islam. She told me that she is now, a Quran-alone Muslim, and will begin re-reading the Quran with a new mindset. She says it will be hard for her to change her salat just yet, as it is stuck with her after many years of practicing, however, I believe she will soon change. ;D Now, just to convince my stubborn father and the rest of my family... -\
Thank you to anybody who has read through my post, and I hope it brings comfort and/or inspiration to you.
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Salam,
One of the first rejected ideas from hadith for me was the concept of Jesus coming back and fighting dajjal along with Mahdi. So you can probably understand my stance on the whole Ahmediyya movement. I pray that Allah always guides you. About praying 2 times a day, I am a bit confused over the matter. It looks to me that 3 are certain, 2 are dependent on interpretation. So I am studying further on the subject matter, I hope Allah helps me understand the subject. Comparative religion study helped me realize that the message of monotheism isnt new and did not arrive with Muhammad. In all major scriptures, it is available.
Lets learn with clear heart and mind and promote peace.
Pray to Allah that I succeed and I pray to Allah that we all succeed
Let Allah guide
--------------------- Student of Allah
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Peace, Student of Allah !
Thank you for your reply. Yes, the idea of it all sounds very illogical and... out there. It never really sat well with me.
In regards to the number of salat per day, I used to believe 3 was certain as well. But a few threads on this forum actually convinced me that there isn't a 'middle prayer'. I will pass them along to you, and perhaps you can let me know what you think. I value feedback from others, as I too, am in the process of learning.
This entire thread has some very good points and discussion
http//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=7727.0And this particular post, under "Salat Times" has a compilation of discussions regarding the portions of the Quran that outline Salat times
http//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=9598319.msg232237#msg232237May Allah guide us all to the truth.
Peace!
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Salam,
Have seen them before, the problem is, I got totally 300% lost in them. Totally lost !! I couldnt make out anything. So I started reading the Qur'an and following my interpretation of it which led me to see 3 prayers together and 2 others separately. Since I am accountable for what I witnessed and understood, I can not change my Salat timings. What I do is follow them, and ask Allah to guide, if He wills to reveal further wisdom to me, I shall be guided. I can not change my practice based on some interpretation I can not comprehend.
Pray for me
PEACE
------------- Student of Allah
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Peace, Student of Allah !
Fair enough. That is a very noble approach.
I pray both of us, and all else who seek the truth, are led to it.
Peace !
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Salam brother,
May Allah reward you. Not only did you search for the truth but you had the courage to guide your mother and seek to guide your family. Indeed that is the work of a noble man.
Praise be to Allah for guiding you and me. I pray that others see the light of the Quran.
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Peace, Pakistani Assassin !
Thank you for your kind words. )
Did you notice how similar our avatars are as well? We are the overseeing vigilantes of Arabia! jedi LOL
May peace be with you!
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Haha yes. I got my avatar from the game Assassin's Creed.
My avatar depicts an Assassin called Altair overseeing Jerusalem, one of my favourite cities. The history of Arabia intrigues me. Although I have only met you for a short amount of time, I see us having much in common lol )
Peace Eiko, and to all the brothers out there!
Perhaps I should write my own story of how I came to Quran-Alone )
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Peace,
- An interesting note however, is that I recall as a very young child, for several years, I had a fear of death. I feared the unknown, and I feared dying and never meeting my loved ones again. I distinctly remember crying myself to sleep, begging any God to give me a sign that there was an afterlife (specifically a Heaven). I would try to make silly deals with God like, "Please, make something in my room fall, or make it rain now, just to let me know if you're real". In retrospect, it's quite disturbing that I had these thoughts as a child lol.
Lmao.. But yeah, welcome to the forum. Pleasure to meet you! D
Great story. May you learn further on this forum just like I and others have since they came on here.
Keep us updated on what your father/rest of your father say about following The Quran alone without hadiths. -
Haha yes. I got my avatar from the game Assassin's Creed.
My avatar depicts an Assassin called Altair overseeing Jerusalem, one of my favourite cities. The history of Arabia intrigues me. Although I have only met you for a short amount of time, I see us having much in common lol
Peace Eiko, and to all the brothers out there!
Perhaps I should write my own story of how I came to Quran-Alone
Peace!
That's awesome! Mine is from the cover of a graphic novel called 'Cairo'. Though I edited out his arm holding a cigarette to his mouth lol.
And yes, please share your story if you'd like! Everyone definitely has a unique journey, and it really makes you appreciate the intricate ways Allah leads us to the truth.
Peace, brother!
Peace,
Lmao.. But yeah, welcome to the forum. Pleasure to meet you! D
Great story. May you learn further on this forum just like I and others have since they came on here.
Keep us updated on what your father/rest of your father say about following The Quran alone without hadiths.Peace!
;D It's a pleasure to meet you as well! I plan to learn a whole lot more with the help of all of you.
I shall keep you all updated. I actually just sent my official letter to the mosque I was a member of informing them that I have changed my faith and will no longer be a member. So I expect they will pay me a visit and/or request a meeting of some sort to try and convince me of their faith. But I have my quotes from the Quran on hand, and shall intellectually debate them. Who knows, they may even see my case. pr And with this, it's inevitable that my father will begin questioning my decision, so that will open up the can of worms with him. And perhaps the news will just spread like a wild-fire... we'll see what happens.
May peace be with you!
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Peace!
That's awesome! Mine is from the cover of a graphic novel called 'Cairo'. Though I edited out his arm holding a cigarette to his mouth lol. )
And yes, please share your story if you'd like! Everyone definitely has a unique journey, and it really makes you appreciate the intricate ways Allah leads us to the truth.
Peace, brother!
Salam,
Hmm, I've checked out the novel and am interested. Maybe I will purchase it soon as I haven't read a good story for ages; If you liked it, then I should too!
And inshallah I'll have my story up soon. Do you by interest play console games?
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Are you an Iconoclast? Um, that's all I got.
lol That I am, my friend... that I am.
Peace.
Salam,
Hmm, I've checked out the novel and am interested. Maybe I will purchase it soon as I haven't read a good story for ages; If you liked it, then I should too!
And inshallah I'll have my story up soon. Do you by interest play console games?
No, I don't anymore. I used to, but life has gotten so busy I've found myself left with no time for them.
Peace.
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Peace, SeekingYou !
Indeed! May Allah guide the believers on the right path.
May peace be with you.