what do you do when you are feeling sad?
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Maybe working in health-care has really piqued my interest in knowing how people deal with feeling sad, stressed, overwhelmed, whether they are positive or negative coping mechanisms. How much does faith play a role in this?
Interested in hearing your replies.
Peace
Kukumber
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if it were not for God/faith, i'd be 8 feet under. whenever i feel sad or pain in my heart (which i have a lot of), i ask God to please help me. it helps a lot to know that i always have a friend in God who knows how much i can bear. i focus on God and not my pain or sadness. i don't rely on my own strength but in God to help me get through.
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hmm. could be.
Might be hard to search for, there are countless synonyms of sad. I think thought its a topic that needs to be revisited over, at least to create some awareness, that everyone is sad/stressed at some point in their life. Its easy for people to think they are the only one's struggling
Peace
Kukumber
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peace Kukumbur
Others have covered faith & all I would add to that is that a few times when life has been hard I have not relied on faith and spirituality as much as I should. In a sense the darkest times have been the most hard times to reach out. Having said that, I have never had thoughts of not believing or anything like that. More just less practice, less prayer etc than I normally might do. Then as soon as I get enough strength back I return to it more fully. I know it's not the best way; I'm just telling you what actually happens.
I use exercise quite a bit and another thing that has been really beneficial is helpful thinking styles. It's just a way of checking the thoughts you are having and reframing them in a more helpful way I guess. Sometimes we don't realise how many negative and self-defeating things we are thinking all the time..
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Music, exercise, socializing, and even simple things like taking a walk or driving helps.
In terms of spirituality, I think it helps in the grand scheme of things. I don't think it's practical to just sit down and pray to not be sad all of the time. Allah has given us a plethora of wonderful things to do that evoke good feelings from us, and I believe we should partake so as long as it doesn't go against our religion.
There is a quote that goes "This too shall pass."
According to reports, a powerful king in the past wanted something that would humble him whenever he felt either sad or happy. He ordered his servants to come up with something, and they returned with a ring that simply said this slogan. Some say it was for Solomon, and some say Solomon was the one who actually thought it up. Either way, I find it to be a simple quote that brings me back to homeostasis. Life has it's ups and downs, and just like in the past, it shall pass. And it shall pass until we pass, and reach our destination with Allah. )
May peace be with you all.
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Music, exercise, socializing, and even simple things like taking a walk or driving helps.
In terms of spirituality, I think it helps in the grand scheme of things. I don't think it's practical to just sit down and pray to not be sad all of the time. Allah has given us a plethora of wonderful things to do that evoke good feelings from us, and I believe we should partake so as long as it doesn't go against our religion.
There is a quote that goes "This too shall pass."
According to reports, a powerful king in the past wanted something that would humble him whenever he felt either sad or happy. He ordered his servants to come up with something, and they returned with a ring that simply said this slogan. Some say it was for Solomon, and some say Solomon was the one who actually thought it up. Either way, I find it to be a simple quote that brings me back to homeostasis. Life has it's ups and downs, and just like in the past, it shall pass. And it shall pass until we pass, and reach our destination with Allah.
May peace be with you all.
Great post, sums up my thoughts well. I think we all need a release (why salat is prescribed, IMO). Negative energy is like inhaling poison, if not released by mental and physical exercise, etc.
Welcome to the forum!
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Music, exercise, socializing, and even simple things like taking a walk or driving helps.
Nice. I was about to mention music and socialising, but you beat me to it. Lately I have been taking comfort in late night stroll by the beach (it's pretty convenient when you live just a few minutes away from the beach).
I often find going to social events/works to help lift my energy, because I get the opportunity to meet with sincere, humble individuals who have this positive energy. Anyway, that may be quite impractical because you can't just find any social events whenever you feel sad .
Other way for me to release negative energy is by writing, drawing and cooking/eating good, healthy food. Also reminding myself of several uplifting Qur'anic verses, such as the ones in Surah 93 and 94. They always help ^^.
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Nice. I was about to mention music and socialising, but you beat me to it. Lately I have been taking comfort in late night stroll by the beach (it's pretty convenient when you live just a few minutes away from the beach).
I often find going to social events/works to help lift my energy, because I get the opportunity to meet with sincere, humble individuals who have this positive energy. Anyway, that may be quite impractical because you can't just find any social events whenever you feel sad D.
Other way for me to release negative energy is by writing, drawing and cooking/eating good, healthy food. Also reminding myself of several uplifting Qur'anic verses, such as the ones in Surah 93 and 94. They always help ^^.
Good point BornAgain - hobbies and interests that you are really into can be great. I have known many people who don't really have anything like that - in fact I was like that for a long time when I was young. It's much nicer to have something you are passionate about.
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Great post, sums up my thoughts well. I think we all need a release (why salat is prescribed, IMO). Negative energy is like inhaling poison, if not released by mental and physical exercise, etc.
Welcome to the forum!
Peace, Jack !
Thank you for the welcome. I've lurked for so long that I feel like we should have already known each other on the forums, as I've read so many of your posts. laugh
It's a pleasure to make your aquaintance. handshake
Peace.
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Peace, Jack !
Thank you for the welcome. I've lurked for so long that I feel like we should have already known each other on the forums, as I've read so many of your posts. laugh
It's a pleasure to make your aquaintance. handshake
Peace.
Peace Eikonoklastes !
Ready to challenge me, then? Bring it! ) haha I know the feeling, I was like that back in the day. As a lurker, you feel like you know some of the members, etc. Just no more lurking, k?
Appreciate the candor handshake
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Peace Everybody.
Welcome Eikonoklastes, and thankyou everyone else for you thoughtful replies. I have been thinking a lit bit more into this whole concept (don't ask me to define the concept hehe).
Indelwyn, and justamuslim, I do agree with you that prayer and meditation, and having an outlook such as life is a test, can be very positive. Also touching on what Rana said about relying on faith less, at times. But that can also be a positive thing, Is is not during hard times, that you would probably reevaluate your faith, and while you may feel as a person of a weaker faith at the moment, the likelihood of it is that you would come out with stronger faith with probably a change in the concept of faith.
But all of this got me thinking. What about the person that has relatively ok life, maybe one or two aspects feel lacking but overall is happy with the direction his/her life is going in. What if he/she just feels sad for a few hours, a day or two but cannot really pinpoint the reason. What if person x has these days more than person y. Is it just differences in brain chemistry? Or is it something more. Like Jack said about prayer, I find these thoughts can be controlled by prayer.
But what causes them in the first place. Is it just human make-up, or is it the way societies are run. It makes me think of institutionalized racism (but including other points of discrimination, not just race), and marginalization. Is it because we can tend to be so biased towards a certain type of person, that those who are not in the in-group always feel incomplete/sad without even being able to pinpoint exactly why.
One thing that comes to mind as a form of institutionalized marginalization, is some of the phrases we use commonly like "Money does not buy happiness". Is this essentially not putting those who are comfortably well off as the "norm", and everyone who struggles on the periphery, as this phrase is geared towards the comfortably well off for whom an extra bit of money will not solve the problems they have. What about those who struggle, they have to feel guilty about pursuing financial stability. Because even for them, while money will not solve every problem, it will solve some problems, and therefore bring happiness. Why would a person not be happier if he did not run out of money for food before his next paycheck came in. Why would someone not feel happier about earning an extra bit of money, if it meant it could be put away to be used for their kids to go to school. But no, it has become taboo to even say that one of the reasons you chose this particular career, or took on this particular job was because of the pay, and how that would positively impact your life.
But thats just the first example that came to mind, about certain people being put on the periphery. There are countless more, but I am just rambling on here. I would love to hear your responses, if you can make sense of my ramble.
Kukumber
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Salaam Kukumber,
Have you ever heard of the sayings, ?Happiness is a state of mind? or ?Pain is inevitable, but suffering is an options??
I cannot precisely say what causes someone to experience more sadness or happiness. I think it is a combination of your neurology, your life experience and the environment where you live in. Say, if you used to live your life in poverty and starvation, you could become a very grateful and contented person just by living a life where you have modest shelter, clothing, and food. However if you grew up in a materialistic environment, where most are driven to obtain worldly riches, then chances are you might not settle for modest life. You would want to get a house, a new car, the latest beauty and fashion products, etc. If you spent your childhood being bullied at school for being chubby and unattractuve, then a good chance you would be more sensitive and dwell on the image issue than those who had not experienced such thing.
Your experience and your environment shape how you perceive and respond how you respond to the circumstances around you.
?Money does not buy happiness?. That is true in an essence, but it cannot be generalised. One thing that needs to be considered is, ?Lack of money may lead to unhappiness.? Some families have struggled to live their lives due to the lack of money. We, who are fortunate enough to be financially sufficient (to the extent of having internet connection!), may not understand what those people are going through. It?s like a slap on their face if we say that money is not helpful to our lives. Okay, when I say money, I equate it to wealth, or a means to purchase both items of necessity and unnecessity.
People may not fathom as to why someone may not be happier when they have an excess of money. I think the case is not ?only- having extra money, it is coupled with something else. Some people may gain themselves enemies or envies or the world when they are rich. Some people may cross path with superficial people who are only interested to ?befriend? or ?have a relationship? purely on the interest in their wealth. I personally perceive financial security as a positive thing, because it enables me to sustain myself, as well as others in need. I?ll be contented with self-sufficient and modest life, but I will be happier if I can earn enough to make a difference. Therefore I don?t feel guilty if I choose a career path that, God willing, provides me with excellent salary.
It depends really how you use your money to ?buy? happiness. I think the phrase is more suited to ?Money provides a path to experience happiness.? What it gives is a path, and it depends on how you walk the path and experience it. Anyway, different individuals will have different perceptions and understanding of what happiness is. Generally speaking, a musician will be happy when s/he performs music and is able to transfer that joy to someone else. A painter will be joyful when s/he can paint to express his/her feelings. A traveller will be in a state of bliss when s/he can traverse ?til the edge of the world and see the wonder of nature. A humanist will feel contented to see the world in peace and harmony, where there is no suffering (at least within his/her sight). When I said I could be happy by painting or writing, you might not experience the same state of euphoria because you may not enjoy painting or drawing. When I said I could be more at peace by remembering some Qur?aanic surahs, I daresay that atheists will sneer at the thought because they do not have God in their hearts.
So yeah, here I am, rambling. I think to answer your question, you cannot generalise the concept or the ?cause? of happiness, because happiness really is, a state of mind. And our state of mind is shaped by our experience, environment and neurology. It is nothing wrong to be happy for something that others don?t see, well, as long as you do not harm anyone. After all they do not live your life to understand what you?ve been through and what has driven you to where you are now. I hope I make sense >.<
Salaam.
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Thanks for your reply BA
I kind of see now, I had gotten on a one track state of mind. Of course it is more than just a chemical make-up. Of course, environment, past experiences etc play a role. But at the same time, hitting on the environment, we do have an unfair or unjust society (which can lead to a whole debate on how to define justice and fairness). I really don't know where I am going with this, but we definitely as a society marginalize people, and if the people not in the norm or "centre", but in the periphery internalize the marginalization, well then how do we ever solve the problem. And there is not just one aspect that causes the marginalization, there's ethnicity, sex, gender, faith, education level, financial status, marital status, body weight, the way you look, your own perception of how "cool' you are, or how much others will enjoy your company, your past experiences, and how they define the decisions you make today etc etc etc. I remember reading in school about a concept called triple jeopardy, where a person experiences minority stress in three ways, namely sexual orientation, gender, and ethnicity. But really minority stress can be ten fold or more. And if its internalized that's a huge burden to carry. That's a massive burden to overcome if happiness truly is a state of mind. It makes me sad just thinking about it, and makes me wonder if faith and prayer can really break all these barriers.
Kukumber
