Questions regarding dowry in quran
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I have some questions regarding dowry according to the quran.
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If a girl is very very rich and the boy is very poor would the poor boy still be required to pay dowry to the very rich girl? If yes then whats the logic behind this since logically it should be the other way around ie. the rich girl paying dowry to the poor boy.
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Can someone comment on what ] means and since they both are translated into english as 'dowry'.
All the best.
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Salaam,
A woman has the right to demand a dowry, but can remit that right if she wishes. If she lets go of that right, then the man is not obligated to give her a dowry.
I am not too sure about the first Arabic word, but the second one seems that it means 'sadaqah/charity'. Others feel free to correct me if I am wrong.
Salaam.
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Maybe, although not very likely, the translations might be wrong probably? Maybe the word for dowry means something else? Can someone check? Just suggesting
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Try not to assume. it's all basically an agreement between the couple, she doesn't have to take anything from him. also why is dowry automatically of monetary value? if she wants, she can give him her riches. where's the sin?
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they are not always both translated as dowry try looking up all word occurences to understand the meaning of the words.
ajr is more related to their right, their reward, their rightly due.
sadaqa is more about a gift, to give, a charity etc.
when translating into a different language you can not always find the exact same meaning in one word.
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Maybe, although not very likely, the translations might be wrong probably? Maybe the word for dowry means something else? Can someone check? Just suggesting
I think the brother here has a point. Its little weird that different arabic words are all translated as 'dowry'.
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Salaam,
A woman has the right to demand a dowry, but can remit that right if she wishes. If she lets go of that right, then the man is not obligated to give her a dowry.
I am not too sure about the first Arabic word, but the second one seems that it means 'sadaqah/charity'. Others feel free to correct me if I am wrong.
Salaam.
hey sister... but why does a rich woman has the right to dowry? How can a woman, who already has more money then what she needs, have a right to get even more money ?
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Try not to assume. it's all basically an agreement between the couple, she doesn't have to take anything from him. also why is dowry automatically of monetary value? if she wants, she can give him her riches. where's the sin?
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they are not always both translated as dowry try looking up all word occurences to understand the meaning of the words.
ajr is more related to their right, their reward, their rightly due.
sadaqa is more about a gift, to give, a charity etc.
when translating into a different language you can not always find the exact same meaning in one word.
thanks sarah you just clearified many things for me!
Thanks again sister.
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I agree that it does not have to be of monetary value. I did not demand an outrageous amount of money. I feel part of it is to stop men from using women. Money adds seriousness to the matter. There is a problem in my community with men marrying new converts for their greencard, usually demanding a dowry, chases them away. Speaking from personal experience and what I have noticed
My dowry, as stated, was not a lot of money. I did require him to teach me how to recite Quran as part of my dowry, since that was very important to me, more than money. It is actually written in my contract.
Just my opinion )
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I agree that it does not have to be of monetary value. I did not demand an outrageous amount of money. I feel part of it is to stop men from using women. Money adds seriousness to the matter. There is a problem in my community with men marrying new converts for their greencard, usually demanding a dowry, chases them away. Speaking from personal experience and what I have noticed
My dowry, as stated, was not a lot of money. I did require him to teach me how to recite Quran as part of my dowry, since that was very important to me, more than money. It is actually written in my contract.
Just my opinion )
thanks sister. You are right, some men only feel themselves commited when they have paid money for the commitment. So it can help by requiring him to pay dowry.
However, this is not limited to men only. Here where I live I have also seen many women from Morocco, Russia and african countries who want to marry men in order to get residence permit. If the husbands demanded dowry from these wives, it would maybe save at least some gullible Westerner males who like exotic appearance O0 O0 O0
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Shalom aleikhem,
The way I always understood this literature is that it gives a women the right to demand a dowry. The case you presented, where a women is already a lot more wealthier than the man, it still depends on the women if she wants a dowry that the man can not provide or not.
I must inform you that just because she is wealthy, it does not mean that she can not desire to be wealthier. So, a girl from a multimillionaire background may very well seek a man who can provide her more or atleast the same as she herself can.
At the end of the day, its up to the women. Indelwyn gave a pretty good example from her personal experience.
Let us see how much more there is to learn and ponder about.
Peace
---------- Student of Allah -
The case you presented, where a women is already a lot more wealthier than the man, it still depends on the women if she wants a dowry that the man can not provide or not.
.Can a wealthy husband also demand dowry from a poor wife ?
I must inform you that just because she is wealthy, it does not mean that she can not desire to be wealthier.
what has that to do with the question?
So, a girl from a multimillionaire background may very well seek a man who can provide her more or atleast the same as she herself can.
so you have a problem with a girl from a multimillionaire background who loves a very poor man and wants to marry that poor man?
At the end of the day, its up to the women
agree
Indelwyn gave a pretty good example from her personal experience.
yes but she didnt mentioned all the the muslim women who cheat gullible westerner males for residence permit as well. Perhaps the westerner males should also begin to demand dowry when they get married to a muslim woman.
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Shalom,
Can a wealthy husband also demand dowry from a poor wife ?
I never found that to be true.
what has that to do with the question?
I read somewhere in this thread about "a women who is already rich enough". Hence I thought about sharing my view that she is rich enough in your eyes only.
so you have a problem with a girl from a multimillionaire background who loves a very poor man and wants to marry that poor man?
Why would I have a problem with her ? If she loves the man so much, she would not ask for a dowry thats beyond the ability of that man to provide. Simple as that.
Peace
------------- Student of Allah -
I never found that to be true.
why ? Whats wrong with it ?
I read somewhere in this thread about "a women who is already rich enough". Hence I thought about sharing my view that she is rich enough in your eyes only.
there are people like you who think that wealthy women marry wealthy men for money. Please come on. We live in 2012.
Why would I have a problem with her ? If she loves the man so much, she would not ask for a dowry thats beyond the ability of that man to provide. Simple as that.
why should she ask for dowry in the first place ? Can the poor man ask the wealthy woman for dowry instead ?
You clearly didnt understood the topic.
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why ? Whats wrong with it ?
there are people like you who think that wealthy women marry wealthy men for money. Please come on. We live in 2012.
why should she ask for dowry ? Can the poor man ask the wealthy woman for dowry instead ?
You clearly didnt understood the topic.
"Bring forth your proof if you are truthful."
I am not here in Free-Minds to waste my time with people that goes around accusing others for no reason. Show me where I said that wealthy women marry wealthy man for money. If you can not, then fear Allah and do not go around accusing people like this.
Peace be on you
------------------------ Student of Allah
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"Bring forth your proof if you are truthful."
I am not here in Free-Minds to waste my time with people that goes around accusing others for no reason. Show me where I said that wealthy women marry wealthy man for money. If you can not, then fear Allah and do not go around accusing people like this.
Peace be on you
Sure. You said following
I must inform you that just because she is wealthy, it does not mean that she can not desire to be wealthier. So, a girl from a multimillionaire background may very well seek a man who can provide her more or atleast the same as she herself can.
It's so obvious that you was raised as a hadither. Learn little bit more about reality so that you can get over your sexist ideas. No woman needs your money, so keep your dowry to yourself.
Peace
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Sure. You said following
I must inform you that just because she is wealthy, it does not mean that she can not desire to be wealthier. So, a girl from a multimillionaire background may very well seek a man who can provide her more or atleast the same as she herself can.
It's so obvious that you was raised as a hadither. Learn little bit more about reality so that you can get over your sexist ideas. No woman needs your money, so keep your dowry to yourself.
Peace
You are reading the part you wanted to and ignoring the part you dont want to read... I said
I must inform you that just because she is wealthy, it does not mean that she can not desire to be wealthier. So, a girl from a multimillionaire background may very well seek a man who can provide her more or atleast the same as she herself can.
MAY VERY WELL = IF SHE WISHES TO
I did not say that she MUST, I said that she has the right to chose for herself.
Please do not bring in personal attacks, you dont know enough about my background to state any such thing about me. After repeating over and over that ITS HER CHOICE and ITS ULTIMATELY UP TO THE WOMEN... you are saying that I am sexist ?
------------ Student of Allah
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You are reading the part you wanted to and ignoring the part you dont want to read... I said
MAY VERY WELL = IF SHE WISHES TO
I did not say that she MUST, I said that she has the right to chose for herself.
Please do not bring in personal attacks, you dont know enough about my background to state any such thing about me. After repeating over and over that ITS HER CHOICE and ITS ULTIMATELY UP TO THE WOMEN... you are saying that I am sexist ?
------------ Student of Allah
I clearly misunderstood you. I apologize and take my words about you being a sexist back ).
Peace brother group
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Maha,
I look at it like this. The dowry is there to protect the women. Especially back in those days. Men were the sole provider back then. I have a daughter she is only 8 but still, when she becomes older and decides to marry, I want to know she is going to be taken care of. Even if she is a doctor and can take care of herself, which is great that she can in case something happens. However, it is nice to know.. she is married to a man with good work ethics, who is not gonna sit on his butt and expect her to pay for everything or make her life hard by not contributing.
Once you start giving men money, some take this as a sign that you don't need them. Men LOVE to feel as though they are taking care of their family. Ask any husband or father. A man demanding a dowry to me shows a flaw. He wants me to take care of him? Is he able to provide? What happens if we get stuck? I would feel better not exchanging any money. If when we are married he needs help in supporting our family, well I will be right beside him helping.
Men are the maintainers and supporters of women.
I think what student was saying is something about a lifestyle. Example, if you have a rich women, she might want a man with money because she is used to a certain standard of living. If you eat steak every night you are not going to be big on settling for say ...sloppy joes. But in the case where she is fine with marrying say a poor man, she can lift the burden of money. It is up to her and is her right. How do you know the poor man is not marrying her for the money?
If a man is afraid the women he might marry is using him, then he can add something to the marriage contract. If she agrees, then it is a protection for them both and between the both of them. I know ppl who have a clause to receive money if they are divorced without grounds, it is very well stipulated. The parties agree and then sign. The rest is with Allah, and Allah knows best.
I hope this helps, even though just my opinion