My journey to True Islam
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Hello everybody,
I'll try to keep the introduction short though I have very much to say. I am from a Sunni (and "moderately religious" Moroccan family, born and living in France. I don't think I'd be wrong in saying that my family is rather "Sufi" in mindset though.
First of all, I guess traditionnal Islam and I could never be "friends" and that since I am a child. I have always been left-handed (and oddly enough, I'm the only left-handed person in my family) so family dinners were always awful for me. My father tried everything to make me eat with the right hand, in vain. And other family members would often tell me that eating with my left-hand was eating with the Devil. Needless to say that saying this to a child isn't pleasant to hear, especially because I don't think that the child I was ever did anything remotely evil.
And not only that bothered me. Once my aunt and her brother prayed, and explaining religious practices to her daughter, she said women had to pray behind men because they were "superior" (I don't exactly remember the exact word she said but that was the idea); I was only 10 or 11 at the time and that bothered me. It gave me the image of a God who rather listens to men's prayers first just because they're men - even if some women would ten times more righteous. I felt it was unfair. Then some hadiths I were told just didn't sound right like the one where the Prophet Muhammad says that the believer must love him more than he loves his own family. I just thought, a good Prophet would have said to love God more than anything, and not himself because he's only a human in the end and loving a human I do NOT know more than myself and my family did not make sense to me. And it was always "the Prophet said this...", "the Prophet said that..."; if the Prophet would have told them to jump out of a window, they'd have done it. And this blind faith annoyed me. nope Slowly, I started to dislike the Prophet Muhammad.
Another thing I had hard time to grasp was the prayers. When I was told that prayer were compulsory and that I had to do them, I'd often answer that I need to learn Arabic first to KNOW what I am saying to God. This would often get me scolded by my aunts and uncles who would reply that who cares if you know the Arabic or not, we have to pray this way even if you don't understand and that's all. I didn't understand why I could not pray in any other language, in a language I'd be more comfortable in. God understands every language, doesn't He?Because of this (and other stupid rules), step by step, I was slowly going away from Islam, because that was too much for me. Too many rules, which did not make sense. I had tried to read the Quran but when I was reading it back then, at every verse I was reading, I would remember some hadiths and some of the religious rules coming from them unconsciously. When God says in His book that some people are so deaf and blind that the message never reach them, I guess that's what I experienced. Because growing up in a traditionnal Muslim family brainwashes you with all its customs which are supposed to be Islam and it's hard to get rid of them. So I quickly gave up reading it. Definitely, the first time I tried reading the Quran, my mind was not purified, I guess. Quran says that God misguides whom He wills and I definitely thought I was misguided so I felt really guilty.
So during my high-school years, what I just did was leaving religion aside and not thinking about it anymore. I still believed in God though. During those years, I got interested in other philosophies like Buddhism (which was really attractive because it was free and personal compared to Sunni Islam which was too much cultist to me). After high-school, I started a new course and that's when my view of the world really changed thanks to the Philosophy teacher I had (he's definitely the best teacher I ever had). I learnt a lot in his classes and many things he said were VERY quranic. We touched mostly Greek Philosophy but we also read a bit of Maimonides, Al-Farabi and Ibn Rushd. Reading about those two Muslim thinkers that were Al-Farabi and Ibn Rushd, I just kept wondering what went wrong in the Muslim world that we don't produce thinkers like them anymore. Once this Philosophy teacher said that this kind of thinker ALWAYS had opposition from atheists (because they try to prove that God exists) AND from religious authorities (because those thinkers try to rationalize the belief in God and do not rely on blind faith which, as we all know, is important for those authorities). One day, he also made me realize how life is short and that we don't have time to loose on petty things, that we should always look for The Truth (and that literature, arts and music could help us to attain this one Truth), that we should read the important books like the Torah, the Bible and the Quran. All this to say that he's the person who helped me to realise that I couldn't shun Islam aside without studying it. Looking back, I think that this person was the only "muslim" I ever met (despite my whole family claiming to be Muslims).
So after that, I decided to be more serious about Islam (though I still bore a grudge against the Prophet. It felt weird to be a Muslim who didn't like very much the Prophet Muhammad given how traditionnal muslims almost worship him / ). The thing is that I was so eager to do it that I fell into the trap of Sunni Islam for a while. My cousin had given me a little book in which were written all the "formulas" to say when one enters the bathroom, when one exits the bathroom (and taking into account wich foot to use, of course. ) , when one enters a masjid, when one goes to bed... Like a sheep, I tried really hard to learn what to say on any occasion as if that would have helped me from a spiritual point of view. I started eating with my right-hand. I started praying on the Ramadan that followed. I even bought a prayer guide, I tried to learn what to say exactly. Needless to say that after few weeks, I felt quickly overburdened. The prayer became robotic, I'd always do it quickly to be done with it. And everytime I came across new rules you can't look up when you pray, you can't close your eyes when praying (when I'm much more focused when my eyes are closed)... So many things. I gave up doing it. I felt guilty for a while but I couldn't connect so it was useless for me.
Then I fell on even more rules like women cannot travel without a mahram (travelling is one of the things I love the most. I think we should be allowed to travel in order to discover much more. I don't need a man to be always around me.), music is haraam, apostates should be killed, etc. I knew there was some truth in Islam but there are other things which bothered me so much but I couldn't leave it. So I tried to get to know more about Sufism which was the part of Islam that always attracted me the most. The problem about Sufism is that somehow, it's just a "veil" which hides all the horrible things about Traditionnal Islam.Four/five weeks ago, I then fell on the internet on an article written by Tunisian intellectual Mohamed Talbi. He was against the Sharia and he said that ONLY the Quran (the word of God) can "legislate". I was glad to know that a Muslim was against the sharia and had GENUINE explanations which seemed so reasonable to me. So I wanted to know more and then I fell on an anonymous article that proved that this sharia and the Sunna and hadiths were so against the Quran. Reading it opened my eyes. Suddenly, all this made sense. Nothing's wrong with Islam. It's just that humans injected their practices and made it look as if it was Islam. I felt free actually. I remember that I also felt dizzy because everything that I was taught concerning religion comes from the Sunna and hadiths and that I had to get rid of it. It was a weird sensation. But it felt like a re-birth. I suddenly felt close to God. I could have died very happily this day because finally, I could "touch" the Truth. Since then, Islam seems so pure and beautiful to me. And, this grudge I had against the Prophet quickly disappeared. This was also a relief. I guess I hated on the poor man for no reasons. If I go to Jannah, I'll apologize to him.
So since this day, I looked more into this God-alone movement and I fell on your website and forum. I must say, it's greatly done and THANK YOU for making it because even though I've only been reading the topics these last few weeks, I learnt a lot. I'm slowly re-reading the Quran (and learning Arabic in the same time because the translations ARE biased). For now, I crosscheck the three French translations that I have and I am striving hard in God's path. I hope He'll always guide me like He has so far because I'm sure all those different steps in my life were His doings to make me realise the truth. And I'm really grateful to Him.
Wow, I know I said I'd try to make this short but I guess it was impossible. Well, I hope this post didn't bore you... I'll understand if you didn't read it entirely, don't worry.
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Keep searching and studying, your Lord is Forgiver Most Merciful.
May the Lord guide us all to do better.
Peace.
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Greetings and Peace, all group
@Chameli welcome
May the Lord bless you and keep you.
May the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you.
May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.peace
~Abdul-Hadi
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Shalom Aleikhem,
Hello everybody,
I'll try to keep the introduction short though I have very much to say. I am from a Sunni (and "moderately religious" Moroccan family, born and living in France. I don't think I'd be wrong in saying that my family is rather "Sufi" in mindset though. P
First of all, I guess traditionnal Islam and I could never be "friends" and that since I am a child. I have always been left-handed (and oddly enough, I'm the only left-handed person in my family) so family dinners were always awful for me. My father tried everything to make me eat with the right hand, in vain. And other family members would often tell me that eating with my left-hand was eating with the Devil. Needless to say that saying this to a child isn't pleasant to hear, especially because I don't think that the child I was ever did anything remotely evil.
And not only that bothered me. Once my aunt and her brother prayed, and explaining religious practices to her daughter, she said women had to pray behind men because they were "superior" (I don't exactly remember the exact word she said but that was the idea); I was only 10 or 11 at the time and that bothered me. It gave me the image of a God who rather listens to men's prayers first just because they're men - even if some women would ten times more righteous. I felt it was unfair. Then some hadiths I were told just didn't sound right like the one where the Prophet Muhammad says that the believer must love him more than he loves his own family. I just thought, a good Prophet would have said to love God more than anything, and not himself because he's only a human in the end and loving a human I do NOT know more than myself and my family did not make sense to me. And it was always "the Prophet said this...", "the Prophet said that..."; if the Prophet would have told them to jump out of a window, they'd have done it. And this blind faith annoyed me. nope Slowly, I started to dislike the Prophet Muhammad.
Another thing I had hard time to grasp was the prayers. When I was told that prayer were compulsory and that I had to do them, I'd often answer that I need to learn Arabic first to KNOW what I am saying to God. This would often get me scolded by my aunts and uncles who would reply that who cares if you know the Arabic or not, we have to pray this way even if you don't understand and that's all. I didn't understand why I could not pray in any other language, in a language I'd be more comfortable in. God understands every language, doesn't He?Because of this (and other stupid rules), step by step, I was slowly going away from Islam, because that was too much for me. Too many rules, which did not make sense. I had tried to read the Quran but when I was reading it back then, at every verse I was reading, I would remember some hadiths and some of the religious rules coming from them unconsciously. When God says in His book that some people are so deaf and blind that the message never reach them, I guess that's what I experienced. Because growing up in a traditionnal Muslim family brainwashes you with all its customs which are supposed to be Islam and it's hard to get rid of them. So I quickly gave up reading it. Definitely, the first time I tried reading the Quran, my mind was not purified, I guess. Quran says that God misguides whom He wills and I definitely thought I was misguided so I felt really guilty.
So during my high-school years, what I just did was leaving religion aside and not thinking about it anymore. I still believed in God though. During those years, I got interested in other philosophies like Buddhism (which was really attractive because it was free and personal compared to Sunni Islam which was too much cultist to me). After high-school, I started a new course and that's when my view of the world really changed thanks to the Philosophy teacher I had (he's definitely the best teacher I ever had). I learnt a lot in his classes and many things he said were VERY quranic. We touched mostly Greek Philosophy but we also read a bit of Maimonides, Al-Farabi and Ibn Rushd. Reading about those two Muslim thinkers that were Al-Farabi and Ibn Rushd, I just kept wondering what went wrong in the Muslim world that we don't produce thinkers like them anymore. Once this Philosophy teacher said that this kind of thinker ALWAYS had opposition from atheists (because they try to prove that God exists) AND from religious authorities (because those thinkers try to rationalize the belief in God and do not rely on blind faith which, as we all know, is important for those authorities). One day, he also made me realize how life is short and that we don't have time to loose on petty things, that we should always look for The Truth (and that literature, arts and music could help us to attain this one Truth), that we should read the important books like the Torah, the Bible and the Quran. All this to say that he's the person who helped me to realise that I couldn't shun Islam aside without studying it. Looking back, I think that this person was the only "muslim" I ever met (despite my whole family claiming to be Muslims).
So after that, I decided to be more serious about Islam (though I still bore a grudge against the Prophet. It felt weird to be a Muslim who didn't like very much the Prophet Muhammad given how traditionnal muslims almost worship him / ). The thing is that I was so eager to do it that I fell into the trap of Sunni Islam for a while. My cousin had given me a little book in which were written all the "formulas" to say when one enters the bathroom, when one exits the bathroom (and taking into account wich foot to use, of course. P) , when one enters a masjid, when one goes to bed... Like a sheep, I tried really hard to learn what to say on any occasion as if that would have helped me from a spiritual point of view. I started eating with my right-hand. I started praying on the Ramadan that followed. I even bought a prayer guide, I tried to learn what to say exactly. Needless to say that after few weeks, I felt quickly overburdened. The prayer became robotic, I'd always do it quickly to be done with it. And everytime I came across new rules you can't look up when you pray, you can't close your eyes when praying (when I'm much more focused when my eyes are closed)... So many things. I gave up doing it. I felt guilty for a while but I couldn't connect so it was useless for me.
Then I fell on even more rules like women cannot travel without a mahram (travelling is one of the things I love the most. I think we should be allowed to travel in order to discover much more. I don't need a man to be always around me.), music is haraam, apostates should be killed, etc. I knew there was some truth in Islam but there are other things which bothered me so much but I couldn't leave it. So I tried to get to know more about Sufism which was the part of Islam that always attracted me the most. The problem about Sufism is that somehow, it's just a "veil" which hides all the horrible things about Traditionnal Islam.Four/five weeks ago, I then fell on the internet on an article written by Tunisian intellectual Mohamed Talbi. He was against the Sharia and he said that ONLY the Quran (the word of God) can "legislate". I was glad to know that a Muslim was against the sharia and had GENUINE explanations which seemed so reasonable to me. So I wanted to know more and then I fell on an anonymous article that proved that this sharia and the Sunna and hadiths were so against the Quran. Reading it opened my eyes. Suddenly, all this made sense. Nothing's wrong with Islam. It's just that humans injected their practices and made it look as if it was Islam. I felt free actually. I remember that I also felt dizzy because everything that I was taught concerning religion comes from the Sunna and hadiths and that I had to get rid of it. It was a weird sensation. But it felt like a re-birth. I suddenly felt close to God. I could have died very happily this day because finally, I could "touch" the Truth. Since then, Islam seems so pure and beautiful to me. And, this grudge I had against the Prophet quickly disappeared. This was also a relief. I guess I hated on the poor man for no reasons. If I go to Jannah, I'll apologize to him. P
So since this day, I looked more into this God-alone movement and I fell on your website and forum. I must say, it's greatly done and THANK YOU for making it because even though I've only been reading the topics these last few weeks, I learnt a lot. I'm slowly re-reading the Quran (and learning Arabic in the same time because the translations ARE biased). For now, I crosscheck the three French translations that I have and I am striving hard in God's path. I hope He'll always guide me like He has so far because I'm sure all those different steps in my life were His doings to make me realise the truth. And I'm really grateful to Him.
Wow, I know I said I'd try to make this short but I guess it was impossible. D Well, I hope this post didn't bore you... I'll understand if you didn't read it entirely, don't worry. )
good Lord !! How did I read all of it ?????? I actually did D
But next time, please make a video documentary...would love to see such documentaries.
Anyways, I hope you find the truth, the peace, the harmony that you seek in life. May God guide you to His straight path.
Peace be on you
ohh.. welcome to the forum . .. )
------------- Student of Allah
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Peace be with you and welcome!
Recommended readings
God's System of Righteousness (The Reward system for those who are nice/do Good)
http//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=9602900
The Original purpose of our creation
http//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=9603282.0
~ God's Unconnditional servants ~
http//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=9603053
7 "Hells", 2 Heavens, and a "Purgatory"
http//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=9603259
Why language is irrelevant!
http//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=9603266.0 -
thanks for sharing your story. sure can relate to it!
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Thank you everybody for the welcome. sun
@Student of Allah Next time I want to babble about my life, I'll take your advice and make a documentary. ;D Btw, I've checked your blog and it's really good. Keep up the good work! D
@es The beautiful woman on my avatar is old-school Indian actress Madhubala. She's one of my absolute favourites. She had such a screen presence! I love Hindi cinema, especially the old films.
@Youssef Thank you for the recommendations. I shall check them out.
Salaam.
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Salaam Chameli,
You know what, I thought it was Madhubala. It looked just like her, but because you said you were French Moroccan, I thought perhaps it was not Madhubala, but I should have known better bearing in mind the global popularity of Hindi cinema. I remember when I was staying in Alexandria with my brother who was working there at the time, I went on a trip to Cairo, and in the washroom of T.G.I. Fridays, whilst washing my hands, an Egyptian girl starting humming to 'Suraj Hua Madham' from the film, 'Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham', whilst doing her make up! It was so funny because out of all the songs in the world which she could have been humming, she was humming to a Bollywood song with a South Asian girl next to her!
Bearing this in mind, I have been offered a job in Morocco, so I suppose if I decide to take it up, I will have no shortage of people to share my love of Indian cinema with!
Anyway, yes, Madhubala is an absolute beauty. I watch the songs 'Teri Mehfil' and 'Pyaar Kiya Toh Darna Kya' from 'Mughal-e-Azam, not just because of the romance and the poetry of the songs, but to see her beautiful, moon-like face. You're right, the olden films and the songs are the best. Also, the actors and actresses had grit in their acting and possessed, as you say, "screen presence"-unlike these days, they are few and far between. My personal favourite era of commercial Hindi cinema is the 1960's. It seems we have a fair bit in common!
Also, your username is Hindi too, chikni chameli.
Salaam.
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you're welcome, Thanks be to God that we're here.
Also just freshly made
God's Systems of Guidance and Misguidance
http//free-minds.org/forum/index.php?topic=9603904.0 -
Salaam Chameli,
You know what, I thought it was Madhubala. It looked just like her, but because you said you were French Moroccan, I thought perhaps it was not Madhubala, but I should have known better bearing in mind the global popularity of Hindi cinema. I remember when I was staying in Alexandria with my brother who was working there at the time, I went on a trip to Cairo, and in the washroom of T.G.I. Fridays, whilst washing my hands, an Egyptian girl starting humming to 'Suraj Hua Madham' from the film, 'Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham', whilst doing her make up! It was so funny because out of all the songs in the world which she could have been humming, she was humming to a Bollywood song with a South Asian girl next to her!
Bearing this in mind, I have been offered a job in Morocco, so I suppose if I decide to take it up, I will have no shortage of people to share my love of Indian cinema with!
Anyway, yes, Madhubala is an absolute beauty. I watch the songs 'Teri Mehfil' and 'Pyaar Kiya Toh Darna Kya' from 'Mughal-e-Azam, not just because of the romance and the poetry of the songs, but to see her beautiful, moon-like face. You're right, the olden films and the songs are the best. Also, the actors and actresses had grit in their acting and possessed, as you say, "screen presence"-unlike these days, they are few and far between. My personal favourite era of commercial Hindi cinema is the 1960's. It seems we have a fair bit in common!
Also, your username is Hindi too, chikni chameli.
Salaam.
Yes, Bollywood is kinda popular in Morocco. D I hope you'll like the country if you ever take up this job in Morocco. Well, I think there'll be no problem for it though, Moroccans are very welcoming. D
I'm NEVER tired of watching Madhubala on screen. Not only was she extremely beautiful, but her passion for acting and being in front of camera just showed on screen. Mughal-E-Azam was the first movie of hers I watched (I think there was no better way to get introduced with her) and since then, I'm a fan. From the same movie, I also love Mohe Panghat Pe. She was no dancer, but she moved so gracefully in that song.
Another favourite of mine is Madhuri Dixit too, she's such a complete actress.
My personal favourite era is the 90s (though I wouldn't say it is Hindi cinema's best era), this era is just full of entertaining and good films, but it's closely followed by the 60s. My less favourite era would be the 80s which was really empty in terms of good films - even though there were some here and there but no more than that. Unfortunately, those last few years could be compared to the 80s. For some time, Hindi movies would be too westernized for my own taste and lost their "Indian-ess" somehow. Now lately, Hindi cinema producers only seem to release South Indian-like movies. But well, that's the same problem for me. When I want to watch South Indian movie, I just pick a Tamil movie; not a Hindi one. So I'd just want Hindi cinema to be itself.I have to agree about the talent most actresses used to possess before. In the new generation, there are so very few of them. One I kind of like is Anushka Sharma but she has not been very versatile so far. The only active actress I really like among them is Kareena Kapoor. I know that at least, I won't be disappointed by her acting (I remember how I used to dislike her in her early days ).
Yes, my username is Hindi too but I didn't take it because of the Chikni Chameli song. It's just because I really like it and its meaning. D
So, you're Indian then? D
Salaam.
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Shalom Aleikhem,
@Student of Allah Next time I want to babble about my life, I'll take your advice and make a documentary. ;D Btw, I've checked your blog and it's really good. Keep up the good work!
Thanks, I will review your documentary in my blog for free. (As if anyone would actually pay me no matter who's film I review..lol )
Peace
------------ Student of Allah -
My goodness Chameli, you are much more of a Bollywood fan than I could ever imagine to be!
Yes, the best films at the moment are from South India, they have such a wonderful fraternity there. In many ways, I would say they are much more advanced than Bollywood. I have got a mental list of the South Indian films which I must watch!
I also wasn't a fan of Kareena Kapoor's either for the first few years, but I just find her so endearing when she is in love. I agree with you absolutely about Anushka Sharma, she is good, but no versatility. She has been quite boring so far and not pushed the bar. This might be because her introduction to Bollywood was opposite Shah Rukh Khan. I liked her in the song 'Ainyvi' from 'Band, Baja, Bharaat', being Punjabi, I love that song. It is a very Punjabi song, in its lyrics and its spirit.
The 1980's, eh. I was brought up on that stuff! There were films with social messages, communism and socialism were themes which were explored in the 1980's from earlier periods. I have a little soft spot for them, not least because of the clothes and the hairstyles!
Not to worry, I was only making reference to the song as opposed to calling you "chikni chameli". It is much better to be chameli than be a chikni (in my humble opinion, anyway!). Yes, chameli is beautiful. Traditionally, in the South Asian culture, women put them in their hair, especially, married women! Perhaps, one day I will do this too! )
Salaam.
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My goodness Chameli, you are much more of a Bollywood fan than I could ever imagine to be!
Yes, the best films at the moment are from South India, they have such a wonderful fraternity there. In many ways, I would say they are much more advanced than Bollywood. I have got a mental list of the South Indian films which I must watch!
I also wasn't a fan of Kareena Kapoor's either for the first few years, but I just find her so endearing when she is in love. I agree with you absolutely about Anushka Sharma, she is good, but no versatility. She has been quite boring so far and not pushed the bar. This might be because her introduction to Bollywood was opposite Shah Rukh Khan. I liked her in the song 'Ainyvi' from 'Band, Baja, Bharaat', being Punjabi, I love that song. It is a very Punjabi song, in its lyrics and its spirit.
The 1980's, eh. I was brought up on that stuff! There were films with social messages, communism and socialism were themes which were explored in the 1980's from earlier periods. I have a little soft spot for them, not least because of the clothes and the hairstyles!
Not to worry, I was only making reference to the song as opposed to calling you "chikni chameli". It is much better to be chameli than be a chikni (in my humble opinion, anyway!). Yes, chameli is beautiful. Traditionally, in the South Asian culture, women put them in their hair, especially, married women! Perhaps, one day I will do this too! )
Salaam.
I love the "Ainyavi" song. And I liked Band Baaja Baarat, even though it was not flawless. The film had managed to be modern and yet desi in its essence. That was refreshing from all the Western-wannabe "movies" Hindi cinema producers were churning out those last few years.
Oh well, I have to admit I don't know that much about the 80s. Though there were some gems, like Masoom (with Naseeruddin Shah and Shabana Azmi). But, you seem to know much more than me about that era so feel free to advise me any movie and I'll look it up. yay
Peace.
peace