So where does one go from here?
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Peace, thread starter! I hope you will change your user name soon due to not being scared anymore.
It's great that you're here. The truth is mind blowing, life changing, this is so. Satan wants you to think it's scary. My own reaction to the truth has historically been to heed Satan and deny it, only less and less so as time goes by. I hope to one day be able to accept the truth fully, though I suspect this might have to wait until judgement day.
My own denying of truth has made me try to accept some ready-made doctrine or other (like you seem to have done), so I wouldn't have to for myself, nor would I have to trust in the guidance of the Lord.Some posters in this thread would have you accept doctrine based on numerological infatuation. They give bad advice that you should ignore, in my opinion.
My advice to you is to stay clear of the doctrine of others. You obviously know how to find truth within yourself. Keep at it, and you will find more and more insights. These will be confirmed by the Qur'an. It's a gradual process, at least for me it is.
You should pray, and you should relax, because you are safe in the hands of the One who is Merciful beyond comprehension.
You should try to check all of your assumptions, often. You should try to let go, trust in your Creator, let Him show you what's true and false, let Him take care of you.
Then you follow the truth as best you can and ask forgiveness for your shortcomings. Pray for patience!Best wishes, don't be scared, it's better than alright! God bless you!
I cannot say it any better than this brother has said it.
Alhamdullilah you are being guided, peace and blessings be upon you sister.
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Thank you to everyone here. I believe my hugest hurdle will be not following doctrine. I was in the military for goodness sakes...I am so used to rules, rules, rules. The funny thing is that doctrine is always the reason I end up leaving a denomination/religion at some point.
I have read up on many subjects as far as God alone...the first was about Mr. Rashad Khalid. I quickly left that website, simply because some of the things he mentioned reminded me too much of numerology. I don't believe that God would have some mysterious revelation based on a number in the Quran...plus I am horrible at math, so I probably wouldn't figure it out anyway.
From my journey (and it has been quite a journey, believe me) I have come to this conclusion The only thing we can do is serve God to the best of our ability, and if we are going to do it, do it because we honestly believe in a Creator. Don't do it because your family did it, your society does it, or because you are afraid of some horrendous punishment if you don't. I find those are the main reasons most people follow religion, not because they actually desire to know or worship God. I can't imagine my life without God in it.
I do believe that my husband is abusive to a degree. It seems to be a disease within the African American male converts in the United States. They take Islam as some sort of gang in which Allah is the "Teflon Don" (may God forgive me for that analogy) and Muhammed the second in command. They are so blinded by the power it seems to give them. If I disagree with my husband on any point, he calls up his gang and I am immediately admonished by two or three other men that have never met me, but believe I am disobedient and borderlining disbelief in Islam. Guess I don't have the mental capacity to understand the religion on my own. I am even further insulted by the fact that my husband didn't accept any form of religion until he was incarcerated, even though his father practiced Islam. I, on the other hand, have been at it since the age of 17 or so. My husband couldn't comprehend how I was familiar with the stories of Moses, Abraham, and Jesus when I hadn't even been a Muslim for more than a month. When I told him those stories were in the Bible, he just scoffed.
I want to thank all of you for your support and the links you have provided. I will give all of them a view to see what I can learn.
One more question The only Quran I have at home is the Yusuf Ali version...can anyone recommend a better English translation of the Quran for me to study? I would appreciate it!
In peace,
Amina
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I have always known God existed. Ever since I was a little girl, I just knew something greater than I was out there. The first time I ever read the Bible was the book of Revelations and it scared the crap out of me. It didn't make me fear God or anything like that...I just understood it as the end days being something frightening.
I have been to almost every aspect of Christianity Non-denominational (I call them the "do whatever I want because the blood of Jesus covers me" Christians), fire and brimstone (Pentecostals who pray 24 hours out of the day and forbid women to cut their hair) and moderate Christians (Protestant). Nothing ever sat right with me about them, and then I found the J.W.'s. They blew me away with their study of the Bible. I enjoyed learning what the Bible said and turning away from false practices. Then they told me hell was not eternal, that God wasn't so cruel that he would allow people to burn forever. When I asked what would happen, they told me "You will just burn up and cease to exist." Uhhh...the Bible says that the fire will never be put out and there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth." Then they told me that if I got married and then divorced, I could not remarry unless the reason I divorced was due to adultery. Huh?
Along came Islam that day, and I fought it tooth and nail at first. Then it started to make sense God didn't need an intercessionary, didn't have a Son, and yes...hell exists. I took to wearing hijab right away, as I understood modesty and appreciated it. Then the little nuances started popping up
-Don't eat with your left hand. Shaitan eats with his left hand.
-Sleep on your right side. Never on your stomach.
-No perfume...if a man smells you, you will have sin upon yourselfThe worst was the hadith about how more women were in hell than men. That one burned me up...and my husband used it effectively to constantly remind me that if I screwed up, I already had one strike against me. So not only was I finding all kinds of inconsistencies in Islam, I was learning that my husband was one of "those" Muslim men. Great.
As I read more about Islam, I began to see that the Qu'ran was not about exclusivity at all. I also began to see how the three books tie into one another. My husbands strict view of Islam began to wear away on me slowly...he even said I wasn't a Muslim. Just last night he called a friend up to prove me wrong because I told him that Muslims do indeed hold Prophet Muhammed at a higher esteem than other Prophets, even though the Qu'ran stated otherwise.
That is how I ended up here.
How do I start over? Can someone share a story of how they dealt with life after discovering the truth?
Its like trying to teach a monkey to be a human being- its not possible, unless Allah gives the monkey the intelect to use it like a human being - very rare , indeed.
Why on earth try and bring the monkey out of him, let him be a man with his low IQ. Why try and think he has the IQ of a Human Being. He has been worked on since child hood , and you think you can change him in a
day! come on.
Let him be what he is , and don't show him his Low IQ, Its embarasing for any person, and you will make your family get out of the rut and get a smile, and you will not be sinning at all but getting rewarded for it.Give him a Big Hug, and make him smile and you will feel the life again.
D
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Sister I know of what you speak. Most in the prison turn to Islam and follow the Salafi school of thought.
May Allah bless you and guide you.
And you forget that the Paradise is available only if one has reverence and respect for Muhammad sas.
Respect and Idolizing are two completely different things.
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357 My husband is extremely smart and capable of learning and understanding. Two years of marriage has shown me just how calculating and intelligent he is. In the beginning I thought maybe we just had misunderstandings, but as time went on, I realized he chose me as his wife for a reason...I was not strong in the deen and he knew I would hang on to every word he said just to please him.
Now that my eyes have been opened, I know he will not change unless it is the will of God. Any talking I do regarding worshipping God alone will fall upon unreceptive ears. As a matter of fact, my husband whole heartedly believes that he IS only worshipping God alone. He does not see his leaning on the hadith as a problem, he sees it as a majority of other Muslims do A requirement of Islam, and anyone who does otherwise is in disbelief.
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Sister I know of what you speak. Most in the prison turn to Islam and follow the Salafi school of thought.
May Allah bless you and guide you.
Respect and Idolizing are two completely different things.
Indelwyn,
I have a close friend who also was married to this type of brother. I am grateful that God placed her in my life, because she has been my sanity when I felt mine was long gone.
I was instructed this way If I have a question, I am first to go to the Quran. If the answer is not there/unclear, then I go to the hadith. If the answer is not there/unlcear, then balance what both the Quran and hadith say to get the best answer.
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357 My husband is extremely smart and capable of learning and understanding. Two years of marriage has shown me just how calculating and intelligent he is. In the beginning I thought maybe we just had misunderstandings, but as time went on, I realized he chose me as his wife for a reason...I was not strong in the deen and he knew I would hang on to every word he said just to please him.
Now that my eyes have been opened, I know he will not change unless it is the will of God. Any talking I do regarding worshipping God alone will fall upon unreceptive ears. As a matter of fact, my husband whole heartedly believes that he IS only worshipping God alone. He does not see his leaning on the hadith as a problem, he sees it as a majority of other Muslims do A requirement of Islam, and anyone who does otherwise is in disbelief.
If i may say a little more;
Now that my eyes have been opened, I know he will not change unless it is the will of God
Well don?t force him Let him find his God.
You should love him as a wife should, fulfilling the needs and wants of a husband and in time maybe God will choose him also.
But i don?t think you need to disrespect his deen to live by the quran ? that is my 100% belief anyways. -
357 And you are entitled to such. Thank you for your insight.
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Hello sister Amina,
My heart really goes out to you and I will pray that Allah makes things easier for you. I am glad that you found this forum. I hope you will read more posts on this forum and learn what others have to say. You also asked about other English Qurans, I have read the one that is linked with this site and I found it very helpful. I do a lot of studying and reading and it helps me to use this website www.quran.com It allows you to view all the well known English translations next to each other so you can compare them. You can also have the transliteration displayed as well. This is so handy.
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One more question The only Quran I have at home is the Yusuf Ali version...can anyone recommend a better English translation of the Quran for me to study? I would appreciate it!
Insofar, I have found the Muhammad Pickthall translation to be the most accurate. I have also heard good things of the Free-Minds translation but cannot speak from experience as I have not read it.
Salam.
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Ruuube,
I have begun reading the one posted on the free-minds site, but I will have a look into the one you mentioned also. I am unfortunately a very shallow person, so if something requires me to go too deep in order to gain understanding, I will more than likely avoid it. Hopefully that aspect of my personality will dissolve as I get older.
One of those things I don't like about myself but find almost impossible to change.
With Peace,
Amina