Sex Question
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Salam all,
I remember a funny conversation of mine with an imam and I asked him if it is allowed for a muslim to engage in oral sex with one's spouse. He told me it was not allowed because we use our mouth the recite the Quran. Even as a sunni back then, I didn't believe him.
However, is there anything in the Quran that indicates that oral sex, anal sex, or any other kind of kinky sex done with your SPOUSE is discouraged?
I'm sorry to be so blunt...especially to the single women here. oops )
Peace!
Tony -
Peace be upon you,
A verse that comes to mind is " do not enter the houses from the back doors, enter from the proper doors".
But not sure if that is in the right context.
We are told throughout to beware of excesses (money,intoxicants, etc)
A question to think about is WHY would a person want to have oral or anal sex? Is sex not pleasurable enough to have sex in the manner that was designed , penis in vagina? We KNOW this is the proper way because that is how children are produced. So to go BEYOND that would be an excess. Also, it is an EXCESS without any purpose except to stimuate the EMOTION/ANIMAL part of our being. Our job is to control that part of our being.
So it is the same scenario as with intoxicants, the God has not prohibited them, but we should avoid the excess, because it is only for meaningless PLEASURE. Actually, it is worse than that because the pleasure of intoxicants is said to have at least SOME BENEFIT, there is NO BENEFIT in the pleasure of EXCESSIVE sexual acts, that cant be obtained from normal sex.
Lastly, the excessive sexual acts are the creators of homosexuality, the LUST/PASSION for the act WITHOUT purpose.
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"error"
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Salaam,
Let me first address the issue of sexuality. Hearing the terms penis and vagina and their usages in the act of sexual intercourse is in no way out of place in such discussions. Sexuality is not to be a taboo subject and children must learn about sexuality, primary and secondary sexual characteristics, how they develop, why they develop the way they do, and the reasons for different sexual functions, such as the erections they may be experiencing or growth of pubic hair in their genital regions, or why they do not have any at all when their peers do. Females will wonder why their chests are growing and becoming tender and ask mommy why she has breasts and she does not. Questions about why men and women both have nipples, but why women alone have these bigger chests may arise. Children will learn about sex and sexuality regardless , but what is important is not that they learn it, because they will, but the quality of what they learn is important. There is no need to keep the penis, vagina, and any other sexual word or description under the sheets.
Regarding anal and oral sex, I do not personally feel they are forbidden. The mouth is a very sensual organ, but if we look at sex the way Kyle has portrayed it and such people as Dr. Shabbir, then one must ask, why do adults kiss, should this not be wrong in light of what they say? What about the caresses we give to our partners are these too wrong? I do not see anything wrong with these because these are all part of the sexual experience. I think anal intercourse may be a good road for those couples who do not wish to get pregnant just yet. Also keep in mind oral sex is not just given to males, it is given to females too. There is fellatio, the licking and sucking of the penis, and there is cunnilingus, the licking and sucking of the vulva.
Joe
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Peace be upon you Dell,
I understand where you are coming from with your request and I appreciate the steps you took in choosing the most appropriate words to make sure it was understood that you are not commanding, but just humbly requesting.
With that said, it will be difficult for me to grant that request because the God has told us not to conceal the truth, and if the question is asked, we have a duty to respond. Personally, I do not see the harm in my post, especially since I am not condoning the EXCESS practices. Further, I noramlly don't bring these topics up, but when I see a topic being discussed, I like to challenge myself to bring forth a response, because I want to be able to understand as much as possible.
Yes, with freedom comes responsibility, but not fear. We cannot fear the TRUTH being spoken. I can understand if I was just haphazardly talking about pornographic stories, but I am not, we are talking about the God's design of the human faculties, and which way is right. I know tradition has us believing that we should not discuss this until a certain time (when is that time anyway?), but we have to let go of tradition.
Please do not take any of this as a disrepect as I have nothing but respect for you.
I must address Joe's statement then I will be done with my responses. Perhaps the moderators will delet this thread once all the responses are done.
Regarding anal and oral sex, I do not personally feel they are forbidden. The mouth is a very sensual organ, but if we look at sex the way Kyle has portrayed it and such people as Dr. Shabbir, then one must ask, why do adults kiss, should this not be wrong in light of what they say?
What is the purpose of kissing? Why do people exchange saliva? I would say it is because of imitation. There are some cultures that do not kiss, they see it as vile. So yes, I would include sexual kissing along with the rest.
What about the caresses we give to our partners are these too wrong?
I am not sure about this one, there may be some benefit in the "energies" that our electromagnetic bodies give off, I cannot answer this one yet.
I do not see anything wrong with these because these are all part of the sexual experience.
Whose sexual experiecne? Who taught us this format?
I think anal intercourse may be a good road for those couples who do not wish to get pregnant just yet.
It is my understanding that semen deposited in the anal cavity causes disease after a period of time because the lining of the "rear end" was not designed to accept that substance.
Also keep in mind oral sex is not just given to males, it is given to females too. There is fellatio, the licking and sucking of the penis, and there is cunnilingus, the licking and sucking of the vulva.
Yes, but for what purpose? I think that needs to be reflected on.
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Salaam Kyle,
What is the purpose of kissing? Why do people exchange saliva? I would say it is because of imitation. There are some cultures that do not kiss, they see it as vile. So yes, I would include sexual kissing along with the rest.
People kiss each other because it is sensual. It is a good feeling that brings them pleasure.
Whose sexual experiecne? Who taught us this format?
It is a learned format.
Yes, but for what purpose? I think that needs to be reflected on.
For pleasure. Sex is not all about impregnating your mate, it is about satisfying our sexual needs and this includes the need to orgasm, and satisfying our labido.
Joe
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Peace be upon you Brother Joe,
People kiss each other because it is sensual. It is a good feeling that brings them pleasure.
It is a learned format.
For pleasure. Sex is not all about impregnating your mate, it is about satisfying our sexual needs and this includes the need to orgasm, and satisfying our labido.
Yes, I understand the pleasure of sex and I enjoy pleasure like the next guy. But my thoughts recently have focused on PURPOSE. I know this is not what many of us want to hear, including myself, but I am just trying to reason this all the way through. When we talk about PLEASURES, what comes to mind is the verse where the God talks about hose who take thier system(deen) for mere amusement. What does that mean? To me, it means that there are people who only seek PLEASURES, but we cannot let pleasure direct us. Imagine if we ate only that which pleasured our taste buds, we would be headed for failure.
In any case, I want to reflect on this more and see if I cant put together a stronger argument, if in fact I am right. That is yet to be determined.
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I disagree with idolfree, and I mean no offense to you, idolfree.
I believe that oral sex is a part of sex and if you are not making your husband/wife feel uncomfortable then it is ok. What's wrong with pleasing your spouse orally if he/she enjoys it?
We're not robots. But that's just my personal opinion.
Carry on
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Salaam Dell,
TheNabi, like I said to brother idolfree1, I CANNOT and WILL NOT ask you to change your style of writing/thinking. God tell us our decisions are based after due consultation and I just requested a humble thing. That's it. I am not looking for a fight here, so that being said, this will be my last post at this thread.
I understand your request and why you've made such a request. I see that you find sex as an embarrassing/unclean thing;
we have to make sure we keep this forum clean and welcome for people of all ages.
however, what is important is the truth and the courage to not hide those things that should not be hidden . What will be most humble in my opinion is to accept sexuality and stop thinking of it only in negative terms, because like all things good it can be made bad.
Joe
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Salaam Kyle,
See, there is pleasure and excessive unneeded pleasure or pleasure that is altogether gone, or nearly so. There is the pleasure of serving Allah and there is the pleasure of pleasing your spouse and in return getting that favor. In alquran is it not pointed out to us that spouses are to be a comfort to one another? When we are told to go into our spouses I'm not sure if one should take it as straight coitus and then that is that.
Joe
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Salam Everybody,
If anal sex is morally condemned by most people from all religions and ethnic groups, then why wonder about what islam says about it. Why not just accept the fact that it is simply not a good practice because
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It helps in transmitting more STDs(sexually trasmitted disease) than any other form of sex.
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It is painful for the woman and probably she will not feel pleasure(although I heard that there are women getting multiple orgasms with anal sex). It also cause anal fissures.
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Not the natural way. And in the psychiatric and psychologic communities considered abnormal and pathologic(trend decreases however).
I think anal intercourse may be a good road for those couples who do not wish to get pregnant just yet.
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As a doctor I can list many comfortable ways of contraception amongst which there is no anal sex.
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The smell is awful especially when you are in.
With all these here(not a complete list of course), I dont need to question whether is prohibited in quran or not.
Salam habibi
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Peace all,
Except for anal sex, one can enjoy kissing, caressing, touching and fondling with the entire body including hair, chest, thighs, legs, feet, hands, face, bottoms, back, ears, etc. before even getting ready to "indulge". A soothing sensual massage could be pleasing as well, and vice versa, which both partners can enjoy, not to mention the begging positions.
A HOT topic, hopefully not revolting/embarrasing. Just my side of views.
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Joe What majority thinks is not necessarily true. Right.
However personally I believe anal sex is wrong(the majority) until proven otherwise.... Unless proven otherwise ACE-I therapy should be continued lifelong ...
... any unconscious patient from unknown cause at a farm,
research or industrial setting to have toxic exposure unless proven otherwise. ...Any cardiac intracavitary mass in an infant is suggestive for a cardiac
rhabdomyoma unless proven otherwise.... death is a tragedy, two is suspicious and three is murder, unless proven otherwise
D
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Peace be upon you all,
Very good discussion.
Some observations I have are the following, sexual acts stimulate the animal side of the human, so when looking at animals themselves, they do not appear to just have sex with no purpose.
I do not think that massaging is wrong because the hands are made to manipulate things, which is why our thumbs are placed where they are. But when we talk about oral pleasure, the mouth/tounge do not appear to be designed for that. We taste and consume things for energy, there is nothing "tasty" about oral "pleasure", which is why they sell all kinds of fruit flavored lotions, etc.
When a man and woman get sexually excited, the man becomes "firm" and the woman becomes "moist", what does that point to? Where do those signs guide us? To the mouth? Or the rear end?
The God tells us constantly to remain chaste and to get married, I think what is being said is that we should select the best mate, one who has faith in the God/the God's system, and then when you have sex you procrerate and raise a child according to the God's system.
I do not think there is anything wrong to have sex the proper way for just enjoyment from time to time, but it should not go to the excess. That is how I see it at this point.
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A question to think about is WHY would a person want to have oral or anal sex? Is sex not pleasurable enough to have sex in the manner that was designed , penis in vagina?
Salam idolfree,
Some men have premature ejaculation and most women climax too long plus some other sexual problems that take away sexual pleasure. Yes sometimes the simple penis in vagina sex is not pleasureable enough.
Peace!
Tony -
Impure is Forbidden
Salam all,
Is there anything in the Quran that indicates that oral sex, anal sex, or any other kind of kinky sex done with your SPOUSE is discouraged?006.145
Say I do not find in that which has been revealed to me anything forbidden for an eater to eat of except that it be what has died of itself, or blood poured forth, or flesh of swine-- For That Surely Is UNCLEAN-002.222
And they ask you about menstruation. Say It is an illness ; therefore keep aloof from the women during the menstrual discharge and do not go near them until they have become clean; then when they have cleansed themselves, go in to them as Allah has commanded you; surely Allah loves those who turn much , and He loves those who purify themselves.Go into them as Allah has commanded! So have intercourse as Allah has commanded. Allah commands PURITY. The rest of the courses are but your OWN desires and deviation from the truthfulness. You know what is pure and what is impure. Soap and water; detergent and sterilization canot bring on the intended purity. There are parts impure in our body and they are!