Does anyone else worry they will become an atheist?

NotSure

I've had so many shocks and so many times that I felt I was so certain of something and it was as though the rug has pulled out from beneath my feet. I sometimes feel utterly lost. I don't what is true. I know nothing. At least that's what's ringing in my head. I worry I will become an atheist. But- I remind myself- there's somewhere in the Quran that talks about disbelievers and it says something to this effect "do they disbelieve because reason leads them to disbelieve (as people like Richard Dawkins claim) or is their disbelief rooted in their wanting to ignore God and follow their desires (i.e., in the words of a self-proclaimed devil-worshipper, "do as thou wilt&quot." Anyways, that bits helps me. Because I constantly see sex all around me and it is constantly being promoted and being that I live in a place where it's relatively easy to "hook up" with women it's hard for me to not want to follow my lusts instead of waiting till marriage like I should. And I know if I do become an atheist, in spite of superficial appearances I might assume to deceive myself and others, I think that would be the real reason I would not want to be a muslim. I was not chaste before I become a muslim plus I got introduced to porn when I was like 12 and I feel a constant state of regret that I have polluted my mind in those ways and made those mistakes that make God's path harder to follow.

On the plus side, I looked at an atheist website. Apparently, atheists are still shallow and still cling to this insane idea that science can replace religion. So that was helpful in making me not wanting to join their ranks.

Anyways, sorry for the long rambling. I've just been distressed and felt like venting.

es

Salaam,

If you are an Atheist, then you are an Atheist. Why do you fear being an Atheist? Is there something in particular which you're struggling with (apart from the sex) -in terms of what is written in scripture?

We are all sexual beings (barring those of us who are asexual), so at some point, you are going to face temptation. It isn't the desire that you ought to worry about-the fact that you have desire is normal because Allah SWT has created you that way-it is how you choose to deal with it. In this day and age, we are all constantly surrounded by sexual imagery, but it is merely an illusion. I am sure a woman who is your wife in the "eyes" of God, with human attributes is much more attractive than just an aesthetic, photoshop-manipulated image. I suggest, perhaps, reading the relevant chapters in the Qur'an about chastity and marriage and temptation, etc. to contemplate upon your Lord's wisdom. When you know what God wants from you and why, then perhaps you will desire that which is purer for you. Insh'Allah.

I must admit, it isn't something which affects me much and I do think that is because I do, by the grace of God, pray a lot (at the very least, several hours per day). Perhaps praying more might help.

In regards to Allah, alhamdulillah, I have none. However, if there is something in particular which has got you into a quandary feel free to ask. This is a community with some excellent knowledge, praise God.

May God guide us all.

peace

Sajda.

P.S. How's your "lady friend" doing, anyway?

NotSure

Salam es

I've just been thinking lime this because I've been distressed. I had an anxiety attack at work today. Plus I haven't been getting sleep. So I've been having my faith tested and have been worried I will lapse into my old behavior from when I was ignorant and in darkness.

As for that lady-friend, there won't be any news in that department for a few weeks probably. I thought I was about to ask her out but right now is not a good time. I have too much going on and plus I'm not in a good mental state. So I'll wait a few weeks. If it's meant to happen, it'll happen. If not, Allah knows best. For now I'mma focus on myself and not on another person. Not out of selfish-ness but out of necessity.

Man_of_Faith

Peace NotSure,

It seems that you have some deep problems with yourself. But an important question is Do you believe 100% that there is a God or have you not drawn any final conclusion about that yet?

Something you might need to learn is some stubbornness, you may want to say to yourself "I want to believe!". And you should really ponder upon creation and if you are blessed with logic you shall realize the world needs to have a Creator or creation would have an extremely little probability to look like it does. I have written posts about my path to absolute certainty in many threads on this forum. You might want to look for them.

And if you are aware that there is a Creator you have a strong fundament to rely on. This is the very first step you shall take. And after that you must seek His Nearness. Please read my thread "Nearness and Guidance -> Wisdom and Knowledge -> Peace and Prosperity" and you will understand what I am talking about.

I personally come from a quite rocky past with a rogue-like living, much drugs, alcohol and smashing things in the streets and committing some petty crimes. Despite that I am where I am today. I have repented for my past sins and I sought His forgiveness for years and I prayed for Nearness and Guidance that I would get away from my ways. It worked as you may be able to see. Under all my life chaos I found the Truth (probably under influence of some sedative or something) when reflecting upon creation and God. In the beginning I was a pretty pathetic Believer, believing in God while still drinking and taking pills and being out on wild nights with cars and clubs. Gradually I started to heed God and change my habits. I had to say goodbye to at least one best friend I had at the time to be able to. This guy took cocaine and was knocking on my backyard door at 4am in the mornings in the weekends and I could not find peace with him in my life. It was difficult but eventually he gave up. These days he is running around at MC-clubs and I have no real clue what he is doing while I am a family father with a wife and son.

So conclusion is, do not believe your past or present sins necessarily will prevent you from being forgiven and becoming guided. But reform and seek help from God to change your habits. But first you must become certain that God is really real. Please reflect upon creation, maybe read some of my posts when I rambled about how unlikely this world is created on its own and I will pray for your Guidance. Seek his Nearness.

God bless you

IAMOP

I understand exactly where you are coming from, NotSure.

Used to have this worry for myself. It is a truly valid worry and I would heavily question the sincerity or honesty of someone who is lacking! To be certain of bullshit, is to be a loser.

An "atheist" who is atheist because they reject un-reason, injustice, etc is higher in rank than a person who claims themselves to submit to God by name yet does not question or use their minds.

Remember above all else this - God is the most sane reality that can be. The sane reality being, self-consistent. Everything has justice, a rhyme and a reason. Free from defilement and perversion. True peace, where all questions are answered. ALL questions, ALL of them.

I am not saying that X or Y concept under the name "God" is the most sane reality. No, I am saying the reverse. FIND the most sane sensible reality where goodness works, where thirst leads to the knowing of water and water leads to the knowing of thirst. Then, THAT sane reality, which you have found with logic, reason, elimination, emotion, experience, THAT sane reality, THAT one is God. You do not start off with your idea of God, or the name God, or the book describing God. No, you find the SANE REALITY, the REAL reality and give it a name. The name you shall give it, is "God". Then all things shall fit into place and you will understand the nature of everything and cease doubting. Who doubts sanity, sensibility, goodness, wholeness, perfection, logical explanation that makes perfect sense? None but the unjust!

Let me present some unjust scenarios so you can see what I mean

A man rapes a thousand women from childbirth to their death. Keeping them locked away under wraps, his slaves for life. Then they all die. There is nothing after the death. Life goes on, in the universe. This is the free-for-all judgement/retribution free universe that real Goodness-opposers dearly desire, because it suits their fancies.

Sum total A thousand life long experiences of intense torturous pain and shame and guilt and unpeace. A single experience of pure hedonism but yet there is no satisfaction, no quenching, only a ravenous belly that wishes to eat forever and destroy all in its path

A man kills a single fly accidentally or on purpose. He dies. For this crime he is punished in Hell for eternity. Literally eternity, not figuratively eternity, not "to abide therein for a long time" eternity... ETERNITY.
Sum total A life destroyed once, another life experiences malice or accidental termination of another => judgement => the other life is resurrected and carries on eternally in Paradise, while the man experiences eternal pain; the total experience = infinite suffering because 1 life in eternal suffering is enough to make the entirety of Life (Al-Haqq/Al-Hayy) an eternal suffering. So long as even a single grain of dust of my Self, my eternal Being is suffering, even at my own discretion, my entire Being is suffering, my entire Self is suffering. I am unjust to my Self yet I have inscribed mercy upon my Self. Paradise does not really exist...

So you see? These are two divergent opposites. Do you know what they have in common? They are both batshit insane and far removed from God, God is Light. Light is not unjust but both these realities are unjust beyond measure. There is nothing sane about them.

To understand Justice, look at the sum total of all experiences. You are a single Being, adding up. 1 unit of pleasure here, 1 unit of pain there, add it ALL up, add up the afterlife into the mix. What is the result? Suffering is inherently unjust, Peace is always just.

Yet... guess what!

One side of it is what Goodness-rejectors/al-kafirun absolutely believe in out of their perverse and ravenous desire for satiation of greed; and the other side is what you will recognise most religious people believe in - exposing their hypocrisy and the very same desire to experience Satiation at the expense of Suffering.

Peace can never be attained via exchanging Happiness for Sadness. This is what is known as Samsara, where karma is constantly swapped, a being is either in heaven or hell but always the heaven is transient making the hell intrinsically eternal.

That which is not the eternal Peace is not Peace, for if it can be disturbed or altered, it is not Peace.
And transient suffering buys transient retribution but transient good brings eternal fruit

So you have two sides of human beings, who pretend to have opposing beliefs but the reality is that they deep down desire this Reality of perversion, the Reality that cannot exist, they desire falsehood. They are one and the same and they all belong in Hell together. Hell is the very reality they seek to weave, they desire to alter the Eternal to create Hell! To create Eternal Hell! Incredible isn't it!

In all these cases they will exchange suffering of "others" with happiness for "Me" - all of them have taken their desires for ilah/judge/ruler/God. But there are no "others", there is only You, the omnipresent witness that sees through all eyes and hears through all ears. Hence La ilaha, ilallah! See?

So how can I have a single soul suffering, in the end? If my hand earns one slap because it slapped another face, I pay it one slap back. If I say "I'm going to set you on fire for eternity" then I am being truly unjust and I deserve in Hell! And as you see, if one part of the body is injured or in pain, even deservedly, the entire consciousness can only see the pain, it is enveloped by it. Pain is a rift in the Reality and perfection does not have rifts.

Now, the man who raped a thousand women for life... all he has to do is pay back all thousand lifetimes of rapes! Nothing MORE! It stops there. Anything beyond that is unjust! Yes, it's a VERY LONG TIME. But it is not eternity. You can see how the perverse have altered the word... Paradise on the other hand, must be eternal. Because again, if Peace can be interrupted it cannot be Peace. And to have Hell existent eternally "alongside" Paradise is to create unPeace, this cannot be! One part of Paradise is total freedom. If one grain of dust of that place is cordoned off from the rest and designated as "Hell" eternally, then Paradise does not exist, it is not truly free.

If you start with a particular concept or set of attributes and name that God, then test it against Reality, you will for one find flaws no matter what. And for two you shall have to compare infinite such "Gods" against each other. Now do you have time to sit there and say "let God = this concept, is it sensible? let God = that concept, is it sensible?" - ? NO! You will die soon, you do not have time! Even this alone should be a sufficient sign that you only need to look for one thing, the true Self who you already are! It's pointing in the direction of one. So look for the one entity which fits the definition - look for sensibility, purity, wholeness and then Godself shall be there waiting with open arms.

You are looking for the one right fact, out of an infinite set of options. Now, do you compare all the options to each other and arrive via deduction? It's much easier for a mortal to look for the right fact itself and forget all the options, just look for the fact. 3 options, 2 ways to be wrong. 1000000000 options, 999999999 ways to be wrong! N options, (N-1) ways to be wrong! The odds are not favourable to say the least.

Now my friend, knowing this information, consider the steps you lead your feet through. God cannot be questioned, for God's nature is perfection and perfection is unquestionable of its own nature.

But here on this plane you are free to question. Why... because YOU ARE LOOKING FOR GOD. How shall you eliminate false Gods if you cannot be an atheist in some Gods?

I am an atheist in infinite Gods, except a single God, the God. La ilaha ilallah. Simple! And you may see why...

It is possible to be free of doubt entirely. This is a stage of meditative understanding where you see your true Nature. Once you know your true Nature, the Self that encompasses all things, you have no room for darkness, there is only infinite Light.

peace

NotSure

Peace NotSure,

It seems that you have some deep problems with yourself. But an important question is Do you believe 100% that there is a God or have you not drawn any final conclusion about that yet?

Something you might need to learn is some stubbornness, you may want to say to yourself "I want to believe!". And you should really ponder upon creation and if you are blessed with logic you shall realize the world needs to have a Creator or creation would have an extremely little probability to look like it does. I have written posts about my path to absolute certainty in many threads on this forum. You might want to look for them.

And if you are aware that there is a Creator you have a strong fundament to rely on. This is the very first step you shall take. And after that you must seek His Nearness. Please read my thread "Nearness and Guidance -> Wisdom and Knowledge -> Peace and Prosperity" and you will understand what I am talking about.

I personally come from a quite rocky past with a rogue-like living, much drugs, alcohol and smashing things in the streets and committing some petty crimes. Despite that I am where I am today. I have repented for my past sins and I sought His forgiveness for years and I prayed for Nearness and Guidance that I would get away from my ways. It worked as you may be able to see. Under all my life chaos I found the Truth (probably under influence of some sedative or something) when reflecting upon creation and God. In the beginning I was a pretty pathetic Believer, believing in God while still drinking and taking pills and being out on wild nights with cars and clubs. Gradually I started to heed God and change my habits. I had to say goodbye to at least one best friend I had at the time to be able to. This guy took cocaine and was knocking on my backyard door at 4am in the mornings in the weekends and I could not find peace with him in my life. It was difficult but eventually he gave up. These days he is running around at MC-clubs and I have no real clue what he is doing while I am a family father with a wife and son.

So conclusion is, do not believe your past or present sins necessarily will prevent you from being forgiven and becoming guided. But reform and seek help from God to change your habits. But first you must become certain that God is really real. Please reflect upon creation, maybe read some of my posts when I rambled about how unlikely this world is created on its own and I will pray for your Guidance. Seek his Nearness.

God bless you

Salaam Man of Faith,

Sometimes the voice that you think is God's voice is actually the voice of the devil. And I had had the two mixed up and was doing insane self-destructive things to myself that were impacting my mental and physical health while thinking it would bring me closer to God. And yesterday I realized that and it was such a shock to me that I became somewhat terrified. Kinda like when I first realized I didn't believe in the hadith. But anyways, I'm much better now.

I believe in God and I believe in the Quran. And thank you for sharing some of your story. My background was similar and I relate to it- especially the part about how when you first became a muslim you still continued to use intoxicants. I used to smoke weed with other muslims after I first discovered the Quran. I even found ways to justify it with the Quran! (or so I thought)

I understand exactly where you are coming from, NotSure.

Used to have this worry for myself. It is a truly valid worry and I would heavily question the sincerity or honesty of someone who is lacking! To be certain of bullshit, is to be a loser.

An "atheist" who is atheist because they reject un-reason, injustice, etc is higher in rank than a person who claims themselves to submit to God by name yet does not question or use their minds.

Remember above all else this - God is the most sane reality that can be. The sane reality being, self-consistent. Everything has justice, a rhyme and a reason. Free from defilement and perversion. True peace, where all questions are answered. ALL questions, ALL of them.

I am not saying that X or Y concept under the name "God" is the most sane reality. No, I am saying the reverse. FIND the most sane sensible reality where goodness works, where thirst leads to the knowing of water and water leads to the knowing of thirst. Then, THAT sane reality, which you have found with logic, reason, elimination, emotion, experience, THAT sane reality, THAT one is God. You do not start off with your idea of God, or the name God, or the book describing God. No, you find the SANE REALITY, the REAL reality and give it a name. The name you shall give it, is "God". Then all things shall fit into place and you will understand the nature of everything and cease doubting. Who doubts sanity, sensibility, goodness, wholeness, perfection, logical explanation that makes perfect sense? None but the unjust!

Let me present some unjust scenarios so you can see what I mean

A man rapes a thousand women from childbirth to their death. Keeping them locked away under wraps, his slaves for life. Then they all die. There is nothing after the death. Life goes on, in the universe. This is the free-for-all judgement/retribution free universe that real Goodness-opposers dearly desire, because it suits their fancies.

Sum total A thousand life long experiences of intense torturous pain and shame and guilt and unpeace. A single experience of pure hedonism but yet there is no satisfaction, no quenching, only a ravenous belly that wishes to eat forever and destroy all in its path

A man kills a single fly accidentally or on purpose. He dies. For this crime he is punished in Hell for eternity. Literally eternity, not figuratively eternity, not "to abide therein for a long time" eternity... ETERNITY.
Sum total A life destroyed once, another life experiences malice or accidental termination of another => judgement => the other life is resurrected and carries on eternally in Paradise, while the man experiences eternal pain; the total experience = infinite suffering because 1 life in eternal suffering is enough to make the entirety of Life (Al-Haqq/Al-Hayy) an eternal suffering. So long as even a single grain of dust of my Self, my eternal Being is suffering, even at my own discretion, my entire Being is suffering, my entire Self is suffering. I am unust to my Self yet I have inscribed mercy upon my Self. Paradise does not really exist...

So you see? These are two divergent opposites. Do you know what they have in common? They are both batshit insane and far removed from God, God is Light. Light is not unjust but both these realities are unjust beyond measure. There is nothing sane about them.

To understand Justice, look at the sum total of all experiences. You are a single Being, adding up. 1 unit of pleasure here, 1 unit of pain there, add it ALL up, add up the afterlife into the mix. What is the result? Suffering is inherently unjust, Peace is always just.

Yet... guess what!

One side of it is what Goodness-rejectors/al-kafirun absolutely believe in out of their perverse and ravenous desire for satiation of greed; and the other side is what you will recognise most religious people believe in - exposing their hypocrisy and the very same desire to experience Satiation at the expense of Suffering.

Peace can never be attained via exchanging Happiness for Sadness. This is what is known as Samsara, where karma is constantly swapped, a being is either in heaven or hell but always the heaven is transient making the hell intrinsically eternal.

That which is not the eternal Peace is not Peace, for if it can be disturbed or altered, it is not Peace.

So you have two sides of human beings, who pretend to have opposing beliefs but the reality is that they deep down desire this Reality of perversion, the Reality that cannot exist, they desire falsehood. They are one and the same and they all belong in Hell together. Hell is the very reality they seek to weave, they desire to alter the Eternal to create Hell! To create Eternal Hell! Incredible isn't it!

In all these cases they will exchange suffering of "others" with happiness for "Me" - all of them have taken their desires for ilah/judge/ruler/God. But there are no "others", there is only You, the omnipresent witness that sees through all eyes and hears through all ears. Hence La ilaha, ilallah! See?

So how can I have a single soul suffering, in the end? If my hand earns one slap because it slapped another face, I pay it one slap back. If I say "I'm going to set you on fire for eternity" then I am being truly unjust and I deserve in Hell! And as you see, if one part of the body is injured or in pain, even deservedly, the entire consciousness can only see the pain, it is enveloped by it. Pain is a rift in the Reality.

Now, the man who raped a thousand women for life... all he has to do is pay back all thousand lifetimes of rapes! Nothing MORE! It stops there. Anything beyond that is unjust! Yes, it's a VERY LONG TIME. But it is not eternity. You can see how the perverse have altered the word... Paradise on the other hand, must be eternal. Because again, if Peace can be interrupted it cannot be Peace. And to have Hell existent eternally "alongside" Paradise is to create unPeace, this cannot be! One part of Paradise is total freedom. If one grain of dust of that place is cordoned off from the rest and designated as "Hell" eternally, then Paradise does not exist, it is not truly free.

If you start with a particular concept or set of attributes and name that God, then test it against Reality, you will for one find flaws no matter what. And for two you shall have to compare infinite such "Gods" against each other. Now do you have time to sit there and say "let God = this concept, is it sensible? let God = that concept, is it sensible?" - ? NO! You will die soon, you do not have time! Even this alone should be a sufficient sign that you only need to look for one thing, the true Self who you already are! It's pointing in the direction of one. So look for the one entity which fits the definition - look for sensibility, purity, wholeness and then Godself shall be there waiting with open arms.

You are looking for the one right fact, out of an infinite set of options. Now, do you compare all the options to each other and arrive via deduction? It's much easier for a mortal to look for the right fact itself and forget all the options, just look for the fact. 3 options, 2 ways to be wrong. 1000000000 options, 999999999 ways to be wrong! N options, (N-1) ways to be wrong! The odds are not favourable to say the least.

Now my friend, knowing this information, consider the steps you lead your feet through. God cannot be questioned, for God's nature is perfection and perfection is unquestionable of its own nature.

But here on this plane you are free to question. Why... because YOU ARE LOOKING FOR GOD. How shall you eliminate false Gods if you cannot be an atheist in some Gods?

I am an atheist in infinite Gods, except a single God, the God. La ilaha ilallah. Simple! And you may see why...

It is possible to be free of doubt entirely. This is a stage of meditative understanding where you see your true Nature. Once you know your true Nature, the Self that encompasses all things, you have no room for darkness, there is only infinite Light.

peace

Salaam IAMOP,

This is one of the main reasons I don't want to lose my faith. Without God, reality would be terrible and there would be no justice. And there would be no higher source of meaning than our own opinions and desires and we'd be stuck in the terrifying world depicted by postmodernism and Nietzsche and such. I would end up just becoming a hedonist.

Jafar

I've had so many shocks and so many times that I felt I was so certain of something and it was as though the rug has pulled out from beneath my feet. I sometimes feel utterly lost. I don't what is true. I know nothing. At least that's what's ringing in my head. I worry I will become an atheist. But- I remind myself- there's somewhere in the Quran that talks about disbelievers and it says something to this effect "do they disbelieve because reason leads them to disbelieve (as people like Richard Dawkins claim) or is their disbelief rooted in their wanting to ignore God and follow their desires (i.e., in the words of a self-proclaimed devil-worshipper, "do as thou wilt&quot."

If God = Deity
Then I'm an Atheist..

I don't believe any Deity exist, a human like being living outside from this universe within his/her/their own 'heavenly realm'. Just like what Paganists views of "God"/"Deity".

Although "Sentient beings living on another planet/universes" is pretty much possible.

To me, Atheism exist due to the 'wrong perception of God'...

Anyways, that bits helps me. Because I constantly see sex all around me and it is constantly being promoted and being that I live in a place where it's relatively easy to "hook up" with women it's hard for me to not want to follow my lusts instead of waiting till marriage like I should.

What does "Atheism" got to do with human sexual behavior and/or your sexual urge?

And I know if I do become an atheist, in spite of superficial appearances I might assume to deceive myself and others, I think that would be the real reason I would not want to be a muslim. I was not chaste before I become a muslim plus I got introduced to porn when I was like 12 and I feel a constant state of regret that I have polluted my mind in those ways and made those mistakes that make God's path harder to follow.

Again what does "Atheism" got to do with human sexual behavior and/or your sexual urge and/or porn?

On the plus side, I looked at an atheist website. Apparently, atheists are still shallow and still cling to this insane idea that science can replace religion. So that was helpful in making me not wanting to join their ranks.

Science is a methodology it is incompatible with religion/myth.
Within religion/dogmatism, asking certain questions is forbidden, let alone criticizing certain ideas coming from certain religious authority.
Within science, questioning things is recommended, criticizing old theory is acceptable if you have new evidence and facts.

Again science got nothing to do with Atheism.
And Atheism is not the opposite of Religion.

When Atheism (or other -ism such as Christianism, Sunniism, Judaism etc..) is being enforced and thought in 'dogmatic' manner (no criticism or questioning allowed) then Atheism shall become a religion by itself.

A good case of "Atheism become a religion" is by observing what happened during the heyday of USSR (Soviet Union). Where other religion besides Atheism was systematically oppressed. (Orthodoxism, Sunniism, Judaism etc..)
And in case you're wondering, pornographic materials was being suppressed by the Atheists regime during USSR times..

Salam / Peace

NotSure