Hello, Nice to Meet You!
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Peace Savannah
In age 19, but already have fiance ???.Yes it's normal in my society, but from my prespective it's too early cause that age is the time for enjoy our youth time not as real life (marriage).
But yes I hope you happy for what you choose and not any force.Btw welcome to this forum.
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Peace everyone, and thank you once again for your kind replies and for taking the time to write to me so detailed, I am very appreciative.
In response to my age and my engagement, we are both currently in University. He is studying English and Psychology while I am studying Food and Nutrition to become a Dietitian. We do not plan to marry now, but after we have graduated. Thank you for your concern though, I feel I would not be ready at this age yet. Oh! Also, it wasn't arranged, we met through a club we both managed during high school, the school radio that we DJ'd, haha! We have known each other now for four years. He is an excellent man and will be an excellent husband.
In response to the raw diet, haha! I do not eat raw meat, no. For my cats it is called the Prey Model Diet, where you feed them 80% muscle meat 10% bone 5% liver 5% secreting organ. They thrive on this diet and will live long and happy lives with little to no "normal" diseases, and no dental issues whatsoever. I feed myself raw as well in a way, but by this I mean raw fruits and vegetables and nuts and legumes. I do eat my meat cooked, fear not! Haha ;D
Since accepting true Islam into my life I even feel guilt to kill insects in my home, and either leave them be or set them free. Except house centipedes and larger spiders. I do away with those. shiver & God forgive me and little creepy centipedes and spiders forgive me.
In response to hijab, I wore it for a year believing I was doing something God loved and wanted me to do, but kept finding issues in my life because of wearing it such having to be paranoid at people's houses if I take the hijab off that a man will walk in the room and see me (and he wouldn't even care and neither would I so why am I even doing this?) and I couldn't swim in public or do anything that involves wearing tighter clothing (I have an irrational fear of going on theme park rides with loose clothing or scarves on because I fear they will catch on something and I will be strangled or squeezed or cut into pieces, I have no idea...) I stopped wearing hijab when I realized I wasn't wearing it for the purpose it was apparently for, but simply to fit in as a Muslim woman.
And thank you DrGm, I will remember to keep myself peaceful and ask God for guidance and calmness when I encounter such frustrations.
I hope I've covered everything, I have read everyone's replies and truly appreciate the advice I am being given. God bless you all, and I am happy there are others who believe as I do.
I have one concern. When I marry this Sunni man, will my Quran only belief clash with his Sunni ideology? He is very passionate about children being raised and educated properly and not confused. I do not want my children to believe in Hadith, and he does not want them to not believe in Hadith. What to do?
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Salaam and welcome
I have one concern. When I marry this Sunni man, will my Quran only belief clash with his Sunni ideology? He is very passionate about children being raised and educated properly and not confused. I do not want my children to believe in Hadith, and he does not want them to not believe in Hadith. What to do?
One can never predict how one's children will be. They may not even believe in God, so one cannot have any expectation in this regard. In regards to raising them in a particular milieu, perhaps you have answered your own question in regards to conflict.
All the best.
Salaam.
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Peace everyone, and thank you once again for your kind replies and for taking the time to write to me so detailed, I am very appreciative.
Well, I can't tell what you think of it, but I wrote it because they were general issues that were examples of what I was explaining. It wasn't really directed at you specifically, since I don't know whether you come from such a background. If anything, it would help a Pagan/follower of alternative religion/etc who reads it. There are quite a diverse amount of people reading this forum and although I'd like to start threads on different things and explain a lot, it would take too long so when I get an opportunity to mention something generally and examples then I put it in the post that it was at the very least, slightly related to. My references to modern Pagan spirituality can probably be found throughout this forum. At some time in the future I might start something more substantial, like a blog or something where I can explore the ideas I mentioned more. I know there is one Pagan who has a blog called a Pagan read the Bible. I like this kind of reflection, it's much more intelligent and considered than hurling criticism after criticism at someone else's path or religion like so many can do. Although I disagree with some things of course in every religion/spirituality, I can see in them some benefits, overlaps and elements of Islam , as a deen.
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What does he say when you ask him about all of this? There's a chance you will have problems, so you should speak to him about it before the wedding for sure. And the best piece of advice I can give you is never think you can change a person. People can change, but they have to change from within themselves, because THEY want to. I was not as young as you when I married my ex, and I know I thought he would change or that I could change him. So, i'm telling you what I wish someone had told me )
Best wishes,
Rebecca
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I have one concern. When I marry this Sunni man, will my Quran only belief clash with his Sunni ideology? He is very passionate about children being raised and educated properly and not confused. I do not want my children to believe in Hadith, and he does not want them to not believe in Hadith. What to do?
Peace,
I think you should think more and ponder about it because even on this forum I have read some stories about divorce and marriage problems because of this. It really depends on how strong your fianc?'s love and faith in hadiths.
It's kinda hypocritical to pick and choose only good hadiths to defend the hadiths.
You can find many ridiculous, absurd, evil and self-contradicting hadiths that have been posted on this forum and verses of the Quran that are against other books as religious sources and verses which hadiths contradict
Regards,
Yuliana -
I love him very much and know that having this difference in belief will not separate us. I feel no negativity towards him because of his opinion, I only wish he were more open minded and did more research. When I showed him articles describing Quran only he at first refused to even read it, then when he finally did he called it all bias (I still don't understand how) negative, and with very little support (which is untrue, there was support for almost every claim made and everything made perfect sense).
It is not my intention to change him to fit my ideas and opinions, but being honest with ourselves we obviously want our partner to agree on everything with us of course, I will not lie. But I love him how he is, Sunni or Quran only. We can work through these differences, I know. I just wish I knew some way to get him to put how he was raised and taught behind him and try to accept something he's not used to, somehow. Psychologically I know it's a hard cookie to crack. But if he truly has no interest, I will not force him to change or ever hold his traditionally brought up religious beliefs against him.
Peace everyone )
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Salaam,
I love him very much and know that having this difference in belief will not separate us. I feel no negativity towards him because of his opinion, I only wish he were more open minded and did more research. When I showed him articles describing Quran only he at first refused to even read it, then when he finally did he called it all bias (I still don't understand how) negative, and with very little support (which is untrue, there was support for almost every claim made and everything made perfect sense).
It is not my intention to change him to fit my ideas and opinions, but being honest with ourselves we obviously want our partner to agree on everything with us of course, I will not lie. But I love him how he is, Sunni or Quran only. We can work through these differences, I know. I just wish I knew some way to get him to put how he was raised and taught behind him and try to accept something he's not used to, somehow. Psychologically I know it's a hard cookie to crack. But if he truly has no interest, I will not force him to change or ever hold his traditionally brought up religious beliefs against him.
Peace everyone
You don't intend to marry just yet, so that gives you a few years on the clock. Don't worry about tomorrow and enlightening him. Who knows if tomorrow will ever even come. You are only answerable for yourself; try to be the best you can be and ask Allah S.W.T. for guidance.
God bless you.
Ma assalaamah.
Sajda.
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I love him very much and know that having this difference in belief will not separate us. I feel no negativity towards him because of his opinion, I only wish he were more open minded and did more research. When I showed him articles describing Quran only he at first refused to even read it, then when he finally did he called it all bias (I still don't understand how) negative, and with very little support (which is untrue, there was support for almost every claim made and everything made perfect sense).
It is not my intention to change him to fit my ideas and opinions, but being honest with ourselves we obviously want our partner to agree on everything with us of course, I will not lie. But I love him how he is, Sunni or Quran only. We can work through these differences, I know. I just wish I knew some way to get him to put how he was raised and taught behind him and try to accept something he's not used to, somehow. Psychologically I know it's a hard cookie to crack. But if he truly has no interest, I will not force him to change or ever hold his traditionally brought up religious beliefs against him.
Peace everyone )
Peace,
Some ppl believe in things based on whims. So that applies to Sunni but also anyone including Quran only. The Quran mentions how some people would come to the Prophet and say things that please him but they actually believe in and cause corruption such as that found in war - destruction of crops and so on. There are also people who believe things based on purely one passing emotion and things like that.
There will be people who believe in Quran only for all sorts of reasons, sometimes it may even be as a reaction to hadith rather than the Quran and so on. It's just the way life is, and it seems like you don't need to figure out anything in particular because either he will come to believe in his own way, and there are people out there who follow a different spirituality but they seem to be devoutly following the concept of justice, equality and so on as stated in the Quran. So as other people have stated on this forum before its not really 'Quran only' because there are many Signs of Allah swt that ppl believe in.
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welcome probaly the reason why he wont accept Quran only is because he's been exposed and indocrinated to traditional Sunni way much longer than you have, So for him to accept that what he's been doing most of his life is a "lie" would be very difficult to just accept.
If i may ask, what made you become a muslim? Did it start with your fiance? did he teach you things? or did you feel somehow drawn to it?
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Salaam,
Welcome to the forum.
I hope his sectarian belief system will not cause problems for you to in case you finally decide to marry. Religion tends to do the weirdest things to the minds of people when they let themselves become indoctrinated.
God bless you
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Salam Sister!
It's so nice to meet you! sun
I wish I could afford to feed my kitty a raw food diet. I totally agree with treating all animals the best we can.
About the worry of marring a Sunni man I can only tell you my experience with it.
I married my husband when I was following the sunni way so my husband and I were on the same page. I just started my journey just following the hadith. I've introduced my husband to some some different ideas. At first he was very negative. It was hard for him to have all his previous ideas questioned. Which is totally understanding. Now he a little bit more understanding. It's taken alot of patience and showing him things very slowly and kindly and alot of respect. It's very hard and it can be very frustrating at times. I'm pregnant and due in 3 months so it is very scary about what we're going to be teaching our kids. I can tell you if I had started this path before I got married I wouldn't have married my husband even though he is a wonderful man. Instead I would have looked for some one that follows the Quran only as well. Simply for the reason that we'd be on the same page, we'd be able to teach our children the same thing and it would save us from a lot of disagreements.
You know what is right for you. peace