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Gay and Muslim?

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Issues / Questions
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  • Z Offline
    Z Offline
    Zulf
    wrote on last edited by
    #99

    REFER HERE

    • take note the status of father-in-law and mother-in-law is much like your own father and mother. There are not party to the contract of marriage but equally affected by marriages. Is the Qur'an or INSTITUTION of marriage is all about sex? (ie. as per your argument that sex is marriage and marriage is sex) (3349), (2236-237), (55), (243) and (2233).

    Like the text hints at. We should separate contractees of marriage on one hand, and those affected by marriage on the other hand. Sex is not included with those that are just affected by marriage, like children, siblings and in-laws. The graphic could be misleading. Marriage may affect all what the graphic highlights, but it is not marriage as such. Marriage is a contract between two spouses.
    I believe huruf wants to say that sex is a distinguishing characteristic of marriage (practical part/result/premission of the contract).
    Sex is intimately connected to the constellation of marriage. Marriage gives permission to have sex. Sex is found in side marriage, but not outside. Having sex, therefore, is engaging in something which is part of marriage. Sex without marriage could perhaps then be seen as someone ripping a piece of marriage out of the whole, using it for temporary pleasure, and then throwing it away.... perhaps a bit like playing with someones feelings, for fun, and then just ditching that person like trash. It's like using something out of context (in the wrong context, for the wrong reasons) and then dumping it.

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    • D Offline
      D Offline
      drfazl
      wrote on last edited by
      #100

      Therefore Sex is marriage between a woman and a man (comments)
      Marriage between a woman and a man is sex.

      Marriage is a man and a woman becoming husband and wife which is legal and public decency; lots of intercourses on various issues involving life goes between them before they decide to unite in their lives as partners to deal with their lives.

      Sex is their private affair which they themselves engage in darkness and under cover; and to do it openly or talk of it plainly is not acceptable in a decent society.

      The definition of sexual intercourse

      sexual contact between individuals <- comments
      involving penetration

      esp. the insertion of a man's erect penis
      into a woman's vagina
      typically culminating in orgasm
      and the ejaculation of semen

      No. What you describe is sexual encounter!

      Before becoming engaged in marriage as man and wife many an intercourse on matters of life and living as partners have got exchanged between them, heart to heart. Their relations is soulful intercourse; physical intercourse between them again has love and affection and care would be predominant and of paramount importance to them. As a result of this lust shall not play a lead role there. This is the reason why a married woman and man would avoid talk or explicit narration on sex between them. Any decent married couple of orthodox nature do not find as admissible to their hearts such private subject to be spoken out publicly.

      Which Ayat? Law? Dictionary denies this!

      Peace.

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      • M Offline
        M Offline
        muslims
        wrote on last edited by
        #101

        Salam

        This is much of the issue of confusing the "Causation" with "Association".

        Human beings have an inherent tendency to "see" events associated or that "go together" as "events that cause one another"; ie. they conclude that because characteristic X (smoking) is associated with characteristic Y (death), that X therefore causes Y (death). Whereas someone may also die because of taking too much sugar (hyperinsulinism), no exercise or else.

        Similarly, because of "SEX" is associated with "MARRIAGE" therefore "SEX" causes "MARRIAGE".

        When we think this way, we are, however, often very wrong.

        Association or correlation does not prove CAUSATION!

        Sex = Penetration = Sexual Conducts

        Marriage = Contract = Duty = Deen

        Her argument = Sexual penetration = Duty (deen) to wife, children and relatives etc.

        Therefore the issue is what causes marriage?

        It is quite absurd to make a conclusion that it is all about sex, the sole determination factor! yes

        Peace

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        • D Offline
          D Offline
          drfazl
          wrote on last edited by
          #102

          Salam

          The word, 'Sex' is two gentle and constructively opposing genders designed as a set of unity, for the minds to become solemn and neutral. Lust and desire removed is sexual relation or intercourse of unifying the opposing genders. Marriage is solemn oath to live up to the expectation of the One, who created and ordained upon a community, such dignified relationship without talk of sexual intimacy between its men and women.

          Peace.

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          • M Offline
            M Offline
            muslims
            wrote on last edited by
            #103

            Salam

            Situation 1 Sex is not equal to marriage

            This is a clear ayat proving "marriage is not sex, and sex is not marriage". There are differences between the two words.

            And lawful to you are beyond these
            you seek them
            with your property
            desiring chastity
            NOT unlawful SEXual intercourse <- sex is not marriage
            (424)

            Situation 2 There are marriages, with or without Sex

            O You who have believed
            when you marry believing women
            and then divorce them <- marriage
            before you have touched them <- no sex
            then there is not for you any waiting period to count concerning them
            So provide for them and give them a gracious release
            (3349)

            Other references

            (3349), (2236-237), (55), (243) and (2233).

            Therefore, sex is not the "causation" of "marriage".

            Sex is not marriage.

            Peace

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            • D Offline
              D Offline
              drfazl
              wrote on last edited by
              #104

              Salam
              O You who have believed
              when you marry believing women
              and then divorce them <- marriage
              before you have touched them <- no sex
              then there is not for you any waiting period to count concerning them
              So provide for them and give them a gracious release
              (3349)

              Therefore, sex is not the "causation" of "marriage".

              Sex is not marriage.

              Peace

              Peace,

              What is that waiting period connected to?

              salam.

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              • M Offline
                M Offline
                muslims
                wrote on last edited by
                #105

                Salam

                I don't understand your point.

                Do you understand the issue and this discussion?

                The issue is whether there can be marriages without sex.

                and.. there will be no issue of "divorce" if there is no "marriage".

                Therefore, there is marriage, with or without sex.

                Therefore, sex is not the "causation" of marriage.

                Therefore, sex is not marriage.

                How hard can that be?

                The issue is not about things related to divorce procedure.

                Peace.

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                • D Offline
                  D Offline
                  drfazl
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #106

                  Salam,

                  I am not contradicting you but only favouring your point which is correct in my view.

                  O You who have believed
                  when you marry believing women
                  and then divorce them
                  before you have touched them
                  then there is not for you any waiting period to count concerning them
                  So provide for them and give them a gracious release
                  (3349)

                  The critical difference between men and women are men are lusty for sex in marriage; while women are more concerned about security by way wealth and property, than sex. Her intercourse before marriage on such matters with the man were falsehood and lies; upon marriage the real intercourse opens as the topic of concern from the woman's point of view, which he is unable to satisfactorily respond; as a result she does not allow him to sexually advance; and there ends the matter. He gets angry and divorces her before even he was able to lustfully touch her. Yet Allah's decree, 'the man has to spend half the Mahr he had promised her and leave her' for reason he had cheated her into marriage only for sex.

                  And she is fit for proper marriage with a good God-fearing man without waiting period.

                  Peace

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                  • M Offline
                    M Offline
                    muslims
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #107

                    and then divorce them
                    before you have touched them

                    Salam

                    Can there be a "divorce" without marriage?

                    Peace

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                    • D Offline
                      D Offline
                      drfazl
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #108

                      Salam

                      Can there be a "divorce" without marriage?

                      Peace

                      Salam,

                      Valid. Marriage is generally a community affair, which would be considered by its members as sex having consummated. So from the point of its view it is marriage and then divorce. Allah speaks from the community's point of view. And for the believers who shall discern and abide by His decree, to them he says, "There shall not be the mandatory waiting period of three months."

                      salam

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                      • M Offline
                        M Offline
                        muslims
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #109

                        So from the point of its view it is marriage and then divorce.

                        Salam

                        That's it, that's all I need to know.

                        It is so since the only relevant issue for determination of marriage is can there be a "divorce" without marriage.

                        and ... the facts from the Qur'an inferred that marriage can occur without sex.

                        Therefore, sex is not the "causation" of marriage.

                        Therefore, sex is not marriage.

                        Peace

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                        • D Offline
                          D Offline
                          drfazl
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #110

                          Salam

                          Therefore, marriage is not sex.

                          Peace

                          Salam

                          Sure! Marriage is not sex essentially. It is so to say as, 'last but not the least' and of the bottom most importance, not to be mentioned at all.

                          Peace

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                          • H Offline
                            H Offline
                            huruf
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #111

                            Muslims, you keep confusing what people -now or then, when the profet was alive- do, think or say with what God commands and enjoins. People do the things you say and God talks about the things that people do, but what people do is not necessarily what God commands, but if the do certain things, then God knows they do them and talks consequently, but God does say nowhere marriage is one thing, sexbetween woman and man is something else and they are separate things. If people separate them in deed that is what is called zani and zaniya, and they are assimilated to associators, because they erect their law instead of the law of God.

                            Salaam

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                            • M Offline
                              M Offline
                              muslims
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #112

                              Muslims, you keep confusing what people -now or then, when the profet was alive- do, think or say with what God commands and enjoins. People do the things you say and God talks about the things that people do, but what people do is not necessarily what God commands, but if the do certain things, then God knows they do them and talks consequently, but God does say nowhere marriage is one thing, sexbetween woman and man is something else and they are separate things. If people separate them in deed that is what is called zani and zaniya, and they are assimilated to associators, because they erect their law instead of the law of God.

                              Salam

                              I hope you can back up your conclusion with words from the Qur'an and appealing to solid evidence and rationality, rather than making decisions according to what might be pleasing to imagine or say; They follow not except assumption, and indeed, assumption avails not against the truth at all (532

                              I have proved with various ayat from the Qur'an and proper logical structure. Poor reasoning will contradict but good reasoning cannot contradict with one another. I may be confused, it is normal since we are all human beings and learning from each others. However, at least I'm confused with solid authority from the Qur'an and proper logical structure.

                              Peace.

                              p/s The issue is not about the element of "sex is separated from marriage", but whether "sex is marriage". It is not the same, and there are differences between these two issues.

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                              • H Offline
                                H Offline
                                huruf
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #113

                                Separation of sex and marriage in the thoughts of the "believers" is the ultimate hypocrisy, falsehood before God. Thereby males obtain "deniability". Since they did not intend to be serious about it, nobody can claim anything and in male dominated societies, it tantamounts to making women their toy by sheer violence of social damning.

                                What? God says in 4.1 to reverence the wombs. If you separate marriage and sex, what? you are no required to reverence the wombs? How stupid can a human being be?

                                And that is what is coming to the muslims societies on the whole, they are paying their oblivion of what is sacred. Males, seem to be able to get away with anything any time, but that is ok because marriage is something, sex is something else, and women devide between being toys for adults and surrogate keepers of morality for males. That departement fall on women, they (the nmales) need not do anything at all about it. They have toys on one side, keepers of their social standing on the other, damn the wombs and the reverence that is due to them.

                                That is the society you get when you separate sex from marriage, and in that sense I really do not think that muslim societies are morally better now than any time before, quite the opposite. Life was harder, materially in the past and men, physically did have to strain themselves more. They may have allowed themselves poligamy and concubines and other perquisites, but at least they did not deny their relationships, not to the same extent. Today they want all they had, on top of all modern conveniences and freedom of physical effort and western dress and mores, and on top of that yet, also deniability, freedom of dress for themselves but slavery of dress for the women, and the control of the bodies of women erecting themselves as arbiters of abortion when in fact they are claiming the right to abort universally themselves and throw all the onus on women because marriage, you know, is not sex, it is something else, and also claim the right to sexual harassment of women and on top of it to be respectable members of society and also believers. What, is that going to confuse God?

                                God knows perfectly what each one does and when He decides to punish whether on this life or on the next, all the witty playing with words will not help. Go and convince God then that marriage is not sex or sex is not marriage. What a good laugh He must be having! astaghfirullah.

                                Salaam

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                                • M Offline
                                  M Offline
                                  muslims
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #114

                                  That is the society you get when you separate sex from marriage

                                  Salam

                                  p/s The issue is not about the element of "sex is separated from marriage", but whether "sex is marriage". It is not the same, and there are differences between these two issues.

                                  Peace.

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                                  • H Offline
                                    H Offline
                                    huruf
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #115

                                    Of course you are making sex and marriage two separate things. And in logical expression they have a biunivocal correspondence. You can call what I say whatever, but I really laugh at it, because you are throwing all the balls off the court. That way you can keep discussing me till the ned fo the world. I will not last that long. I think I have made clear what I get from Qur'an, if there is nothing new, I see not need to repeat myself ad nauseam.

                                    Salaam

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                                    • M Offline
                                      M Offline
                                      muslims
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #116

                                      Of course you are making sex and marriage two separate things.

                                      Salam

                                      Nope... can you please quote where did I say sex is separated from marriage?

                                      I am saying "sex is not a marriage", since you are saying "sex is marriage, and marriage is sex".

                                      YES, MARRIAGE IS SEX AND SEX IS MARRIAGE.

                                      Here is the difference.

                                      http//s14.postimg.org/nttgse8e9/sexissues.png

                                      Comparison with my previous graph (refer here)

                                      http//s23.postimg.org/6v0clr24r/marriage.png

                                      Can you see that the element of "sex" is inside "marriage"?

                                      I'm not separating sex with marriage, I'm saying "sex is not marriage".

                                      Peace.

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                                      • I Offline
                                        I Offline
                                        illykitty
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #117

                                        I am honestly lost in the last few pages of conversations. confused

                                        If sex is only allowed in marriage, can marriage be between two people of the same gender? Whenever I read the Quran, I only see it talking about men and women, not men and men or women and women. Why? Is it an already established fact that marriage is only between men and women? Or does it only apply to that case?

                                        Sorry I am full of questions and no answers.

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                                        • M Offline
                                          M Offline
                                          muslims
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #118

                                          If sex is only allowed in marriage, can marriage be between two people of the same gender?

                                          Salam

                                          (REFER HERE and HERE for full reasons)

                                          GENERAL RULE The prohibition of homosexuality is very clear and detailed in the Qur'an

                                          Allah has permitted "marriage" and has forbidden everything else. (refer here and here)

                                          Therefore, it is prohibited since there is no such things as "same-sex-marriage" in the Qur'an.

                                          And those who guard their private parts
                                          Except from their wives <- is referring to marriage
                                          or those their right hands possess
                                          for indeed, they are not to be blamed
                                          But whoever seeks beyond that
                                          then they are the transgressors
                                          (7029-31)

                                          The word "wives" is an inference for the "institution of marriage", and the word "Except" is the "exclusion principle"; ie. which excludes all acts other than "marriages" or "those their right hands possess" as illegal; transgressions, an act that goes against the Qur'an and Islam.

                                          This is only my personal opinion from the words in the Qur'an.

                                          Peace peace

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