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  4. Why so much tension on this forum?

Why so much tension on this forum?

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  • B Offline
    B Offline
    Birdy
    wrote on last edited by
    #7

    Peace with you all sun

    Thanks Zuluf for the statement, that's wonderful ) You took the words from my mouth

    According to the statments of you all, this is a good example from the Quran
    Surah 14 24-26
    "Have you not considered how Allah presents an example, a good word like a good tree, whose root is firmly fixed and its branches in the sky?
    It produces its fruit all the time, by permission of its Lord. And Allah presents examples for the people that perhaps they will be reminded.
    And the example of a bad word is like a bad tree, uprooted from the surface of the earth, not having any stability."
    God teaches us through Quran how to use language and have nice behavior. We may discuss, and we have to, but by mutual esteem and respect.

    Let's have peace people group, we have only this one life on the earth, why to make it so complicated and hard while God gave us and give us continuously everything we need for our contentment ...... sun sun
    God's mercy is infinite. Praise to God the Mercifully.

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    • E Offline
      E Offline
      es
      wrote on last edited by
      #8

      Forget this! Last day of the year - let's dance! yay yay yay yay

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      • T Offline
        T Offline
        The_Chimp
        wrote on last edited by
        #9

        Peace Zulf,

        I agree with you completely and feel I could have avoided engaging in useless debates.

        God bless you

        Would it not have been more "truthful" to say avoided being needlessly nasty?

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        • G Offline
          G Offline
          good_logic
          wrote on last edited by
          #10

          Peace Zulf,all.
          mY earlier post fits here better

          Some arguments are futile,especially when they become a tennis match of throwing faults/insults at each other.Why?

          Because it is all irrelevant, Remember FREEDOM OF CHOICE guys.

          We are absolutely free to believe or disbelieve in God. It is God's will that we will do freely, seeQoran 1829, 2557, 7319, 7437, 7629 God told us in the Qoran that He knows the future and He knows what everyone of us will do, what they will believe, how they behave and what they commit in this life, because He is God who knows the past, present and future.
          God fully knows what kind of decision each one of us is destined to make; He knows which of us are going to Heaven and which are going to Hell. Even before we were born into this world, God knew which souls are good and which souls are evil.

          However, we are fully free to choose, either God or someone else. Because of this freedom we are responsible for our decision on the day of Judgment. We cannot blame our parents, friends, scholars,or GOD even though He knows the outcome or anyone. We can only blame ourselves.

          So argue by what it is best.None of us can change/guide the other. Only GOD can do that.

          Because of this kind of freedom God never forces His religion on any body,

          Had your Lord willed, all the people on earth would have believed. Do you want to force the people to become believers?
          If God was to force people to believe or disbelieve he would not have asked them about their choices and He would never have punished some and rewarded others. God is Most Merciful.

          The only benefit here is to learn from each other, take what is best and respect each other as per Qoran.

          Discus the topics not each other.
          Sorry for this off topic.

          God bless.

          Peace.
          Modify message

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          • D Offline
            D Offline
            diamantinehoneybunch
            wrote on last edited by
            #11

            Hello buddies!

            Yes, just make this forum look more interesting!

            It's simple! Go to off-topic section and just write in old off-topic threads that are either funny or interesting D ;D

            I am also bored of engaging in debates that actually bring me nowhere.

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            • H Offline
              H Offline
              hawk99
              wrote on last edited by
              #12

              Peace All,

              While I agree with good logic, es and Zulf I must admit that we humans feed on tension, which is not necessarily
              a bad thing. If one would notice, the debates that get the most replies are the ones that piss people off,
              controversial issues, sectarianism and correct understanding vs incorrect understanding of Quran to name a few.
              Topics that do not have various points of view fizzle quickly like "I want to give my point of view about salat but
              please no contrary rebuttles please" are gone in no time.

              The problem as I see it is the lack of humility, and what is the opposite of humility?.....arrogance or the satanic
              influence in us. We must know that someone else can be correct! Some folks here at free minds never concede that
              someone else is right, that is when the replies or relationships spiral downward which brings us to this thread.

              You shall not walk proudly on earth ?you cannot bore through the earth, nor can you be as
              tall as the mountains.

              God bless

              peace

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              • H Offline
                H Offline
                hawk99
                wrote on last edited by
                #13

                Peace All,

                You shall invite to the path of your Lord with wisdom and kind enlightenment, and debate with
                them in the best possible manner. Your Lord knows best who has strayed from His path, and He knows best
                who are the guided ones.

                Even if we think that we hold the absolute truth, others should not be expected to share our views unconditionally.
                The dogmatic approach is rarely successful.

                Humility is the antithesis of arrogance and is the only true wisdom by which we prepare our minds for all the
                possible changes in life. The humble person realizes that whatever he has comes from God, and is thankful
                for it. If you have been blessed with understanding, it is a gift from God and we do not receive our gifts
                simultaneously. A manifestation of humility is gratitude. Absence of gratitude is a mark of an ignorant,
                narrow minded, arrogant attitude. Only humility paves the way for us to appreciate what God has
                done and that we have received blessings from God that others may have not have privilege to at the moment.
                And where there is appreciation there is courtesy. When humility is lost arrogance and ingratitude can
                take hold of us and instead of communion with others we create distance and tension no matter their faith
                or way of life.

                Kind words and compassion are better than a charity that is followed by insult. GOD is Rich, Clement.

                God bless

                peace

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                • H Offline
                  H Offline
                  hawk99
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #14

                  Peace,

                  Another reason for the tension in debate is that the arrogance of some creates a "fighting" atmosphere
                  which is unpleasant to some, energizing to others while boring many because such exchanges go
                  nowhere and are not productive, but the arrogant insist on "winning" by demeaning their counterparts in a
                  non-productive debate just to serve their egos.

                  Sahih International 2/170 And when it is said to them, "Follow what Allah has revealed," they say, "Rather,
                  we will follow that which we found our fathers doing." Even though their fathers understood nothing, nor were
                  they guided?

                  God bless

                  peace

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                  • S Offline
                    S Offline
                    supportpeacenotwar
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #15

                    I don't really use this forum anymore but I wholeheartedly agree with most of hawk99's comments. I didn't agree much with another person on this thread but I am no longer interested in debate so I will talk about this issue generally. In terms of the general issue of responding to things - it depends on the context. I have been talking in the past with some Neo-Pagans who actually hold some Islamic values and one was responding to the 'haters' as they are called to her online content. It made perfect sense for her to handle the matter in that way and explain the things she needed to. The reason it upset her the way this person was behaving and the way she dealt with it has a back story that I knew about but others might not have. It wasn't her simply 'responding and reacting' to stuff. It was an issue of justice, an issue of right and wrong and an issue of morality. She has been good to some of those people in the past as well and they were just out of order. She was right to do what she did and some could say she was 'reacting'. We have to be conscious of whether or not the observer of the action is actually making a fair appraisal of the events of the person they are saying is responding or reacting for example. God is the best Judge of course. Our attitudes, intents and innermost thoughts count.

                    The point about not being dogmatic that hawk99 mentioned is true. When I talk with those who are not dogmatic because of the way they practice spirituality, the discussions are better and more constructive. Dogmatic and rigid people are in all walks of life though whether theist, atheist, agnostic, spiritual or not.

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                    • M Offline
                      M Offline
                      Man_of_Faith
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #16

                      Peace supportpeacenotwar,

                      Nice to see you write again sister. Shame we do not see more of you here.

                      God bless you

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                      • Z Offline
                        Z Offline
                        Zulf
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #17

                        We have to be conscious of whether or not the observer of the action is actually making a fair appraisal of the events of the person they are saying is responding or reacting for example. God is the best Judge of course. Our attitudes, intents and innermost thoughts count.

                        Absolutely.
                        It is so very easy to misunderstand someone else. We do it all the time. Our own inner world, our own glasses, our experiences, make us see things in our very own way... and it is not easy at all to be totally objective. It's a good thing to practice not to judge others. It is wise to conclude that we might not understand the situation at hand as much as we think, and therefore our judgment will not be very accurate with reality.

                        Also, people can have hundred and one reasons for reacting the way they do. Good types of reactions are the ones which result in some sort of overall improved outcome, whether it is someone realizing something beneficial, or something important being pointed out for the sake of e.g. justice. The most dangerous reactions are the auto-pilot ones... the one's we engage in by pure habit and internal conditioning, where reason has no place, and we might even do it when knowing the reaction is detrimental to us and the surrounding.

                        Peace
                        )

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                        • H Offline
                          H Offline
                          hawk99
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #18

                          Peace Family and welcome back supportpeacenotwar,

                          Ignorant which is the opposite of 1. literate. 2. learned.

                          Synonyms of ignorant

                          Ignorance is a major contributor to hostile discussion or debate rather it be one or both parties at fault.
                          All it takes is one side that has no clue and does not recognize the fact that they suffer from a lack
                          of knowledge about a certain subject along with the inability to draw a positive understanding due to prejudice.

                          Here are some of the tactics used by the ignorant.

                          Ignorant Name calling

                          Ignorant Try to shame someone to accept one's position.

                          Ignorant Straying from the subject in an attempt to appear well rounded

                          Ignorant Saying "You people" nope will not get a positive response.

                          Ignorant "You are intellectually inferior to me" therefore you must listen to me!

                          Ignorant "My religion/deen is better than yours"

                          Ignorant Not knowing the meaning of concepts and words in a discussion but ignorant of that fact.

                          You shall invite to the path of your Lord with wisdom and kind enlightenment, and debate with
                          them in the best possible manner. Your Lord knows best who has strayed from His path, and He knows best
                          who are the guided ones.

                          God bless

                          peace

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                          • Z Offline
                            Z Offline
                            Zulf
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #19

                            You shall invite to the path of your Lord with wisdom and kind enlightenment, and debate with
                            them in the best possible manner. Your Lord knows best who has strayed from His path, and He knows best
                            who are the guided ones.

                            These are such wonderful words from the quran... and I hope the translation is sound and accurate.
                            We are, as far as I see it, invited to engage in communication with others in a manner which characterized by

                            • humility
                            • fore thought
                            • compassion and understanding
                            • wisdom
                            • selflessness

                            By doing it like this, you will be cool headed enough to sense when it is time to stop debating and at what level to put the talk. Debating while serving one's own ego will not bring any real positive outcome. To achieve peace outside, we need to start with peace inside first.

                            D

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                            • T Offline
                              T Offline
                              The_Chimp
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #20

                              Peace Family and welcome back supportpeacenotwar,

                              Ignorant which is the opposite of 1. literate. 2. learned.

                              Synonyms of ignorant

                              Ignorance is a major contributor to hostile discussion or debate rather it be one or both parties at fault.
                              All it takes is one side that has no clue and does not recognize the fact that they suffer from a lack
                              of knowledge about a certain subject along with the inability to draw a positive understanding due to prejudice.

                              Here are some of the tactics used by the ignorant.

                              Ignorant Name calling

                              Ignorant Try to shame someone to accept one's position.

                              Ignorant Straying from the subject in an attempt to appear well rounded

                              Ignorant Saying "You people" nope will not get a positive response.

                              Ignorant "You are intellectually inferior to me" therefore you must listen to me!

                              Ignorant "My religion/deen is better than yours"

                              Ignorant Not knowing the meaning of concepts and words in a discussion but ignorant of that fact.

                              You shall invite to the path of your Lord with wisdom and kind enlightenment, and debate with
                              them in the best possible manner. Your Lord knows best who has strayed from His path, and He knows best
                              who are the guided ones.

                              God bless

                              peace

                              Ignorant "You are intellectually inferior to me" therefore you must listen to me!

                              Nah! What I say is . . . "I am intellectually superior than you" hmm

                              Not guilty of others.

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                              • H Offline
                                H Offline
                                hawk99
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #21

                                These are such wonderful words from the quran... and I hope the translation is sound and accurate.
                                We are, as far as I see it, invited to engage in communication with others in a manner which characterized by

                                • humility
                                • fore thought
                                • compassion and understanding
                                • wisdom
                                • selflessness

                                By doing it like this, you will be cool headed enough to sense when it is time to stop debating and at what level to put the talk. Debating while serving one's own ego will not bring any real positive outcome. To achieve peace outside, we need to start with peace inside first.

                                Peace,

                                And we must keep in mind that discussions are reciprocal and both sides should intend to learn and to be enlightened.
                                Bringing the best out of each other should be the intended goal, because getting to heaven is what's it all about.

                                I would like to add to the list.

                                • humility
                                • fore thought
                                • compassion and understanding
                                • wisdom
                                • selflessness
                                • helpfulness

                                Nah! What I say is . . . "I am intellectually superior than you" hmm

                                Not guilty of others.

                                Peace The_Chimp,

                                Be careful

                                He said, "What prevented you from prostrating when I ordered you?" He said, "I am better
                                than he; You created me from fire, and created him from mud."

                                He said, "Therefore, you must go down, for you are not to be arrogant here. Get out; you are debased."

                                I understand how offensive these ayats can be taken when directed at someone, however, learning how to avoid
                                hell is far more important than our egos.

                                God bless

                                peace

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                                • H Offline
                                  H Offline
                                  hawk99
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #22

                                  Peace,

                                  Stubborness
                                  http//i2.wp.com/personalityspirituality.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/stubbornness-hand-200.jpg?resize=
                                  200%2C300S

                                  syn ob?du?rate

                                  stubbornly refusing to change one's opinion or course of action.

                                  synonyms stubborn, obstinate, intransigent, inflexible, unyielding, unbending, pigheaded, bullheaded, mulish, stiff-necked;

                                  People with a strong fear of change are considered to be Stubborn. While we all have this tendency
                                  we must guard against stubbornness becoming a dominant pattern, especially in a forum were we
                                  purport that we participate to learn.

                                  God bless

                                  peace

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