How to overcome the sin of lust/temptation
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Peace everyone,
In my view, Hamza Yusuf's book is the best book ever written about the topic/subject of lust. Because it identifies the root cause of lust. I would like to share some paragraphs from the book "Climbing Mount Purgatorio" with you. But before I share some paragraphs from this book, I'd like to mention that Hamza Yusuf has made at least one lecture with the topic/subject of lust. And for those of you who would like to watch a video with his lecture (instead of reading his book), I recommend watching his lecture. You can send me a PM and I will send you a link to a video with his lecture. Anyway, let me share some paragraphs from his book with you.
Some paragraphs from page 7-10 in the book
This is the inevitable state of the aesthete who lives for pleasure. He seeks pleasure to remedy his boredom, yet the very thing he seeks as a remedy becomes a source of his spiritual ailment once again.
Consciously or not, the hot sins of gula, luxuria, and avaritia are rooted in attempts to address one?s spiritual vacuum. Each begins with the pursuit of real goods, but not correctly as the means to real happiness that comes from an integrated ethical life rooted in virtue and responsibility. Rather, they are an end in themselves, the pursuit of pleasure for pleasure?s sake. Eating not to live, but living to eat; loving not to give, but lusting to take; accumulating wealth not to support, but to create a false sense of security. In short, they are sins driven by emptiness within, mere distractions to avoid confronting a lack of knowledge about life?s purpose and relevance.
Ibn Hazm (d. 1064), the great Spanish ethicist and theologian of Muslim Andalusia, believed that at the core of the human being was dread, that every action that motivated man was an attempt to ward off an underlying anxiety (tard hamm) ?Thus the seeker of wealth in fact seeks to repel through it the anxiety of poverty; the seeker of fame is primarily concerned to repel the anxiety of subordination or subservience; the seeker of pleasure simply wishes to repel the anxiety of missing its enjoyment.? Eight centuries later, we hear an echo in Kierkegaard?s observation that the seeker of pleasure is attempting to repel boredom, an idea consonant with Ibn Hazm?s notion of repelling anxiety because boredom?s real threat is that in a state of ennui, we are facing a terrifying confrontation with our mortality and irrelevance.
Kierkegaard rightly and insightfully reminds us that to seek pleasure and avoid pain is a quality we share with all sentient creatures. It is not a choice in reality to seek pleasure but rather a capitulation of choice. ?Choosing? the hedonistic life of an aesthete is not a choice, but an abstention of choice. This is profoundly consistent with Islam?s doctrine of freewill, a doctrine embedded in the Arabic language itself. ?To choose? in Arabic is ?akhtaara,? and ?choice? is ?ikhtiyaar.? The tri-radical source of the word is ?khayr,? which means ?good.? The verbal form ?ikhtaara? literally means ?to choose good for oneself.? Hence, from this perspective, choice is the act of choosing what is good.
Sayyid Naquib al-Attas, the contemporary Malay philosopher, persuasively connects the notion of choice to the idea of freedom
The choice that is meant in ikhtiyaar is the choice of what is good, better, or best between the two alternatives. This point is most important as it is aligned to the philosophical question of freedom. A choice of what is bad of two alternatives is therefore not a choice that can be called ikhtiyaar; in fact it is not a choice, rather it is an act of injustice done to oneself. Freedom is to act as one?s real and true nature demands?that is one?s haqq and one?s fitrah demands?and so only the exercise of that choice which is of what is good can properly be called a ?free choice.? A choice for the better is therefore an act of freedom, and it is also an act of justice done to oneself. It presupposes a knowledge of good and evil, of virtues and vices; whereas a choice for the worse is not a choice as it is grounded upon ignorance urged on by the instigation of the soul that inclines toward the blameworthy aspects of the animal powers; it is then also not an exercise of freedom because freedom means precisely being free of domination by the powers of the soul that incites to evil.
This enslavement to the inciting soul (nafs al-ammaarah) is entirely ignored in our public discussions about freedom. Moral freedom, the freedom to act prudently and virtuously, is dismissed in any discussion of freedom in the modern context of political and circumstantial freedom. Destructive moral dissolution, which was once rightly termed licentiousness, is now considered a type of freedom. According to the Qur?an, these destructive tendencies are a result of the dominance of the commanding self (nafs al-ammaarah), infantile and domineering, in its unrestrained state.
That ?unrestrained? submission to one?s appetites was seen by the 20th century American philosopher, Mortimer Adler, as a reversion to childlike behavior
To give vent to all the promptings of desire, without regard to the demands of society or reality is to revert to infancy?a state characterized, according to Freud, by ?the irreconcilability of its wishes with reality.? Because children ?live at the beck and call of appetite, and it is in them that the desire for what is pleasant is strongest,? Aristotle thinks it fitting that we should speak of self-indulgence when it occurs in an adult as a ?childish fault.?
Similarly, the 14th century Egyptian poet, Imam al-Busiri, in his section on the caprices of the soul, cautions against letting desire take charge of one?s self
Do not attempt to break its appetites through wanton indulgence
Notice how food only strengthens the glutton?s cravingThe self is like an infant ? if you leave it, it will grow up loving to suckle,
But if you wean it, soon it will lose its desire for the breast.Divert the self?s desires and avoid empowering it ?
Whenever desire takes charge, it either destroys or defiles.Shepherd over it as it grazes freely in the field of actions,
But should it find the pasturage sweet, restrain its casual roaming.How often it has found some deadly pleasure delightful
Not knowing that poison lies hidden in cream!Be on guard against its traps of hunger and satiety ?
An empty stomach can be worse than a full one.The wantonness and self-centered nature of the aesthete prevents him from any mature relationships; others are merely toys in his pursuit of infantile self-gratification and he is quite literally a ?playboy.? Kierkegaard wisely identified the aesthete as being on a continuum of pleasure -- from the crude plebian pleasures of the brutish class to the rarified genteel pursuits of the elite. In other words, whether it is Oprah or opera, the sundry indulgences of humanity find the matrix of their pursuits in the same loci?the center of the self and its desires.
Kierkegaard believed that each of us is confronted with a choice?an ?Either/Or? choice. It is either to renounce our freewill and to choose not to choose in our pursuit of pleasure, or to embrace our true self and pursue not pleasure but the ethical life of virtue, which is rooted in commitment to others. He wrote
What, then, is it that I separate in my Either/Or? Is it good and evil? No, I only want to bring you to the point where this choice truly has meaning for you. It is on this that everything turns. As soon as a person can be brought to stand at the crossroads in such a way that there is no way out for him except to choose, he will choose the right thing? Consequently, either a person has to live esthetically or he has to live ethically.
Profoundly important to this challenge is the understanding that in choosing the ethical life, one does not renounce pleasure. It simply becomes meaningful in ways unimaginable to the aesthete. Kierkegaard writes, ?I am no ethical rigorist, enthusiastic about a formal, abstract freedom. If only the choice is posited, all the esthetic returns, and you will see that only thereby does existence become beautiful and that this is the only way a person can save his soul and win the whole world, can use the world without misusing it.? The pleasure monger can only misuse the world because he takes as means other people who should be seen as ends unto themselves. He exploits them for his pleasure or participates in their exploitation by feeding the machine that is exploiting them. The ethical person, on the other hand, is transparent to himself and hence to others. Kierkegaard states, ?The person who lives ethically has seen himself, knows himself, penetrates his whole concretion with his consciousness, does not allow vague thoughts to rustle around inside him or let tempting possibilities distract him with their juggling; he is not like a magic picture that shifts from one thing to another, all depending on how one shifts and turns it.?He can now develop in his life ?the personal, the civic, the religious virtues, and his life advances through his continually translating himself from one stage to another.
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Peace Taro Hiroshi, good research on your part, Allah sums it up in Quran
by guiding believers to do what is best. The Quran does not say lust is bad
but that inappropriate lust is bad. I think if men asked this question with
women as the "lusters" (is that even a word) the answer would come swiftly
and clearly.peace
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@ Man, okay. None taken.
But please do not take this to offense when I say this. I feel a certain way towards you.
I cannot be certain whether you are just a troll (spreading confusion/controversial ideas) or confused/misinformed.
At first I leaned strongly to the first of the two, now I am leaning towards the latter. That perhaps your intentions are truly good, but your reasoning and sources are flawed. Although, I do not think that intentions alone are sufficient.Let me borrow for this time only a technique from Taro and cite something.
I once heard
"Careless effort can be harmful"Have you considered whether it might be you who are misinformed? I would cease my arrogance if I were you.
I am definitely not a troll. I am here to help people.
Be safe
Amenuel -
I'm glad that you see him that way now. I think Hiroshi is a beautiful soul, and I think that he is among of good men who are very rare these days.
Btw, I like your current avatar @ HP_TECH! Nice quote and rightly put, imo.
Peace.
I am a good man, JavaLatte. You just cannot perceive this.
Be safe
Amenuel -
What I say makes sense HP_TECH.
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What I say makes sense HP_TECH.
Okay so maybe you are genuine but that doesn't mean you are well informed. In fact most of your central theories are in contradiction to the evidence in the Quran and have indicate that to you in another post. Please do read the verses I linked on the post. I mean well for everyone including you.
I don't think I am misinformed in believing the Quran has all the answers and in upholding truth and dismissing falsehood.
I don't think I am being arrogant by questioning your intentions when you propagate reincarnation, and all these other bizarre theories of yours which have no foundation in the Quran.
If you felt arrogance then it is your reaction towards me pointing you to the Light.PS I don't think JAVA said anything personal about you not being a good man...she mentioned him because he is relevant to the issue as I misjudged his character.
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Okay so maybe you are genuine but that doesn't mean you are well informed. In fact most of your central theories are in contradiction to the evidence in the Quran and have indicate that to you in another post. Please do read the verses I linked on the post. I mean well for everyone including you.
I don't think I am misinformed in believing the Quran has all the answers and in upholding truth and dismissing falsehood.
I don't think I am being arrogant by questioning your intentions when you propagate reincarnation, and all these other bizarre theories of yours which have no foundation in the Quran.
If you felt arrogance then it is your reaction towards me pointing you to the Light.PS I don't think JAVA said anything personal about you not being a good man...she mentioned him because he is relevant to the issue as I misjudged his character.
Hey HP_TECH, why do you think reincarnation is contrary to the Quran? I don't agree with MoF on many crucial things (he is contradicting himself in this above post again! on the subject he knows I talked to him about) but reincarnation is not one of those things (I am still contemplating on it though, but it makes much sense).
Selam. -
Peace mmmm and everyone,
Although I think that the topic/subject of reincarnation is an interesting topic/subject, it's off-topic. No offense intended, but this thread is about the topic/subject of lust, not reincarnation. If you and other members want to discuss the topic/subject of reincarnation, I suggest creating a new thread or discussing it in another thread. Let's keep this thread on topic.
By the way, perhaps you can share your thoughts and views/opinions on the topic/subject of this thread. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts and views/opinions. I'd also be interested to hear the thoughts and views/opinions of other members in FM. I believe that we can all learn from each other. Personally, I've learned new things since I've started this thread.
If anyone knows of any good articles and/or books about the topic/subject of lust, please share them in this thread.
By the way, I'd like to share an article with you all.
Desire, Lust, Chastity, and Love A Deeper Understanding
http//www.lifeissues.net/writers/may/may_56understanding.html
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Peace mmmm and everyone,
Although I think that the topic/subject of reincarnation is an interesting topic/subject, it's off-topic. No offense intended, but this thread is about the topic/subject of lust, not reincarnation. If you and other members want to discuss the topic/subject of reincarnation, I suggest creating a new thread or discussing it in another thread. Let's keep this thread on topic.
By the way, perhaps you can share your thoughts and views/opinions on the topiv/subject of this thread. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts and views/opinions. I'd also be interested to hear the thoughts and views/opinions of other members in FM. I believe that we can all learn from each other. Personally, I've learned new things since I've started this thread.
If anyone knows of any good articles and/or books about the topic/subject of lust, please share them in this thread.
By the way, I'd like to share an article with you all.
Desire, Lust, Chastity, and Love A Deeper Understanding
http//www.lifeissues.net/writers/may/may_56understanding.html
Of course. Sorry.
Well I don't have much to say about this topic, to me it's simple lust itself (same as hunger or thirst) is not evil - the way you satisfy the need is what is importaint, since you can do it the right or the wrong way.
Selam.
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Taro,
Nice quote from Hamza Yusef.
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Peace wasi and everyone,
Thank you for your post.
I want to be pure free from all this sins especially the sin of lust.
And i only take help of Allah to remove this sin from me. If i do anything evil it means that there has really not been any mercy of allah upon me
1253 Indeed, the soul is a persistent enjoiner of evil, except those upon which my Lord has mercy. Indeed, my Lord is Forgiving and Merciful."I salute you for being honest and open about your struggle with the sin (error/mistake/spiritual blunder) of lust. I believe that it takes courage to be open an honest with this problem. I think that the first step to solve a problem is to recognize/accept that we have one. And I think that If someone has a problem and he/she denies that he/she has one, then the problem won't be solved. Therefore, I think that it's important to accept reality, take responsibility for ones actions and do ones best to solve the problem. That being said, I think it's easier to prevent a problem than to solve one. I will share my thoughts and views/opinions on this approach later in this post.
From what I have read in different articles, many muslims (submitters/peacemakers) struggle with the sin (error/mistake/spiritual blunder) of lust. It seems that it's easy for many muslims (submitters/peacemakers) to not steal, not commit adultery and not commit violence against innocent people. In other words, it seems that many muslims (submitters/peacemakers) have a high degree of self-control in regards to these things. But when it comes to lust, it seems that many muslims give in to this feeling/emotion easily and commit sins by doing shameful/lewd deeds/actions which are against the moral values/principles of the Quran. For example, they might watch sexual scenes in Hollywood movies, and/or watch pictures of the opposite sex with little clothes on.
I myself used to struggle with the sin of lust in the past. I used several methods to solve this problem, but none of them worked. I think that the reason why my methods didn't work, was because I treated the symptoms of lust instead of identifying and treating the root cause of lust. There is a quote by Henry David Thoreau which goes like this
"There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking at the root."
Let me explain this further through an example. A man/woman wants to safeguard (protect) himself/herself from shameful/lewd deeds/actions. Thus, he/she decides to stop watching television, stop surfing the internet and stop reading newspapers/magazines. Because he/she thinks that by placing such restrictions on himself/herself, he/she will be safeguarded (protected) from watching movies with sexual scenes and/or watching pictures of the opposite sex with little clothes on (in newspapers/magazines). But I think that by placing such restrictions on himself/herself, he/she is not treating the root cause of lust. Because television, internet (on a computer) and newspapers/magazines appear to have nothing to do with the root cause of lust. These are physical things. But lust seems to be psychological/spiritual (a state of mind). Therefore, it seems that one can only treat lust by using a psychological/spiritual approach.
In the past, I focused on intervention instead of prevention in regards to lust. Instead of preventing "the state of lust" from appearing/happening in the first place, I intervened by trying to control it. I think that it's easier to prevent a problem than to solve one. As a saying goes, "Prevention is better than cure."
As mentioned earlier, I myself used to struggle with the sin of lust in the past. But I no longer struggle with this sin, thanks to the God.
I will reply to the posts of other members who have joined/participated in this thread in due time.
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Peace.
Yes ,we can say that not many are going to commit murder. Not many are going to oppress /bully all the time...Big and clear doing wrong!
However lust, lying, back-biting,jealousy,being nosy,spying on people, spreading rumours...etc can be small things or big things?
Now "intentions" are what matters in those things.
All sins are harmful. If you are a true believer you recognise a sin. You build a defence mechanism called" Remembering GOD" 24/7!!!
That will be your weapon. Once you realise who GOD is, you will automatically feel His presence everywhere. You will know His attributes .i.e His greatness, omnipotence, omnipresence, He is there with you where ever you are...etc.
The second you feel temptation, a bell should ring inside you,a warning that your Lord is there watching you. How can you proceed knowing this? If the urge is too strong and you make the first few steps towards the temptation, seek refuge in your Lord He is still there ready to help.If you still cannot resist and you make more steps towards the temptation... And so on ,then you commit the sin!!!
Well, there is a lot of repentance to be done in this case. Make sure you mean it. Try your Lord and sincerely promise you will do better from now on...He will try you harder this time, you will need a lot of willpower from now on...etc.
Just make sure you do not keep coming back to your sin, you may then reach a situation where there is no return.In simple term, if temptation of any sort tickles your fancy, remember your Lord. If remembering your Lord becomes your habit, the Lord is always there to save you .
GOD bless.
Peace. -
You know what Taro I miscalculated your character a while ago. I see now you seem to be a humble fellow,
for that I apologizeThere's no need to apologize. Because you haven't done anything wrong.
You yourself seem like a humble/good person.
Peace.
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Peace Man of Faith,
Thank you for your post.
Summary is that desire is more or less always a negative thing.
I think that there are both good/right and bad/wrong desires. In my view, all desires are not negative. Also, I believe that there are both natural and artificial desires. I''d like to share two quotes with you.
"The Platonic Socrates defined desire as a "longing to fill an emptiness within us. It may be profound (a desire to know why we exist) or less so, such as the desire to own objects just to fill a void." Rational and religious ethics distinguish between right and wrong desires and affirm that wrong desires may result in damaging and destructive pursuits that can shatter an individual's psychological well-being and severely damage human relationships. Wrong desire is desire for an illusory good; this is pernicious, particularly so in carnal desire."
- William E. May
The first premise implies a distinction of desires into two kinds innate and externally conditioned, or natural and artificial. We naturally desire things like food, drink, sex, sleep, knowledge, friendship and beauty; and we naturally shun things like starvation, loneliness, ignorance and ugliness. We also desire (but not innately or naturally) things like sports cars, political office, flying through the air like Superman, the land of Oz and a Red Sox world championship.... Now there are differences between these two kinds of desires. We do not, for example, for the most part, recognize corresponding states of deprivation for the second, the artificial, desires, as we do for the first. There is no word like "Ozlessness" parallel to "sleeplessness." But more importantly, the natural desires come from within, from our nature, while the artificial ones come from without, from society, advertising or fiction. This second difference is the reason for a third difference the natural desires are found in all of us, but the artificial ones vary from person to person... The existence of the artificial desires does not necessarily mean that the desired objects exist. Some do; some don't. Sports cars do; Oz does not. But the existence of natural desires does, in every discoverable case, mean that the objects desired exist. No one has ever found one case of an innate desire for a nonexistent object.
- Peter Kreeft
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Peace hawk,
Thank you for your post.
Peace Taro Hiroshi, good research on your part, Allah sums it up in Quran
by guiding believers to do what is best. The Quran does not say lust is bad
but that inappropriate lust is bad. I think if men asked this question with
women as the "lusters" (is that even a word) the answer would come swiftly
and clearly.peace
I think you raise some good points here.
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Peace mmmm,
Thank you for your post.
Of course. Sorry.
No need to apologize. And thank you for staying on topic. I appreciate it.
Well I don't have much to say about this topic, to me it's simple lust itself (same as hunger or thirst) is not evil - the way you satisfy the need is what is importaint, since you can do it the right or the wrong way.
Good point.
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Peace As-Salaatayn,
Thank you for your post.
Taro,
Nice quote from Hamza Yusef.
I'm glad to hear you liked it.
By the way, I'm planning to share some quotes in a post in this thread in due time. You and other members in FM might find them interesting and/or insightful.
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Peace good logic,
Thank you for your post. And thank you for sharing your advice.
All sins are harmful. If you are a true believer you recognise a sin. You build a defence mechanism called" Remembering GOD" 24/7!!!
That will be your weapon. Once you realise who GOD is, you will automatically feel His presence everywhere. You will know His attributes .i.e His greatness, omnipotence, omnipresence, He is there with you where ever you are...etc.
I think that building a defense mechanism called "Remembering God 24/7) will help/protect people from doing (engaging in) lewd/shameful deeds/actions. However, I think that both our thoughts and our deeds can give us God-consiousness, not just our thoughts. Making right/good choices everyday, seems to be the key to being chaste/pure. I'd like to share two quotes with you.
Kierkegaard rightly and insightfully reminds us that to seek pleasure and avoid pain is a quality we share with all sentient creatures. It is not a choice in reality to seek pleasure but rather a capitulation of choice. ?Choosing? the hedonistic life of an aesthete is not a choice, but an abstention of choice. This is profoundly consistent with Islam?s doctrine of freewill, a doctrine embedded in the Arabic language itself. ?To choose? in Arabic is ?akhtaara,? and ?choice? is ?ikhtiyaar.? The tri-radical source of the word is ?khayr,? which means ?good.? The verbal form ?ikhtaara? literally means ?to choose good for oneself.? Hence, from this perspective, choice is the act of choosing what is good.
- Hamza Yusuf
The choice that is meant in ikhtiyaar is the choice of what is good, better, or best between the two alternatives. This point is most important as it is aligned to the philosophical question of freedom. A choice of what is bad of two alternatives is therefore not a choice that can be called ikhtiyaar; in fact it is not a choice, rather it is an act of injustice done to oneself. Freedom is to act as one?s real and true nature demands?that is one?s haqq and one?s fitrah demands?and so only the exercise of that choice which is of what is good can properly be called a ?free choice.?
- Sayyid Naquib al-Attas
The second you feel temptation, a bell should ring inside you,a warning that your Lord is there watching you. How can you proceed knowing this? If the urge is too strong and you make the first few steps towards the temptation, seek refuge in your Lord He is still there ready to help. If you still cannot resist and you make more steps towards the temptation... And so on ,then you commit the sin!!!
It seems that you are advocating treating the symptoms of lust instead of treating the root cause. of lust I think that preventing the "state of lust" from happening/appearing in the first place is better than trying to control/manage this mindstate (through intervention) when it has happened/appeared. I recommend this post
Well, there is a lot of repentance to be done in this case. Make sure you mean it. Try your Lord and sincerely promise you will do better from now on...He will try you harder this time, you will need a lot of willpower from now on...etc.
Just make sure you do not keep coming back to your sin, you may then reach a situation where there is no return.I agree with you that someone should repent if he/she has wronged himself/herself. But once again, you seem to advocate treating the symptoms of lust instead of treating the root cause of lust. From my knowledge, the universe is not chaotic or haphazard. From my knowledge, every cause has and effect. And from my knowledge, in order to remove an effect, we must discover the cause. Nothing happens by chance or outside universal laws, in my opinion. In my view, as long as someone doesn't identify the root cause of lust, he/she will keep coming back to his/her sin. Because it seems that those who don't know what causes their sin (error/mistake/spiritual blunder) are bound to repeat it. Let me explain this through an example. If someone exercises in order to lose weight, he/she is not treating the cause of weight gain. But he/she is treating the symptoms of weight gain. The cause of weight gain is eating more calories than you burn each day. The symptoms of weight gain are becoming overweight. By exercising, a man/woman is treating the symptoms of weight gain, not the cause of weight gain. As mentioned earlier, the cause of weight gain is eating more calories than you burn each day. Therefore, the only way to lose weight is to eat less calories than you burn each day. By eating less calories than you burn each day, you'll treat the cause of weight gain. Even if you exercise 5 hours a day, you won't lose weight as long as you eat more calories than you burn each day. Because by exercising 5 hours a day, you are treating the symptoms of weight gain, not the cause of weight gain. There is a study which shows that going to the gym won't help you lose weight, you need to eat less (see this article).
Some people claim that there are both physical diseases and spiritual diseases. And some people claim that spiritual diseases requires spiritual cures, not physical cures. Personally, I believe that the best method to get rid of inappropriate lust, is to treat the root cause of lust. As a saying goes, "If we hope to heal the pain, we must first discover the cause."