Discussion about khula
-
Hello. I really hope you dont mind me making a lot of posts thing is I have so many confusions.
So today I learnt about the concept of khula. I don't understand. This feels a bit...humiliating. I mean a woman has to go to the court and prove to the judge that her husband beats/maltreats her? And IF the judge decides he beats her enough then only she's let go?
And she has to pay back her Mehr? But why? What if she's already spent it? What if it's a huge sum she can't pay back? Then is she stuck forever?
Why would any husband talaaq his wife when he can force her to go through khula thus also getting his money back? Does this exist to scare a girl from asking large sums of Mehr? -
The Qur'an is clear, to the woman like what against her in 2.228, so no right that exercised against her that she in turn cannot exercise for her. Just like with inheritance and with many other things, men have subverted the Qur'an and established injustice. In a very detiled way, by the way.
As to the saduqa (not mahr, mahr is nto in Qur'an as such a name) it would be fair to return it if she divorced for no reason through no fault of him. If he is at fault then no reason to rutur, but at that point I guess hemight go to court if he does not agree that it is his fault, but it would be upon him to sue.
On the other hand this divorce equal for both where you can break justlike that without giving reason,womencan do it now if they put it in the marriage contract atleast in some countries.
Salaam
-
The Qur'an is clear, to the woman like what against her in 2.228, so no right that exercised against her that she in turn cannot exercise for her. Just like with inheritance and with many other things, men have subverted the Qur'an and established injustice. In a very detiled way, by the way.
As to the saduqa (not mahr, mahr is nto in Qur'an as such a name) it would be fair to return it if she divorced for no reason through no fault of him. If he is at fault then no reason to rutur, but at that point I guess hemight go to court if he does not agree that it is his fault, but it would be upon him to sue.
On the other hand this divorce equal for both where you can break justlike that without giving reason,womencan do it now if they put it in the marriage contract atleast in some countries.
Salaam
Hello.
Yes that's what I'm confused about. For a no fault divorce, does the women need to pay back her whole mehr or just any amount of money? The latter sounds more fair as her paying back her mehr seems improbable. -
The Qur'an insists, repeats, never fails to mention the expression "bilma3aruf". I think that is a direct appel to people's conscience and a reminder that finally each of us we do know where we are taking advantage of a situation but if it is not too outrageous so we do it. But if we act on our conscience maybe we will be not so advantageous for us but it will be fairer. so that is whatwe are called to do and that is a truth forever and inall circumstances, because no situation is ever perfect, no law is perfectand alllaws can bemade void simply because people do as if the law did not exist and that is very, very, very common. God'sknows that and we know that. That is why we find so often "bilma3ruf". It is not enough that we can get away with doing this or that or whether it is legal or not articularly in personal questions, where feelings come in strongly, like family questions. Those are always bound to be problematic.
Contrary to other visions of divorce and emotional and sentimental disappointments, the Qur'an does not blame nor harps on guilt or failure, nor sees marriage as jail chain but rather encourages to look forward and have trust that He has enough to give to both of them,and that He hs not run out of gifts for people who kee to "bilma3ruf".
Myself I find aya 4.130 quite expressive of the compassion and benvolence of God onthese counts.
And if the two part ways, God shall enrich each of them out of His abundance for God is indeed infinite, wise,
This outlook for better, this trust that people can improve, that the world and life are wide enough for every person to find her or his way with no contrived constrains, in fact this belief in wide freedom for each person to evolve her or his life is a gift.
We must not be afraid to use it provided we always remember that the sign that rules existence is balance, as God's explains. So we must not be afrid of anything nor of our freedom provided we keep always to "al ma3aruf". We may cheat the laws or the persons,we will not cheat our own conscience and knowledge.
I realise that there is a very strong cunter current to Qura'nic outlook and wisdom inmany so called musim environments. Ther eare also plenty of circles nd persons who pursue a renewal of real qura'nic revelation and lthough things, if you look some places is dismal, there are also people who believe we are not trapped forever and become untrapped.
You must not loose trust. Finally God is really all powerful here and now. He rules. His is the dominion, ours is the struggle and it is Him we must convince not anybody else. And that we will only attain with truth, with our truthful selves.
Excuse the sermon.
Salaam