Funeral rites
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Salaam,
My apologies if I am posting this in the wrong section. My parents are quite aged and are set in their Sunni ways. I am the only Quran follower in the household and man of the house. I was wondering what to do when the time comes? We have a mosque here who does funerals but I dont believe in the prayer of dead etc which Sunnis do. Should I just contact the local funeral houses (USA) and have them buried in a non religious manner. I was thinking about asking my father what his wishes were. However, if he wishes to be buried in a Sunni manner I am not sure how I can carry this out. Has anyone gone through something similar? -
Peace smmirza1.
I do not see any issue in fulfilling your parents will if it does not infringe your relationship with GOD.
GOD asks that we honour our parents and obey them except if they ask us to commit "shirk".Go ahead and ask their wishes and fulfil your obligation.
You can always ask someone else (the same faith as them) you trust to carry out your parents request if you do not wish to get involved with the mosque/tradition?
My opinion of course, according to your information in your post.GOD bless you and your parents.
Peace. -
My apologies if I am posting this in the wrong section. My parents are quite aged and are set in their Sunni ways. I am the only Quran follower in the household and man of the house. I was wondering what to do when the time comes? We have a mosque here who does funerals but I dont believe in the prayer of dead etc which Sunnis do. Should I just contact the local funeral houses (USA) and have them buried in a non religious manner. I was thinking about asking my father what his wishes were. However, if he wishes to be buried in a Sunni manner I am not sure how I can carry this out. Has anyone gone through something similar?
What's so blasphemous of the sunni manner? other than the second takbir of praising prophet Ibrahim and Muhammed and their descendants? the funeral prayers are not said aloud so you could say whatever you wished, the other aspects of it seem fine.
Why not ask them how they want to go about it? AFAIK burial grounds can be costly but maybe it depends on where and who it's organised by.
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Salaam,
I do not find the rituals of doing ghusl, wrapping body in white cloth, funeral prayer, orienting the body in direction of Kaaba and other stuff whixh is practiced in Sunni burial in the Quran. I wish not to dispute about whether these practices are right or wrong. I was asking forum members if it would be wrong to ask Sunni imam to supervise burial process and I will pay for it. Of course I will not partcipate in any of the activities. Or I could arrange for a non religious burial in which they put the body in a coffin and bury it of course my other family members might not be OK/happy with it. If anyone has gone theough such an experience let me know. -
It will be fine to find a service to do the necessary preperations for your parents wishes post death. In fact, if you live in a Western country, this is pretty much a given anyway as Funeral services are standard. How much you physically get involved in those services is between you and the Funeral service provider. While Muslim Funeral services may find it strange that you don't participate in anything, and may even try to change your mind, you have plenty of valid reasons they don't need to know about to not go ahead personally. For example, you may feel too emotional to fully participate.
When my first Wife's father passed away, many people tried to get me involved in a lot of the rituals, but only being two days after he passed, I struggled and barely played along because I was emotionally distraught. I barely touched his shoulders when taking part in Ghusl before breaking down crying. When it came to the funeral prayer, although I stayed with the sons with the body as people entered the Mosque, I found a place in the middle of the congregation out the way where I again broke down crying (the amusing scene of a White guy in the middle of a Bengali funeral prayer crying the most at the dead of an old man). When it came to the actual burial, again people tried to get me to take part by placing dirt into the grave with everyone else, I did one bit and broke down crying again and being an emotional wreck.
I type this out because not everyone can handle that pain, especially if the funeral is so soon after death, as normal for Muslim tradition. He wasn't even my blood father, who is still alive.
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I take it as a cultural practice. Why to make it an issue with your old parents. If they wish so then no harm in fulfilling their wish. Just my thought.
Agree...
And I wanted to add...
Having a non religious children (a.k.a Murtad children) which shall not pray / take care of your funeral properly according to God/Gods commanded, when you die is among the 'fear' the religious elite (ulema, imam, mullah, priest, pastor, rabi etc..) spread to their loyal followers. They even go further by spreading message that the parent will suffer some horrible punishment by God/Gods (in the afterlife) if they have 'murtad' children.
Historically this has happened across all religion, performed by Jewish Rabbi when they face the danger of new religion (Messianic Jew -> Christian), Egyptian Priest when they face the danger of Hellenism, Catholic Priest when they face the danger of Islam/Protestanism/Orthodoxism and so on...
And I will not be so surprised when the same trick will also be performed by "Quranic Imam/Priest" in the future when they face the danger of new ideology/religion/sect which posed a threat to their existence and well being.