Prayer section - to help each other?
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Peace.
I'm wondering if it would be a good idea to have some kind of a prayer section, so those of us that are in difficulty can ask others to pray for them, becuase there are numerous instances in the Quran where other people like prophets nadmessengers are asked to pray to God for someone.
Normally I would ask people in my family to pray with me,and I wouldalso pray for them, but now it appears they havelost allfaith in me, and there's nopoint me goingup to them,I'mlikeastranger in my own home.
Salaam Natu,
I will be facing a real challenge this summer. I will be traveling with the rest of the family. It is not a new thing for us Arabs where we would travel in big numbers like caravans! To be together 24/7 with no space for one to breathe! They enjoy the crowd but, unfortunately for me, I don't. It would be very traumatic to me because I really cannot stand others when they are so close to me. I would be under huge pressure trying to put up with their control and demand. I am almost having a nervous breakdown now just by worrying about it. I have been praying to Allah to intervene but I have no clue how!!! Especially because He never did before, regarding this situation. I was thinking, Natu, that maybe you (and others) could pray for me! But if Allah is not listening to me, how then would He listen to you, someone who is not even suffering from that particular problem!? We believe that Allah listens to us and "feels" our pain yet He chooses, most of the time, to leave us alone cry to manage our own lives, which is not easy at all cry Is this some sort of punishment!? Sometimes I think that maybe we have to go through Hell during this life in order to be spared the real Hell in the Hereafter!!!
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Salaam TAJ,
Wow, this sounds like it's a really big deal to you. And I understand what you mean by the other person's prayer not really affecting unless they were in the same situation. I'm not a very social person myself, and am not into crowds that much, but I'm also not affected by them, atleast not close to what you seem to experience.
I have been praying to Allah to intervene but I have no clue how!!!
Perhaps part of the problem is what you think the solution should be. Allah is answering your prayers, the key is, to listen to what HE says. Put your trust in HIM, and don't ask HIM to give you want... but what you need. Remember, when the people were about to go to war... I can only imagine the stress and pressure involved, yet Allah made them calm and focused. That's all you need. Don't keep thinking - "I want to get away!"Be the eye of the storm.
Peace.
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Salaams Zein,
It is getting worse than ever now that my beliefs are "seriously" changing and becoming in less and less harmony with the group! I already feel like an ?alien? when I am among them and it is becoming really hard for me to "act as if"! The pressure is mounting inside my mind trying to think of a way out! Because if I try to distance myself (by being quiet as my only way out!!!), it will make them even more curios and very possibly offended.
I will be putting my life on hold during that summer vacation instead of enjoying it.
But thanks, Zein. I will try to remember your words, maybe they will keep me calm. -
Peace brother Taj.
I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties, all I would like to say is that you're not going through hell, think of it differently, laugh within yourself at the aimless practices and beliefs other hold around you (Their wasting their time! lol ), and remember how successful you've been in realising the truth and having the strength, courage and determination to accept it, what you have done is not something easy, especially with 'religious' muslims around you, celebrate your own success in obtaining the key to enter heaven, the belief in one God. You my friend, are not the weaker of those with you, if God wills he will support you. All you have to do is accept one God and the day of judgement, and work righteousness. Although we cant be successful in workin righteous deeds round the clock just that extra care when thinking of throwing rucbbish on the ground instead of a bin, or smiling back at someone who swears at you, doing that will help you focus on your inner self, and God willing you will reach happiness, without those around you realising it. Have a good holiday, and don't stress, if you have access to the internet where you are going then feel free to chat to us all here, we will be more than happy to talk to you, talk about anything, fish, pizzas, candyfloss, anything,... roll God willing I will pray for you. Thanks for putting your trust in us all and finding us worthy of sharing your feelings with us.
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Peace Natu,
I'm a sister.
I am stressed because too much is expected of me. We, Arabs, have an awful way of life. Living close together and even closer while traveling! And everybody thinks that he/she has the full right to know about what goes inside your mind! And then to judge you and isolate you unless you act in a certain way, dress in a certain color, etc..! It is one form of terrorism, let me tell you! But I am a weak and a coward person, I must admit!
I will have access to the internet and thank you for suggesting such big topics fish, pizza, candyfloss! (candyfloss!?) But I think I need more than just that. I need a miracle roll
And thanks for your prayers. At least I won't feel so lonely knowing that someone is praying for me. -
Salaam Taj,
And then to judge you and isolate you unless you act in a certain way, dress in a certain color, etc..!
If it can ease your concience, this behavior pervades many cultures.
Joe
Salaams Joe,
I can't imagine that it can be as bad as the Arabs. Now I've come to believe that we are the worst of all. Just look at all the destruction and distortion we have brought to Islam. Unbelievable!
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Peace Taj, dear sister of mine,
I hope and pray that you are doing well. I understand now more about your situation, and would like to help you through as much as possible.
I am almost having a nervous breakdown now just by worrying about it.
Like it happens, the lightning is seen before the thunder is heard, perhaps this is God's way to help you through, having been through this kind of mental preparation may actually reduce the effect of what is due to happen, if God wills. I was just wondering, you mentioned that people want to know what is inside your head, and why you keep quiet. Could you please tell us all what exactly they know or what you have told them of your position, so that we could have a think and give a bit of advice. I can't think of a fool-proof solution to your problem with travelling whilst very close to people, but possibly if your travelling by caravan or anything then you could just keep telling someone your feeling too hot, and that way they'll possibly give you a bit more room and they will not be too assertive as to why your quiet, becuase they'll see it as a symptom of your discomfort, possibly, I mean I don't know the exact situation so I can't be sure on this.
Perhaps talking to people in person may be a good way to make it easy for you, do you have a trustworthy friend or anyone that could go with you, that way, you could kind of tell them your position before going, and when you go, the situation might ba a lot easier on you, you'll have someone to talk to, you won't feel so alienated. Although admittedly the difficulties for a woman in a such a position are great, beyond the understanding of someone who is not in the position, perhaps to feel more included in the group of people who are with you may want to engage in some of their practices, those not involving the corruption. For example, I don't know if this is an arab tradition or what, but round here in UK, we have this thing called a 'tasbeeh' (beaded string type thing), with which we count 33 times 'subhanallah', 33 times 'alhamulillah' and 34 time 'allahuakbar' perhaps if they see you doing these things they won't get too suspicious.
Looking at it all in another light, perhaps your anxiety may be being increased becuase of a feeling that you want/need to be in control, and you can't see things changing for you. I would say then that you let yourself go, surely the God who created the arabs, created you, created the crowded transport you'll be traveling in, surely he is able to do something for you without you worrying about it. Personally, when I go through difficulties , I begin to see the world like a matrix (have you seen the film? watch it sis, it might make you think differently), and all of what is happening is not really hapenning, becuase God has made this illusion, everything in it, so we don't need to worry, becuase the real world, the world of the hereafter is going to be real, free from physical and emotional limitations. As far as being alone goes, God is everythwere, he is there in your transport, even there in the cables and microwaves between my computer and yours, and rest assured, you have a little brother praying for you, on another location on the little blue and green ball, like Michael Jackson says... "You... are not... alone..., I... am here... with you..."
So those that are causing you problems and opressing you, a much greater being is watching them and everything they do, sooner or later he will put things right. Perhaps when you pray, just ask God for happiness, rather than going into exact details, that way, whatever happens God knows what you want above all, he will make you feel happy even if you are in the worst position possible. Just keep him in mind. Please accept my humble request that you keep on this thread while you can, so that in expressing your feelings you'll feel better. May peace be upon you sister Taj.
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Salaam Taj,
I can't imagine that it can be as bad as the Arabs. Now I've come to believe that we are the worst of all.
Unfortunately it may be just as bad or even worse. Here in America body image is a huge problem for the young generation and even the older generation. Fashion is as well. Ideal body images here in America are sought out by females AND males alike. Females seek to emulate the 36-24-36, which can be sexy and very good looking but of course the distortion is in the lower half of the body being proportionally thin to the upper body. The upper body is rather normal and of medium bust size for females. It is a caricature of the norm if I can say so. It's not really normal, that is not a normal shape to have anyway. However, the downsides to this ideal is that it is portrayed often and is also often given better review than the average female figure, which in itself is sexy. So what happens is that females who are big busted are willing to get surgery to decrease their bust size and women who are small busted will go and get enhancements. Liposuction is another endeavor for those who cannot get this body proportion with exercise and diet alone. Diet and exercise can degenerate and usually does to borderline eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia.
Males try to live up to the ideal of a muscular and yet thin body image. So they too can develop the same eating disorders as their female counterparts.
Body image does pervade humanity and not my society in particular. wink
In fashion people do get teased, are taunted and ostrasized if they do not look like others. People will resort to suicide and depression, etc.
Joe
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Salaams Natu, Joe and All
I think that my new understanding of the Quran has made me see the world with different eyes. I have been in such trips countless times but I don?t feel I am the person I used to be.
I want to distance myself but how far can I go? In body not possible when travelling together. In mind How? By using worry beads? I don?t like to murmur with Tasbeeh, etc? when I am with others. I don?t think it is appropriate, besides, I hate the sight of those act-as-religious beads!
I think that the only way that Allah would intervene is by splitting our big group into smaller ones so that I would be able to enjoy some freedom, but that won?t happen, I know ( -
I want to distance myself but how far can I go? In body not possible when travelling together. In mind How?
I see your predicament. A solution I can offer, is more long term though. That means, you would need to practice something for a while and then be able to handle situations like that. I can recommend a book for you, I'm not sure how easily accessible they are, for you. Everyday Zen by Charlotte Joko Beck. It's a pretty simple book to read and understand (thats why I like it! wink ). It involves a process of simple meditation. The way it works is, first, you distance yourself physically, even for a few minutes a day, from everything. You will realize quickly that even then, you really can't 'distance yourself' with your mind. But when you eventually do, then you will be able to "quiet your mind" even when you're within a group of people. As I said, it takes time, and it depends on the individual.The analogy for this would be, example, you're driving and stuck in the middle of heavy, dead-stop traffic. It's easy to imagine how frustrating that is. Now Imagine, getting out of the car and going to the sidewalk, and watch everything from that point of view. You'd probably still have some tension, with all the hooting and the cussing going on. Then imagine going to the top of a tall building, and watching this same traffic from way up there. All you see, is this wonderful design of little colors and small movements. With the cool breeze hitting your face... you'd probably have a smile without asking for it. D Now here's the trick, to have the same attitude you have up there... in the same hot car with the traffic and noise. So the result is, you're there, body and mind... but not the same.
Not sure if any of that makes sense... but it's something else if you can manage to do that. Again, that requires constant and long-term practice. Now, if I could do that... I'd be too
Peace )
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The Miracle The Miracle The Miracle has happened
Thank you Allah. I am sorry, God! I didn't imagine that something of this sort could happen but then You just rolled that gift to me from the far end of the world! Thank you God and please forgive me! It just was so dark that I totally forgot about light.Thanks Natu Your prayers worked Thank you Zein and Joe for your true support and advice
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Peace TAJ,
Good for you. D
- And He will provide for him whence he never expected. Anyone who puts his trust in God, then He suffices him. God's commands will be done. God has decreed for everything its fate.
Peace Natu,
If you can and have the time, check out the book. It's a fun read, especially for people who live in 'the western' countries.