Do we have to get married?
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Peace everyone,
You may not want to ever get married (neither did I, because I also didnt want to be married to a stranger my parents thought was nice, and more importantly happened to be from my own race, and related to their family friends, etc, etc), however you never know when you will fall in love with another human being, and find that you want to spend the rest of your life with them, and marriage becomes a real possibility again.
So, never say never. Organised marriage is crap, so keep up your skeptisicm of that practice, dont ever give in to your family's persistence, you shouldnt have to be thrown into a relationship with someone you dont know or dont like, that would definitely displease God. But I wouldnt recommend you rule out marriage out of pure love, one day, it could happen.
Now, to address the first post of this thread, which has kind of been ignored
Salam,
As far as I know, the Quran simply encourages marriage, but does not force it or does it as per the verse that says "...marry away the singles among you..."
If one does not ever get married, would that displease God in any way (I know you all being human won't be able to give me the exact answer, but just wondering).
I honestly dont know about this yet, it does appear to be a given in the Quran. Men and women can create life, but they have to be married to do so, because this becomes a form of making people take on responsibility and live on a straight path. Responsibility is a big theme that continually pops up in the Quran, we have to be responsible for everything we do, because we will be judged in the end, right? So, I'm not sure if not getting married would displease God, as long as you're living right and not sleeping around I think it would be allowed. Marriage means taking on extra responsibility, its not something to be taken lightly.
And neither is love. God guides whom 'He' will...
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This is life and to me as true as it is that there is only one God, it is just that true that there is no such thing as "falling in love". These are all fantasy concepts introudced by hollywood for gulliable people to spend their hard earned money.
I guess I'm just a figment of your imagination then. You may be suffering a form of solipsism.
I lost all faith in humanity, marriage and other such organized BS.
Is Islam ('God alone' as we're debating here, not the form practiced by various sects) 'organised BS' to you too then? Marriage is an important concept that God spends considerable time explaining to muslims, one shouldnt ignore that fact, however much they despise the way marriage is treated in mainstream society.
I had your cynical attitude too once, and I still retain some cynicism in my pysche, but not to love or intimate human relations anymore, a woman changed my life. We're all connected, as much as you'd like to distance yourself from humanity (or relationships), its not possible, you cant control the chain reactions reverberating through us all.
Peace.
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Peace Dove,
I remember when I used to ask and debate vehemently, this very question when I was younger. The reason?... my mum was starting to bug and push me into it. I'd ask people to prove it to me that it's a MUST.
Anyway, a wife and two boys later, alhamduliLLah... The rest is history. There is a lot of BS involved in cultures, ceremonies, and the works. I won't go around telling people it's a MUST or else. But I will say, out of experience, and from quran that it's HIGHLY recommended. That said, take your time... do it right. idea
Peace!
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a woman changed my life.
This kind of thing does happen, hope it does for me!
I was set for a life alone, seriousy, I'd never had any kind of intimate relationship with another woman before and was sorrounded by horrible people, and I'd just given up; was prepared to upset my parents by being single until the day I died, but life leads you to places you cant predict. I'm more of a fan of free will, because we're judged for our choices, but in this case sometimes it feels like kismet, this woman is my other half it seems.
All I can say to people is, live on a straight path, God will guide you, provide for you, and be there for you like noone else. Marriage or no marriage, it doesnt matter, just live your life right.
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I remember when I used to ask and debate vehemently, this very question when I was younger. The reason?... my mum was starting to bug and push me into it. I'd ask people to prove it to me that it's a MUST.
Khi- Salam. With me it was exactly the oppsoite. I wanted 2 get married yrs ago n my parents were the ones who didnt want tht coz they said it was too early. 2 be honest with u im still desperately looking 4 a believing wife i.e. one who follows Quran Alone. GOD Bless!
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Salaams Khizar, All
Khi- Salam. With me it was exactly the oppsoite. I wanted 2 get married yrs ago n my parents were the ones who didnt want tht coz they said it was too early. 2 be honest with u im still desperately looking 4 a believing wife i.e. one who follows Quran Alone. GOD Bless!
A Quran Alone believer maybe hard to find! Look for someone who is clear-minded to begin with! Someone who is free from parents, family & society pressure! So that she can see the Truth with her own eyes and surely then would follow it )
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Peace Dove
If you meet someone you really care about. Marry that person, be responsible for your feeling and dont let any falwed traditions in the way nomatter what people are telling you. I am familiar with the traditions that makes you desise marriage, ofcourse yo don tlike it, its illogical, primitive and removes focus from what its about. And yo shouldnt apply to it, nomatter WHOM tells you that?, thats what it is supposed to be. Being with someone that at any given time would put his/her life on the line for you. That supports you in the things you do. One that gives you a hug and tell you what a wonderfull person on the worst of days. Someone who dont pass judgement on you, but reason with you. Sounds like a freind doesnt it? At some point you might even be so attracted to eachother that you want to mate with eachother. And if that happens. Well...get it sorted out with God first. And to do that, you dont need all those bells and whisltes of a modern day wedding that ruins everybody, for a flaming partys sake. Make it public that your freind is now off the market, so others wont try to take a hit on this wonderfull person, and if youre in the ood. Invite some freinds couple of neighbou8rs, the parents for a dinner.
Why on earth make it anymore than it is. Its is being lovers with Gods permission. And if you chose NOT to have a mate. thats percfecty well your own choice. I just belive personally you feel that way because you havent met "a someone special" yet.
Regards
Noah -
Peace,
Dove wrote
I don't want to get married, but it seems like just to keep my parents "happy", I have to sacrifice my happines, dreams and life. I'd do it without a second thought because my parents have done so much for me and all they expect is to see me get married because in their mind getting married would make my life "happier".
I never understand this. How can the parents be happy if the son/daugther is unhappy?
I don't find difference between parents and children, both are humans, both have the right to live their own lives.