Is this possible

[Sarah]

Peace

Is it possible on the day of judgement to be able to discuss situations with people who wronged me in life and to tell those people how their actions hurt me and affected my life? Like how people who are in court get to discuss it with the person they're suing? I've had so many situations where people stepped all over me, used me and abused me.

I understand God's judgment is just etc. and everyone will get what they deserve. But I also seem to have this psychological need to tell the person how what they did was destructive.

I'm not saying I'm perfect myself but I know I have been wronged many, many times.

[Layth]

Dear Sarah.

I am sorry to hear if your pain. I think all of us standing for a day lasting 50,000 years until everyone gets judged for their actions is quite an emotional trial in itself. Also, those who harmed you may have been harmed by others themself - so you not want to share your pain if you become aware of their own demons...

[good_logic]

Peace Sarah.
Meanwhile, see if you can heal yourself by forgiving those who have done you wrong and ask GOD to forgive them.
Letting them know you are going to forgive them may hurt them more than any other punishment. They may even refrain from hurting others.

Hope you find the strength to clear your mind and your soul of the pain and oppressions that you incurred.
GOD bless you sister.
Peace.

[Sarah]

Dear Sarah.

I am sorry to hear if your pain. I think all of us standing for a day lasting 50,000 years until everyone gets judged for their actions is quite an emotional trial in itself. Also, those who harmed you may have been harmed by others themself - so you not want to share your pain if you become aware of their own demons...

Peace Layth

I have to strongly disagree with you here on your justification of because they're hurt- that makes it all okay. The only exception would be if I hurt them- then I might let it be.

But if they're miserable people because other people bullied or abused them and they take it out on me when I did NOTHING to harm them or at least not on purpose then that's called NARCISSISM. Narcissists are selfish and lack empathy. Even if they're hurt- why take it out on a random person? They could find other ways like everyone else. So in this case I have no sympathy for them making other people's life harder than it already is. That is injustice and in extreme cases oppression. Remember the Qur'an tells us oppression is worse than murder.

And a lot of narcissists are selfish and do not care about anybody but themselves.

And I'll give you an example from my life. I was working a minimum wage job for some time. I worked hard. I even worked overtime. And they did not pay me. I made lots and lots of phone calls. They even made me come into their office to do the application form and everything. And they told me I was going to get paid. They lied to me. They used me. They do not care for other people's welfare or the fact other people need money to pay for rent and food and basically survival. This is heartless, evil behaviour. And yes, on the day of judgment these are the people I want to tell how what they did to me was EVIL and heartless. And I would want to see God bring justice to people like this because they don't change. They haven't changed.

[Sarah]

Peace Sarah.
Meanwhile, see if you can heal yourself by forgiving those who have done you wrong and ask GOD to forgive them.
Letting them know you are going to forgive them may hurt them more than any other punishment. They may even refrain from hurting others.

Hope you find the strength to clear your mind and your soul of the pain and oppressions that you incurred.
GOD bless you sister.
Peace.

Peace good logic,
see my reply to the other user.

With the example I mentioned, these people are pure evil. They have no heart. I would equate this to modern day oppression. God Himself says oppression is worse than murder. I would want to see justice on the day of judgment because I have no justice in this life.

Also, I do not buy into the Christian philosophy of 'love thy enemy'. The Qur'an does NOT teach us this. That's how people become doormats. That's enabling the oppressor to carry on and not just to oppress you but to also oppress anybody else that they can. That's not the right situation to be kind in. An example of an oppressor is Hitler. If you had the strength to fight Hitler, wouldn't you? Or would you be kind to him even though he will kill you probably the next day?

There is a verse in the Qur'an where it says the believers are kind to other believers and harsh to other the disbelievers or mushriks. Something along those lines. I'll try to find the quote. Would you also tell me to be kind to certain disbelievers who are oppressing me? Even the Qur'an says otherwise.

It's enabling the narcissist to carry on being a heartless excuse of a human being. It does not help society at large.

'Allah does not forbid you from being kind and just with those who do not fight you because of religion and do not expel you from your homes. Verily, Allah loves those who act justly.'
These are the type of people we're supposed to be kind to. Notice that oppressors are not included.

Letting them know you are going to forgive them may hurt them more than any other punishment. They may even refrain from hurting others.

This does not work on narcissists. They will deny they ever wronged or oppressed you. They will manipulate and gaslight you to the point where you think you're crazy and they're right. They may even just ignore you like what you think does not matter. They're emotionally abusive.

It may work on a decent person but not on a narcissist. I know because did months and months of personal research on narcissism and I have experienced narcissists.

[good_logic]

Peace Sarah.
Have you taken the matter to court?
I see your case now you specified. as a criminal matter that needs to be reported

GOD bless you.
Peace..

[Sarah]

Peace Sarah.
Have you taken the matter to court?
I see your case now you specified. as a criminal matter that needs to be reported

GOD bless you.
Peace..

I left it again and again because I have so many other problems in my life. I did talk to this organisation called ACAS. months ago.

But even though I hold views on standing up to oppressors. I am scared of them. I'm in a bad financial situation. They have my address and everything. If I were to win against them in court I do not know what they will do to me next.

[Jafar]

With the example I mentioned, these people are pure evil. They have no heart. I would equate this to modern day oppression. God Himself says oppression is worse than murder. I would want to see justice on the day of judgment because I have no justice in this life.

Anything that one do to others he/she actually do it to him/herself.

Also, I do not buy into the Christian philosophy of 'love thy enemy'. The Qur'an does NOT teach us this. That's how people become doormats. That's enabling the oppressor to carry on and not just to oppress you but to also oppress anybody else that they can. That's not the right situation to be kind in. An example of an oppressor is Hitler. If you had the strength to fight Hitler, wouldn't you? Or would you be kind to him even though he will kill you probably the next day?

You can fight oppressor without Hate, the better way is to fight oppressor with love.
"Loving others" is not the reason why people become doormats.
"Hating others" is the reason why people treat others as doormats.

For example with Adolf Hitler case, one can fight the Nazis and it's Narcissistic Ideology not because hating them but due to the love to the people that they oppressed and also due to the love to those who are blinded by supporting the Nazis and also due to the love towards Adolf Hitler as well.

If you fought the Nazis with hate, you will be driven for revenge, and you will then treat the Nazis as doormats when you got the upper hand. A good case study of this is when the Russians finally made an offensive towards Germany, the Russian troops extracted revenge by torturing and raping thousands of Germans women. The Russian troops has then turned to become as bad as The Nazis troops. Their justification of doing as such is "Because the german troops has also raped many Russian women".

And as the events turned out we also now know that Stalin is actually very similar to Adolf Hitler.

When you fought people who hated you with hate, you have turned yourselves to become the exact people that you hate.
When you bullied a bully, you have become a bully yourselves.
Congratulations bravo

[jkhan]

Peace

Is it possible on the day of judgement to be able to discuss situations with people who wronged me in life and to tell those people how their actions hurt me and affected my life? Like how people who are in court get to discuss it with the person they're suing? I've had so many situations where people stepped all over me, used me and abused me.

I understand God's judgment is just etc. and everyone will get what they deserve. But I also seem to have this psychological need to tell the person how what they did was destructive.

I'm not saying I'm perfect myself but I know I have been wronged many, many times.

Peace Sister Sara..

You have brought many a topic in this forum.. In my view this one very genuine and very personal and a common to others as well...
Be brave... Be calm.. Be hopeful... There is always oppressors and oppressed in this world... Not for everyone justice will reach even every community has a court... That's why God does not judge Eveything in this world but every minute to massive matter hereafter.. He will not leave anything...

It seems no one's reply soothed you.. I understand you.. The one who is injured only knows the pain.. Philosophy of alleged Jesus saying it Buddha's teaching of showing mercy to enemy will never work in real life...
Definitely you can't love the one who oppressed you or rather keep on oppressing you.. You may love one who oppressed and not any more oppressor but changed himself to good one.. Such deserve love.. The one who change to ethics even after being an oppressor is same like a good person.. His past is in God's hand.. But who continues to oppress doesn't deserve any mercy other than fight against him if you have capacity unless he stops his oppression ... If no capacity then being oppressed is unfortunate destiny.. That's so common in this world.. White oppress black can be one example..

But, your core point in your topic thread is whether you will be able communicate to those who oppressed you on the day of judgement...like you can teach them a lesson... Lol.. Hoping you are destined in Janna... I guess that's what you meant..
In case you and those who oppressed both in Jahanna you will have a chance to communicate with them.. Even such people are in huge frustration and wanting to stamp them and wishes to give them double punishment... God has decreed Jahanna according to each individual's act in this life.. So your wish will be accomplished for sure..

But as I said earlier if you are destined to Janna ( that I pray for) then your heart will be cleaned and purified from all evil thoughts by God... You won't worry about anyone who is in Jahanna... You don't even give a glass of water to them from the abundance of Janna be it your own loved ones then no need to talk about who oppressed you...

So you don't need to communicate hereafter with those who oppressed you in this world ... You will not be you in Janna.. You only hear peace you only see a great kingdom you only live in indulgence.. You don't have time to revenge of your past life... But you have memories... But you are purified to indulge in the abundance of Janna...

But now you are living the life of test.. It's fair you feel so...
It's not harm revenging when you are harmed OR oppressed while you are innocent... That's so natural to human.. Like we pee when we feel.. Lol..
But we can't be aggressive beyond what they did to us.. Simply Tit for tat.. Eye for eye..
You can forgive a past which happened in your life which affected you to certain extent but if you are out of it now if you wish.. But oppression and living in oppression cannot be tolerated without seeking way out for it at any cost..
Why God say don't kill an innocent unless for just reason.. In everything there is a just reason.. If your reason is just what is not allowed normally becomes allowed.. That's so manifest ...

So dear try your level best to get out of this shackle if you can't tackle this all alone... Keep hope and move forward.. I know easier said than done... But life is like that not same for everyone...
The one losing hope in hard time is weak in heart...

So finally your question.. " is this possible? " No if you are in Janna while they in Jahanna..
Yes.. If both party in Jahanna... Coz both live together ...

[jkhan]

Peace Sister Sara..

You have brought many a topic in this forum.. In my view this one very genuine and very personal and a common to others as well...
Be brave... Be calm.. Be hopeful... There is always oppressors and oppressed in this world... Not for everyone justice will reach even every community has a court... That's why God does not judge Eveything in this world but every minute to massive matter hereafter.. He will not leave anything...

It seems no one's reply soothed you.. I understand you.. The one who is injured only knows the pain.. Philosophy of alleged Jesus saying it Buddha's teaching of showing mercy to enemy will never work in real life...
Definitely you can't love the one who oppressed you or rather keep on oppressing you.. You may love one who oppressed and not any more oppressor but changed himself to good one.. Such deserve love.. The one who change to ethics even after being an oppressor is same like a good person.. His past is in God's hand.. But who continues to oppress doesn't deserve any mercy other than fight against him if you have capacity unless he stops his oppression ... If no capacity then being oppressed is unfortunate destiny.. That's so common in this world.. White oppress black can be one example..

But, your core point in your topic thread is whether you will be able communicate to those who oppressed you on the day of judgement...like you can teach them a lesson... Lol.. Hoping you are destined in Janna... I guess that's what you meant..
In case you and those who oppressed both in Jahanna you will have a chance to communicate with them.. Even such people are in huge frustration and wanting to stamp them and wishes to give them double punishment... God has decreed Jahanna according to each individual's act in this life.. So your wish will be accomplished for sure..

But as I said earlier if you are destined to Janna ( that I pray for) then your heart will be cleaned and purified from all evil thoughts by God... You won't worry about anyone who is in Jahanna... You don't even give a glass of water to them from the abundance of Janna be it your own loved ones then no need to talk about who oppressed you...

So you don't need to communicate hereafter with those who oppressed you in this world ... You will not be you in Janna.. You only hear peace you only see a great kingdom you only live in indulgence.. You don't have time to revenge of your past life... But you have memories... But you are purified to indulge in the abundance of Janna...

But now you are living the life of test.. It's fair you feel so...
It's not harm revenging when you are harmed OR oppressed while you are innocent... That's so natural to human.. Like we pee when we feel.. Lol..
But we can't be aggressive beyond what they did to us.. Simply Tit for tat.. Eye for eye..
You can forgive a past which happened in your life which affected you to certain extent but if you are out of it now if you wish.. But oppression and living in oppression cannot be tolerated without seeking way out for it at any cost..
Why God say don't kill an innocent unless for just reason.. In everything there is a just reason.. If your reason is just what is not allowed normally becomes allowed.. That's so manifest ...

So dear try your level best to get out of this shackle if you can't tackle this all alone... Keep hope and move forward.. I know easier said than done... But life is like that not same for everyone...
The one losing hope in hard time is weak in heart...

So finally your question.. " is this possible? " No if you are in Janna while they in Jahanna..
Yes.. If both party in Jahanna... Coz both live together ...

Or in case if your concern was whether you will be able to communicate while the judgement is taking place before Janna and Jahanna is assigned...

Even at that stage I don't think so you will be able to communicate... That's what I comprehended within Quran..
Coz it the time of judgment people only worry about themselves and not about anyone else... Every individual has a his / her own record withouy leaving anything out of it..
Meanwhile God has promised He questions every individual not as the system of court... It is God's job and we are not there to interrogate others.. We have no authority on that day.. All authority is God's...
What God judges is final.. And He is fair... Anyone such interrogation is only required if we doubt the one who judge.. Isn't it?

So in any way you won't have opportunity to interrogate anyone at the time of judgement... We are only waiting judgement and not we do that part... Even you happen to ask or interrogate them.. They will be same... They won't accept what you claim.. They will only try to defend them.. To the extent even whole earth is Gold they are ready to ransom.. So your integration is nothing even you try..
Why you want to interrogate them about the past while you don't have any power over them on that day ..?

But final judgment is shear justice... Be satisfied with it...

[good_logic]

Peace Sarah.
Some countries like the UK have a good justice system agaibst things like in your case. Do not let it go, they are the ones who should be frightened not you , quote

"But even though I hold views on standing up to oppressors. I am scared of them. I'm in a bad financial situation. They have my address and everything. If I were to win against them in court I do not know what they will do to me next.".
However if you are seeking GOD s justice, the verses you mentioned are talking about justice in this life" stand up for your right".by taking them to court to get your hard earned money that they have stolen from you.
. GOD s justice will follow regardless.
GOD bless you.
Peace.

[Cerberus]

My advice would be to focus on a noble goal in your life, if you have any. These things you're talking about are not hindering you from, say, becoming better, or becoming closer to god. But it is the opposite, these are all opportunities to achieve those goals.
Try not to focus on hardship from the perspective of someone who is being harmed, but instead try to look at it from the perspective of someone being challenged, and through such events you can change for the better, or change for the worst (even in a very small proportion).

Sometimes the subjects of our complaints make no sense. A liar for lying ? An ignorant person for an ignorant deed ? .... Everything is in order and instead what we can do is try to understand them and learn to deal with them. All these are part of life's challenges. We either reform ourselves to succeed in these challenges as we meet them, OR, we fail to reform ourselves and fail the challenges, get stuck, complain, suffer, look for easy way out....etc.

[reel]

My advice would be to focus on a noble goal in your life, if you have any. These things you're talking about are not hindering you from, say, becoming better, or becoming closer to god. But it is the opposite, these are all opportunities to achieve those goals.
Try not to focus on hardship from the perspective of someone who is being harmed, but instead try to look at it from the perspective of someone being challenged, and through such events you can change for the better, or change for the worst (even in a very small proportion).

Sometimes the subjects of our complaints make no sense. A liar for lying ? An ignorant person for an ignorant deed ? .... Everything is in order and instead what we can do is try to understand them and learn to deal with them. All these are part of life's challenges. We either reform ourselves to succeed in these challenges as we meet them, OR, we fail to reform ourselves and fail the challenges, get stuck, complain, suffer, look for easy way out....etc.

I feel for her. The problem is that she was picked to be scapegoat because the narc sensed her to be a good human being with a mind of her own. She was probably gaslighted into believing that she was horrible and anything she does is always wrong. I pray that she ends up in a happy relationship/marriage with an understanding man since her road is gonna be tough ahead. Can't even recommend her therapist. The damage is just not easy to fix.

[good_logic]

However sister Sarah, if you need our help (Remember it is GOD who helps really),please do not hesitate to say.
Either here or by PM.
If there is anything I can do to help you get on your feet and I can, I will GOD willing.
GOD bless you .
Peace.

[Cerberus]

I feel for her. The problem is that she was picked to be scapegoat because the narc sensed her to be a good human being with a mind of her own. She was probably gaslighted into believing that she was horrible and anything she does is always wrong. I pray that she ends up in a happy relationship/marriage with an understanding man since her road is gonna be tough ahead. Can't even recommend her therapist. The damage is just not easy to fix.

Life is way too short to be thinking like this, to be living like a perpetual victim, or to be held back by other people's wrong doings... Also if you believed that you've been damaged tha's when you truly become damaged.

Look at the animal world for instance, being preyed upon, having to constantly run for your life, being in a life and death situation most of the time, having to rely on your senses to survive etc....and yet for every occurence the animal becomes stronger and more prepared, they may end up with scars, but that does not hold them back. The strongest animals, the survivors, have the most scars too. These are animals...

But to get to the point, there is a saying from the buddha that is very pertinent here, it goes like this "Whatever harm an enemy may do to an enemy, or a hater to a hater, an ill-directed mind inflicts on oneself greater harm" or this stoic saying can be useful too "That things have no hold on the soul. They stand there unmoving, outside it. Disturbance comes only from within, from our own perceptions"

Also, if one were to remember that death is around the corner, they wouldn't allow themselves to be held back by other people's actions...

[Sarah]

However sister Sarah, if you need our help (Remember it is GOD who helps really),please do not hesitate to say.
Either here or by PM.
If there is anything I can do to help you get on your feet and I can, I will GOD willing.
GOD bless you .
Peace.

Thank you Good Logic for the kindness. )

God bless you too

[Sarah]

I feel for her. The problem is that she was picked to be scapegoat because the narc sensed her to be a good human being with a mind of her own. She was probably gaslighted into believing that she was horrible and anything she does is always wrong. I pray that she ends up in a happy relationship/marriage with an understanding man since her road is gonna be tough ahead. Can't even recommend her therapist. The damage is just not easy to fix.

Thanks for having some empathy sister I appreciate it.

But although they managed to use me by getting me to work for them without pay, I never believed that I was horrible or bad for wanting to get paid because that's basically the reason for why I worked. One of the ladies in the office tried to make me feel guilty by staring at me in a certain way but it never got to me. It was just way too obvious they're the ones in the wrong. I think I have been gaslighted before in my life by other people but not this time.

[Sarah]

Life is way too short to be thinking like this, to be living like a perpetual victim, or to be held back by other people's wrong doings... Also if you believed that you've been damaged tha's when you truly become damaged.

Look at the animal world for instance, being preyed upon, having to constantly run for your life, being in a life and death situation most of the time, having to rely on your senses to survive etc....and yet for every occurence the animal becomes stronger and more prepared, they may end up with scars, but that does not hold them back. The strongest animals, the survivors, have the most scars too. These are animals...

But to get to the point, there is a saying from the buddha that is very pertinent here, it goes like this "Whatever harm an enemy may do to an enemy, or a hater to a hater, an ill-directed mind inflicts on oneself greater harm" or this stoic saying can be useful too "That things have no hold on the soul. They stand there unmoving, outside it. Disturbance comes only from within, from our own perceptions"

Also, if one were to remember that death is around the corner, they wouldn't allow themselves to be held back by other people's actions...

The thing is, if you got offered a job (not voluntary work) and you worked very hard and at the end of it all do not get paid, would you not feel like that's unjust? Don't tell me you're better than the rest of us and could just get over it in a day. I also bet you have felt wronged in your life before in other words, like a 'victim'. So there's no need to victim blame. I have the right to feel angered by what happened.

Just because animals may have it worse than me, doesn't mean that what I've been through hasn't been a struggle. We all have our own struggles and trials in life. Funnily enough this is what narcissists do. They undermine a person's suffering by always comparing it to someone else's. If I were an animal going through those struggles you've mentioned and I'd complain hypothetically speaking, I guess you could say well at least you didn't die in a fire. I'm not saying you're a narcissist but undermining my struggle is not a good to do.

I don't just feel anger at them because they wronged me, they also wronged other people who worked for them. Never paid them. I feel sad for them too. It's only human to feel angry at injustice. Do I want to get over my anger? Yes I do. It's a process. I want to get on with my life the best way possible.

And my case is worthy of bringing into court. Would you also tell all other people who went to court that they all have a victim mentality and should just forget and let the narcissists and the sociopaths out there carry on doing illegal activities?

It's easy to point the finger at someone and say you have a victim mindset when it's not you who's suffering and doesn't affect you personally.

Also victim mentality is 'the belief that one is always a victim the idea that bad things will always happen to one.' Do I feel like a victim all the time? No. In fact sometimes I feel I've wronged people too because I'm imperfect. But I'm not proud of that and try to make things right.

[Cerberus]

The thing is, if you got offered a job (not voluntary work) and you worked very hard and at the end of it all do not get paid, would you not feel like that's unjust? Don't tell me you're better than the rest of us and could just get over it in a day. I also bet you have felt wronged in your life before in other words, like a 'victim'. So there's no need to victim blame. I have the right to feel angered by what happened.

If it is unjust it's unjust; Personally I might get frustrated at first, but I'll eventually try to see if there is anything I can do, e.g suing, and if I was willing to go that route, I'll do it, otherwise, I'll just drop it. Might leave a couple of bad reviews etc...and then move on.

Just because animals may have it worse than me, doesn't mean that what I've been through hasn't been a struggle. We all have our own struggles and trials in life. Funnily enough this is what narcissists do. They undermine a person's suffering by always comparing it to someone else's. If I were an animal going through those struggles you've mentioned and I'd complain hypothetically speaking, I guess you could say well at least you didn't die in a fire. I'm not saying you're a narcissist but undermining my struggle is not a good to do.

The point that I tried to make is that even animals aren't held back by their struggle, but in the contrary, they become stronger and more prepared.

And my case is worthy of bringing into court. Would you also tell all other people who went to court that they all have a victim mentality and should just forget and let the narcissists and the sociopaths out there carry on doing illegal activities?

Yes absolutely, if you can go to court do so...That's one of the things that you could do. Your question is absolutely nonsensical though, I've never said anything close to that....

It's easy to point the finger at someone and say you have a victim mindset when it's not you who's suffering and doesn't affect you personally.

I agree, but I never did that though..(show me otherwise).
SOMEHOW you feel attacked by what I wrote as a response to what reel said, basically what she said is "this person was hurt, and then hurt more and I dont think the damage is easy to fix"....apparently that's what having sympathy is like ?????...But really I thought you needed more than sympathy so I wrote some advice that you could take for what it's worth or leave.

My advice would be to focus on a noble goal in your life, if you have any. These things you're talking about are not hindering you from, say, becoming better, or becoming closer to god. But it is the opposite, these are all opportunities to achieve those goals.
Try not to focus on hardship from the perspective of someone who is being harmed, but instead try to look at it from the perspective of someone being challenged, and through such events you can change for the better, or change for the worst (even in a very small proportion).

Sometimes the subjects of our complaints make no sense. A liar for lying ? An ignorant person for an ignorant deed ? .... Everything is in order and instead what we can do is try to understand them and learn to deal with them. All these are part of life's challenges. We either reform ourselves to succeed in these challenges as we meet them, OR, we fail to reform ourselves and fail the challenges, get stuck, complain, suffer, look for easy way out....etc.

[reel]

Thanks for having some empathy sister I appreciate it.

But although they managed to use me by getting me to work for them without pay, I never believed that I was horrible or bad for wanting to get paid because that's basically the reason for why I worked. One of the ladies in the office tried to make me feel guilty by staring at me in a certain way but it never got to me. It was just way too obvious they're the ones in the wrong. I think I have been gaslighted before in my life by other people but not this time.

Thanks for clarification. I thought you were a scapegoat from nfamily. But I must say narcs are a headache at work also. I want you to win against them. My prayer is with you. Fight them calmly so they don't do any drama of heading for suicide or having fake heart attack just to make it look like you were the one abusing them.

Life is way too short to be thinking like this, to be living like a perpetual victim, or to be held back by other people's wrong doings... Also if you believed that you've been damaged tha's when you truly become damaged.

That's the exact thing narcs use against their victims though. There is a joke about it also
"Narcissist's Prayer That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did... You deserved it."

Look at the animal world for instance, being preyed upon, having to constantly run for your life, being in a life and death situation most of the time, having to rely on your senses to survive etc....and yet for every occurence the animal becomes stronger and more prepared, they may end up with scars, but that does not hold them back. The strongest animals, the survivors, have the most scars too. These are animals...

You are describing survival of the fittest family system in which narcs are the parents. Unfortunately, this is unhealthy and immoral for humans http//parenting.exposed/tag/survival-of-the-fittest-family-system/

But to get to the point, there is a saying from the buddha that is very pertinent here, it goes like this "Whatever harm an enemy may do to an enemy, or a hater to a hater, an ill-directed mind inflicts on oneself greater harm" or this stoic saying can be useful too "That things have no hold on the soul. They stand there unmoving, outside it. Disturbance comes only from within, from our own perceptions"

Also, if one were to remember that death is around the corner, they wouldn't allow themselves to be held back by other people's actions...

Such things don't apply to victims esp scapegoat children of narcs. What they go through is like emotional rape. Nature of narcs truly debunks the idea that movie villains are fictional characters. They live to be evil. Hard to believe. Children are an easy target. This sums up what is in store for them https//www.nctsn.org/what-is-child-trauma/trauma-types/complex-trauma/effects