sex before marriage
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does anyone have any good explanations as to why we can't have sex before marriage or have bf/gf just by using our common sence? like how would someone that believes in god and the last day know that sex before marriage is not allowed if he can't read the quran?
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Firstly, because of the real and present danger of having children (there is no hundred percent contraceptive unless both of the people are sterile completely) and not being in a strong enough commitment to care for them properly and permanently. People have/had different ways of maybe being married around the world and in differerent time periods, normally it's something thats announced at least to a few even if there are no legalities (paperwork) done. The quran tells us of a solid way of doing many things as well as marriage. You don't need to read the quran for many things that are practised around the world to gauge what the reasons might be for doing them...
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Salaam Steve,
we had a thread going on this. It was "understanding zina" so if you use the search you'll have some more ideas.
Also some threads in the marriage divore section (may be in parenting and children) on what constitutes a marriage.
Just yesterday i read surat annoor, with the story of A?sha - wife of the prophet. She had been left behind in the desert and a young man had brought her back to the camp. People started talking and the sura says you shouldn't have imagined things (zina) if you are unable to produce four witnesses.
So is zina just adultery or fornication (as sex outside wedlock) or is it pornography ? It's not that easy...
Guess that when you engage in sexual relations with someone, it should be a clean and clear relation (you are not cheating on other people or having multiple partners) and you should also be ready and able to assume consequences - which means have a sincere committment to this person. In short - not just **** around. That's the understanding to which i have come.
Peace all, Elke
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Peace Steve, All
Just yesterday I was thinking about something Joe wrote on another thread.
Even the unmarried ones breed. D
As to why, it's because we want sex here.
Joe
I was thinking about this blinding sex need and whether Al Quran has anything to say about it. I came to realize that Al Quran does not forbid prostitution! In Arabic it is called = Bighaa'a. A bad job no doubt, but for the desperately poor women, it means survival. Al Bighaa?a is a completely different thing than Zina.
Ayah tells fathers not to force their daughters to work as prostitutes if their daughters did not want to! Al Quran addresses it as a job that some women practice. I think that in the West this job exists, but maybe without the condition Married men are not allowed!
So for those desperate unmarried men, I believe it is not wrong to buy this need and so, save their fianc?s from engaging in something that may not end up with marriage!
Anyway, this is my understanding now from the Ayat , , . I would like to see your understaning too. -
jawdrop shock
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Firstly, because of the real and present danger of having children (there is no hundred percent contraceptive unless both of the people are sterile completely)
In that case sex outside marriage is OK?
Regards,
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Interesting point Taj
So, in general, a man cannot have sex without a giving the woman some sort of protection or resource (i.e. money)....
But what about women's sexuality? Do we not have needs too?!?
I'm going to have to check that out in the Book.
I don't differentiate between marriage, bf/gf. Commitment is personal and if two people have a mutual agreement, then so be it.
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Salam Jaxal,
What does the Quran says about the Bighaa'a here
**Let those who find not the wherewithal for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah gives them means out of His grace. And if any of your slaves ask for a deed in writing (to enable them to earn their freedom for a certain sum), give them such a deed if ye know any good in them yea, give them something yourselves out of the means which Allah has given to you. But force not your maids to prostitution when they desire chastity, in order that ye may make a gain in the goods of this life. But if anyone compels them, yet, after such compulsion, is Allah, Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful (to them), **
Does Allah by any chance blame those daughters for working as prostitutes? In this Ayah, Allah is asking the fathers not to take advantage from their daughters when their daughters choose to stay away from such contacts.
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Salaam sis Taj,
Wow ,you surprise me sister with your understanding!
I can't see anything of prostitution in that verse.
If you read some verses before this verse you can see that Allah Guide both the believing men and females to lower their gaze and keep their private parts covered.
I mean if prostitution was allowed why then cover your private parts!?
Peace
Sis Majidah -
SaLaM Taj
Prostituion out of compulsion. Hency why Allah will be forgiving. If prostituion is not out of complusion then would Allah be this forgiving? Maybe so. But that dont mean Allah allows prostitution. Allah also forgives denying the faith out of complusion or eating pig out of compsulsion. Doesnt mean that we are allowed to denounce our faith for person gain or eat pork.
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Salaam all,
sister taj, if i follow your logic, a "muslim" father would be allowed to make a prostitute of his agreeing daughter, in which case she would be to blame. On the other hand, the father would be to blame but not the daughter if he forced her.... roll
Sorry, but i don't see no prostitution allowed. It's just the thing about compulsion - in islam we can bend in order not to break.
Elke
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Salam Majidah,
Why would any woman work as a prostitute?
The answer is It is a job for the desperate!
And who would force a woman to work as such?
Sometimes her father, and if she has no family and no education and she needs to survive, she would have to work as such.
So in some desperate situations, her body would be the only thing that she can sell in order to survive the day. Does Allah blame her? I don?t see in the whole Quran where Allah blames the desperate. So who are we to point a finger at those women/girls?
in the Ayah Allah ask the fathers not to force their daughters to work as such. Allah does not blame those girls for what they were forced to do.On the other hand, there seems to be some men in this world who are so desperate in getting that need satisfied. As a woman, I cannot understand it, and I don?t think that any woman can.
In the Middle East, there is no prostitution. I mean that this job is not official! So what happens is, those men get married at a very young age and so they treat their wives as prostitutes, without even knowing it. The belief here in the Arab and "Muslim" world is wives are created to satisfy their husbands only, and not just that, also, that if the woman does not do that job perfectly, then she will be cursed. Do you understand the humiliation when a husband thinks that his wife is only there to satisfy him? And that he feeds her and shelters her in return to his satisfaction? And that she would be very lucky if she managed to carry his babies and alone she would take full care of them, otherwise she will soon be out of the door?
My point is
Marriage in not just for sex. If men are so desperate for sex then they should seek it from the desperate. Men should get married only when they are ready for the responsibility of a family. -
SaLaM Taj
Why would any woman work as a prostitute?
The answer is It is a job for the desperate!Sorry Taj but that is not true. If a disabled man can work decently, so can a woman. That is why i dont give money to beggers. They have 2 hands and feet . Use them.
As for what you say about men and marriage is true. In arab world, in pakistan, in india. In every single country. God allows the woman to get out of that kind of marrage. Thats the whole point of divorce.