I need help!
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Dear Nahla,
I totally agree with Jaxal and icephren.
Just a word of advice, ?muslim? can mean many things, if you both agree on what islam is, then, no problem, but if this is not clarified before a more serious relationship, you may find yourself in a jam at some later stage. Religion can be a very strong emotional thing, overshadowing other aspects of life.
Regards
Ali Omar
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PEACE, NAHLA,
Welcome.
Hello. I am a former Christian lady who has converted to Islam. I am currently in the process of a divorce from an unbeliever. This is my question. I am currently dating a Muslim man, and he intends on taking me as his wife when the divorce is final. I know in my heart that this man was a gift from God, someone that I've prayed for my entire life. He is kind and has financially supported me, despite my resistance. I love him dearly. However, I have read that dating is not Muslim. Are we commiting a sin? We have not had intercourse, and we are respectful of one another. Thank you for your input.
If by conversion to Al-Islam you mean that, you subscribe to the so-called five pillars and the articles of faith, well, you have converted to Al-Islam at all and you remain in idolatry ( .
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Salam Nahla
being myself a muslim I had a date yesterday with a muslim and I can tell you there's nothing wrong with it. I would be wrong if you'd go further. But only dating is fine. How could you know each other if not dating and talk about what both you want and expect?
But I agree with Ali Omar
but if this is not clarified before a more serious relationship, you may find yourself in a jam at some later stage. Religion can be a very strong emotional thing, overshadowing other aspects of life.
Try to clear up as many things as possible. Does he want you to wear Hijab? does he agree if you're working outside the house? Do you have to live like a born Muslim or can you keep some of your old values and way of living?
I was asked yesterday all these questions and more and unfortunately I had to say No, I can't , I won't cryPropably this man told you about conventional Islam. Read more articles on this Site about the Islam of God-Alone and then decide
I wish the best for you and may God help you in finding the right decision!
salam
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Hi Nahla,
I know in my heart that this man was a gift from God, someone that I've prayed for my entire life. He is kind and has financially supported me, despite my resistance. I love him dearly.
Its nice to know u r in love. )
However, I have read that dating is not Muslim. Are we commiting a sin? We have not had intercourse, and we are respectful of one another. Thank you for your input.
Now this really depends on what version of islam u or ur boyfriend believe and practise!
as for the the Quran only version, i dont think its wrong to date.
infact, dating is a very good opportunity to get to know each other before u make a very important decission of matrimony.
i think its good to maintain a physical boundary though.Godd luck to u! )
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Peace be upon you,
What was it about your husband that gave him the description "unbeliever"?
Was he not one who is peaceful?
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Hello Sister Nahla
I have an answer from the Quran, I remeber this verse very well when I read it about 20 years ago, it stroke me because it talks about dating the other sex before marriage, let's look at the verse, but I'm sorry I always put the original arabic alonge with the english translation, the reason i do that is in case anyone wants to question anything, I always refer to the original arabic words, the verse is 2235
"And there is no blame on you respecting that which you speak indirectly in the asking of (such) women in marriage or keep (the proposal) concealed within your minds; Allah knows that you win mention them, but do not give them a promise in secret unless you speak in a lawful manner, and do not confirm the marriage tie until the writing is fulfilled, and know that Allah knows what is in your minds, therefore beware of Him, and know that Allah is Forgiving, Forbearing.
(235)
please let me know if you find the verse hard to understand
cheers
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Salaam,
That verse i guess is reffering to widows not other women, correct me if I'm wrong please!?
Peace Sis Maria
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Salaam sis Nahla,
I know how u feel because i'm nearly in the same situation as you.
I'm also in the middle of a divorce but from a sunni male, I'm not sunni anymore so our beliefs is not same and that has caused conflicts.
I have also meet another man who I have begin to learn to know during chat at msn and yahoo messenger.We haven't physically meet eachother because we live in different countries.But if that was the case I wouldn't stay away from meeting him.
But we must respect what the other part thinks and if he don't want to see u until u are divorced u must agree if u like him.
But if he is an unbeliever it doesn't matter, then u don't have a waiting time like muslim women married to muslim men has.That waiting period is 3 month.
Take Care!
Peace Sis Maria
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Salaam,
That verse i guess is reffering to widows not other women, correct me if I'm wrong please!?
Peace Sis Maria
Salam sister
no sister as far as the arabic/english words go, it is talking about all women in general and never mentioned any widow
also I beleive there is a mistake in the translation by Yusuf Ali
the arabic words " "
was translated as follow by Yusuf Ali
...but do not give them a promise in secret unless you speak in a lawful manner, and do not confirm the marriage tie until the writing is fulfilled,..
I see this translation totally wrong, the above clear arabic words means literaly as follow
"Do not meet in secret the women you are ENAGED TO "Khotba" UNLESS you speak in a lawful manner, and do not sleep with them until the marraige contract has been fulfilled"
I'm not surprised how Yusuf Ali did this silly mistake, for someone to translate the arabic word "Kawkab" which means "Planet" to "Star" makes me laugh at him but I still respect him for sure and even use his work, but unfortunately his many mistakes causes confusion to many non arabic speakers muslims
i'm not saying that his translation made you understand the verses as it is about the widows as Yusuf Ali did not mention widows at all, but yet his translation took the verse totally out of the clear arabic meaning
the word means "to meet them" not to promise them with marraige, this is actaully a laugh to undesrand the way Y A suggested
he also missed the clear arabic word which means engagement
from the above clear arabic verse, it is ok for men to meet their fiances even in secret AS LONG AS THEY SAY LAWFULL WORDS AND THEY ALSO ACT LAWFULLY BY NOT SLEEPING TOGETHER UNTILL THEY BECOME HUSBAND AND WIFE
this is is not what I said, this is the clear arabic words indeed
cheers
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I would like to thank you all for your replies, and answer some of your questions.
Sis Maria wrote
But if he is an unbeliever it doesn't matter, then u don't have a waiting time like muslim women married to muslim men has.That waiting period is 3 month.
Thank you for clarifying that.
idolfree1 wrote
What was it about your husband that gave him the description "unbeliever"?
Was he not one who is peaceful?
LOL! He is NOT peaceful. In fact, he says that Islam is an enemy, and even before my conversion, he treated me as if I were an enemy. He was harsh with me and was never kind or respectful. He treated me like a possession, and not as a person worthy of love.
M_Mehdi wrote
i just want to ask why you are going from one relationship straight into another without taking some time in between to make yourself whole again.. hmm.. say three months or so.. just so you can become whole for and within yourself.. before you join again with another?
As for waiting, we have been seperated for over one year. I have spent many many months crying, praying, hoping, praying, praying, praying. As I said, the man I am engaged to now is an answered prayer. I am whole, or else I would still be trapped in the "prison" that was my "marriage." Now, I am free, and am therefore fully able to decide to commit to this man who is so peaceful and kind and cares for me so much.
peacefulmuslim wrote
Its nice to know u r in love.
I am very much in love. This man is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I appreciate your well wishes.
I have found true comfort in this forum. Thank you all once again for being so helpful.
Salam,
Sis Nahla -
Peace be upon you Nahla,
What was it about your husband that gave him the description "unbeliever"?
Was he not one who is peaceful?LOL! He is NOT peaceful. In fact, he says that Islam is an enemy, and even before my conversion, he treated me as if I were an enemy. He was harsh with me and was never kind or respectful. He treated me like a possession, and not as a person worthy of love.
"ISLAM" is an enemy, as are all religions when they divide one human from another. Peacefulness (islam) is what we seek.
Since your husband though treated you incorrectly and was not willing to transcend his emotions, then yuo are right in your decision, but don't run to another "religion" and remain divided from those who call themselves "christian" or any other ridiculous title, our goal is PEACE by following the laws of the universe (Spiritual and physical).
This reading(quran) says that we have NOTHING to do with SECTS(religions), we are ONE COMMUNITY
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don't run to another "religion" and remain divided from those who call themselves "christian" or any other ridiculous title, our goal is PEACE by following the laws of the universe (Spiritual and physical).
This reading(quran) says that we have NOTHING to do with SECTS(religions), we are ONE COMMUNITY
Thank you so much for saying that! You have quoted my main reason for turning to Islam. Because I want peace, because Allah is peaceful.
Thank you so much!