sex before marriage
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Salaam Jaxal,
I didn't really get your opinion on this.
Quran 2226-228 For those who are discontent with their wives,let them wait for four months.If they reconcile,then God is Forgiving, Most Merciful.And if they insist on the divorce, then God is hearer,Knowledgeable.And the divorced women shall wait for three menstruation periods; and it is not lawful for them to conceal what God has created in their wombs, if they believe in God and the Last Day.And their husbands would then have just cause to return together, if they both wish to reconcile...................
I just thought you meant that the women have to wait 3 month after the 3 month shock
But Quran are talking about men who want to divorce their wives but women who want to divorce their men!? Is the rule same for them? Well maybe not the 3 month waiting period though For the men I meant!
Peace
Sis Majidah -
Salaam Jaxal,
Ok, sorry that I misundertood u!
Peace
Sis Majidah -
As Salaam Alaikum,
I don't see in the Ayah anything about sex as a price to freedom.
Taj you are trying to argue that prostitution is ok in Islam. at least you are trying to say that it is not forbidden.
The verse that you have quoted is taking about SLAVES who are making contracts to gain freedom from thier masters. Allah says DO NOT force them to give sex in exchange for freedom. And even when a woman DOES consent to give sex, Allah says that he will forgive her (i.e. it is a sin on her part to give sex).
The Ayah does not speak about slavery nor does it speak about sex for freedom. Can you point out in the Ayah where it says "sex for freedom" or "slavery", please?
Oh gosh yes it does. Read it for yourself. I'm qutooign the same verse you have been quoting..
salaam
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As Salaam Alaikum,
sex consumates a marriage, and my personal interpretation is that you can have sex with someone....and then youre married. So considder carefully what you do. Because if it doesnt work out there is a 4 month waiting period, before you can redo it.
)Mashallah! - This fits perfectly. I was looking at the problem backwards - no wonder it didn't make sense.
The 4 month rule is sufficient to detremine if the girl is pergnant or if the anyone has any STDs.
peace
If sex means you are married, then why are we punished for fornication adn adultery????
salaam
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As'salaamu Alaikum...
Please forgive me for not reading each and every reply to this thread...if what I say is redundant or incorrect may Allah (swt) as well as all those reading this please forgive my mistake.
Umm...the first page alone was kind of "scary"...I think it should really be reminded that lots and lots people lurk at websites like this and lots of people who may not really have a full, thorough understanding of the Qur'aan may be posting things that will appear to be parts of Islam, but really are not. All this "I heard" or "I think" or "It seems to me" should really have no place in any of this because if we believe in the Qur'aan then we should cite everything from the Qur'aan (as it relates to answering a question about Islam)..we shouldn't state that our opinion is fact, nor should we think that our understanding of a certain ayat is solid fact. The fact that ANYONE could think that prostitution was remotely supported much less PREMOTED in that ayat quoted just really boggles my mind. It is scary, actually.
We as humans who live in this dunya have many urges and many desires...the mere fact that we have said urge or desire is not proper justification for giving into those feelings. Just because someone likes sex or thinks sex is no big deal does not mean that this mindset is ideal or that it's supported in the Qur'aan or in any aspect of a truly Islamic lifestyle. This issue is very simple...sex before marriage is prohibitted in Islam, as is dating...prostitution is a no go...cheating is a no go...no matter how we try to explain our way out of these pure facts, doesn't change the reality. Islam is not a way of life for the weak hearted, it's not about having all the fun we want and la la la skipping down the lane doing whatever feels right in that moment...it's about a deeper ecstasy, a true connection with no deviation with the ONE, it's about strengthening the God (swt) qualities inside ourselves...
I see so many people who try to change Islam to suit their needs...the reality is that if we are true muslims we will change ourselves to suit Islam...
Forgive me if I've offended anyone, that was not my intent.
For those who doubt any of this they can check out Surah 55 in the Qur'aan, there are others I can quote as well.
Masalaama,
Amina
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There's little use in singling out a certain "group" or "sect" or school of thought...there is only one ummah. It's been said many times over that it is that which seperates us from fellow man which also seperates us from Allah (swt)...there are sunnis and shi'is and salafis and sufis who subscribe to bid'ah just as their are "God only" people who do as well...most ills are human conditions, not conditions only had by someone with a certain label...
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peace Amina
...as is dating
No it is not. Not at all. How on earth would you meet a suitable partner and get to know that person if you werent allowed. You are not allowed to mix up dating and marriage wit each their individual rights and responsabilites.
I see so many people who try to change Islam to suit their needs...
Like those listening to hearsay and things wich simply just aren't true?
I dont take offend by words. dont worry.
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Salaam Sis Amina,
This is a discussion board so if we can't discuss and give our understanding then there will be no discussion.
There are many who quotes verses from Quran in their posts but they also explain their view of that verse, what's wrong with that?
Peace sis Maria
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peace Amina
...as is dating
No it is not. Not at all. How on earth would you meet a suitable partner and get to know that person if you werent allowed. You are not allowed to mix up dating and marriage wit each their individual rights and responsabilites.
I see so many people who try to change Islam to suit their needs...
Like those listening to hearsay and things wich simply just aren't true?
I dont take offend by words. dont worry.
Salaam,
Unfortunately it seems that you're taking what YOU think is a suitable way to find a mate and trying to apply it to the logic of Allah (swt)...dating, as in one man, alone with one woman out together, alone in one of their homes, etc..etc...certainly IS prohibited. Getting to know someone, having them come over to your house with your family there, talking to them in depth, spending time with them in group settings...is not prohibited. You will find countless references to this in the Quran, many ayats saying that non marhem men and woman are to be kept seperate...there are refernces to this over and over and over again...
Also, as I stated above "(Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time, when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends. ... ? - Al-Ma'idah 55.
Doing this whole "GOD Alone" thing is wonderful...great...but to ignore the fact that knowing arabic, reading arabic, and consulting with Arabic/Qur'aanic scholars in order to fully UNDERSTAND the true ilm of the Qu'raan is negligent at best. Anyone can pick up a paper back, english translation of the "Koran" at their local bookstore and decide what they want it to mean to them, however this does not mean that they are understanding the true intention of the words...
Seems to me a lot of folks really just want to be able to live life however they feel like it and call it "Islam" stating that they believe in "GOD Alone"...that's well and good but it doesn't mean that they are living in a way that is truthful or prescribed by the Qur'aan.
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Salaam Sis Amina,
This is a discussion board so if we can't discuss and give our understanding then there will be no discussion.
There are many who quotes verses from Quran in their posts but they also explain their view of that verse, what's wrong with that?
Peace sis Maria
Walaikum asalaam ya ukhti,
I am not suggesting that dialogue is not a wonderful thing...I am just stating that saying "I heard" or "I think" is utterly irrevelent when it comes to stating what is haram or halal or what is prescribed for us or not...it's all found in the text. If people want to back up their point they must back it up with Qur'aanic text and sound, scholarly explinantion...the example of someone in another thread posting something ANTI-prostitution and then saying that he/she believes the Qur'aan supports prostitution is a good example of this being a problem.
As for dialogue and convo I'm all for it...
Insha'Allah your fast is going well and all is good in your life ukhti..
~Amina
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Salaam,
Unfortunately it seems that you're taking what YOU think is a suitable way to find a mate and trying to apply it to the logic of Allah (swt)...dating, as in one man, alone with one woman out together, alone in one of their homes, etc..etc...certainly IS prohibited. Getting to know someone, having them come over to your house with your family there, talking to them in depth, spending time with them in group settings...is not prohibited. You will find countless references to this in the Quran, many ayats saying that non marhem men and woman are to be kept seperate...there are refernces to this over and over and over again...
wa alaikum salam
show me yours and i will show you mine.
2235
"And there is no blame on you respecting that which you speak indirectly in the asking of (such) women in marriage or keep (the proposal) concealed within your minds; Allah knows that you win mention them, but do not give them a promise in secret unless you speak in a lawful manner, and do not confirm the marriage tie until the writing is fulfilled, and know that Allah knows what is in your minds, therefore beware of Him, and know that Allah is Forgiving, Forbearing.
dating is allowd, even in secret if it is honest the couple in between. And we should not "confirm" the marriage untill the writing is fullfilled. So if the confirmation is not the wedding (practical part) then what might it be were told not to do, when we date untill we have the legal ground covered?
Fell free to crosscheck with
http//yaqb.lrhazi.com/
and
http//www.studyquran.co.uk (our Wakaz project it would seem)Also, as I stated above "(Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time, when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends. ... ? - Al-Ma'idah 55.
Who inserted all those brackets?
Doing this whole "GOD Alone" thing is wonderful...great...but to ignore the fact that knowing arabic, reading arabic, and consulting with Arabic/Qur'aanic scholars in order to fully UNDERSTAND the true ilm of the Qu'raan is negligent at best. Anyone can pick up a paper back, english translation of the "Koran" at their local bookstore and decide what they want it to mean to them, however this does not mean that they are understanding the true intention of the words...
So far all discussion i have seen here regarding the Qur'aan rely heavily on Arab, and word roots. So this is simply not true sister.
Seems to me a lot of folks really just want to be able to live life however they feel like it and call it "Islam" stating that they believe in "GOD Alone"...that's well and good but it doesn't mean that they are living in a way that is truthful or prescribed by the Qur'aan.
The same can be said about following other scriptures than the Qur'aan. that is not living according to Qur'aan either., Nomatter if you read it in English or Arabic
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Salaam Amina and Welcome
dating, as in one man, alone with one woman out together, alone in one of their homes, etc..etc...certainly IS prohibited.
you're the one who puts in the etc. etc.... What do you mean by it ? wink
BTW, people may meet and not do anything prohibited - even when alone!
You also say
many ayats saying that non marhem men and woman are to be kept seperate...there are refernces to this over and over and over again...
Could you give references please ?
Elke
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premarital sex is obviously not permitted. The Islamic dress code take cares of that argument in my opinion. The women are allowed to relaz their behaivior infront of relatives ONLY. If Allah doesnt allow women to attract strange men, how can he allow sex with them. it doesnt make sense. Also, someone said that prostitution is allowed. I think the Ayah he/she mentioned was addressed to men and said that they shouldnt force their daughters into something as lowly as prostitution just for greed. that's what I understand. and of course when it comes down to logic, sex after marriage is a much much better idea than sex before marriage. even with condoms and all.
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Salaam Phoenix1,
Well it isn't so good morally to try all women you like before you get married.
Why then have God allow divorces!?
Peace sis Majidah
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Allah has allowed divorce because of potential abuse. There are many cases where the husbands are abusive, and the wives are unfaithful, or vice versa. Even though divorce is allowed, it cant be done just because your tired of having sex with the same person again and again, or if your just bored. There has to be a very strong reason for breaking up a family.
If Allah had allowed dating, and sex before marriage, then obviously then people would try out partners before finally settling down. This causes several problems, from spread of STDs, to the objectifying of women (because the men would not be satisfied with anyone once they've experienced a very beautiful woman, or know that they can have anyone they want). Marriage also becomes a lot less significant, making divorce common. As you can see, dating can destroy society. -
Salaam,
Yeah I agree with you!!!!
Peace Sis Majidah