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  4. Arranged Marriages are an INJUSTICE?

Arranged Marriages are an INJUSTICE?

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  • U Offline
    U Offline
    unknownuser
    wrote on last edited by
    #94

    Hi,

    I was getting married when I was 17 and have 5 kids now.

    Wow!

    Well I don't believe in that hijjab rules at all, it's manmade.

    Quran tell us to be modest in our dressing. period.
    Hijab is a traditional custom branded 'islamic' by people themselves.

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      SwedenMajidah
      wrote on last edited by
      #95

      Salaam Pm,

      Quran tell us to be modest in our dressing. period.
      Hijab is a traditional custom branded 'islamic' by people themselves.

      YES I AGREE!!!!

      And I think the clothes like hijjab,jilbab and so on came from the desert Arabs because they wore that kind of clothes due to the rough climate.And then it spread to other groups too.It has nothing to do with Islam.

      Dressing modest can all do and modest differ from where you live.Modest in Uk don't have to be same as modest in SA.

      Peace Sis Majidah

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        Tahira
        wrote on last edited by
        #96

        Hi peacfulmuslim

        No, but it can help. Anyway I believe beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You and i might see someone who we think ugly but whoever fell in love with him/her would think otherwise. I know a few men (one of them my brother) who got married to women because they were beautiful(full stop) but those women (no offence to BEAUTIFUL and INTELLIGENT women)don't seem to have a tiny grain of intelligence in them. Some of them are stupid beyond belief, I mean they only have to open their mouths and all this rubbish pours out ,they make a scene out of everything and have to be the centre of attention.
        Clearly these men have only married them for their looks so they can parade their little trophies. My brother before he got married would say "i want a beautiful wife." " i would feel ashamed if i was seen with an ugly village girl".

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          Tahira
          wrote on last edited by
          #97

          SwedenMajidah

          Why did you have 5 kids? Just curious.

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            TAJ
            wrote on last edited by
            #98

            Peace All,

            I was getting married when I was 17 and have 5 kids now.

            Ma sha Allah, 5 Kids, God bless them )
            But isn't giving birth really painful!?

            A QUESTION FOR MOST MUSLIM MEN. How do you fall in love with a woman/girl wearing full hijab and covering her face? How can you fall in love if you can't see her. Imagine you guys marrying a girl and lifting her veil on the wedding night and she looks like something from the planet of the apes. Didn't Allah create each and every face different for a reason.

            Planet of the apes!!?? And what is wrong with the apes!? I think that they are very beautiful creatures. I have a pic over my bed of Jeff Corwin exchanging a hug with an orangutan. She's so cute and was hugging him so lovingly. You should see her broad smile D I envy him so much, honestly. If only I can be in his place!

            Ugliness is in the behaviour, never in the looks.

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            • W Offline
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              warda
              wrote on last edited by
              #99

              Salam people

              If any one knows about forced/arranged marriage it s got to be me. I got thrown away(head first) into marriage when i was 16. I didn't have a clue about what was going on till 3 days before my wedding and when i objected i was told by mum that she'll rip up my passport and leave me in pakistan forever. At 16 i was scared to death. My inlaws weren't any help either, they expected me to cook clean and run the house like a perfect housewife ,oh and get pregnant very quickly. I stayed with them for nearly a year and hated every moment of it. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere by myself and would get told off for laughing or having fun.
              My husband didn't stick up for me over there because my relatives and inlaws would always tell him lies about me but when he came here and experianced my life over here(which wasn't any better)things changed and now he's soooooooooooo perfect.
              A QUESTION FOR MOST MUSLIM MEN. How do you fall in love with a woman/girl wearing full hijab and covering her face? How can you fall in love if you can't see her. Imagine you guys marrying a girl and lifting her veil on the wedding night and she looks like something from the planet of the apes. Didn't Allah create each and every face different for a reason.

              Peace Tahira,

              thank you for sharing your story with us. It is sad to see what people are able to do with others. How can one be that cruel to a 16 year old girl??? I just don't understand it!cry
              But as far as I understood, you're out there now and life with your husband alone - Thank God!

              My regards,
              warda

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                unknownuser
                wrote on last edited by
                #100

                Ugliness is in the behaviour, never in the looks.

                Do not be so naive TAJ. Beauty is Beauty. The ancient poet Homer wrote in the Illiad of Helen's beauty as "Beauty, terrible beauty..." and John Keats would write "A Thing of Beauty is Joy forever". A person behaviour can be described as ugly but Beauty stands on its own....

                http//kate.zed1.net/blog/wp-content/images/ugly3_01.jpg

                Regards,

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                  unknownuser
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #101

                  Anyway I believe beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

                  I think Beauty stands on its own.

                  You and i might see someone who we think ugly but whoever fell in love with him/her would think otherwise.

                  Falling in love is a very complex thing. Beauty stands on its own whether you fall in love with that beauty or not...

                  I know a few men (one of them my brother) who got married to women because they were beautiful(full stop) but those women (no offence to BEAUTIFUL and INTELLIGENT women)don't seem to have a tiny grain of intelligence in them. Some of them are stupid beyond belief

                  Stupidity does not make one ugly. It just makes you stupid.
                  But you could say Beauty without Intelligence is dull and boring just like a rose without its fragrance.

                  Clearly these men have only married them for their looks so they can parade their little trophies. My brother before he got married would say "i want a beautiful wife." " i would feel ashamed if i was seen with an ugly village girl".

                  Is it wrong to want Beauty in your life? Are we not all "captivated" by beauty?

                  Regards,

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                    unknownuser
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #102

                    http//kate.zed1.net/blog/wp-content/images/ugly3_01.jpg

                    What a beauty

                    mate, I have fallen in love

                    can you please send me her contact details?

                    peace

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                    • U Offline
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                      unknownuser
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #103

                      Hi Tahira,

                      Hi peacfulmuslim
                      No, but it can help. Anyway I believe beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You and i might see someone who we think ugly but whoever fell in love with him/her would think otherwise. .

                      I agree with u, Tahira.
                      Physical appearance is just one aspect of a human being.
                      Beauty does lie in the eyes of the beholder.
                      When u do not know a person u meet, the physical appearance makes a mark coz thats the only thing u know and hence stands out. But once u get to know a person, the 'person' in him/her stands out while the physical appearance takes a backseat. And the person with a good soul becomes beautiful.
                      And falling in love doesnt hold the physical beauty aspect most significant. If one does fall in love with a person, on account of the physical beauty alone, they are not really in love with the person coz physical beauty is only one tiny aspect of a humanbeing. And they are gonna be very disappointed when they realise that the actual 'person' in her/him would affect him/her in a significant magnitude lot more than the physical beauty would. And he/she would also be disappointed as the physical beauty they fell in love with slowly fades with with time. Beauty of the soul never does. It grows stronger with time.

                      Clearly these men have only married them for their looks so they can parade their little trophies. My brother before he got married would say "i want a beautiful wife." " i would feel ashamed if i was seen with an ugly village girl".

                      Yeah. If humans were mere show objects, only physical beauty would suffice. But as human beings, we have larger roles and purpose and essence/meaning. Physical Beauty can only have a tiny share of importance in a larger picture of life.

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                      • U Offline
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                        unknownuser
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #104

                        Hi sis Taj
                        Peace All,

                        I was getting married when I was 17 and have 5 kids now.

                        Ma sha Allah, 5 Kids, God bless them )
                        But isn't giving birth really painful!?

                        I know sis. I went 'wow' when I heard that too. 5 kids is lots. But I guess some women have the strength and reason to do what they do.

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                        • U Offline
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                          unknownuser
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #105

                          What a beauty
                          mate, I have fallen in love
                          can you please send me her contact details?
                          peace

                          Beauty in the Eye of the Beholder?
                          I think not!

                          But Perhaps Australians after 8 pints of Castlemaine XXXX would be able to find beauty in that picture or any picture wink

                          Just kiddin -)

                          Regards,

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                          • S Offline
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                            SwedenMajidah
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #106

                            Salaam all,

                            I have 5 kids for many reasons. Allah swt have granted me with them and believe me or not I was trying to protect me from being pregnant after my third child but Allah wanted something else.

                            I love all of my kids but I'm not a perfect mom and if I was young today and ready to get married I had wished that I had only one or two kids.

                            It is painful to give birth to a baby but that pain disappear when u see the beautiful face of your newborn child it's an incredible feeling Alhamdulillah.

                            Peace Sis Majidah

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                            • J Offline
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                              Jaxal
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #107

                              SaLaM SM

                              In 3rd world countries, men actually try to get women pregnant so that they hve no choice but to stay in marriage. Women are simply better than men.

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                              • U Offline
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                                unknownuser
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #108

                                Women are simply better than men.

                                Aye chap! They are not just wee better but are fantastic (Margaret Thatcher is excluded from this because she was not really a women!
                                -) wink

                                Regards,

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                                  SwedenMajidah
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #109

                                  Salaam Jaxal,

                                  Thanks Jaxal, Yes we are great D

                                  Peace Sis Majidah

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                                  • U Offline
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                                    unknownuser
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #110

                                    Salaam Jaxal,

                                    Thanks Jaxal, Yes we are great D

                                    Peace Sis Majidah

                                    Please there is no need to blow your own Trumpet wink

                                    Regards,

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                                      SwedenMajidah
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #111

                                      Salaam Lote,

                                      Aha why is that no meaning of blow in my own trumpet?

                                      AM I that great!!!??? lol

                                      Lucky the guy who get the hand on me then wink

                                      Just kidding!!!!!

                                      Peace Sis Majidah

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                                        TAJ
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #112

                                        Peace Majidah,

                                        I meant that you have to undergo a lot of pain roll

                                        5 kids is below average here!
                                        How about Sweden? Is 5 an average?

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                                        • U Offline
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                                          unknownuser
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #113

                                          Salaam Lote,
                                          Aha why is that no meaning of blow in my own trumpet?

                                          It means that women don't need to sing their own praises - their worth is self-evident wink

                                          But also remember "Hell hath No fury when a women is scorned" wink

                                          Regards,

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