How Do I Find a Non-Hadith Spouse?
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For those of you who are, how did you find this person?
We found things along the way, together mostly. Discussion/communication is very important and to second bro Wakas' advice, the mindset and the basics.
Your very lucky to find somenoe on the same level as you!!
PEACE
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Your very lucky to find somenoe on the same level as you!!
I doubt luck has anything to do with it
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For those of you who are married, are you married to somoene who does not practice hadith? If not, how is your marriage affected?
Hmm, Ill talk about myself okay? lol
A non hadith spouse..... will I be worse off since I have a Christian girlfriend even, and we're planning to get married already? I attend the Sunday Mass with her sometimes, celebrated Christmas together, fasted together during both our religious obligations and observe some of our religiously significant days together again. D While more of my girlfriend, she recognizes I have to pray five times a day (I'm still a hadithist) and go to the mosque every friday.
We're still no less of a Muslim and Christian respectively, and we both acknowledge refusing to be converts to each other. I don't want to be a Christian firstly because of course, about the Trinity thing. My girlfriend, shes scared to be a Muslim because of strict rules & rituals, especially the hijab --> she'll roast in it. Haha. Kinda petty reasons but we're working well within the framework of both of our religion and there really hasnt been any conflicts, little or huge ever since we're attached. Taking up certain religion, we're all trying to please God within our own understanding.
For her to take part in Ramadan and Eid with me, she just follows me because she thinks we ought to do things together. She doesnt have to believe in the "holiness" of such months, for her its a harmonious social activity for our relationship and of our own families. Shes doing something more that makes the relationship happier. I'm glad for that. Likewise with me. Hahaha.
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Peace Vizard,
as long as you agree on the fact that there only is one god and are tolerant persons where should be the problem ? Wish you luck for your future marriage. Problems may pop up when hildren come though, at least if each one of you is too attached to specific rituals.
LK
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Peace NoProgressive,
If you are strong, confident and smart enought to know your rights in the marriage and most important your right of "3issmah" the right to divorce/end your marriage if the going gets tough, then fear nothing. Just pick a man who does not have a problem with his self-esteem, someone who is confident of himself yet genuinely kind because even if the time comes where he (might) disagrees with you he still won't hurt you.
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Salaam,
I think this differ between ppl.
My personal opinion about this is that LOVE can't solve everything, it's very hard to have a spouse who have too much different beliefs than yourself.
I love my husband who is a sunni but we have decide to get divorced because we can't be happy with eachothers differencies anymore.
So I'm also looking for a spouse who have more similar thoughts and beliefs like myself, but there must be LOVE also not only respect and understandings.
So I really wish you Allah's mercy upon you to find the right one for you.
Peace Sis Maria
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Peace Vizard,
as long as you agree on the fact that there only is one god and are tolerant persons where should be the problem ? Wish you luck for your future marriage. Problems may pop up when hildren come though, at least if each one of you is too attached to specific rituals.
LKThanks, trying not to have children though. They are devils disguised in little short people's skin suits. twisted
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Peace Pro
According to my knowledge God would rather us to marry those who walk the same path with/as us/ourselves and to steer clear of certain distractions or detractors.
Yet there is no rule that I know of which forbids one to marry another who may be living a totally different system. The nabiyy/mumin of God were married to opposers , but they did not allow their spouses to detain them from union with God.
If you want to talk to a single guy who may share your views I'm available and there are sure to be others. My advice, for now and perhaps till your time here expires, patiently persevere .
Joe
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Yet there is no rule that I know of which forbids one to marry another who may be living a totally different system. The nabiyy/mumin of God were married to opposers , but they did not allow their spouses to detain them from union with God.
Nabi, I am not so sure about that. Lot and the wife of the Pharoah were given guidance after they had already married their spouses. There is no rule that we must divorce those who are opposers, however, I don't think that we can enter into marriages with those who we know are opposers. Of course those who are guided by God can be found in almost every category of people, so I guess it's on a case by case basis.
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Peace Ichephren,
Yet there is no rule that I know of which forbids one to marry another who may be living a totally different system. The nabiyy/mumin of God were married to opposers , but they did not allow their spouses to detain them from union with God.
Nabi, I am not so sure about that. Lot and the wife of the Pharoah were given guidance after they had already married their spouses. There is no rule that we must divorce those who are opposers, however, I don't think that we can enter into marriages with those who we know are opposers. Of course those who are guided by God can be found in almost every category of people, so I guess it's on a case by case basis.
If a woman apposer agrees to marry you, this means that she is not completely opposing your beliefs, right? If she loves you enough she will give you all her ears and attention and it won't be long before she joins you in your beliefs. Because sometimes ignorance is the reason.
I mean that you cannot love someone enough to marry them unless you are ready to change alot of yourself (including your beliefs and convictions). Love breaks the unbreakable!On the other hand, maybe Joe (Nabi) thinks that marriage has nothing to do with spirituality. That marriage is a relationship based on a different level. That a couple can be happily married, living together in peace in the physical level yet each is in a different level regarding their spirituality!
I believe that Islam actually encourages marriages from people who are so far in their beliefs from us. Because that is how the Truth would spread. But that takes real courage. This deal is certainly not for cowards who don't dare to go out and mix to the point of marriage with those who disagree with them!
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If a woman apposer agrees to marry you, this means that she is not completely opposing your beliefs, right? If she loves you enough she will give you all her ears and attention and it won't be long before she joins you in your beliefs.
I mean that you cannot love someone enough to marry them unless you are ready to change alot of yourself (including your beliefs and convictions). Love breaks the unbreakable!You do have a point, but I would add that sometimes love only makes one tolerant. For example, there are Muslims who marry idol worshiping Hindus. It doesn't mean that the Hindu will change nor that the Muslim will change. However, it makes both sides tolerant of belief. Also, a person can love everything about their spouse except that one thing, thereby making them immovable on that issue. I know of several marriages that broke up over religion, or lack of it. Perhaps we put too much stock in emotions as opposed to the total package that a person brings to the table when discussing marriage?
I should say that God does put love between two people for whatever reason, only Allah knows. So, maybe there is wisdom to interreligious marriages. In any instance, people generally do what they want anyway, so the issue is rather moot.