Different aspects of marriage.
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Greetings everyone,
In this topic i would like to welcome experiences people go through even if they do not follow the Qur'an. Marriage now adays is a huge stress. The word marriage itself means so much that anything with its association require alot of prepations; mentaly and materialy.
Yer ol' relashionship ordeal
For instance any ordinary person might want to establish a home. Some people would like to get married to share their love in a home and make kids. They want to share life together paying the bills, raising the kids, and do anything any couple would do.
Muslims can only marry those who believe in the existance of God? Say a Muslim loves a person for their personality regardless their believe, why would they care what their partners believe in? Why would God say do not marry an atheist. Period.(where is the explanation to the denial?)
A second instance is when someone would want a partner without thinking ahead of the big plan. A party of two would construct something together for the present only giving little importance if they are going to stay together in the future and make a home etc... That can be almost related as "friends with benefits" or a one night stand.
I would say that it makes logic that God wants clean community if people are serious about marrying each other. Less unknown bastard-newborns. Less single pregnant women. More goal oriented families. Better community for their children.
Hybrid Marriage
This is where it gets complicated even more. Say, someone is working his way to success and wealth but there are people with much more power and wealth above him. The only way to push himself to that social structure is by influencing his son/daughter to marry someone of a higher position. That will lead the next generation of the lesser family to compete and be among the greater ones.
It can bring some unwanted problems...
Speaking of social stucture, an other instance that drags marriage as a consequence to success is status to residency. Some people out of their native coutries immigrating to foreign countries without legal status are forced to marry somebody in order to achieve basic rights. This happens alot in the United States and i am not sure how it goes in other countries.
I saw many people marrying different others with different believes just to get that residency status. During that marriage some also had sex like scenario number 2, the GF/BF thing.
Gay marriage
An new kind of marriage poping out of the closette is gay marriage. People with same sex partners would want to marry each an other to achieve few goals. They want to be reckognized as a minority. They want to be less hated against in public. They want to have keep their careers without being fired for their sexual orientations and have influence over the government. They also would want to have the same kind of insurances and benefit any other "normal" marriage party gets.
To study more.
So what happened to I love you you love me. Lets be together?. Is that unlawful? Should I make it a public announcement to make it lawful?
Do animals go thru crap humans experience. Animals just do it while we just go thru alot of stupid hardcore trials. You think a lion tells Mr. redbutts monkey and Mr. i have wings Seagull that he just pimped out a new hot fine jungle dominanting female? Do they invite all the jungle bunnies and such for Mr Lion big day? Stupid people invent stupid things for stupid reasons. So maybe in 100 years we will encounter a new kind of marriage that will blow your mind out. And pockets.
I think personally i would marry any girl that is decent. If she is good looking and we form a team together then why not? If she just doens't believe in God, or she believes in Jesus as a God or she worships a man made statue, i do not see it as a boundary to halt love between us. Believe in something must be fuel for the soul not a necessity of marriage. You think that Mr Buddha would want Mr Mohammad to marry his daughter? You think Mr Black African is allowed to marry Mr White's daughter? vice versa. So why do we make believing in God as a cultural influence over marriage? Why does this prejudice takes place even in an individual's right to love and be with somebody which he choses?
I mean....... am i wrong?
-peace
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Peace,
Whoa, that was really honestly to tell us about your dilemma dear Br Weinmar.
But who am I to judge anyway!?
Either you follow Quran or not that's my point, don't bang your head and try to create new laws and forms of relationships.
If I have understand correctly from Quran, it's not advised of God that we take lovers. But if you have found a woman of your dreams and will stay faithful to her, you promise eachother to be faithful to eachother then you are not breaking that rule from Quran of taking lovers.
I don't know really if that part of paying dowry is necessary today, but if you have afford you can give your bride something when you promise eachother to be faithful.
And it doesn't have to be more complicated than this when you and your love to be connect together.
But of course it will take time to learn to know a person. And to avoid of being in a rush, love must take time and grow before you decide to connect in a relationship.
Peace
Maria -
As I said in another thread, every soul is responsible ONLY for him/herself. So, idolworship done by one party will not affect the other in the eyes of God. The reason believers are ADVISED to marry into their fellow believers is that difference of belief has the potential to ruin a marriage by causing certain discomfort between the couple.
For example, a 'hadith doubter' muslim woman might feel very uncomfortable if she got into marriage with a traditional muslim man and her husband demanded her to follow his traditions such as by wearing the ninja-like clothing or staying at home at all times. Another example is that it is very nice for a muslim family of a 'united belief' to go to the mosque or pray at home together. However, such a thing would probably be impossible if the parents do not have the same belief because the muslim father wants to go to the mosque while the christian mother wants to go to the church. Such a relationship would be unhealthy not only for the couple but also for their children if they have any.
Peace ),
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Peace,
I agree with you br Jankren!
Of course God only want to advice us what is most healthy and best for us and if we choose the opposite it's our own problem.
And a relationship among different beliefs can work, it doesn't have to be impossible in all cases though.
So if you want to make a challenge, why not marry someone you love even if he/she isn't of same beliefs as you are, because if there are respect then it might work.
Peace
Maria