The Dilemma

[unknownuser]

For those who do not know, I have been raised as a Sunni. I have followed the sunni way of life all my life. I got pretty devout about 3 years ago. About the same time, I started researching the origins of Christianity and how the religion developed. It used to be my favorite topic of discussion. Used to talk about it with a lot of people. Anyways, mentioning this has a point which I will get to in a second.

Fast forward 2 years. I move away from home and am now at college. I start to look into the origins of Islam. I am shocked and literally horrified by the parrallels I saw between the development of Islam and Christianity. The development and influences of the hadith were very similar to those of the New Testament. At this point I start to re-examine my beliefs and Islam in general. I stumble upon this site and Aadid Safars book. Eye opening. Now I'm no expert in Arabic so I don't really know how accurate Safar is. Nevertheless much of what he says about the Kabaa make a lot of sense. I find it really hard to believe that Abraham would smash a bunch of idols and then go make his own. Why am I bowing down to a man made thing anyways?? At this point I stop bowing down towards Mecca.

Since then I've been trying to figure out exactly what Islam is. How much of what we have existed back in the day of the prophet and how does modern day Islam differ from the the Islam described by Allah. Recently my thoughts have been really back and forth.

-Quran tells us not to follow things blindly
-I followed the religion of my fathers almost blindly

-My practices such as Prayer come from non-Quranic sources
-Quran claims to be complete and a clear explanation for everything
-How could it have ommitted such an important subject

-Follow the Messenger
-The Messenger followed only what was inspired to him

Here are the big problems I have

-Historical records even from non-Muslim sources suggest that Muslims from very very early on used to practice Islam much like the Sunnis
-When I read the Quran I find a different Islam than the Sunni Islam

-Did the Messenger really set down the kind of Islam that has been practiced all these year? Early sources suggest that Islam has always been like this. How could people have strayed from the path of Allah so quickly??
-Christians strayed from the path within the first 50 years of Jesus crucifixion

-How could thousands of refrences about the things Muhammad did and say be false?
-The fact the the Messenger has been called Muhammad all these years might be a clue. Muhammad is used in the Quran only as a description of the Messenger. It is not his name. His name is Ahmed. This is the name that is fortold in the books of Christians, Jews and even Hindus. So if people have lost the name of the Messenger, such an important thing and basic thing, what else have they forgotten/picked up?!! The fact that we have forgotten his name is starttling!

-Theres no record of Mecca being a busy trade route like suggested by Islamic tradition

-Quran says that the maqam of Abraham is in Becca.
-Muslims say the maqam is the foot print of Abraham and Becca is Mecca
-The valley of Becca as its still known today is located in Israel
-Was Safar right when he said that maqam simply means status?
-Is the kabah really a sacred shrine or is it an ancient idol?
-How could early muslims have bowed down to an idol? Makes no sense. I would think that this was actually what the messenger used to do.
-Quran tells us not to bow down to anything
-Quran tells us to prostrate. Does this mean bowing toward Mecca

-Sunnis/Shiahs don't bow down to the Kabah, rather they bow in that direction. So thats not shirk or is it?
-To God belongs the east and west so why bow towards any direction
-According to tradition this verse refers to the point when the Prophet changed direction from Jerusalem to Mecca.
-Is this a true story? Don't know
-Quran says don't rely on baseless narrations

-How could so many records of the prophet praying in the way he did be wrong?
-New testament and refrences to Jesus

-Am I looking too much into this? Am I making things up? Am I being influenced by the wrong people?
-Quran says I should search for knowledge. Life is a stuggle. Best of people are those who see what is best and follow it. Truth stands clear from error
-Bowing down to the Kabah seems wrong

-Is Safar right about how certain words have been mistranlated?
-Early Islam was basically how it is today as pointed out by Frank
-Did people go astray so soon after the Messenger? Very hard to believe yet I look at the Christians and I see a very similar story

-Final judement should come from the Quran
-If I follow the Quran, I cannot be misguided
-If I misinterpret the Quran, I'm screwed when I meet Allah

-Interpret the Quran as it has been interpretted by scholars for more than a thousand years. Don't go against history
-And they will say ?Our Lord, we have obeyed our leaders and our LEARNED ONES, but they misled us from the path.? (3367)

-I really want to believe that what I have been taught since childhood is true
-Quran warns against such a mind set

-Rely on scholars
-Quran warns against that

-Bow down towards Mecca as Muslims have done since pretty much the start
-Not sure if this was added

I don't know what to believe. All I know is that I should judge by the Quran.
-If I follow tradition and end up being wrong, Allah might tell me that he warned me not to follow other narrarations(hadith)
-If I base my beliefs on the Quran and end up mistranslating it. Allah might tell me that I disobeyed the messenger and created my own ways

Its driving me crazy. Don't know whats right anymore.