HELP! My Parents have arranged for me to marry a Sunni
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Salaam,
You can actually see women in privacy to get to know them as per ayat 2235. I do agree with Khalil about the labeling thing. Some of us are apt to do so but I'd urge you to steer clear of such a course. Sunnis may be as diverse in what they believe and in what they do as we who take alquran as the sole source of law to Allah's system do.
Joe
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Peace Natu, and welcome,
To answer your first question
If you can marry Christians(55), then I would say it's a safe bet you can marry a Sunni.
But more importantly,
I can't even go to her before the wedding and talk to her
For yourself, for your future wife, and for the sake of your future children, do you think it's wise to commit the rest of your living life to someone whom you do not know, at all?
And to echo the thoughts of Khalil and Joe, labelling people is a bad idea. Only Allah knows what's in a person's heart. Leave the judgement to Him.
May peace be upon you,
Tay -
I WILL FEEL SORRY FOR THE SUNNI GIRL THAT IS GOING TO MARRY YOU. I WILL PRAY FOR HER AS SHE WILL BE RUINING HER LIFE WHEN MARRYING YOU.
YOU WATCH AND SEE GOD IS WATCHING YOUR EVERY MOVE. YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE PROVIDED WITH A CURSE WHICH WILL DESTROY YOU.
I WILL PRAY TO GOD YOU BECOME A TRUE MUSLIM NATU
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Peace.
Dear QSX, I have not been as active on this forum lately, so it?s good to come back and hear that you have read all of my posts! I would very much like to disregard the differences between us, and try to see where the problem lies, and go on from there. If you believe that hadith books are correct and that my approaches to the issues presented have been biased or unfair in anyway, then please forgive me for offending you and I will pray that the God helps the both of us. I strongly urge you to cooperate so that we may begin discussion in an appropriate section of the forum, so the truth is reached, whether it is me that changes or you.
If in the event that you do not wish to engage in constructive discussion with me, then feel free to read or participate in this forum in a just manner. If you still insist on insulting me or indeed anyone else on this forum, then I suggest you open a thread in the trash section just to release your anger, that way you will feel better, and these threads that are being used to search for the truth will remain free from your bad language.
I believe it should have become quite clear to you by now from posts that my brothers and sisters on this forum have directed towards you that it would be best if you made a significant improvement to your approach. I am in no way hindered by your insults, and In case you think I am going to find your remarks offensive in any way, then may I make it clear to you that this is most certainly not the case, and I?ll bring it to your attention that I have the ability to curse you to such an extent that your fingers will never dare type ?free-minds? on your keyboard again in your life, but I am taking a peaceful and civilised approach to you because unlike you I would hate to go out and insult a person new to me, and cursing someone for their views is not what the God advocates, nor is it what I stand for. I intend to make bonds, not break them, as you are out to do.
I hope you realise that I really do not approve of your floaty arguments without Quranic basis, which many would agree is what you are doing. For what you have said to me and about me so far, I forgive you and request that other forum members do so as well, so that you may begin a search for the truth, something everybody else on this forum is doing. I invite you to friendship and healthy discussion, but if you decide otherwise and continue your campaign against me, then the God is indeed witness of everything, and it will no doubt act accordingly. I shall say no more. May the God guide us all.
You said ?YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE PROVIDED WITH A CURSE WHICH WILL DESTROY YOU. I WILL PRAY TO GOD YOU BECOME A TRUE MUSLIM NATU? ? Bring it on, by the way, could you tell your curse of destruction to make an appointment with me before it comes, I?m a very busy man. And thanks for saying that you will pray for me, but I recognise the fact is that hypocrites like you can?t be bothered praying for yourselves let alone for somebody else.
Peace.
Natu on the line. -
lol
wait Sunni's are idol worshippers? shock
My my. I cant believe i've been a pagan All this time.cry
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I can say from having met quite a few people who were married by arrangement that in almost ALL of THOSE cases it worked out beautifully, BUT if you are talking major differences in religion, you may have a problem. Unfortunately, because your parents beliefs also differ from yours, I don't think there IS a pretty way to get around this. You can either wait it out, working the whole time to at least convince your parents that a better arrangement might be made for your sake and your beliefs, OR you are going to have wait a couple of years and go off on your own and risk the consequences of your family.
I certainly don't envy you.
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peace natu
have u made a decision on what you wanna do?
In my opinion, sunni-ism is idol-worship. Following laws not authorized by God is clearly idol-worship.
And my advice to you about the person who keeps haggling you is 'ignore'. That's the message I get from the Quran, to ignore those kinds of people. Let them call you names, let them do whatever they want. God is the judge, he is the knower of EVERYTHING. And he will infrom each one of us of everything we had done.
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Peace all,
For those who think ALL SUNNI?S ARE IDOL WORSHIPPERS and those who think, ?only they are right?.
- Have you not considered THOSE WHO ATTRIBUTE PURITY TO THEMSELVES? Nay, ALLAH PURIFIES WHOM HE PLEASES; and they shall not be wronged the husk of a date stone.
Natu wrote,
Im only a teenager but in my people they get all this wedding stuff done real quick, but I wanna know whether a true muslim guy like me can marry a sunny girl.And its just set up like this that I can't even go to her before the wedding and talk to her,LET ALONE TRY AND CONVERT HER TO ISLAM! Am I right in thinking that those of the sunni sect are idol worshippers by definition derived from ther Quran, and not just personal opinion. This is an important event in my life, and I don't wanna mess up. If she is an idolater then if God wills I will stand up for myself against my parents (who are also sunni by the way). Pleeeeease could somebody help me out here. Natu.
I am sorry to say but I find some comments in the statement, stereotype and extremely biased.
Your main concern seems to be, her belief. And by your statement I understand that you would eventually want to impose your own belief/understanding on her.Qsx wrote
I WILL FEEL SORRY FOR THE SUNNI GIRL THAT IS GOING TO MARRY YOU.
IF your main concern is her beliefs ONLY? Then I will most certainly agree with these comments.
My advice to you young man is not to get into a marriage you don?t want. Talk to your parents and try to convince them.
Your valid point is that the parents should allow you to talk to her. This is indeed VERY IMPORTANT.
I have a 19 year old and 17-year-old boys of my own; I would like to guide them, but will never ever force them into marriage against their will. It?s their life and they should be the one to choose their life partners.
I have a stepdaughter who recently got married to a Sunni guy; I allowed them to meet at our home, or go out for dinner so that they may be able to know/understand each other. Some of my family members didn?t like this, but no customs/traditions or belief is more important to me, then the happiness of my kids.Peace.
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Peace agentxxx and all. Quote; 'But no customs/traditions or belief is more important to me,than the happiness of my kids.'
This is exactly how i feel as well...I want my children to be happy,loving and rational...
ps; agentxxx; I know its not easy sometimes in traditional societies (like some parts of pakistan.), I respect your 'struggle' against harmful tradition,and i admire your open-mindedness and respectful attitude towards your childrens happiness...Our children are just like 'mini' adults,and they will be grown up before we know it... People like you can slowly turn society in pakistan,towards a more healthy beneficial nature... -
Peace,
I myself believe that a marriage can only be true, if the couple marries out of love. Almost never does a real love relationship come out of arranged marriages. You will get used to each other. This is no bases for marriage and will have bad influence on your kids, as they will not see how real love is. So i reccomd you NO, don't marry her, as she is not your choice. Then for a part you commit rape, as sex is only true, when both parties want it, not when one party ALLOWS it. Sorry if i sound a bit harsh, but i see this a lot around me, and i know this through experience. Marriage is a bond of love, not something simply arranged by your parents. That sounds more like a bussisness deal. Of course they say they mean it well, but if that is truly so, why then do they not listen or ask to your opinion?????? So it is not out of love for you, but out of love for tradition and their thinking they know better. This is arrogant and a crime to one of god's most beautifull gifts LOVE.
Also by mine understanding, love is required to start a marriage, as He says, He placed it already in your heart, trust me, i know a lot of arranged marriages where there is no love placed in them, so this has to be from the start
3021 Among His proofs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, in order to have tranquility and contentment with each other, and He placed in your hearts love and care towards your spouses. In this, there are sufficient proofs for people who think.
And marriage shopuld be by free choice
"And combine/marry/bring together off those among you who are single/solitary, and from the virtious/good/righteous among your male and female servants/subordinates/workers/believers. If they are poor/in need, then God will grant them from His grace. And God is Encompassing, Knowledgeable.
And let those who are not able to find a combination(match)/not able to marry, continue to be chaste until God enriches them of His Bounty. And if those (women) under your oath/authorization/guardianship seek marriage/rights, then marry them off/give them their rights if you find they are ready/deserve it, and give them from the wealth of God which he has bestowed on you. and don't compel/drive/force your daughters/your women/young women into something that goes beyond their just rights/them feeling injustice, if they wish/desire to structure their own 'palace'(life)/protect their own 'palace'(life).
Or
and don't compel your daughters/your young women/under your guardianship into something beyond their just rights/them feeling injustice, when they seek their own ways of strengthening their position.
Or
And don't compel your daughters/young women (in regards to their personal goals) beyond their just rights/them feeling injustice, when they seek their own independent ways of strengthening their personal position (in regards to their personal goals in life).In order that you make a gain in the goods/In order that you seek the gains of the immediate enjoyments (hayatud Dunya). God is the One who protects and provides/is the most merciful.(2432-33)
"Hayatud Dunya" has been presented to be so by Abu Fazl in his Urdu Dictionary in Urdu words as follows "Fawri Aaish", I have translated above the meaning given by Abu Fazl in Urdu to English to be "Immediate enjoyments".
God is the one who "covers them from the consequences of the plans" and "provides them", Ghafuur=
God is the one who "protects" and "provides" .Ghafuur even means "the one who protects" (Refer Gharibul Quran - Abu Fazl)(page.292). Raheem also means "the one who provides" (Refer Lughatul Quran and Gharibul Quran notes on "Rahma"So please, fight it, and find your love yourself. You are not to blame as you have not seen the woman.
Peace
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peace enquirer,
This is exactly how i feel as well...I want my children to be happy,loving and rational...
;D
I know its not easy sometimes in traditional societies (like some parts of pakistan.),
Unfortunately it?s MOST PARTS of Pakistan.
Fortunately things are changing specially in the urban areas and the credit goes to the electronic media.I respect your 'struggle' against harmful tradition,and i admire your open-mindedness and respectful attitude towards your childrens happiness...Our children are just like 'mini' adults,and they will be grown up before we know it... People like you can slowly turn society in Pakistan, towards a more healthy beneficial nature...
My wife and me were the victims of these harmful traditions/beliefs, and for the first few years we had to go through hell because of all this nonsense. So I have my own reasons to revolt against such man made traditions/customs and beliefs that shatter the dreams of the young hearts, and gives them tears and pain, instead of happiness and joy.
Peace.