Marriage and muslim women?
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Reve is a good boy and can also make good coffee !
I can make coffee milkshake. (500 calories)
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peace
Marriage in Islam
Is the Qur?nic prohibition of marriage to unbelievers applicable to all non-Muslims? More specifically are Muslim women only allowed to marry Muslim men? Perhaps not.
Firstly - the Qur'?n describes different types of people, there are for example
Believers
Believers before the time of the Prophet Muhammad (saw)
Surah al-I-Imran 352, 67Muslims
Surah al-Hajj 2278Faithful People of the Book
Surah al-Ma'idah 56; Surah al-Muddaththir 7431Those who believe in Allah (swt), the Last Day & do good deeds
Surah al-Baqarah 262; Surah al-Ma'idah 572Unbelievers
Unfaithful People of the Book
Surah al-Bayyinah 981, 6; Surah al-Hashr 592Hypocrites (those who called themselves Muslims but secretly disbelieve)
Surah al-Munafiqun 631; Surah al-Ahzab 331Unbelievers
Surah al-Fat'h 486;?Surah at-Tahrim 669; Surah al-Qasas 328If we understand Islam as more than one specific religious dispensation, instead the entire body of Allah's (swt) revelation to the cosmos, then we can say that there are those who are generically muslim who may not necessarily follow the specific shar?'ah as we know it from Prophet Muhammad (saw). The Qur'?n says that any (not just "Muslims" who believe in Allah (swt), believe in the concept of being held accountable for one's actions, and do good works "shall have their reward with their Lord; on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve" (S?rah al-Baqarah 262; S?rah al-Ma'idah 572).
The Qur'?n points to this idea of a 'meta-religion' in that it describes all of Allah's (swt) revelatory messages to humanity have been part of the one deen. Abraham (saw) was neither a "Jew" nor a "Christian" but one who submitted himself to Allah (swt).
In regard to marriage, the Qur'?n (S?rah al-Baqar?h 2221) says that Muslim men and women may not marry those of the second category - the unbelievers (al-mushrikaat & al-mushrikiin).
However the Qur'an does say that chaste women from the People of the Book are lawful.
Now there is a general principle that unless something is specifically negatively qualified for women (or simply doesn't make sense), laws are understood to be applicable for women as well as for men mutatis mutandis. In this case there is no negative qualifier for Muslim women against marrying men from the People of the Book.
Put another way the Qur'an does not say that Muslim women may not marry men from the People of the Book. (The verse about not marrying unbelieving men does not apply because that verse applies specifically to the category of al-mushrikiin.)
But even having said that, as long as person fits into the first broad category of 'believer' then he or she is halal for a Muslim or Muslimah. It is the unbelievers who are forbidden to both men and women.
So what is the definition of an "unbeliever"? The Qur'an paints a picture of a person in active rebellion against Allah (swt).
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They worship false gods
Surah al-Anbiyya 2198 -
Plot and plan against the Muslims
Surah al-Anfal 830 -
Spend their wealth hindering people from the path of Allah (swt)
Surah al-Anfal 836 -
Protect one another against the Muslims
Surah al-Anfal 873 -
Fight against the Muslims
Surah an-Nisa 4101-2 -
Dispute about the signs of Allah (swt)
Surah al-Mu'min 404 -
Detest the call of Allah (swt)
Surah al-Mu'min 4014 -
Ridicule the Prophet (saw)
Surah al-Anbiyya 2136 -
Regard the Qur'an as lies and sorcery
Surah al-Ahqaf 467; Surah Saba 3443 -
Scoff at the idea of the Hour
Surah Saba 343, 7; Surah at-Taghabun 647 -
Reject all of Allah's (swt) scripture
Surah Saba 3431 -
Dispute with vain arguments in order to weaken truth
Surah al-Kahf 1856 -
Revel in self-glory and separatism
Surah Suad 382 -
Discount the divine nature of revelation
Surah al-An'am 625 -
Persecute the Prophets (saw)
Surah Ibrahim 1413 -
Persist in rejecting truth
Surah al-Buruj 8519 -
Deny spiritual existence - the Hereafter
Surah Qaf 502, 12; Surah an-Naml 2767
However even if a Muslim woman is married to a mushrik, then she is not required to divorce him as evidenced by the situation regarding the Prophet's (saw) daughter Zaynab who was married to an unbeliever who fought against the Muslims at the Battle of Badr. Whilst the Prophet (saw) asked that Zaynab return to Medina, the marriage was not dissolved and when the husband did finally accept Islam they resumed cohabitation.
The Qur'an narrates the principle that it is not fitting to be married to a person who is in active rebellion and hatred towards the Beloved Creator ? whether they are wife or husband, male or female is beside the point.
Secondly, the overarching principle of the Qur'an is the equality of women and men. Recognising however that in some cultures full equality is unachievable (as in 7th century Arabia) the Qur'an then provides a certain number of laws that provide a pattern in situations where women cannot achieve full equality (and thus are dependent on their husbands). This is similar to the concept that the spirit of the Qur'an preaches abolition of slavery but recognises and provides for those cultures which cannot achieve abolition straight away.
If a Muslim woman is in a situation where she can achieve equality then she can stipulate this in her marriage contract. As such she no longer is required to be dependent on her husband and can claim full equal rights.
And Allah (swt) knows best.(Taken from www.crescentlife.com, website offline)
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I am not a fan of fatwas, but I find this one very interesting. He explains how he arrives at his conclusions and leaves the questioner free to make up her own mind based on the arguments he presents.
On Christian Men marrying Muslim Women
As-Salaam-Alaikum
I don't mean to bother you but this is disturbing my mind and I need an educated explanation.
I was at a Muslim Sister's Fashion Show (predominately African American sisters) when during casual conversation a young sister (mid 20s) stated that her husband is Christian. This as you can image created quite a stir. She was immediately verbally attacked. She tried to defend herself by saying that he did not prohibit her from practicing Islam and he has agreed that the children will be Muslim. She was advised to divorce him.
I don't know if they were married and she converted or if she was already Muslim when they married. She was under such a heavy attack that I could not get that question in. However this issue is one that I need to understand because I can't adequately explain why there is a prohibition for the Muslim female in marrying from the people of the book and there is no prohibition for the Muslim male. More often than not I hear all non Muslims classified as kufar.
The only explanation I can provide is that the Quran specifies that the male can marry a Christian or Jewish woman. Since he is the head of the household the expectation is that he will respect her rights and the children will take his religion. Really in actuality from what I've seen this is not the case. The woman has so much pressure put on her to abandon her beliefs that she eventually gives in or gets out of the marriage.
I have been asked does the Quran specifically prohibit the Muslim woman from marrying a Christian or Jewish male. My understanding is the only specific prohibition is for polytheist. Am I wrong?
This is a big issue for African Americans especially because of the rate of conversion. There are instances where the husband converts and the wife does not. This is not seen as a problem. However there are instances where the wife converts and the husband does not. It doesn't matter whether they have been together 2 years or 20 years, the advice the sister receives is to divorce him.
Then there are the cases of sisters whose preference is to marry within their race but there are not enough suitable African American Muslim men at least in this city. They resign themselves to being celibate forever.
When I say suitable African American Muslim men, I mean those who are knowledgeable about the Deen and truly strive to practice it, those who have truly accepted the role and responsibilities of the Muslim male and do not demand that the woman provide more financially for them than they provide for her, those who are not extremist, those who have not been married and divorced 3, 4 or 5 times with children all over the place, those who are not trying to have several wives when they can't afford to take care of one, etc. This is airing dirty laundry but so be it, this is our harsh reality.
Al-salamu 'alaykum sister
First I should apologize for the long time it has taken me to respond to your message. As you might have heard, I have been rather ill. But on a happier note, recently we were blessed with a wonderful baby boy.
But I should confess that there is another reason for the delay. This is a difficult issue to deal with. I did receive a large number of inquiries about this same issue, and I have tended to avoid responding to them because I am not exactly very excited about handling this weighty and serious problem.
Surprising to me, all schools of thought prohibited a Muslim woman from marrying a man who is a kitabi (among the people of the book). I am not aware of a single dissenting opinion on this, which is rather unusual for Islamic jurisprudence because Muslim jurists often disagreed on many issues, but this is not one of them.
All jurists agreed that a Muslim man or woman may not marry a mushrik . However, because of al-Ma'ida verse 5, there is an exception in the case of a Muslim man marrying a kitabiyya. There is no express prohibition in the Qur'an or elsewhere about a Muslim woman marrying a kitabi. However, the jurists argued that since express permission was given to men, by implication women must be prohibited from doing the same. The argument goes If men needed to be given express permission to marry a kitabiyya, women needed to be given express permission as well, but since they were not given any such permission then they must be barred from marrying a kitabi.
The justification for this rule was two-fold 1) Technically, children are given the religion of their father, and so legally speaking, the offspring of a union between a Muslim male and a kitabiyya would still be Muslim; 2) It was argued that Muslim men are Islamically prohibited from forcing their wives to become Muslim. Religious coercion is prohibited in Islam. However, in Christianity and Judaism a similar prohibition against coercion does not exist. According to their own religious law, Muslim jurists argued, Christian men may force their Muslim wives to convert to their (the husbands' religion. Put differently, it was argued, Islam recognizes Christianity and Judaism as valid religions, but Judaism and Christianity do not recognize the validity of Islam as a religion. Since it was assumed that the man is the stronger party in a marriage, it was argued that Christian and Jewish men will be able to compel their Muslim wives to abandon Islam. (If a Muslim man would do the same, he would be violating Islamic law and committing a grave sin).
Importantly, the Hanafi, Maliki, and Shafi'i jurists held that it is reprehensible (makruh) for Muslim men to marry a kitabiyya if they live in non-Muslim countries. They argued that in non-Muslim countries, mothers will be able to influence the children the most. Therefore, there is a high likelihood that the children will not grow up to be good Muslims unless both parents are Muslim. Some jurists even went as far as saying that Muslim men are prohibited from marrying a kitabiyya if they live in non-Muslim countries.
This is the law as it exists or the legal legacy as we inherited it. In all honesty, personally, I am not convinced that the evidence prohibiting Muslim women from marrying a kitabi is very strong. Muslim jurists took a very strong position on this matter--many of them going as far as saying if a Muslim woman marries a kitabi she is as good as an apostate. I think, and God knows best, that this position is not reasonable and the evidence supporting it is not very strong. However, I must confess that in my humble opinion, I strongly sympathize with the jurists that argued that in non-Muslim countries it is reprehensible (makruh) for a Muslim to marry a non-Muslim. God knows best--I have reached this position after observing that the children of these Muslim/non-Muslim marriages in most cases do not grow up with a strong sense of their Islamic identity. It seems to me that in countries like the U.S. it is best for the children if they grow up with a Muslim father and mother. I am not comfortable telling a Muslim woman marrying a kitabi that she is committing a grave sin and that she must terminate her marriage immediately. I do tell such a woman that she should know that by being married to a kitabi that she is acting against the weight of the consensus; I tell her what the evidence is; and then I tell her my own ijtihad on the matter (that it is makruh for both men and women in non-Muslim countries). After telling her all of this, I add that she must always remember that only God knows best; that she should reflect on the matter as hard as she can; then she should pray and plead for guidance from God; and then ultimately she must do what her conscience dictates.
I hope this response helps answer your question. I pray to God to guide us both to what He pleases and wants, and that He helps the sister you wrote me about to find peace and tranquility with whatever decision she makes. God is the best guide and mentor--may He forgive our sins and bless us with His Compassion and Mercy.
With my sincere regards,
Shaykh Khaled Abou El Fadl
http//www.scholarofthehouse.org/oninma.html
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RA786, may I suggest we discuss the issue further in the already existing thread on the subject? Imho it is more useful to have all arguments collected in a single discussion, rather than scattered throughout various ones.
If it's ok with you, I will address your arguments there.
peace
I think you misread my post. I haven't said all Christians and all Jews will go to paradise.
A possible answer as to which ones is contained in the verse I quoted.
But I think we are digressing. Whether only Muslims will go to paradise or believers of other religions as well was not the issue. I can see why you think it is related to inter-religious relationships, but it has been discussed previously and I feel it's leading away from the subject at hand.
peace Lenya,
What Christians are we talking about? General? Most? All? this is all very important.
I think the easiest way to Divide the groups is by Rightpath and Wrong Path.
Those on the "Rightpath"
-Believe in Allah Alone (without partners or sub-gods) I.e. Tawheed.
-Live a Righteous lifestyle -how? (by following the Books of Allah
-Believe either in No God, Sub-gods, or they Do believe in Allah however attribute partners/limitations/incompetent concepts to Allah.
-Live a Non-righteous life or partly righteous life as they would either Follow NONE of Allah's Messages, or only part of Allah's Messages (not in entirety)
Example Someone who would Claim to be Vegetarian....yet is constantly seen eating Animal Flesh.Most Christians, (i.e. Followers of Modern-day CaucasianJesus/Mary, Shirk Christianity) Only Believe in Part of the Religions Text, and follow only a portion or a distorted portion. Most of these Christians believe the Only way to Salvation and Happiness is through Jesus Christ the Sub-god Son.
Other Groups of Christians believe Jesus is the Incarnate Son of God.
How can a Muslim have a Successful relationship with a Wife who believes in the Above, When in the Quran Allah Specifically says He neither Begets nor is Begotten and has NOT made himself a Child (Son)?
-The Husband and Wife would almost always disagree and argue about this Issue here.Ending Thought Why would Anybody in there right mind Marry someone of a Different Faith? Especially when these contrary beliefs are so Important?
Jews Who Follow the Torah, Believe in Allah Alone, and do not attribute Lies to Allah are Compatible with Muslims for Marriage.
Followers of Isa Bin Maryum (Christians) who believe in Allah Alone and Do NOT attribute Lies or Jesus to Allah are Compatible with Muslims for Marriage.
HOWEVER this is the Criteria.
and then being Jew and Christian IMHO becomes Redundant because they might as well just become Muslim as their current Religious Texts will Simply point them into the Quran. (But that is just a personal opinion of mine.)Case and Point- A Polytheist or Shirk Follower should not marry a Muslim as this is may create problems.
Rather, a Non-Shirk Follower should Marry a Non-Shirk Follower (be he Christian, Jew or Muslim)Shirk is the major Key aspect in showing whether these two are compatible.
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Mushrikeen deny committing shrik. How do you know that 'muslims' aren't committing shrik? What's your criteria?
Well, I didnt get into the Muslim Discussion...I think there is alot of information already known and out there. They are not very different from the Generalized Jews and Christians in the shirk department.
I have already stated the Criteria....Again here it is "Not Worshiping another God besides Allah, Nor Attributing Partners to Allah".
Generalized Muslims have Added Muhammad as a Partner to Allah...and this could also cause a great problem in a Marriage to one.Are you seriously asking me?
Personally I think Shirk is placing anything above Allah. If we do, we repent and try to change our ways.
However, How do you marry someone who doesnt change their ways?
and also...How Can you even Accept that as being a good thing? -
RA786, when I said muslims, I wasn't referring to traditionalists, sunnis, shias, etc. Do you categorize yourself as a muslim?
Again here it is "Not Worshiping another God besides Allah, Nor Attributing Partners to Allah".
Yes, I know. But if you look at 622-24 carefully you'll find that these people swear by God, in front of him, that they were NOT idol worshippers. They UNKNOWINGLY committed shrik, another words. They too thought they were 'worshipping' God alone. How do you know that "quranists" or "god aloners" aren't in the same realm?
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RA786, when I said muslims, I wasn't referring to traditionalists, sunnis, shias, etc. Do you categorize yourself as a muslim?
Yes, I know. But if you look at 622-24 carefully you'll find that these people swear by God, in front of him, that they were NOT idol worshippers. They UNKNOWINGLY committed shrik, another words. They too thought they were 'worshipping' God alone. How do you know that "quranists" or "god aloners" aren't in the same realm?
Will they be Punished for Crimes they Unknowingly committed? I thought Allah Punishes/Rewards those for their Intention/Conscious Mental Capacity
According to Man Ignorantia Juris Non Exusant......IE. "Ignorance to the Law Excuses NO ONE!"
According to Religion You will be judged by your Intention/Mental Capacity.
If one does a Sin Unknowingly, it would seem to me that Allah would probabily pardon him...however would punish him if it was an INTENTIONAL Sin.Shirk is bad. So... was it intentional Shirk or Unintentional Shirk....Allah Knows All.
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