Is my marriage void now?
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I am Canadian Christian i met a man online in 2002 and, in 2003 i went to Pakistan to meet him. He asked me for marriage and, since he was the same man i met online i agreed but, the day of the Nikah was not normal him & his Brothers took me to a Masjid and, had me repeat after the Iman and, it was in Urdu so i didnt know what i said but, after it all everyone was congratulating me on being now a Muslim so i was in shock anyhow then 2 men came to my hotel room and, his friends ,Brothers all come in and, i find myself what i thought was a wedding but, i sat on the bed and, he read the entire thing in Urdu next thing i know we are married.
I came back to Canada it took 2 years for him to come because, the immigration said its fake marriage so i got a Lawyer and, $10,000 later he was here in Canada in 2005.
He lived with my for 2 years in that time most of the time he slept on the couch.
I was asleep one night in 2007 and, i awoke to him standing over me i had so much pain in my face he had beat me when i was asleep & drugged me my blood work at the hospital was loaded with sleeping medication and, pain killers ( i have Multiple SClerosis) and, my illness requires these medications in small amounts so he drug me before he beat me.. The night before he said " i divorce you" 3 times to my face because, he wanted to go back to Pakistan for the marriage of his Brother but, i said we were to go back together he said " no not this time" ( just before this 4 months he had brain surgery and, i found in his luggage a love letter from a girl and, 2 pics of her holding a baby i had the letter translated it said i love you always and, when u come back to pak i will come to Canada with you) he lied to me and, said he didnt know her after one night of drinking he said yeah he lead her to beleive he would marry her!!
I have not seen or heard of him in one year i dont know if he is in Canada or Pakistan i am guessing he is in Canada because, thats what he wanted from me.
Now my question is... am i still married to him? was i ever married to him? what do i do to get the divorce legally done so i am away from this man forever?
Is a Nikah a legal binding in Canada?and, what do i do or did he divorce me by repeating 3 times " i divorce you?Thank you in advance for anyones help.
Karenj -
I dont know if anyone replied to my Question because, i dont see anything on here is it maybe just because, i am a Christian or is it because, the Muslim beat me?
I would like some answers from a educated Muslim who knows the Quran and, what the Quran says about Nikah and, Marriage being 2 different things. My Nikah was never registered in Canada they said it can not be and, i called Pakistan they said the same " no marriage that day or even year to a Canadian"
I need to know if i need to get paper work done in Pakistan to make this a viod Nikah i cant serve him divorce papers here in Canada because, they say i am not married in Canada??? answers anyone? anyone? peace -
Salaam sister karen,
I assure you that no replies has nothing to do with your being christian or beaten. You are asking for educated muslims for this particular topic. Maybe those persons have not read this post yet.
You said it took 2 years and an attorney to bring him from Pakistan to Canada. How was he able to immigrate to Canada if they don't even recognize the marriage? To me this is very strange.
I also married a Pakistani man (in Pakistan). The papers and ceremony were in urdu, with complete english translations (written and verbal). It was registered in Lahore and also the American embassy in Islamabad. Our marriage papers have been accepted for many things in the United States. Of course we have 2 copies that are certified, one in urdu and one in english.
It seems the man you are talking about could have made the plan from the start to...
- marry you just to get immigration to Canada, then
- divorce you, and
- file immigration himself to bring a Pakistani girl to Canada and live with him there.
I don't know if he really ever was/is your husband. I don't see how it can be binding when you didn't even know what you were saying.
Inshallah, other people will post here and give you helpful information.
Peace,
dotty -
salam karenj. because the quran says, rajal are the protectors of nisa, that a nisa must obey her rajal, that a rajal has a degree over the nisa, the closest relationship to western law, is that a nikah is a conservatorship or guardianship. what adds to the confusion is your use of terms. you have a belief that a nikah is a marriage, and that you were husband and wife. as a result all your questions are phrased in marriage, husband, and wife terms, which creates confusion. you know you had a nikah and not a marriage.
however, because the elements of a nikah are not understood in western countries, and most muslims are unaware of the intricacies of law, some western countries sometimes conclude a nikah could be a marriage. muslims who have been influenced by western colonial powers, and the attempts by those colonial power to impose their laws, add to the confusion not knowing that a nikah and marriage is not the same.
looking at your situation, it is clear your rajal has not completed the requirements of the quran regarding talaq. the mandatory arbitration, the waiting period, none of these appear to have been completed. what adds to the confusion is you have muliple sclerosis, and are on high doses of medication. reading through the rest of your post, there is an apparent contradiction, you state you have mutliple sclerosis for which you require medication, on the other hand you claim he drugged you, and i am aware multiple sclerosis causes blackouts and injuries. multiple sclerosis, being the breakdown of the myelin sheath of the nerves, causes various symptoms, rendering the person affected physically, including cognitive function breakdowns.
canada, the united kingdom, pakistan, and the united states, all share some elements of law. their civil laws are based in the english common law system, and this influences most of their legal decisions. pakistani lawyers are often graduates of english law schools. decisions of the uk courts are quite often admissible as valid law in pakistan and the united states.
these jurisdictions share a common "law of the place" rule. in other words, if you were "married" in pakistan, and your nikah was valid under pakistani law, then canada will recognize your nikah as valid under canadian law. your rajal's stating talaq three times may or may not be valid, i tend to lean towards it being invalid, as failing to meet the mandatory waiting periods required by the quran.
the issues then become, were you married? were you divorced? does canadian law find you legally married? does canadian law find you legally divorced? would you be found legally guilty of bigamy under canadian law if you married anyone else? are you medically impaired to the degree neccesary to have the court appoint a guardian or conservator? is your rajal a guardian or conservator under canadian law? if your rajal is found to be a legally valid conservator, he could exercise the authority of a conservator and obtain a court order fixing your residence.
even if a canadian court, finds no marriage, or issues a decree of divorce, there remains the issue that under muslim law you may still be his nisa and not having a talaq because he did not talaq you properly. evaluating these issues is very troublesome because of the confusion the terms marriage, husband, wife, nikah, talaq, rajal, and nisa create.
pakistan cannot void a nikah, as the authority to issue a talaq does not vest in pakistan, it vests in the rajal. a nikah can be recorded in canada. if he asserts a valid nikah in canada he could prevail in court. canada does recognize the nikah. you may or may not be able to file in a canadian court, he could file in a pakistani court and get a judgment.
i have to say at this point, because i have heard your recitation of the facts, and have not heard his recitation of the facts, i am reluctant to provide you with an opinion.
allah is the best of those who judge.
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Peace karenj,
i guess a solution for you is to find help in canada. Consult either a specialized laywer or go see a centre for women's right, they should have people that could advise you.
This forum is quite specific, as we are not "mainstream" muslim and opinions vary a lot.
What you care about now, if i got that right, are the legal aspects implied and you'll not get a clear answer here.
lk
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I am Canadian Christian i met a man online in 2002 and, in 2003 i went to Pakistan to meet him. He asked me for marriage and, since he was the same man i met online i agreed but, the day of the Nikah was not normal him & his Brothers took me to a Masjid and, had me repeat after the Iman and, it was in Urdu so i didnt know what i said but, after it all everyone was congratulating me on being now a Muslim so i was in shock anyhow then 2 men came to my hotel room and, his friends ,Brothers all come in and, i find myself what i thought was a wedding but, i sat on the bed and, he read the entire thing in Urdu next thing i know we are married.
did you sign any paperwork with regards to this marriage in pakistan? if so do you have it/copies to take to a lawyer to find out where you stand?
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I came back to Canada it took 2 years for him to come because, the immigration said its fake marriage so i got a Lawyer and, $10,000 later he was here in Canada in 2005.
The papers she presented to get him visa are not fake that is called NIKah nama in Urdu or marriage contract,
written and sign by the clergy man and two witnesses approved by Nazim as required for such cases like visa passport etc and approved by foreign office.And that is her proof off Nikah but if she approach sunni centres like sujested by ilk or sunni mosque then & The will tell her your Talaq is valid wait for 4 months and god bless you.
peace
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Peace sister,
You said you haven't seen or heard of him over a year!? If that is the case, you are already divorced from him and especially if you really want so.
Otherwise if you still would have wanted him you could of course wait and claim that your intention wasn't a divorce.But believe me sister if you and your so called ex haven't have sexual relationship and not even heard from eachother then automatically you can see it as a valid divorce even if no words have says so from him.
Take care,
Maria
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Hello sister Karenj,
I felt very sorry to read your story.
I believe, if your ex-husband is decided to divorce you and after that you have completed the iddat i.e., for 4 months, you are already got a valid divorce, InshaAllah.
Please read the quoted verses from AlQuraan carefully to understand in detail.
2226 Those who forswear their wives must wait four months; then, if they change their mind, lo! Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.
Lillatheena yuloona min nisaihim tarabbusu arbaAAati ashhurin fain faoo fainna Allaha ghafoorun raheemun
(2226)
2227 And if they decide upon divorce Allah is Hearer, Knower.
Wain AAazamoo alttalaqa fainna Allaha sameeAAun AAaleemun
(2227)
2228 Women who are divorced shall wait, keeping themselves apart, three courses. And it is not lawful for them that they should conceal that which Allah hath created in their wombs if they are believers in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands would do better to take them back in that case if they desire a reconciliation. And they have rights similar to those over them in kindness, and men are a degree above them. Allah is Mighty, Wise.
Waalmutallaqatu yatarabbasna bianfusihinna thalathata qurooin wala yahillu lahunna an yaktumna ma khalaqa Allahu fee arhamihinna in kunna yuminna biAllahi waalyawmi alakhiri wabuAAoolatuhunna ahaqqu biraddihinna fee thalika in aradoo islahan walahunna mithlu allathee AAalayhinna bialmaAAroofi walilrrijali AAalayhinna darajatun waAllahu AAazeezun hakeemun
(222
2229 Divorce must be pronounced twice and then must be retained in honor or released in kindness. And it is not lawful for you that ye take from women aught of that which ye have given them; except when both fear that they may not be able to keep within the limits Allah. And if ye fear that they may not be able to keep the limits of Allah, in that case it is no sin for either of them if the woman ransom herself. These are the limits Allah. Transgress them not. For whoso transgresseth Allah's limits such are wrongdoers.
Alttalaqu marratani faimsakun bimaAAroofin aw tasreehun biihsanin wala yahillu lakum an takhuthoo mimma ataytumoohunna shayan illa an yakhafa alla yuqeema hudooda Allahi fain khiftum alla yuqeema hudooda Allahi fala junaha AAalayhima feema iftadat bihi tilka hudoodu Allahi fala taAAtadooha waman yataAAadda hudooda Allahi faolaika humu alththalimoona
(2229)
2230 And if he hath divorced her, then she is not lawful unto him thereafter until she hath wedded another husband. Then if he divorce her it is no sin for both of them that they come together again if they consider that they are able to observe the limits of Allah. These are the limits of Allah. He manifesteth them for people who have knowledge.
Fain tallaqaha fala tahillu lahu min baAAdu hatta tankiha zawjan ghayrahu fain tallaqaha fala junaha AAalayhima an yatarajaAAa in thanna an yuqeema hudooda Allahi watilka hudoodu Allahi yubayyinuha liqawmin yaAAlamoona
(2230)
2231 When ye have divorced women, and they have reached their term, then retain them in kindness or release them in kindness. Retain them not to their hurt so that ye transgress. He who doeth that hath wronged his soul. Make not the revelations of Allah a laughingstock, but remember Allah's grace upon you and that which He hath revealed unto you of the Scripture and of wisdom, whereby He doth exhort you. Observe your duty to Allah and know that Allah is Aware of all things.
Waitha tallaqtumu alnnisaa fabalaghna ajalahunna faamsikoohunna bimaAAroofin aw sarrihoohunna bimaAAroofin wala tumsikoohunna diraran litaAAtadoo waman yafAAal thalika faqad thalama nafsahu wala tattakhithoo ayati Allahi huzuwan waothkuroo niAAmata Allahi AAalaykum wama anzala AAalaykum mina alkitabi waalhikmati yaAAithukum bihi waittaqoo Allaha waiAAlamoo anna Allaha bikulli shayin AAaleemun
(2231)
2232 And when ye have divorced women and they reach their term, place not difficulties in the way of their marrying their husbands if it is agreed between them in kindness. This is an admonition for him among you who believeth in Allah and the Last Day. That is more virtuous for you, and cleaner. Allah knoweth ye know not.
Waitha tallaqtumu alnnisaa fabalaghna ajalahunna fala taAAduloohunna an yankihna azwajahunna itha taradaw baynahum bialmaAAroofi thalika yooAAathu bihi man kana minkum yuminu biAllahi waalyawmi alakhiri thalikum azka lakum waatharu waAllahu yaAAlamu waantum la taAAlamoona
(2232)
I hope it is helpful to you.
I suggest you to ask Allah to help you make things easy and guide you towards the correct path.
May Allah help you in all your problems and guide you towards that path that He has chosen for us. pr
Regards,
mmKhan -
Jankren i dont think you know much about really loving someone! i was not looking for a man anywhere even if i am Canadain i beleive Love find you ...you dont find love and, you cant pick who its going to be i took a shot at love and, i was wrong to trust him. I have now seen him now in 2 1/2 years. Thank you from everyone else who have been so kind , thoughtful and, Godly God bless you. The negative comments come from people who are uneduacted and, maybe a bit jelouse. Yes i have MS and, it does not make you black out that is so wrong. Its a central nervous system disease that effcts my body not my brain for Gods sake.
Time to move on.
Karenj -
Jankren i dont think you know much about really loving someone! i was not looking for a man anywhere even if i am Canadain i beleive Love find you ...you dont find love and, you cant pick who its going to be i took a shot at love and, i was wrong to trust him. I have now seen him now in 2 1/2 years. Thank you from everyone else who have been so kind , thoughtful and, Godly God bless you. The negative comments come from people who are uneduacted and, maybe a bit jelouse. Yes i have MS and, it does not make you black out that is so wrong. Its a central nervous system disease that effcts my body not my brain for Gods sake.
Time to move on.
KarenjPeace Karen
Welcome back to the forum. I hope that everything is ok now and that you are happy ) -
i only read your story today.. that is so unjust and totally unislamic S
It wouldn't matter what you uttered in what language/s God takes what's in our hearts
2225 (Asad) God will not take you to task for oaths which you may have uttered without thought, but will take you to task for what your hearts have conceived for God is much-forgiving, forbearing.
Sometimes things like that happen here.. People report them to the immigration department and get them deported back where they came from.. depends on the seriousness and validity of it all..
I hope things are better for you now )
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Sounds like you got involved with a crazy person.
In my opinion - no - you were not married. I'm pretty sure you or your parents have to agree. You can't just kidnap anyone tell them to utter words they don't understand and then boom you have to live together.
Also you have to say the things he told you to say from the heart for you to become a muslim. You can't trick anyone into submission.
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Peace karenJ
You wrote this in 2008. it is now 2010.
if you dont mind me asking....whats new? have you gotten the problem resolved? have you moved on? or do you feel justice has now been served?
I wish you the best and hope that justice will be served. It is not right for any Human to endure suffering of any type.
I pray that you find a loving man to satisfy your needs so you two can dwell in tranqulity and that your problem can be resolved.So far is it resolved?
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Selam Sister
Sorry to hear what happened to you. I have heard of such cases many times and it has also happened to people close to me. A marrage is a contract which should be done according to the country you are residing in. This is simply because it protects your rights. I do not feel this mans intentions were sincere and his only wish was to marry your passport, unfortunatly. Also, let this be a warning to other readers who may still be in a position to turn back. As for not hearing from him in years, just count your blessings and hope you wont have to hear from him again. You should be pleased that he is out of your life. Hope everything works out for you.
Peace