The Myth that Women have to "Obey" their Husbands
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Good words,huruf..this is how I understand it too..this "heading" issue doesn
t seem to fit the marriage of two capable persons,equal in rights.. This issue of "whos the head?" has lead some to give biased interpretations to the scripture and others to say "man is the head of the family,but women can also be heads of their nations and countries.."Peace,
Salaam
Wife and husband are like the two wheels of a cart who need to support and co-ordinate with each other to make a smooth journey for their family. This absured idea that like; In an organization some one has to be head, CEO, MD, similarly in a Family there must be a head for smooth functioning is not based on reality; companies are mis-managed and go bust by the minute in case they have not heard.
peace
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Salaam
Wife and husband are like the two wheels of a cart who need to support and co-ordinate with each other to make a smooth journey for their family. This absured idea that like; In an organization some one has to be head, CEO, MD, similarly in a Family there must be a head for smooth functioning is not based on reality; companies are mis-managed and go bust by the minute in case they have not heard.
peace
sun I very much agree with you farida,actually the world now is working to get rid of the concept "competition" to turn it into "cooperation" handshake,and that
s another step on the ladder of human progress... I see that verse 432"And do not envy what God has favored some of you over others. For the men is a portion of what they gained, and for the women is a portion of what they gained. And ask God from His favor, God is knowledgeable over all things." is simply asserting the relativity of each individuals abilities and Gods provisions upon them,and no gender should claim to possess certain qualities and see that the other is deprived from them...each individual gains education and experiences that shape their personality and qualify them for certain jobs and missions-that shouldnt be imposed or predetermined-so if a woman reaches a high position and gain better money her husband shouldnt be jealous or envious but rather he believes in his woman and believes that it was Gods gift and provision for her..and the same for women..and it applies for the whole community to get the people rid of negative feelings like jealousy and teaches them to thank god and be grateful for what they have,and to ask him from his favors instead of wishing to see people deprived or lower than them..God is the knowledgeable...
Thank you farida.. peace -
After going through women's posts in this thread, I understand as to why did God declare Rijjal as head of the family.
(By the way there couldn't be a better explaination than Ghamdi's , posted by Raja and moreover, I appreciate that Raja had the integrity to declare it as Ghamdi's)
Jaa!!! and ask your Javed Ahmed Ghamidi sahib to help you prepare a reply for your next post.
farida,
This was very arrogant and rude, Not expected of you.
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Salaam Siki,
and Thanks!farida
Salaam,
What do you mean by "one of them"? Do you mean those learned women who can detect misleading interpretations of the Qur'an and are not leaning on men/mullah/Javed Ahmed Ghamidi sahib to explain the Qur'an to them?If you call yourself learned then I doubt the credibility of the school in which you ever went to.
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Not want to learn, share and discuss but want to debate, Ok Fari
See your own reflection there, It's you who is unwilling to learn and share, sister Hurufs excellent and unbiased interpretation of you simply ignored it because in your immature manner you refuse to acknowledge what Allah says in the Qur'an, like Brahmin Hindus you would rather take the twisted version to make you feel superior about yourself as the preferred gender.
6139. They say "What is in the wombs of such and such cattle is specially reserved for our men, and forbidden to our women; but if it is still-born, then all have share therein. For their attribution (to Allah), He will soon punish them for He is full of wisdom and knowledge.don't try to drag others in this. Let us see how "learned" you are on your own??
farida
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We discuss it in deatail! in my next post
Jaa!!! and ask your Javed Ahmed Ghamidi sahib to help you prepare a reply for your next post.
NO! I have no desire to debate with those who do not have even have the manners to address women properly. Ok
May Allah help you to increase your knowledge for your own benefit.Ignorance is tolerable but arrogance is not, you are an ignorant arrogant, dangerous for your husband and family, I am sure my sixth sense tells me if you were married you are divorced now and if you are not married yet may Allah help you!
See I went to Ghamidi sahib, and he told me "whenever you want to convey the message of Quran to some one be polite, most of the women in our society are not happy with men, because of the treatment of women by men against the teachings of Quran and Islamic shariah. Never mind whatever she calls me or thinks about me, her attributes are with her and mine with me; but we have a job to convey, the understanding of Quran.
farida
NO! I have no desire to debate with those who do not have even have the manners to address women properly. Ok
Oh! so women are something special or are they superior to man or inferior to man?
because if they are equal to man than a "learned" person like you would had not written that "...... who do not have even the manners to address women properly".It is not over yet.
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Yes farida, only men are allowed to be arrogant and rude !
Absolutely!!!
Siki conveniently ignored the sstatement of Ra-jah, who started the insults. Siki lives in Pakistan and knows very well that remark "Ok Fari " was derogatory, yet he encourged Ra-jah to post an even ruder reply to me.
How small minded to be bickring like this and then go on to claim we have a job to convey, the understanding of Quran.
Siki has been appreciative of brother Anwar's post in which being Qwamoon was very well explained and he needs to apply it in practice.
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Dear sister farida.
I don't think Fari is derogatory, out here names like Farida , Farhat , Farhana etc are shortened affectionately to Fari, and you know it very well , and i am quite sure that most of your dear and close ones must be addressing you such, exactly as my name Sikandar is shortened to siki and that's perfectly OK.
But Rajah!
Remember,
You cant take any such liberties , when you are daggers drawn with anyone, specially a woman , and particularly with an intelligent one.
siki
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Siki has been appreciative of brother Anwar's post in which being Qwamoon was very well explained and he needs to apply it in practice.
Peace,
I hope the 'he' doesn't refer to me. I don't remember arguing with anyone here and I have been inactive for a few days now.
Godbless,
Anwar -
Salaam.
Well Siki,
as a young women,I am very happy to find these strong voices of females,here.Learned females,that answer,with knowledge and respect.I have a lot to learn.
Did you see the grand mufti,of Saudia,saying 15 of january,in an lecture,that to marry girls from they are ten,is good,and proper,and that a good upbringing,will make a girl capable,to carry out her duties as a wife!
A wife tried trough court,to file for divorce,on her ten year old daughter,that the father married away to a man 50 year old.The court said of course that a wife have no right,not a mother either,and that the girl,could herself filed for divorce,when she reached puberty!
In muslim countries,this is what you called obedience Siki.
How you men,think,when you look at this world,that it is fair and right,that men rule women and that marrige means obediance,I can not understand.
And it is from this disturbed images of women and their duties,from hadith and translations from the Quran,that makes you hold on to it.
I can only say,dream on,Siki.
The other one,that said some very rude words,to Farida,is not even worth mentioning yuck
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Peace,
I hope the 'he' doesn't refer to me. I don't remember arguing with anyone here and I have been inactive for a few days now.
Godbless,
AnwarSalaam brother Anwar
I was not going to participate in the bickering on this issue, this is too demeaning, I now logged in just to let you know that the 'he' did not refer to you but to Siki.
I would be looking forward to your unbiased and just contribution though, keep up the good work. handshake
peace
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Dear sister farida.
I don't think Fari is derogatory, out here names like Farida , Farhat , Farhana etc are shortened affectionately to Fari, and you know it very well , and i am quite sure that most of your dear and close ones must be addressing you such, exactly as my name Sikandar is shortened to siki and that's perfectly OK.
But Rajah!
Remember,
You cant take any such liberties , when you are daggers drawn with anyone, specially a woman , and particularly with an intelligent one.
siki
To the above, please refer to quran 4911.
Why is your name "Sikandar"? PM any reply regarding your name.
Salaam.
Well Siki,
as a young women,I am very happy to find these strong voices of females,here.Learned females,that answer,with knowledge and respect.I have a lot to learn.
Did you see the grand mufti,of Saudia,saying 15 of january,in an lecture,that to marry girls from they are ten,is good,and proper,and that a good upbringing,will make a girl capable,to carry out her duties as a wife!
A wife tried trough court,to file for divorce,on her ten year old daughter,that the father married away to a man 50 year old.The court said of course that a wife have no right,not a mother either,and that the girl,could herself filed for divorce,when she reached puberty!
In muslim countries,this is what you called obedience Siki.
A menarchecal female marrying a post andropausal male is a good thing. Good genes from the old male go to the female for reproduction. But also, that young woman will learn about such things as sexual matters better from her old experienced husband than from her mother. This would also make sense in regards to the verses that state marry women if you fear for orphans, as in the old husbands that die and leave young women behind.
As for that court case, is that the one where the father asked the groom for more money?
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A menarchecal female marrying a post andropausal male is a good thing. Good genes from the old male go to the female for reproduction. But also, that young woman will learn about such things as sexual matters better from her old experienced husband than from her mother. This would also make sense in regards to the verses that state marry women if you fear for orphans, as in the old husbands that die and leave young women behind.
As for that court case, is that the one where the father asked the groom for more money?
i hope this is second degree, but i'm afraid its not - this sounds like a parallel world
so the first marriage of a woman would be to learn sex from an old experienced man so that when her old husband dies a fairytale second husband could come and profit of the teachings...i'm guess the second guy would also prefer to "teach"... -
A menarchecal female marrying a post andropausal male is a good thing. Good genes from the old male go to the female for reproduction. But also, that young woman will learn about such things as sexual matters better from her old experienced husband than from her mother. This would also make sense in regards to the verses that state marry women if you fear for orphans, as in the old husbands that die and leave young women behind.
As for that court case, is that the one where the father asked the groom for more money?
Far,that statement,makes it so clear that you are a man.A ten year old girl,marry an old man,to learn about sex,for her next husband?What kind of understanding is this?
Good genes from the old man?Today girls die in childbirth,because they are too young to carry a child,and give birth.Their bodys is not ready yet.Because of a diet high on fet,girls today get their period early,many from 10-11 year,it does not mean that they are ready for pregnancy.It only means that the body has reached the magic 22% fat level on the body.
Is it from the Quran,to marry your daughters away,children,that did not yet reach maturity?
It is not from the case,where the father,wanted more money,no.
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Good genes from the old man? Genes deteriorate in males very fast. Genes from old men are not precisely that good. The whole thing is sick. But on the other hand, the old man just, being the only adult will probably be indeed the head of the family at least till he becomes senile and the girl comes of age.
Salaam
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The above is from UN (eugenics) propaganda.
We are mammals. Look at the chimpanzees and elephants females who choose the older males. If such a plan to ban such relationships with mammals ever occured, may the god forbid such synthetic methods, well I'm just glad they aren't forced into such eugenicist desires.
Oh and if something is against your beliefs, do you call it manism? Do I reply and label you as anti-manism or just anti-human?
The opposite you did not consider, would be older women who hire men would marry the best one (who'd be young himself) rather than fornicating with him.
Even today's women die in child birth, or are not even able to give children because they're too old. Why do young women die in child birth? (A girl can in no way be pregnant) Because they do not receive any medical attention. Why? Because the countries they live in, the authorities believe in population reduction, and their minimum age of consent is 16, 18 or even in the 20s.
Ask yourself about pre-teen and teenage mothers in America.
http//www.amazon.co.uk/Pre-Teen-Teenage-Pregnancy-Twenty-first-Century/dp/1905539118
http//books.google.co.uk/books?id=XIzo5uo3XIQC&pg=PT594&lpg=PT594&dq=pregnancies+rates+10+year+females&source=web&ots=_YXU6nwdPO&sig=bgBCfy5gyWqpLNLbvuG6J7IB0vI&hl=en&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=8&ct=result#PPT594,M1
The young woman is the most dangerous threat to the eugenicist.
Please tell us what you consider to be a woman.
I consider a woman, a female that has an active womb able to give birth.
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Salaam.
Yes Far,we are mammals,but in which way can you compare elephants that choose old males,with that of a ten year old girl married to an old man?Did she choose him herself?
Young girls can get pregnant at once they have their period,and if they get pregnant,as nine,ten,ellewen,their birthcanal is not ready yet.They suffer from fistula,and death,across the world.
Do you consider a girl,at the age of ten or ellewen,as a woman Far,because she has got her menstrauation?Does she have an active womb?
Education and age,for women,is the two factors in this world,that enhance her parenthood.When you educate woman on contraseption,health issues,nutrition,and so on,so on,the chances for their children to grow up,is much higher.
It is nobodys right to marry your child daughters away,they have to be baligh,and have an understanding of their situation.And the right to say no!
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Young girls can get pregnant at once they have their period,and if they get pregnant,as nine,ten,ellewen,their birthcanal is not ready yet.They suffer from fistula,and death,across the world.
And this is the age when Nikah is NOT permissible, if some one believes in Quran.
Menstruation is the line when a girl-child leaves childhood and enters puberty
And when children amongst you enter adolescence
This is the time when boy and girl experiences wet-dream. Menstruation and ejaculation do not make a girl a woman and a boy a man.
This is NOT the age of Nikah.{Refer 406]
What is the point in time when boy and girl leave behind and enter the age of Nikah ? This is told
{Refer 6152; 1734}
explains everything.
And marriage is not merely a contract for making sex permissible; it is a comprehensive social contract between a man and woman and society/state is the third party; guardian and protector of the interests of both the contracting parties in accordance with the law, in case of dispute.
For what are those women made permissible?
That you people seek them/make efforts to engage them with your wealth.
But throughout history we know people seek women with their wealth for two purposes, for marriage and for merely enjoying sex. But Qur'an declares women as permissible for one purpose and negates the other purpose.
Seek women with your wealth like those people who seek for marriage/keeping them as pearl, opposite of those men who seek women with their wealth only to ?pour water?
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Peace,FAR...
The above is from UN (eugenics) propaganda.
We are mammals. Look at the chimpanzees and elephants females who choose the older males. If such a plan to ban such relationships with mammals ever occured, may the god forbid such synthetic methods, well I'm just glad they aren't forced into such eugenicist desires.
Good,when I look at chimpanzees myself I prefer the model of Bonobo chimpanzees ;D
They do not at all practice any kind of Eugenics.Bonobos have been portrayed as the ?Make love, not war? apes, characterized by female power sharing, a lack of aggression between either individuals or groups, richly elaborated sexual behavior that occurs without the constraint of a narrow window of fertility, and the use of sex for communicative purposes.http//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonobo
Oh and if something is against your beliefs, do you call it manism? Do I reply and label you as anti-manism or just anti-human?
Can I take the liberty to reply this question? Eugenics is very anti-human..humans don
t marry to pass strongest genes and qualifications http//www.answers.com/eugenics...theyre of a complicated and diverse emotional drives and behavior..we dont marry to increase our sexual performance,marriage is a very tight bond of peace and mercy,between couples who share interest in each other,its a choice that pubertal couples take and bear..girls should not be forced into marriage"And do not force your daughters into marriage when they have desired independence, in order that you may make a gain in the goods of this worldly life. But if anyone has compelled them, then for their compulsion, God is Forgiving, Merciful." 2433The opposite you did not consider, would be older women who hire men would marry the best one (who'd be young himself) rather than fornicating with him.
Well,if they are very interested in each other-the older woman and that young man-that they would commit fornication-or do you say that that woman would rape him,or fornicate with him against his will and choice?-it
s surely a mutual interest,aint it? well,it`s not like that in case an elderly man wants to marry a little girl,if her parents force her it would be definitely and literally "RAPE"...Even today's women die in child birth, or are not even able to give children because they're too old. Why do young women die in child birth? (A girl can in no way be pregnant) Because they do not receive any medical attention. Why? Because the countries they live in, the authorities believe in population reduction, and their minimum age of consent is 16, 18 or even in the 20s.
Children under four are more likely to die if they are born to single mothers and women under 20, according to national statistics.
http//news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/354103.stmAsk yourself about pre-teen and teenage mothers in America.
What makes it desirable anyway?
http//www.amazon.co.uk/Pre-Teen-Teenage-Pregnancy-Twenty-first-Century/dp/1905539118
"The State of the World's Children 2009" says that the younger a girl is when she becomes pregnant, the greater the health risks for her and her infant.
Worldwide, more than 60 million women who are currently aged 20-24 were married before they were 18, with the most child marriages being in South Asia and in Africa.
If a mother is under the age of 18, her infant's risk of dying in its first year of life is 60 percent greater than that of an infant born to a mother older than 19.
In addition, the report says adolescent wives are susceptible to violence, abuse and exploitation. Young brides are often forced to drop out of school, have few work opportunities and little chance to influence their own lives.
"If young girls are not in school, they are more vulnerable," South African Health Minister Barbara Hogan said at the launch. "It's not just a health issue; it is about the status of young women and girls."
http//www.nowpublic.com/health/unicef-report-reveals-shocking-teen-pregnancy-death-rate
For most girls, a regular menstrual cycle will begin between the ages of 11 and 16. During these formative years, bones are not mature, and over all growth is not yet finished. Becoming pregnant as during the teen years pose some serious health risks, not only to themselves, but to the unborn child.
The risks for the teen mom are great as well. Pregnancy and birth can put a tremendous strain on a teenager's body. If bone structure is not fully developed, she takes the risk of injuring her spine and pelvic bones, altering her life forever. It is also well known that the irresponsible behaviors some teens exhibit may put them at risk for sexually transmitted diseases. These diseases can be easily spread to an unborn baby. If untreated, disasterous consequences can occur.
Teen moms are more likely to have a baby that is premature and low birth weight. A premature baby is one that is born too early. Some of these babies do die. The ones that make it tend to have problems later in life, mental and physical problems are included. A low birth weight baby is one that is born with a weight of less than 5 1/2 pounds. These babies have a greater risk of being born with major birth defects.So,teen pregnancy is disastrous on all levels..even on the economic level..
Please tell us what you consider to be a woman.
I consider a woman not only a pubertal female who has reached a reasonable stage of growth of her brain, bones, muscle, skin, breasts, and reproductive organs but also an adolescent one who`s mature mentally, psychologically and also socially enough to be independent from the parents or legal guardians,able to make her own choices..