Adoption
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Hope, could you please clarify some of the problems that adoption might raise later in life? I'm curious.
Peace
Let me start by saying that i am not antagonising adoption, i am just highlightening some potential problems that might happen or might not happen, no gurantee.It is a fact that the adopted parents are not the real parents and the adopted child is not a real son or daughtar.
and it is a fact also that they are all human being liable to change in emotions.one of the problems is the daughter- father relationship especilaay after puberty, the girl herself knowing he is not her real father may feel embarresed from him, in a way that she may not feel free at home, may be she won't accept the usual father behaviour like hugging or even batting on her shoulder,.........etc, the same apply to a boy toward his adopted mother, this will make life v difficult.
Usually couple who think of adoption has no children of their own, wht if they have one of their own after adoption? and what if it happen to be of the opposite gender, they may not consider themselve brother/sister, how can they live under the same roof especiallly after puberty.
another thing, one of the main reason for a couple to adopt a child is to bring them joy and happiness, what if this child was a sort of trouble in a way or another, whould they tolerate him? feelings do change.
These were some examples of many other potential risks.regarding the islamic point of view.
God gave examples for prophets who had no child for a long time, zakaria and ibrahim, they could have adopted a child, , there is no mention of that.
God orders us to take care of orphans, cheirsh them, be humble and kind to them, save their money, support them financialy and psychologically, but he never mention adopting them as far as i can recall.still i think, a single female can adopt a girl child , a single male can adopt a male child.
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Peace
Let me start by saying that i am not antagonising adoption, i am just highlightening some potential problems that might happen or might not happen, no gurantee.It is a fact that the adopted parents are not the real parents and the adopted child is not a real son or daughtar.
and it is a fact also that they are all human being liable to change in emotions.one of the problems is the daughter- father relationship especilaay after puberty, the girl herself knowing he is not her real father may feel embarresed from him, in a way that she may not feel free at home, may be she won't accept the usual father behaviour like hugging or even batting on her shoulder,.........etc, the same apply to a boy toward his adopted mother, this will make life v difficult.
Usually couple who think of adoption has no children of their own, wht if they have one of their own after adoption? and what if it happen to be of the opposite gender, they may not consider themselve brother/sister, how can they live under the same roof especiallly after puberty.
another thing, one of the main reason for a couple to adopt a child is to bring them joy and happiness, what if this child was a sort of trouble in a way or another, whould they tolerate him? feelings do change.
These were some examples of many other potential risks.regarding the islamic point of view.
God gave examples for prophets who had no child for a long time, zakaria and ibrahim, they could have adopted a child, , there is no mention of that.
God orders us to take care of orphans, cheirsh them, be humble and kind to them, save their money, support them financialy and psychologically, but he never mention adopting them as far as i can recall.still i think, a single female can adopt a girl child , a single male can adopt a male child.
Your points are interesting. But I want to make one ramark regarding the father/daughter and mother/son relationship. How could a child develop any sexual feelings or even be embarrased from someone who has raised them and was always there as a mother or father figure? I mean for example, my aunt's husband was like a father to me. He was always around when I was a child and I remember he used to take me and my cousins to the beach when we were children and the amusement park etc. When I was 23, I had to move in with him and my aunt and cousins for several reasons. I lived with that family for two years and even though I was a grown woman, I never ever felt anything sexual towards him. I mean it didn't even cross my mind, he was just like a dad, someone who used to play with me as a child. And while I lived there, he treated me the way he treated his daughters.
As you said there is no guarantee. But for the life of me I just can't imagine that a child can develop sexual feelings for a parent just because they happen to be not the biological parents. It's just weird and against human nature.
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How could a child develop any sexual feelings or even be embarrased from someone who has raised them and was always there as a mother or father figure?
Peace
I didn't mention mere sexual feeling , although it could happen , i meant feelings of discomfort and not being at ease.I mean for example, my aunt's husband was like a father to me. He was always around when I was a child and I remember he used to take me and my cousins to the beach when we were children and the amusement park etc. When I was 23, I had to move in with him and my aunt and cousins for several reasons. I lived with that family for two years and even though I was a grown woman, I never ever felt anything sexual towards him. I mean it didn't even cross my mind, he was just like a dad, someone who used to play with me as a child. And while I lived there, he treated me the way he treated his daughters.
I think your mentioned story is irrelevant, i can't compare it to adoption, your aunt husband is a real relative to you, he is a part of your real family, so it is very normal the way you both feel and behave toward each others.
As you said there is no guarantee. But for the life of me I just can't imagine that a child can develop sexual feelings for a parent just because they happen to be not the biological parents. It's just weird and against human nature.
Again, i didnt mention sexual feelings, let say feelings of embarresment, discomfort ad not being at ease, and i believe these are not weired or aganist human nature.
peace
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I wonder wether it would be a good thing to tell an adopted child very early on that they were adopted.
That could possiblly prevent problems in the future (emotional) for both the parents and the adopted child. Even it the adopted child grows up to be a great person, it could still upset them to know that they were adopted.
Peace
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I think adoption is just fine. In fact, my belief is that ideally people should not have children of their own and instead just adopt. I dont find it fair that there are (probably) millions of children without parents (or without parents who can support them) and instead of taking care of them we are just having more. This doesn't apply to everyone, of course
So far from being wrong I think adoption is the right thing to do for a lot of people.