The Loneliness
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Peace to All,
I'm sitting here thinking on how lonely this journey has been. I thank Allah for the opportunity to wake up to certain realities and as a result of that, because I refuse to bend in what I understand, it leaves me not many choices, so therefore I am left feeling isolated. No one other than those who reside in my household can relate to me. "Virtual community life" is okay, but limited at best. How do you function as a virtual community? There's a lot of Q&A going on, but what about the human interaction that help to support, nurture and causes you to grow as a person? Sometimes words just won't do there need to be positive examples for support. I feel there should be a real place to call ours. If people who migrate to certain areas and set up shop, like China Town, and Little Italy, How come we can't get a plan going for something like that? A place for those who wish to raise their children in security with support of the community around them. A place where it is well understood of how important it is that if you do not have certain support systems in place your chances of success are very slim. A place for those who do not wish to live in dysfunction and really want to partake in community life can. To be able to physically support one another. A place to establish real unity, a Quranic reality. Now I'm not dumping on no one here. I'm just saying what's been on my mind. I know there are points of growing here, but you must ask yourselves, how can you grow without being in an atmosphere with others physical human beings around you? I get by, but there is still much longing. After you step away from your computer, who can you go grocery shopping with or who can give you a hand with the kids or drink tea with you while your children play with little to no friction because you all are on the same page or at least reading the same book. I hope to one day find either those like myself in my area or just keep inform those who I know personally. So far, no good. People are on their own thing in spite of the logical truths that are made available to them. That is to be expected. The way I see it, this will not come to pass until people are serious about this. Well, let me let go of my rant. I was just sharing some personal feelings and wondering if any of you feel the same. My thoughts for now.
Peace,
Shirley
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peace shirley
handshake
however i think there needs be more like minded people first. By that I mean Quranists.
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Thank you Shirley for bringing up this issue.
God created us as individuals and made us dependent on each other. He chose to test us with each other. It is difficult to live as Tarzans and/or Jeans in intellectual forests. Though in Tucson we have always had a small community of monotheists, yet I understand the difficulty of not having comrades who share the same paradigm and encourage each other in righteousness.
I receive emails from hundreds of new "converts" each year, yet I have not dedicated enough time and energy to establish connection between them, except for people from my home country. Occasionally, upon request, I do search my email box by city names and find a few people who had mentioned their location in their emails.
We need to utilize internet to create person-to-person meetings and establish communities. Not hierarchical religious organizations, but organizations with egalitarian aspirations. Once I had seen a world map where you could click on the map and see the names and email addresses of like-minded people there.
I live in Tucson Arizona and I frequently visit San Diego. So, if anyone lives around these cities let me know. I would like to meet you in person with my family.
FYI, I like playing chess, solve puzzles, ponder on philosophical questions, discuss on political issues, and if you think you are a strong man, I would like to challenge in you in a physical game of balance, power and strategy that I learned while I was in Turkish prisons )
Peace,
Edip -
Peace Omeiza and nsws1988,
I'd figure that if we can network and get rid of these foolish expectations that would be the only way. I know that there is more to it and when I look at what the Qur'an says, it becomes more clear to me that to be this isolation is not the answer or way. And I also think that it is to hard to change the system that is already in place at the local Masjids and the society around us, so the only thing we can do is to try and start something, but not based on this religious dogma, but actually look at the Qur'an in a way to truly govern our lives in a just Qur'anic system with in ourselves to be a shining example for all. I have children and I hate the fact that it's just my husband and I as their only examples. I wish they could see others that represent what we see as the correct way of doing what is right and being unified. I avoid the masjids so not to be locked into conforming and to avoid trying to work overtime to readjust their (my children) understanding everytime we go, just to be around people who at least say they believe ( I'm not going to get into that right now). This is tough. How is it that others are able to do it, but we are not? Do they have something we don't? For those who come to America and set up shop, they were unified not their heritage, cultures, tradition and religions. Shouldn't we have one better? We say we believe and yet the fruit is not there to show for our labor of belief. We people who say that we believe will have to make compromises and sacrifices in order to get it done. At least let some plans be drawn up. I don't know exactly where to start, but what I do know is that the Qur'an speaks of unity and community life. One of the things that stick out the most to me is when it comes to marriage, I've read on this forum countless people who wish they could find a mate who believe as they do and if not, then having to settle for what comes along hoping, praying, wishing that this person will eventually see things their way. How else can that be obtained if at some point we all don't come together? I would like to take the hassle out of my children finding suitable spouses when that time comes. Hopefully, someone we know who are firm believers, and so are their children, so that they can live the best way possible in security. I'm just venting my frustration, I guess it would be unrealistic to actually get some feedback. We shouldn't have to say things like, "It would be nice", it should already be by now, at least in my opinion. I'm not ragging on folks, I just don't understand why this subject is so complicated. Maybe it is people really do not want this and are happy with they way things are. That's not for me to question, I'm just putting it out there.
Living physically together is a must except there is no real love bw us. We must exist as a nation - a true community.
True as that maybe, how can we create a nation if we never start to build it( a community)? As I reflect on every situation with the prophets and messengers, they never started out big and some had to take a small handful and do what they had to with them and they prospered. The way I see it, ( not say I've got the skimmy on the situation it's just my opinion) it takes more than bricks to create a building. First, you need to build the frame work and such to make it strong, place it on even ground creating the right foundation so that when the bricks are added it will not collapse in under it's own weight. The foundation must be started somewhere, I guess this will be a true test for us. If we keep waiting , time will do what it does best. Keep on moving forward and leaving us behind unaccomplished. I was looking for more feedback on this just wonder if others truly take this situation to heart. And no, I'm not saying that I have the answers. I just think more needs to be discussed on this because this is an on going dilemma. I'm sure further analysis of the Qur'an will be needed to resolve this situation so that we can get things started and moving.Thank you for your time and post.
Peace,
Shirley
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Peace Edip & nimnimak_11,
I was making a post and hadn't realized you guys had posted something. Yes, it is true, you need like minded people to get things going. Where I live at it is so crippling that it makes my joints hurt. The dominating way of thinking lack of a better word is the "TRADITIONAL" way of thinking. I'm very tired at this point. I'm still young, but very exhausted when I think about how can I help my children. It's not me totally that I'm worried about, I can hold my own, but my children are a different subject. You have to create stability for them in order so that they may have a chance to prosper. how do you obtain happy family life as an adult being married to someone who can not or will not relate to you. Someone in the relationship will give in either a good or bad way. Maybe we should create a national family connect or national marriage service for those who have children of similar ages and wish for their children to find a spouse and maybe bounds can be form with those families and magic can happen for them. That's an idea. I'm just throwing out there. Is it realistic? That remains to be seen. Are there any two people on this site who had met their spouse on this forum??? I'd like to know. That would give hope for the future. Well, I'll not ramble any further. I'd like for you all to know this, your feedback is much welcomed. I'll check back on this to see where it is going. Take care.
Peace,
Shirley
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I support your idea shirley. But I am not lonely because I have a quranist father. )
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I live in Tucson Arizona and I frequently visit San Diego. So, if anyone lives around these cities let me know. I would like to meet you in person with my family.
FYI, I like playing chess, solve puzzles, ponder on philosophical questions, discuss on political issues, and if you think you are a strong man, I would like to challenge in you in a physical game of balance, power and strategy that I learned while I was in Turkish prisons )
Peace,
EdipPeace,
My husband wants to move, preferably to San Diego ... I'm not sure about the weather in Tucson (maybe too hot for us?).
I wish there were more monotheist communities around the US like you have in Tucson.
I wouldn't mind living there just for that reason... but it would just be for me and my kids, as my husband is not open to discarding traditional Islam, at least not yet. -
Peace to All,
I'm sitting here thinking on how lonely this journey has been. I thank Allah for the opportunity to wake up to certain realities and as a result of that, because I refuse to bend in what I understand, it leaves me not many choices, so therefore I am left feeling isolated. No one other than those who reside in my household can relate to me. "Virtual community life" is okay, but limited at best. How do you function as a virtual community? There's a lot of Q&A going on, but what about the human interaction that help to support, nurture and causes you to grow as a person? Sometimes words just won't do there need to be positive examples for support. I feel there should be a real place to call ours. If people who migrate to certain areas and set up shop, like China Town, and Little Italy, How come we can't get a plan going for something like that? A place for those who wish to raise their children in security with support of the community around them. A place where it is well understood of how important it is that if you do not have certain support systems in place your chances of success are very slim. A place for those who do not wish to live in dysfunction and really want to partake in community life can. To be able to physically support one another. A place to establish real unity, a Quranic reality. Now I'm not dumping on no one here. I'm just saying what's been on my mind. I know there are points of growing here, but you must ask yourselves, how can you grow without being in an atmosphere with others physical human beings around you? I get by, but there is still much longing. After you step away from your computer, who can you go grocery shopping with or who can give you a hand with the kids or drink tea with you while your children play with little to no friction because you all are on the same page or at least reading the same book. I hope to one day find either those like myself in my area or just keep inform those who I know personally. So far, no good. People are on their own thing in spite of the logical truths that are made available to them. That is to be expected. The way I see it, this will not come to pass until people are serious about this. Well, let me let go of my rant. I was just sharing some personal feelings and wondering if any of you feel the same. My thoughts for now.
Peace,
Shirley
Peace Shirley,
I was thinking about this today (as I do many days). It's kind of lonely, even in my family I'm the only one who thinks like I do.
So far I am only aware of 1 area in the US (not sure if you're in the US?) - in Tucson, that has a community.You said in a reply to some other people "how do you obtain happy family life as an adult being married to someone who can not or will not relate to you. "
That's a good question. For me, right now I don't bring up religious topics, and only argue when I have definite proof from the Qur'an. It is definitely a sticking point, and one that is causing friction. -
Peace Omeiza and nsws1988,
I'd figure that if we can network and get rid of these foolish expectations that would be the only way. I know that there is more to it and when I look at what the Qur'an says, it becomes more clear to me that to be this isolation is not the answer or way. And I also think that it is to hard to change the system that is already in place at the local Masjids and the society around us, so the only thing we can do is to try and start something, but not based on this religious dogma, but actually look at the Qur'an in a way to truly govern our lives in a just Qur'anic system with in ourselves to be a shining example for all. I have children and I hate the fact that it's just my husband and I as their only examples. I wish they could see others that represent what we see as the correct way of doing what is right and being unified. I avoid the masjids so not to be locked into conforming and to avoid trying to work overtime to readjust their (my children) understanding everytime we go, just to be around people who at least say they believe ( I'm not going to get into that right now). This is tough. How is it that others are able to do it, but we are not? Do they have something we don't? For those who come to America and set up shop, they were unified BY their heritage, cultures, tradition and religions. Shouldn't we have one better? We say we believe and yet the fruit is not there to show for our labor of belief. We people who say that we believe will have to make compromises and sacrifices in order to get it done. At least let some plans be drawn up. I don't know exactly where to start, but what I do know is that the Qur'an speaks of unity and community life. One of the things that stick out the most to me is when it comes to marriage, I've read on this forum countless people who wish they could find a mate who believe as they do and if not, then having to settle for what comes along hoping, praying, wishing that this person will eventually see things their way. How else can that be obtained if at some point we all don't come together? I would like to take the hassle out of my children finding suitable spouses when that time comes. Hopefully, someone we know who are firm believers, and so are their children, so that they can live the best way possible in security. I'm just venting my frustration, I guess it would be unrealistic to actually get some feedback. We shouldn't have to say things like, "It would be nice", it should already be by now, at least in my opinion. I'm not ragging on folks, I just don't understand why this subject is so complicated. Maybe it is people really do not want this and are happy with they way things are. That's not for me to question, I'm just putting it out there. True as that maybe, how can we create a nation if we never start to build it( a community)? As I reflect on every situation with the prophets and messengers, they never started out big and some had to take a small handful and do what they had to with them and they prospered. The way I see it, ( not say I've got the skimmy on the situation it's just my opinion) it takes more than bricks to create a building. First, you need to build the frame work and such to make it strong, place it on even ground creating the right foundation so that when the bricks are added it will not collapse in under it's own weight. The foundation must be started somewhere, I guess this will be a true test for us. If we keep waiting , time will do what it does best. Keep on moving forward and leaving us behind unaccomplished. I was looking for more feedback on this just wonder if others truly take this situation to heart. And no, I'm not saying that I have the answers. I just think more needs to be discussed on this because this is an on going dilemma. I'm sure further analysis of the Qur'an will be needed to resolve this situation so that we can get things started and moving.Thank you for your time and post.
Peace,
Shirley
I
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Salaamun 'Alaikum Sister,
I often feel loneliness like you do. I live in Australia, it's already hard enough to encounter traditional Muslims, let alone Quranists. But you know what? I have begun to accept that it no longer matters if I'm the only Quranist in Australia. Sure, it will be fantastic to be able to physically meet up with other like-minded people, to discuss more about Quranic teachings etc etc I have made some online friends from Free Minds and I feel very close to them (when I call them Brothers or Sisters, I do mean it from the bottom of my heart. That's how much they mean to me).
Anyway... right now my focus is to learn more about the true Islam and apply it to my daily life. It has been an exhausting process and sure, it is hard to go through each day on your own, but it is where the real test is. Just consider this, yes, we can be alone and most of the times, we are secure. if you read the Quran, then you will see how much the messengers of Allah had to endure. Abraham had to face his own father and be rejected. Noah was denied by his son. Lot had to lose his wife. Moses had to face Fir'aun, his former brother. And most were treated with hostility and even threatened to be killed. But they persevered and kept going on with establishing the Deen.
Right now, I'm trying more to be more charitable, to be more peaceful and to be more active in social work. Life seems to be more meaningful, even at times lonely, now that I uphold the Qur'an only as my source of Deen. I can be much more sincere to the people around me... it does not matter to me if they are not 'Muslims' now, after all, the Qur'an does tell us that it is OK to befriend and act justly to disbelievers who don't proclaim war against us. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is... try to think that you are an integral part of mankind in general, and not think that you need to belong to a certain group. For me, serving God is serving mankind, regardless of their race, gender, culture or religion.
And try to be more active I guess. You can deliver what you think is the Quranic truth to some traditional Muslims, you may be rejected or even branded kaffir, but it's part of your journey. I have tried talking, and most were fruitless and I nearly lost hope but the other day I talked to a traditional Muslim and he seemed to open his mind to what I said about Quranic values. It truly was a wonderful experience that I nearly cried out of joy.
You are not alone Sister. If you need a friend to talk to, you can send me a message anytime. InshaAllah I'll reply as soon as possible . I wish that peace be upon you, always...
Salaamun 'Alaikum
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Peace Shirley
Who would not like to live in a community with other brothers and sisters who have the same belief system as them? I think most people would like it. However, we have to see this from a realistic view. Because we live in a world governed by natural laws. A world full of facts and truths. Denying reality or ignoring the laws that govern our lives will lead to huge consequences. Reality is totally different from our subjective view of the world. Reality is full of conflict. Whether we like it or not, people live under harsh conditions. Human rights violation, hatred, war, poverty and daily struggle. It's not like we can wake up one day and suddenly all these problems in the world will disappear.
If we want to change anything in this world, we first have to change ourselves. Will problems in the world disappear if we work together? If people have not taken responsibility for their own lives, how can they take responsibility when they work together with other people? Imagine a carpenter living in a house with a roof that leaks. Can this carpenter go and build houses for his neighbours and his community? No. He first have to fix his own house. He has to fix the roof or build a completely new roof for his own house before he can help others. Why? Because if he do not do this, his family will get wet from the rain or hurt from the hail in the autumn. His family will freeze from the cold weather in the winter. And his family will get sunburned in the spring and summer. Revolution starts in the home. When we first have revolutionized our own thinking and our own lifestyle, only then we can achieve great things if we work together with other likeminded people. Because then we will have the time and the energy to change things outside of ourselves. Only when the carpenter has fixed is own house, he will have the time and the energy to go and buld houses for his neighbours. First he need to help himself and help his family by fixing his own roof, by fixing his own house. If he don't do this, he might have builded lots of houses for other people. But when he comes back to his own house, he is back to reality. And he is back to a roof that still leaks. And reality bites. It bites like a dangerous animal. Or imagine a surgeon that wants to perform surgery on a person with a diseased organ. If this surgeon has a diseased organ himself, then how can this surgeon perform surgery on other people? This surgeoen first has to fix his own body. When he is recovered and is healthy again. Only then he will be able to perform surgeries on other people.
If we have not take responsibility for our own lives, we might think that if we move into a community with other people, then these people will magically push us up the ladder of accomplishment. But this type of thinking is only an illusion. Most people are driven by self interest. They have their own problems and struggles. They have roofs that are leaking in their own houses. They don't have the time or the energy to fix the house of other people. It is not important where we are, only where we are heading towards.
"Do not fear going forward slowly; fear only to stand still"
Even dough the hare is faster than the tortoise, in the long run the tortoise will outshine the hare
http//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Tortoise_and_the_Hare
When people first achieve small things alone (take responsibility of their own lives and develop), then these people will achieve great things when they work together with other individuals. It will be a an army of leaders working together toward common goals. But as long as people are followers, they will not reach their full potential. Starting a Quranic community is just like a tool. Its not an end. To build a house, you have to be a carpenter first. You have to know how to perfrom carpentry. Having a Quranic community is just a tool. You need to be a carpenter to be able to build a house with your tool. If you don't have the education, no matter how many tools you have or how huge tools you have, they won't help you with much. You won't achieve much. As long as we have not taken responsibility, we will not reach our full potentials no matter how many Quranic communities we have. No houses get build by themselves. You always need a carpenter for building the house. You need someone that constructs it.
To be honest, nowadays i am neither for nor against a Quranic community. I am critical Only the facts matter for me. If i see that there are more pro's than cons, and if i see that starting a community will benefit everyone very much. Not just a little, but benefit everyone tremendously, then i will consider starting such a community in the future.
I think there are important questions we need to ask ourselves before even the thought of starting a quranic community comes to our minds.
So i have written 15 questions we should ask ourselves before we consider starting a Quranic community-
Do we want to create a small Quranic community and work towards making this community so huge so that we one day can have a Quranic country? Should it be a small community with likeminded people, for example 5-10 people? Or should it be a big community with thousands of people who follow Islam based on Quran alone?
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If your lonely where you live. Do you really need a Quranic community to make this loneliness dissappear? Will this loneliness magically disappear when such a community is established? Or is loneliness a state of mind? Can you instead find likeminded people in your own country and community? People must not have the same belief systems to be friends. You can be friends with people that are likeminded, people that have a good heart and the same goals and interests that you have in life.
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Do we want to create a Quranic community by reinvent the wheel. What if the new wheel we create is less advanced than the wheel we already have in the democratic countries we live in? If we choose to not create a Quranic community and instead fight the system from within, will it eventually make us conform, can it corrupt us?
What if the new wheel you create will be more advanced than the systems of today? For example, the system of democracy we have today is one of the best systems mankind has ever created. However, this system is not perfect. And the Quran has a system above this system. A more advanced system. A system which is ahead of time. Are you willing to put in the effort to create the true Quranic system in your community. Are you willing to discard all man-made systems to instead establish the Quranic system? -
Do you have plan? Do you have a blueprint? Because the fact is that a mental image without a plan is just a wish. But lets say you have a plan. Is your plan realistic and practical? Is it based on objectivity, based on facts. Is the plan scientific? Is it based on history? History often repeats itself. What will you do to make it not repeat itself?
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Are you willing to take the necessary steps to start a Quranic community? Are you willing to sacrifice lots of fun for instead doing hard work? What if takes 20 years of hard work to create a Quranic community? Are you willing to work that long?
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Do you want to start such a community for selfish desires or altruistic motives?
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Can you achieve things without starting a Quranic community? Can you contribute without starting a community?
8 ) We are told in the Quran to learn from the histories of the prophets. Did the prophets have communites? Or did they start to fight oppressive powers alone?
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And what about the philosophers, scientists, revolutionaries, reformists and freedomfighters, did they have communites? Or did they also stand alone against the oppressive forces?
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If we start a community, will we end up like most other communities that are religious? Will we end up as a sect? Will we isolate ourselves from the world. Become content with what we have? Only help other people with the same belief system as us? Ignore people that have different belief systems?
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Is Islam a deen or a system? Is islam meant to be an organized religion? What is a Quranist? Was Prophet Muhammed a Quranist? Were the other prophets Quranists? Why do have to call ourselves Quranists? Are we creating a new label so that we can create a new sect and finally create a Quranist community?
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What is the difference between a Quranist community and a Quranic community? Is not the first community a religion while the latter is a system?
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Will starting a community create a comfort zone so that we will be fooled to believe that we are safe and free from the troubles and conflicts of reality? And that we finally can relax, that we finally can seek refuge in fantasies, games, worldly ambitions and entertainment?
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What is our mission? Is our mission to isolate ourselves by creating a community like the religious amish people, or is our mission to spread the word about the true teachings of the Quranic system, so that hopefully more and more people will realize that deen Islam is the right system and then they would discard man-made systems like capitalism, materialism and consumerism?
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What about the Hypocrites. As we know, from the Quran, the hypocrites used to live among the believers of the past. So how can we guarantee that the hypocrites will not live amongs us? How can we guarantee that they will not put roadblocks in our path? Have human nature changed the last hundreds of years? Or will it always be traitors among us? And who are the hypocrites? Do you even know what a hypocrite is? Or do you think everyone who says they follow Quran alone is a sincere believer?
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peace all,
woah, so many nice posts.
Nothing much to add, but sometimes, if I feel alone, I like to look out the window, or have a walk in my garden, or look up at the stars at night and observe how they shine..... and feel how everything is in unity, striving towards what I'm striving for, the sky, the trees, the blades of grass, the flowers, the moon etc. all around me, hundreds, millions, all in ibadah/servitude all for one and one for all. This gives me comfort, and reminds me I'm not alone in this struggle.
A community begins with one person be that person. Be the change you wish to see in the world.
"It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness" ~Chinese proverb
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If we want to start a quranic community, i feel that the most realistic and practical thing to do is to just move into a small neighbourhood with other people who believe in God alone. Just start a small community of 5-10 people with the same belief system as me. But at the moment i have other goals that i first have to accomplish.
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I don't mind whether or not I live in a Quran alone area. I just think it would be nice if there were a few like-minded individuals in my area I can befriend and meet up with.
I found a quranist in my school.
