I was an atheist...
-
I thought my first post in free-minds forum should be here. Here is my story I posted to 19.org's forum
Then let me tell a different story
Most of the people I know used to be either sunni, or "search for the truth". Not me, actually I didn't use to give a damn.
I liked some of the religious stories about Muhammed or other prophets, or miracles, when I was a young boy. In Turkey, there are some "brainformatter" groups of people who "wash" young boys' brains pretending to teach them lessons (Mathematics and so on). But the real intention is advertising their religion to make the boy to become a sunni (or make him think the way as they think). It was my family who noticed their intention and protected me.
The way they noticed this is pretty funny and strange actually They found one of the books I got from brainformatters Interesting Questions - 2 (Yes, the author was nobody but Edip).
In that book, Edip quotes some of the (extreme and nonsense) sunni thoughts, actually to criticize them. However, in the first look (when skimming and scanning), they seem to be the author's thoughts (Well, at least my family thought they were the author's thoughts). I tried to explain that they are not Edip's thoughts, that Edip criticized them. Hehe, I liked Edip. I liked that book
They later noticed they were not Edip's thoughts, however, they had noticed the "brainformatters" once. They didn't want me to go to that people's house again.
Edip's "Interesting Questions - 2" book was what prevented me to become a sunni . Though in a different way, it really did
Then, a long time passed. I was not interested in religious matters. I never was, actually.
One day, I refused all of the religious stories, together with what they're based on the existence of a God. I lost my belief, became an atheist. Actually, I never believed, it's only that I was told that I believed a god. Everbody said there was a god.
I reflected, then decided... Miserable is what I decided... Miserable indeed is what I decided... I looked, frowned and whined. I turned arrogantly... I said "this is not even a clever magic"... I said "This is human made" 7418-25 (The thing I refused was, however, not a miracle, but the stories. I did it arrogantly, though. That's the only arrogance I'm happy with )
Based on those nonsense stories, I refused the idea of a God.
Another long time passed. One day, I saw another book "Errors in Quran Translations", written by Edip Yuksel. Hey, that name sounds familiar! I read it. Strange it is, this guy refuses everything I refuse, he still insists the existence of a God.
Then, I read "19 Questions for Muslim Scholars". I wrote an email to Edip. He sent me Rashad's English Translation.
I met Rashad... I read the appendices first .
I met 19. I met Quran.
I met... God...
I wrote another email to Edip saying that it's very difficult, if not impossible, to calculate the divisibility of those long numbers by 19 (I didn't know programming that well then). He replied me "I didn't calculate them, I don't know the exact programming method".
I met... C... . Proved to myself the truth of the most of what Rashad said.
Proved to myself, mathematically, and digitally, the existence of a God... The existence of "the" God...
I don't think even Edip remembers those emails, mainly because I usually try to change my nick frequently to make sure nobody remembers me, in person
Thinking now, strange indeed I had nothing to do with religion, all I wanted was to study Mathematics. I was a kid. The people who seemed to help me study math were actually sunni brainwashers, imposing their thoughts. I took nearly nothing from them, my family prevented me. Except one book Edip's book. That was one of the few books opposing them Then, I had again nothing to do with religion (and reaaalllly nothing, I mean), then I came across another book of Edip (whom, at first look, I can't even remember from where I can remember, but there was a familiarity).
That book changed my life. Thanks, Edip.
I was 19 years old. God guided me.
Thank God!