How sex before Marriage is not haram (prohibited) according to the Quran
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Thank you for the clarification. Is it 100% that it can not mean master/owner? There are translations that have used the terms owner or master.
MMA does not necessarily mean slave. The translation uses that because thats Sunni interpretation. It could mean those of you who have an oath or those under your protection or those with whom their is contract or those who are your partners. In fact slaves is the weakest interpretation.
It seems that some see marriage as a commitment. I have no problem with the commitment part and thats what i meant that its commitment that symbolizes a relationship between two couples as the Quran makes clear, I have a problem with nobody till now explaining what is meant by "marriage".
Marriage as understood by Sunnis is NOT a commitment but a formal process and I have shown that. That process is not based on Quran.
What do you mean by marriage? Lets start from there. Plus lets avoid the MMA issue because there is a dispute about that. But first lets define what is a marriage as understood from a Quranic perspective and not a Sunni perspective or a social perspective. Most Muslims came from this background where marriage is immediately assumed to be a commitment. But thats not what Muslim societies mean by marriage. The mean a process and a ritual. Thats not Quranic.
If its commitment than thats what I am saying and commitment does not need a process. It means financial commitment and sharing of risk and sharing a life with another and of course no cheating.
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Peace Nima
My understanding of your opinion is a gf/bf relationship is not so serious if she gets pregnant it?s not such a big deal like a marriage because you seem to think divorce is bad.
Divorce wasn?t prohibited for a reason. If people can reconcile that could be better but if they can?t they?re better off without each other. Raising a child in a not so good environment can be more harmful than a divorced one.
If there is no waiting period after a mma and a person can decide after 2 weeks ?nah not interested? it seems so easily manipulative. Why wouldn?t mma?s be safeguarded?
For someone who engages in the act for the first time and then has no one and yet desires it so much because they tasted it and have no self control would that mean having a ?sexual buddy? is ok? For no purpose other than that to fulfil loneliness? Is that ok? If 2 mutually agree? I don?t feel that is right. to me it?s like a fahsha
So two people mutually agree for fun and for some reason one person takes them more seriously or likes them, the other doesn?t.. imagine how upset they?d be. They started the relationship purely on selfish/desire grounds ?fun? ?fulfilling desire? that seems more messed up.
Anyway goodluck with your exam
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Salam Sarah
My understanding of your opinion is a gf/bf relationship is not so serious if she gets pregnant it?s not such a big deal like a marriage because you seem to think divorce is bad.
I am purely sticking to what AQ says in this case. I did not say i agree with it, but i acknowledge not being full in knowledge and thus being unaware of why this is set by AQ. It could well be that abortion is an option (before the first trimester) If she gets pregnant.
It is a big deal (pregnancy even outside marriage) and i'm quiet confident there must be something we've missed from AQ or we might have some major misunderstanding from AQ to think that it's not.I do not think that it's not seen as major. I just think i have yet to discover where it emphasises the majorness in AQ. Either that or i have yet to discover where sex is exclusive to marriages because on evidence provided so far, it is not. We should do summary of evidences for and against to see a scale. I'l do this hopfully in my next post.
Divorce wasn?t prohibited for a reason. If people can reconcile that could be better but if they can?t they?re better off without each other. Raising a child in a not so good environment can be more harmful than a divorced one.
Exactly and due to the importance of it and the possiblity that the couple are making a mistake (rash decision or some misunderstanding) it has given the following requests as safegaurds. A simple relationship should not have such safeguards. But the issue of pregnancy is of course serious and logically shoud have some safe guards but this is not evidence for rejecting premarital sex. I think we are missing something from AQ which Godwilling we will find that clarifies. This could be a clarification of how sex before marriage is haram or a clarification of something that fulfills the seriousness of responsibility of pregnancy outside of marriage.
If there is no waiting period after a mma and a person can decide after 2 weeks ?nah not interested? it seems so easily manipulative. Why wouldn?t mma?s be safeguarded?
I know but so is everything else including marriage. You can't say this freedom is denied because some will get manipulated or some will manipulate. It would the equivalent of saying you can't give humanity free-will because some will abuse it.
For someone who engages in the act for the first time and then has no one and yet desires it so much because they tasted it and have no self control would that mean having a ?sexual buddy? is ok? For no purpose other than that to fulfil loneliness? Is that ok? If 2 mutually agree? I don?t feel that is right. to me it?s like a fahsha
This is a controversial example although not greatly controversial as there is no reason that one can provide for it to be fahsha. The key is you feel it's fahsha. Thus forbidden to you. But to someone else it may not seem as fahsha thus not forbidden to them. It has to be within reason. For exmaple you go to a prostitute. You know she is desperate for money. I'm sure that to the righteouss, they would not have sex with that prositute, as she does not want the same thing. I can see lewdness in this and with reason i can argue. But two people who desire sex. Who have no commitments to anyone else, why should they refrain? Pregnancy is the only issue (a serious one at that) but i think that somewhere in AQ there is something that says something like or implies that if they do become pregnant, then you both have a responsibility. But with a 98% chance of preventing pregnancy. It is not likely to happen. In the case it does happen (which is the risk that the couple took) then i'm sure that something implies responsibility in AQ.
Bear in mind that some people may not want to take the risk. But this right should not be taken away from those who do want to take the risk as this is not prohibited in AQ. At 98% success rate, it is reasonable. Also keep in mind that AQ is for all genrations to come. At some point contraception may be produced that works 100% therefore pregnancy would not be an issue. Would there be any other objections to premarital sex then?
So two people mutually agree for fun and for some reason one person takes them more seriously or likes them, the other doesn?t.. imagine how upset they?d be. They started the relationship purely on selfish/desire grounds ?fun? ?fulfilling desire? that seems more messed up.
This is the exact thing that puts me off from any kind of relationship unless with an Iranian (i will only marry an iranian) but this is not a sufficient reason to reject this right to others. The same could occure in anything else. It is down to the morals and the patience and wisdom of the individuals how they use this right given to them. Just like free will.
Anyway goodluck with your exam
Thanks peace
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MMA does not necessarily mean slave. The translation uses that because thats Sunni interpretation. It could mean those of you who have an oath or those under your protection or those with whom their is contract or those who are your partners. In fact slaves is the weakest interpretation.
It seems that some see marriage as a commitment. I have no problem with the commitment part and thats what i meant that its commitment that symbolizes a relationship between two couples as the Quran makes clear, I have a problem with nobody till now explaining what is meant by "marriage".
Marriage as understood by Sunnis is NOT a commitment but a formal process and I have shown that. That process is not based on Quran.
What do you mean by marriage? Lets start from there. Plus lets avoid the MMA issue because there is a dispute about that. But first lets define what is a marriage as understood from a Quranic perspective and not a Sunni perspective or a social perspective. Most Muslims came from this background where marriage is immediately assumed to be a commitment. But thats not what Muslim societies mean by marriage. The mean a process and a ritual. Thats not Quranic.
If its commitment than thats what I am saying and commitment does not need a process. It means financial commitment and sharing of risk and sharing a life with another and of course no cheating.
I never took MMA to mean slave. Just someone who you have an oath with. Oath may solve certain issues with premarital sex.....
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well its seriously shocking for me to see that someone can even think of premarital sex as a non prohibited thing. How can you justify it and seriously then there remains no logic for marriage.
Salam
The answers are in this thread if you seek them impartially.
It would also have been shocking for sunnis to think that salat can be done without rakats. Please note that I am not likening you to them. But i am likening your approach (IN THIS CASE ALONE) to them for i don't know you personally.peace
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A comparison of the two arguments
For sex outside of marriage
A) It is not forbidden (no verse says it is)
B) What AQ does do is convey that to all other then azwaaj and MMA it is forbidden (to all else, the parts are to be guarded) 235-6
Some argue this does not = sex permitted. Then what exactly does it mean then? More importantly take into account point A.Against sex outside of marriage (this is to do with my understanding based on what i have refuted. I have put down the objections that I FEEL are reasonable. If others feel there are other arguments against sex outside of marriage, then put them down so we have a comparison. I have not put down the ones that I believe I have sufficiently answered)
A) It is just wrong (as argued by simple and whooper)
B) The absence of guidelines for the issue of pregnancy implies that all the above arguments for sex outside of marriage should be discarded (as argued by Kaamil and Sarah)So ultimately this is the case
All the arguments for sex outside of marriage should be discarded because there are no guidelines for pregnancy. Look at the argument for sex outside of marriage. Which is stronger? (entirely your judgement but let's discuss with reason to get closer to the truth)
Let me remind you of Salat in which many argue that because there are no instructions, then it cannot be done via Quran alone. Perhaps God had already put the necessary instructions there in AQ or perhaps God did not intend for any restrictions....
I was thinking that for one to reject the arguments for sex outside of marriage, one would have to assume that God already knew that we thought the act was bad. But then it occured to me what about murder and stealing? they are clearly wrong to us. Nevertheless they are stated. Thus again i came to the realisation. It is a complete book. What is forbidden is stated (point A) and what is not forbidden is permitted.
peace
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Salam Nima
So far I can say the info found seems too ambiguous for you to conclude that it is ok. And yeh you?re right I think it is fahisha so I guess that?s why I think it?s not right. you?re right I shouldn?t think anything of it, but then I feel I have no opinion on the matter.
I am purely sticking to what AQ says in this case. I did not say i agree with it, but i acknowledge not being full in knowledge and thus being unaware of why this is set by AQ. It could well be that abortion is an option (before the first trimester) If she gets pregnant.
It is a big deal (pregnancy even outside marriage) and i'm quiet confident there must be something we've missed from AQ or we might have some major misunderstanding from AQ to think that it's not.What gives you that idea, your thoughts?? Abortion as an option before first trimester? AFAIK having abortions are not healthy on the lady carrying, physically and mentally.
Anyway it?s not purely about children or not. Protection no matter how accurate it is there are possibilities. Two of my cousin?s wives got pregnant and they were using IUD and that?s apparently 99% chance of not getting pregnant and they got pregnant.
Unless you undertake surgery (vasectomy or for women cut/tie/block the fallopian tube) I don?t think there will ever be a way, 100% claims of no pregnancy guaranteed. It?s kinda like germ cleaners, they?re all 99% why not 100? Well not exactly but I doubt the future will hold 100% so don?t count on it.
FRJ doesn?t = sex so protecting your frj doesn?t mean to MMA?s you can have sex. Point A should also include it doesn?t say it is permissible.
Let me give you a scenario, I am a female and I have a female MMA what does that mean?
That I can be lesbian? Yeh right.
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well its seriously shocking for me to see that someone can even think of premarital sex as a non prohibited thing. How can you justify it and seriously then there remains no logic for marriage.
What do you mean by pre marital sex and what do you mean by marriage? I have yet to see any answer for this.
There are conditions the Quran puts for having sex. However this as i said before is not accepted by Sunnis.
The Quran says we should be having a place to stay, financial means, a dowry of value, and we must not have sex with others. Polygamy of course somewhat complicates that. However people here use marriage as a term without defining what they mean. But we must not use terminolgy without understanding its meaning. For Sunnis marriage means
Nikah Misyar
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopediaNikah Misyar (Arabic ر is the Sunni Muslim Nikah (Marriage) carried out via the normal contractual procedure, with the specificity that the husband and wife give up several rights by their own free will, such as living together, equal division of nights between wives in cases of polygamy, the wife's rights to housing, and maintenance money ("nafaqa", and the husband's right of homekeeping, and access etc
Essentially the couple continue to live separately from each other, as before their contract, and see each other to fulfil their needs in a permissible (halaal) manner when they please.
This is not what Quran calls a marriage.
Islamic lawyers add that this type of marriage fits the needs of a conservative society which punishes ?zina? (fornication) and other sexual relationships which are established outside a marriage contract. Thus, some Muslim foreigners working in the Persian Gulf countries prefer to engage in the misyar marriage rather than live alone for years. Many of them are actually already married with wives and children in their home country, but they cannot bring them to the region.
Some here seem to see it very similarly.
The Sheikh of al-Azhar Mosque Muhammad Sayyid Tantawi and theologian Yusuf Al-Qaradawi note, in their writings and in their lectures, that a major proportion of the men who take a spouse in the framework of the misyar marriage are already married men.
Many of the men involved would not marry a second wife within the regime of normal Islamic polygamy, because of the heavy financial burdens, moral obligations & responsibilities it places on the husband. But, they opt for the option of misyar marriage when the theologians declare it licit.
This is madness.
Contrary to widely held beliefs, misyar marriage fits within the general rules of marriage in Sunni Islamic law, on condition merely that it fulfil all the requirements of the Shariah marriage contract i.e
The agreement of both parties;
Two legal witnesses (Shahidain)
The payment by the husband to his wife of Mahr in the amount that is agreed
The absence of a fixed time period for the contract
Shuroot, Any particular stipulations which the two parties agree to include in the contract and which are in conformity with Muslim marriage law.
Moreover, as explained by the Saudi Islamic lawyer Abdullah bin Sulaiman bin Menie, a member of the Higher Council of Ulema of Saudi Arabia, the wife can denounce at any time, as she sees fit, her renunciation of her financial rights, and require of her husband that he give her all her rights, including that he live with her and provide for her financial needs ("nafaqa". The husband can then either do so, or grant her a divorce.http//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikah_Misyar
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Salam Sarah
So far I can say the info found seems too ambiguous for you to conclude that it is ok. And yeh you?re right I think it is fahisha so I guess that?s why I think it?s not right. you?re right I shouldn?t think anything of it, but then I feel I have no opinion on the matter.
I havn't concluded intenally yet. Just by my argument that is the conclusion. Could you clarify the ambiguity? what i mean is are there any other sound objections other than the lack of guidelines for pregnancy?
What gives you that idea, your thoughts?? Abortion as an option before first trimester? AFAIK having abortions are not healthy on the lady carrying, physically and mentally.
No my reasoning. Check this out. I got this about abortion from yahoo
It is not murder... there is no human involved... A foetus, zygote, blastocyct--whatever you wish to call it--- is simply a clump of cells, having no thoughts, indeed no nervous system, even. Those who say it has its own DNA and heartbeat forget that all parasites have their own DNA and heart beat, and in the early states of a pregnancy, a foetus is the very essence of a parasite....absolutely unable to live outside the uterus, just as a liver fluke is unable to live outside a liver
Anyway it?s not purely about children or not. Protection no matter how accurate it is there are possibilities. Two of my cousin?s wives got pregnant and they were using IUD and that?s apparently 99% chance of not getting pregnant and they got pregnant.
&
Unless you undertake surgery (vasectomy or for women cut/tie/block the fallopian tube) I don?t think there will ever be a way, 100% claims of no pregnancy guaranteed. It?s kinda like germ cleaners, they?re all 99% why not 100? Well not exactly but I doubt the future will hold 100% so don?t count on it.
So premarital sex is ok after vasectomy? What other objections would be left?
FRJ doesn?t = sex so protecting your frj doesn?t mean to MMA?s you can have sex. Point A should also include it doesn?t say it is permissible.
Point A shoudn't include that it is permissible because of
O ye who believe! make not unlawful the good things which Allah hath made lawful for you, but commit no excess for Allah loveth not those given to excess.Now if you find a verse that implies that it's bad, then 587 is overruled. But if not 587 maintains point A
Let me give you a scenario, I am a female and I have a female MMA what does that mean?
That I can be lesbian? Yeh right.
If you are impartial to your heart and reason with respect to wether such an act is a transgression or a type of fahasha, then you've done nothing wrong. BUT i highly doubt that your heart and reason can conclude this. So the example you gave is not really relevant to denying pre-marital sex.
peace
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I was looking at sura 2 and it looks like there is a guideline on pregnancy outside of marriage.
What do people think of this2233 And the mothers are allowed to suckle their children two full years, if they wish to complete the suckling. And the man for whom the child is born is responsible for both their provisions and clothing equitably. A soul is not burdened except with what it can bear. No mother shall be harmed because of her child, nor shall a father be harmed because of his child. And for the guardian is the same requirement. So if they wish to separate out of mutual agreement and counsel, then there is no sin upon them. And if you want to hire nursing mothers, then there is no sin upon you if you return what you have been given equitably. And be aware of God, and know that God is watching over what you do.
The reason i've quoted the above
- There is no wife or husband used thus no implication of this being a husband and wife relationship.
- Point 1 is further backed by the fact that the verse says seperate out of mutual agreement instead of using the word talaghwhich is always used when talking of marriages.
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So how about Pre-Marital Sex for Money I.e. Prostatution?
Because I mean, If we are going to say Pre-Marital sex is Okay... then we should probabily say Prostatution is OKay too.
I mean, why not? Your having Sex for enjoyment, and getting other external benifits in the Process.Then If Prostatution is okay, Then how about Gay Homosexual sex too? that seems okay....
Wait....Then if thats okay...Hey what the Hell Abortion, Drinking Alcohol, and Doing Drugs too!Haha Great! Now When you have a Non-Muslim and a Muslim standing next to eachother...You cant even Tell the Difference! D
Amazing...Infact, Then America and Denmark are probabily the Most Islamic Countries on Earth! woohoo!
Then since we'er that close...lets just forget Islam entierly...it wouldnt be much a difference... Cool! D
) astaghfirullah (Sarcasm)
I have a Side Question for Everyone...
*If you believe Pre-marital sex is not haraam, and you meet a Girl...Would you still be with her known that she had like 100 guys have sex with her in the past? I mean, Since Premartial sex is not Haraam...Then getting with a woman who had sex with 100 guys shouldnt be a problem either...
I wonder... Do any of you get a disqusting feeling about someone who has pre-marital sex with multipul partners?
humm...wouldnt that be called Fornication?And then if Premartial sex is okay...then how many guys could the woman have? can she have Multipul Pre-marital sex parnters?
Perhaps even have sex with 20 guys at the same time?
I mean, if Islam is going to condone this....then whats the difference from a Muslim and a Kaffir? -
So how about Pre-Marital Sex for Money I.e. Prostatution?
Because I mean, If we are going to say Pre-Marital sex is Okay... then we should probabily say Prostatution is OKay too.
I mean, why not? Your having Sex for enjoyment, and getting other external benifits in the Process.Then If Prostatution is okay, Then how about Gay Homosexual sex too? that seems okay....
Wait....Then if thats okay...Hey what the Hell Abortion, Drinking Alcohol, and Doing Drugs too!Haha Great! Now When you have a Non-Muslim and a Muslim standing next to eachother...You cant even Tell the Difference!
Amazing...Infact, Then America and Denmark are probabily the Most Islamic Countries on Earth! woohoo!
Then since we'er that close...lets just forget Islam entierly...it wouldnt be much a difference... Cool!
astaghfirullah (Sarcasm)
I have a Side Question for Everyone...
*If you believe Pre-marital sex is not haraam, and you meet a Girl...Would you still be with her known that she had like 100 guys have sex with her in the past? I mean, Since Premartial sex is not Haraam...Then getting with a woman who had sex with 100 guys shouldnt be a problem either...
I wonder... Do any of you get a disqusting feeling about someone who has pre-marital sex with multipul partners?
humm...wouldnt that be called Fornication?And then if Premartial sex is okay...then how many guys could the woman have? can she have Multipul Pre-marital sex parnters?
Perhaps even have sex with 20 guys at the same time?
I mean, if Islam is going to condone this....then whats the difference from a Muslim and a Kaffir?The thread will answer some of your questions hopefully.
peace
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So how about Pre-Marital Sex for Money I.e. Prostatution?
Because I mean, If we are going to say Pre-Marital sex is Okay... then we should probabily say Prostatution is OKay too.
I mean, why not? Your having Sex for enjoyment, and getting other external benifits in the Process.Then If Prostatution is okay, Then how about Gay Homosexual sex too? that seems okay....
Wait....Then if thats okay...Hey what the Hell Abortion, Drinking Alcohol, and Doing Drugs too!Haha Great! Now When you have a Non-Muslim and a Muslim standing next to eachother...You cant even Tell the Difference!
Amazing...Infact, Then America and Denmark are probabily the Most Islamic Countries on Earth! woohoo!
Then since we'er that close...lets just forget Islam entierly...it wouldnt be much a difference... Cool!
astaghfirullah (Sarcasm)
I have a Side Question for Everyone...
*If you believe Pre-marital sex is not haraam, and you meet a Girl...Would you still be with her known that she had like 100 guys have sex with her in the past? I mean, Since Premartial sex is not Haraam...Then getting with a woman who had sex with 100 guys shouldnt be a problem either...
I wonder... Do any of you get a disqusting feeling about someone who has pre-marital sex with multipul partners?
humm...wouldnt that be called Fornication?And then if Premartial sex is okay...then how many guys could the woman have? can she have Multipul Pre-marital sex parnters?
Perhaps even have sex with 20 guys at the same time?
I mean, if Islam is going to condone this....then whats the difference from a Muslim and a Kaffir?! laugh
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Salam
Objections, Zina
1732 zina is a fahisha dont go NEAR it. You saidUnless you take the root Zay-Nun-Ya or Fa-Ha-Shin to literally mean premarital sex, the prohibition of sex before marriage is not stated in the Quran.
How else do you take it? Focus on zina not fahisha. Zina as fornication and as adultery, do you take it to mean something else?
So premarital sex is ok after vasectomy? What other objections would be left?
No, no, no, no, no you silly boy! Who said sex was just for children? What about all the women who cannot get pregnant and the men who cannot father? No, the objection is not about children/pregnancy or not. Its about the legal grounds of it, the act or not. Having children is just a stronger argument against it.
Point A shoudn't include that it is permissible because of
O ye who believe! make not unlawful the good things which Allah hath made lawful for you, but commit no excess for Allah loveth not those given to excess.Now if you find a verse that implies that it's bad, then 587 is overruled. But if not 587 maintains point A
Its good only within bounds, until proven. so don't categorise yet. prove it then say it is good/lawful
If you are impartial to your heart and reason with respect to wether such an act is a transgression or a type of fahasha, then you've done nothing wrong. BUT i highly doubt that your heart and reason can conclude this. So the example you gave is not really relevant to denying pre-marital sex.
My point is for you to think that it's not (just) about premarital sex. you think mma automatically means someone to have sex with that is my point to look outside the box you're clouded with.
2233 And the mothers are allowed to suckle their children two full years, if they wish to complete the suckling. And the man for whom the child is born is responsible for both their provisions and clothing equitably. A soul is not burdened except with what it can bear. No mother shall be harmed because of her child, nor shall a father be harmed because of his child. And for the guardian is the same requirement. So if they wish to separate out of mutual agreement and counsel, then there is no sin upon them. And if you want to hire nursing mothers, then there is no sin upon you if you return what you have been given equitably. And be aware of God, and know that God is watching over what you do.
I read it I thought it was the separation about the weaning but lets go by your thought. Read the contexts, the verses before and after are about wives, why? This verse specifically says mothers because I think there is a reason. Not all wives have children or their own children. E.g. go into marriage with husband who has children or vice versa. So its specific as to who is the responsible not that it is evidence of premarital responsibilities.
This is how I see it, Quran seems to be for marriage, advices about marriage why not mma? there is a hikma behind it, at least i think there is. Anyway later this week or next Im going to look into things and see what comes up
Salam
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The argument from ignorance, also known as argumentum ad ignorantiam ("appeal to ignorance"), argument by lack of imagination, or negative evidence, is a logical fallacy in which it is claimed that a premise is true only because it has not been proven false, or is false only because it has not been proven true.
The argument from personal incredulity, also known as argument from personal belief or argument from personal conviction, refers to an assertion that because one personally finds a premise unlikely or unbelievable, the premise can be assumed to be false, or alternatively that another preferred but unproven premise is true instead.
Both arguments commonly share this structure a person regards the lack of evidence for one view as constituting proof that another view is true. The types of fallacies discussed in this article should not be confused with the reductio ad absurdum method of argument, in which a valid logical contradiction of the form "A and not A" is used to disprove a premise.
Eating my own Feces wile having premarital sex with 10 women and 10 men wile sucking on a Pork-Fat made Popsicle and snorting cocain/injecting heorin
Is NOT HARAM because The Quran never mentions that! (Fallacy)Reasoning Only Pork FAT is haram, (eating feces are not haram) Having sex with Multipul non-married partners is not Haram, Beging Homosexual is not haram, and also The Quran Doesnt actually Forbid Alcohol or any drugs...So therefore snorting Cocain and ingecting Black tar heroin Must be Acceptible....
Just because the Quran doesnt say something doesnt make it Halal and it doesnt make it Haraam. That is called Argument to Ignorance Fallacy.
Rather I would Use My Logic and Verses of the Quran.
For instance, In the Quran it says "EAT GOOD FOOD"...Therefore, Obviously You should not eat Pork FAT or your own Feces since those are "Bad Foods"...
It says to guard your chasity and do not commit Zina (Fornication OR adultery) and it says Stay Away from Intoxicants...That could be Alcohol AND Cocain and Heroin... and it always Talks about WIVES, therefore Obviously ONLY a WOMAN can be a Wife, and ONLY a WIFE can be a Gril to have sex with...(not a Grilfriend or a Co-Worker)Remember The Quran says That There WILL be those who Use their twisted Logic to try and misinterpet verses of scripture to fit their Life style.
There are many meanings in the Quran...Some Rightious people and God understand them, and Some people pervert interpetation.