My strange story
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I find this very intriguing. I have never met anyone who's claimed to share this experience with me before. Would you like to tell me more?
It was a couple of years back. I think I was 18 at the time. I was at a small gathering of some high school friends. This people were heavily into serious drugs and convinced me to have some weed. I had only ever tried weed once before, and utterly hated the experience. So I convinced myself to try it this second time since "I was with my high school friends" and we were all now studying at different Universities etc. Just making excuses.
This second time was ALOT worse. I experienced effects of
http//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derealization
http//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization
http//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrusive_thoughts - Thoughts of rejecting God and good (at the time I was a borderline atheist and very arrogant). In fact the thoughts were so strong that I thought they were "alive" / were voices speaking to me.
http//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panic_attack -I thought I was going to die or become insane. Since I did not believe in God or good I thought "this is the end for me". This coupled with the intrusive thoughts made for a very scary experience (it was and still is the worst thing that I ever felt in my life).Bottomline is, I felt terrible. So in a panic, I called my brother; who was sober. He didn't smoke, or drink and had a strong dislike of intoxicants. I convinced him that we needed to leave NOW. So we walked away from the gathering to clear my head.
Unfortunately, it had no effect and my state of mind was only getting worse. Having no other options, I started to pray to God. I It was the first sincere prayer I had made since I was a child. I did not want to live, and I did not want to die. I desperately asked for help and proof of his existence.
Initially nothing happened, so I began to despair since now I felt that I had nothing else left to do. I am not sure how but I became aware of my brother, and this in turn had a cascade effect which reminded me of all the good things in my life. I suddenly knew that there was such a thing as "good". My mind made a sudden shift from Moral nihilism, to Moral universalism.
All the effects of intoxication and dread very quickly left me. These were replaced by another strange and even more powerful feeling.
I lifted my eyes to the night sky, and I was blown away - it all became clear. Rather than seeing things like I usually perceive them, with all the celestial bodies projected flat and at equal distance against a black backdrop, I saw space.
and
I glimpsed infinity, from the very large to the very small, and my place in the middle. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
I realized at that moment, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the One True God had created it all, me included. I wept.I no longer felt any fear of death and all my worries became insignificant. I realised that there was a God, and he was a "good" and ultimate power. Space looked awesome, everything in the environment felt "alive". The world was part of something greater and not just a product of chance.
I am not sure how, but I calmed down and went back to my friends. I did not tell them anything that happened. Later on however, I told my brother...
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that's a great story aalmakto. handshake
did you find that the experience altered your outlook on things permanently? if not, did you feel the backslide from this insight to be a great loss?I of course was in awe that something like that happened to me.It had an immediate affect in that it strengthened my belief in God and the afterlife. I was more humble as I began to realise my mortality. Unfortunately, I was still was obsessed with parties, going out etc. and for a long time afterwards I did not change in a visible way. But inside I was beginning to question what I was doing, and whether it was "right".
I also began to seriously read "spiritual" books searching for anything that could explain what happened. Most of what I read were New Age or had elements of the Eastern Religions in them. Reading them only lead to frustration. As I read through the books I would eventually come across an idea in the book that I thoroughly rejected. When this happened, the book became tarnished in my eyes and would be promptly "dropped" from my agenda.
So overall, the experience made me more aware of the spiritual side of life and set me on the correct path of learning and being sceptical of what people around me are telling me (since it was emulating my surroundings/friends that made me a hedonistic, atheist wannabe). However, without further guidance I was still confused and aimless. You can say the experience was a turning point that eventually lead to me reading the Quran and agreeing with it. Even though it took quite some time before I actually read it.
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Peace Ironsky,
Glad to see you are posting again )
I know it may sound as though weed has benefits and our stories show that something positive can come of it. But I think smoking very nearly ruined me. If I did not pray and have the subsequent experience. I think I would have been mentally traumatised from it. I foolishly thought it may have been the drug that caused the experience. So I smoked a third time. This time I once again felt bad (although not as bad as the second time).I never touched it again and warn people against using it.
3132 And when waves surround them like mountains, they call on God, sincerely devoting the system to Him. But when He saves them to the shore, some of them return. None discard Our signs except those who are betrayers, rejecters.
I think the above verse is similar to what happened to me. So I would not say the weed is what saved me, as I know what happened and the order in which events proceeded.
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Wow who would have thought a drug would make you see things that your natural sight ability couldn't.
Is it really seeing it through more vision? it's so weird.. but then again different animals have different kinds of vision.. but drugs do this?? odd..
amazing though alhamdulillah it has lead to belief and towards good things not the other way..
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i don't need tobacco or weed but i've read shrooms could enhance your dreams
you know i kinda love it when i'm dreaming and being in the middle of weird scenes
i bring these dreaming habits to my daytime, creating & imagining scenes and visuals for my works... so i'm wondering if shrooms will...
any advice?
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Wow who would have thought a drug would make you see things that your natural sight ability couldn't.
Is it really seeing it through more vision? it's so weird.. but then again different animals have different kinds of vision.. but drugs do this?? odd..
amazing though alhamdulillah it has lead to belief and towards good things not the other way..
Sarah the change in vision isn't a physical alteration but a purely mental one. I still needed my glasses for optical correction.
the change in mental state is profound on every level though. a different perception of visual things is merely one symptom of an all-encompassing state of mind.i use drugs as a tool to alter my state of mind. i have internal physiological means to get mind altered too
spinning - children do this all the time, spinning around, collapsing and slipping into a different state of mind that becomes easily accessable when one is "dizzy"
hyperventilating. Breathe too much, you get dizzy.
blood pressure drops. if i'm relaxed and prostrating, and then stand up straight, i get a headrush. this i've had all my life, and in my foolish youth i fainted outright a few times simply by rising from a chair too fast. i'm continually learning to use this quirk of my physiology as a tool for better prayer and remembrance of God.
drugs aside, i guess the drama surrounding my path is because i'm so bad at this. i needed to be stripped of money and material things, status, ambitions and so on, just to get what's obvious to others.
i praise God for all these tools that are available to me. i'm a dull, slow and reluctant student of my subject of passion. without this passion i would have become an entirely different person, in a bad way.God has truly been merciful and patient with me.
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blood pressure drops. if i'm relaxed and prostrating, and then stand up straight, i get a headrush. this i've had all my life, and in my foolish youth i fainted outright a few times simply by rising from a chair too fast. i'm continually learning to use this quirk of my physiology as a tool for better prayer and remembrance of God.
Josef, if you're having low blood pressure, you may try eating goat's meat (or do sth with your diet), i think it'll help a lot (i had LBP tendency too--and my brother)
And it's good to hear a story like yours, it's upping the spirit ) thanks for sharing. i think there will be many wonderful things to come in your life. Past is such a booster for the future.
Passion!
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san
far be it from me to suggest taking psilocybin mushrooms. it is a decision you and you alone must make.
should you choose to do so, i think it would be unwise to go into it with the purpose of advancing your works in any specific way. it will alter your mind, and it can do so in a variety of ways. visual perceptional changes are common, but not guaranteed. it is by no means sure that you end up having a good experience with the drug at all. i want you to know this before you decide to experiment.apart from this, my general advice would be to
prepare, seek purity
find a safe, calm and beautiful place
praise God, be humble -
you took me too seriously ;D but i really appreciate the advice!
the personal story i read (shroom addict) -- he went to sleep addiction, like 15-18 hours a day... unproductive, eh?
right now i'm pretty content with showering and napping (you're right -- safe, calm and beautiful place help a lot) to induce inspirations
P.S. with your experiences i'm sure you've felt many emotional extremes and its dynamics--bad and good? personally i've just beginning to think that each and every emotion i feel deeply is a miraculous gift, because it emphasizes being alive... if it's what you feel, i know how beautiful and addicting it is... "Love" (some may prefer "God" is the only addiction we need ) don't you agree?
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Welcome Josef.
And that was an great story thanks for sharing - nicely written too.Funny thing me and you have the same first name, and I'm also born in southern Scandinavia D
laugh
How many Josephs are in free-minds forum?